If he's happy then why is he still on dating sites?
Q. Hi everyone, I am hoping someone (preferably with experience of this) could shed some light on my problem. I have been seeing my boyfriend for a bit more than three years. He says he is happy. If he is happy, then why does he keep going to dating ...
A. 21 November 2013: Miss Led, Just as he was turning things around on you by accusing you of cheating, he's turning things around on you by accusing you of "game playing" when he's the one playing a game on you. Don't buy for one minute that "nobody else wou... (read in full...)
If he's happy then why is he still on dating sites?
Q. Hi everyone, I am hoping someone (preferably with experience of this) could shed some light on my problem. I have been seeing my boyfriend for a bit more than three years. He says he is happy. If he is happy, then why does he keep going to dating ...
A. 21 November 2013: I don't think happiness has anything to do with why he's on those sites--I think he's just a typical cheater. He would cheat on anyone he's with.
The fact that he gets mad at you for "prying" and accuses you of being a cheater are the signs th... (read in full...)
Do men keep stuff from their ex girlfriends?
Q. Hi. Firstly I'm typing this on my phone so sorry for any mistakes. I'll try and make this short. I've known this guy for six years as friends. We just recently startde dating and so far its been amazing. He's sweet, nice, focused on school a...
A. 18 November 2013: I agree with what others have said about it being mostly a "girl thing" to keep stuff from past relationships.
In this case however, I possibly think it could be an ego thing. He might like the way HE looks in that picture, and want to be remin... (read in full...)
He said he was single, but now I find out about his terminal girlfriend
Q. I've just found out that this guy I have been getting to know has a girlfriend and that she is terminally ill. I confronted him and he says he just needs someone to support him through this time. I feel sick to my stomach because we have kissed a ...
A. 18 November 2013: Sounds to me like he is looking to line you up as a "back up girlfriend" when she passes. A little creepy to me.
I would steer clear of him.
Yes, to cheat on a woman who's ill makes him look like a real jerk. And, if he could do that to... (read in full...)
Slept with a married work colleague
Q. I have worked with this man for a year. We flirt all day everyday and for as long as I've known him iv been attracted to him, hes also attracted to me but hes married. On friday we had a work party and i stayed in his hotel room and we had sex. Ther ...
A. 18 November 2013: These are the things married men like to tell naive young girls at work: ~We rarely sleep in the same bed. ~She cheated on me before... (always beware of the revenge cheater! They're just using you) ~I only stayed with her because she's pregn... (read in full...)
I always feel I'm annoying my FWB when I text him
Q. So, it started back in 2010 when I met this boy and we were just friends with benefits.. I started to really like him and he said he didn't want anything more and then he just randomly got a girlfriend with this girl I disliked at the time. So, ...
A. 17 November 2013: I always say FWB doesn't work. 9 times out of 10 One person always develops feelings for the other, and then the other pulls away...
in this case, you are the one developing feelings and he is pulling away.
You are letting yourself get use... (read in full...)
My ex found out about my new guy and the new guy ended things!
Q. I was with my boyf for 8 years. We broke up in June. I started seeing someone new in August. Things with this new guy were going great. I've totally fell for him and see a long term future for us. I have met up with my ex on a few occasions, as we ...
A. 17 November 2013: First, off I think your new boyfriend was afraid of being a "rebound." Most people don't want to be in that category. The first guy I dated after my divorce was reluctant to get involved with me for that very same reason, and that's one of the ... (read in full...)
How do I get my friend to give him a chance?
Q. I have this friend who has never had a boyfriend before and she feels really bad about it. She's the nicest person in the world to where she's TOO TOO nice. She is pretty but she's self conscience about her teeth being grayed out even tho it's not ...
A. 15 November 2013: Social maturity is different for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend yet when you are that young. I agree with what everyone else is saying: She's just not ready yet. You shouldn't pressure her about it. She'll start ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is still contacting her ex! It really hurts me!
Q. Dear agony aunts, Once again I need your advice. We've been in a relationship for 3 years, and as of July 2013, we live together. When we started dating, my girlfriend told me that her ex was calling her stuff and making threats. I took no part i...
A. 15 November 2013: I agree with Sugarplum786. It's probably best if you end things now, rather than be hurt more later...if the situation between the two escalates.
The fact that she's continually talking to him despite your requests not to shows that she is n... (read in full...)
How do I deal with retroactive jealousy?
Q. Hi there, this will be long but I'm in need of help and would appreciate the time and any advice you can offer. I'm 27 living in Los Angeles Cali, working at a video game company. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy since my ve...
A. 10 November 2013: I personally think the work environment is toxic to your relationship, and maybe you both need to find new jobs. Even a secure confident woman like yourself can feel insecure in the workplace with constant reminders of his past. Occupational... (read in full...)
