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Why doesn't my husband go down on me?

Tagged as: Health, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone!

Thank you for your time reading this. I have a simple, yet extremely embarrassing question.

I'm a "happily" married woman with two girls and 4 months pregnant. We live a moderate life,go to church and spend time with out family. While yes, we have our problems. My husband and I work through them and move forward.

Except I have this slight issue... since the "happy" earlier. When I was first dating my husband he would try to go down on me to return the favor. Yet I wouldn't let him. The reason? I left an abusive relationship and allowed myself to get sick. UTIs, Grooming, that kinda deal and it really does effect the condition down stairs. Yet, after becoming more secure I cleaned up. Got medical attention (finally was allowed to do so) and got better.

I've hinted about.... 100x a month that I would really like it if he would just go down on me. Back when we dated he spoke so highly about doing such things with women, and 69ing. So, I hurt that he won't even try. He won't really give me an answer and I'm afraid to ask him to tell me.

I go down on him, (well not while pregnant it's just a no-no for me) I do everything he wants in bed and besides this he does everything I want. Like I said, pretty good set up.

So, my question is... do I give up and accept that for whatever (I'm sure it would be a confidence crusher) reasons he won't go down on me? Or, is there something I can try to do to "better" myself? I groom myself, I clean, and personally I believe while pregnant I am a very beautiful woman whose sexual appetite is great.

Just, confused. Thank you again for your time!

View related questions: confidence, crush, married woman

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A female reader, Amycoffeegirl United States +, writes (8 September 2016):

You could also put the issue on hold until after your pregnancy.

Some men feel differently or uncomfortable about some sexual activity with pregnant women.

I would recommend enjoying your current pregnancy, and after the birth of your next child, discuss the issue with him at that time.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (7 September 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIt really could be 100 reasons, you need to ask him, yes it might dent your confidence but you need to know the truth.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntAsking would be the best way to handle it - though bear in mind that some people just aren't keen on it, like some don't like the rear end being involved, etc.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (6 September 2016):

like I see it agony auntMaybe he figures that since you don't go down on him while pregnant, him trying to do the same for you while you are pregnant would certainly lead to rejection... especially since it's not something you've ever liked or allowed from him before?

I agree with the others; the only sure way to find out is to ask your husband directly rather than dropping hints.

Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (6 September 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt

As a man...If I know you had some medical issues down South, it would not make me feel too comfortable putting my mouth down there.

You should take him to your family doctor, and have him or her confirm your readiness to receive.

Another thing about guys...When you keep telling us no, we actually turn off that desire to do it. We no longer have interest, and it will take a lot to convince us to try again.

The idea becomes a turn off rather than a turn on...and the moment you mention it...yeah...no.

Talk to him and find out how he feels.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2016):

N91 agony auntAsk him. Suck it up and find out why.

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