A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone!Thank you for your time reading this. I have a simple, yet extremely embarrassing question. I'm a "happily" married woman with two girls and 4 months pregnant. We live a moderate life,go to church and spend time with out family. While yes, we have our problems. My husband and I work through them and move forward.Except I have this slight issue... since the "happy" earlier. When I was first dating my husband he would try to go down on me to return the favor. Yet I wouldn't let him. The reason? I left an abusive relationship and allowed myself to get sick. UTIs, Grooming, that kinda deal and it really does effect the condition down stairs. Yet, after becoming more secure I cleaned up. Got medical attention (finally was allowed to do so) and got better. I've hinted about.... 100x a month that I would really like it if he would just go down on me. Back when we dated he spoke so highly about doing such things with women, and 69ing. So, I hurt that he won't even try. He won't really give me an answer and I'm afraid to ask him to tell me. I go down on him, (well not while pregnant it's just a no-no for me) I do everything he wants in bed and besides this he does everything I want. Like I said, pretty good set up. So, my question is... do I give up and accept that for whatever (I'm sure it would be a confidence crusher) reasons he won't go down on me? Or, is there something I can try to do to "better" myself? I groom myself, I clean, and personally I believe while pregnant I am a very beautiful woman whose sexual appetite is great.Just, confused. Thank you again for your time!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Amycoffeegirl +, writes (8 September 2016):
You could also put the issue on hold until after your pregnancy. Some men feel differently or uncomfortable about some sexual activity with pregnant women.I would recommend enjoying your current pregnancy, and after the birth of your next child, discuss the issue with him at that time.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 September 2016):
 It really could be 100 reasons, you need to ask him, yes it might dent your confidence but you need to know the truth.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 September 2016):
 Asking would be the best way to handle it - though bear in mind that some people just aren't keen on it, like some don't like the rear end being involved, etc.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (6 September 2016):
 Maybe he figures that since you don't go down on him while pregnant, him trying to do the same for you while you are pregnant would certainly lead to rejection... especially since it's not something you've ever liked or allowed from him before?
I agree with the others; the only sure way to find out is to ask your husband directly rather than dropping hints.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (6 September 2016):
As a man...If I know you had some medical issues down South, it would not make me feel too comfortable putting my mouth down there.
You should take him to your family doctor, and have him or her confirm your readiness to receive.
Another thing about guys...When you keep telling us no, we actually turn off that desire to do it. We no longer have interest, and it will take a lot to convince us to try again.
The idea becomes a turn off rather than a turn on...and the moment you mention it...yeah...no.
Talk to him and find out how he feels.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (6 September 2016):
 Ask him. Suck it up and find out why.
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