Please help me figure it out because I don't understand his behavior!
Q. My husband flirts with EVERY pretty woman. Even on our honey moon he did invite woman to go out,and he would ask me to go with him too. He is a nice,charming,and smooth voice type.Was handsome but now his is getting fat belly,bald,but still smooth o...
A. 10 November 2013: Honey, it is not your fault. The problem is him, not you!
He is a jerk with a "wondering eye" at the very least, and a pervert and potential cheater at the most.
He's not a mature man, but an insecure little boy who is flirting around and play... (read in full...)
I found a HIV-test. Did she cheat on me?
Q. I have a steady girlfriend from past 2 years. Before I came in her life she had around 5-6 men in her life. But I am sure that from past 2 years it's been just me. I moved to another town close by - 2 hour drive from my current place for a work ...
A. 10 November 2013: I wouldn't consider that "nothing." I would prompt her for answers... It doesn't necessarily mean that she cheated, but if she is considered at risk than she should be open and honest with you. Maybe one of her partners back before you was... (read in full...)
I trust him, but I worry he will cheat on me!
Q. I trust my boyfriend but last time he went out with the boys he got drunk and slept another woman. Now he's out again and I'm afraid it will happen again. I want to trust that he will make the right choice this time. I just can't make myself stop ...
A. 10 November 2013: Once a cheater, always a cheater. You are right not to trust him. If he did it before, he'll do it again. You're young...and there are plenty of guys out there. Don't waste your time with someone untrustworthy. ... (read in full...)
Unsure if he is "The One"?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, living with him for one. 95% of the time it is perfect and he is a great guy but I go through phases where I feel maybe he's not 'the one'. I feel like he takes me for granted, rarely wants to make lov...
A. 10 November 2013: First of all, take the guy you kissed out of the equation. Don't complicate matters worse. Deal with the one guy, then if it don't work out THEN move on to the other guy...and deal with whether or not you have feelings for him.
Secon... (read in full...)
Could he really be happy with his wife and act that way with another woman?
Q. I am single and met a married man recently. We spent a lot of time together talking and the chemistry was intense. We both said some extremely suggestive things we probably shouldn't have. We both wanted to go home together but he couldn't do it as ...
A. 10 November 2013: OP,
I'm not saying (and I don't think anybody is saying) that that's "normal behavior for a married happily man," I sure don't think it is.
Some men are just cads. Not all, but some. THey get off on the "thrill" of womanizing.
... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my boyfriend being friends with this cheater?
Q. My boyfriend is friends with a girl who cheats on her boyfriend with a lot of guys. (she even admits it) I'm not trying to judge her but I feel uncomfortable with her being friends with my boyfriend. I've met her and have been around her. She ...
A. 9 November 2013: You have every right to be concerned. To not be concerned would show that you don't care about your BF and your relationship. You have every right to ask him to break away from his friendship with her. And, if he loves and cares about yo... (read in full...)
Should you reveal what you did in the past?
Q. What does everyone think about revealing a shameful episode of cheating on a previous partner to a future partner? If cheating took place in a long , supposedly committed relationship, and went on for a few months then is this something that n...
A. 9 November 2013: Just be honest.
Express yourself properly that you've made mistakes in the past when you were young; and explain that you learned your lesson and would never do it again then you'll at least be respected by your partner.
Don't tell th... (read in full...)
I've been a little obsessive about looking at my ex's facebook and pictures, I know it hurts my girlfriend, what should I do?
Q. Hi all, So I broke it off with my controlling ex girlfriend over three years ago, we were together for about a year and a half and she had a young son from a previous relationship. She didn't treat me well and while I sort of hate her, it's more tha...
A. 9 November 2013: Firstly, STOP blaming your girlfriend's insecurities; because you are the one that keeps doing things to make her insecure.
If you lied to her about contacting the EX, then YES she's going to be suspicious and insecure. You want her to trust you?... (read in full...)
Could he really be happy with his wife and act that way with another woman?
Q. I am single and met a married man recently. We spent a lot of time together talking and the chemistry was intense. We both said some extremely suggestive things we probably shouldn't have. We both wanted to go home together but he couldn't do it as ...
A. 9 November 2013: A married man is a married man, period. Whether he's happy or not is irrelevant, and if he really was miserable with her he would have left and divorced her.
If he told you his marriage is good, and he's happy then you have to respect that. ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like a happily married man?
Q. I am 35 single female never married, has a crush on a manager 35 (he is married with 2 kids under 7) in the same office building. We connected on linkedin and after that it was non stop emails from him to me telling me about at first how he(only he ...
A. 9 November 2013: A married man is still a married man, "happily" or not.
If he was "done with his wife" he would be divorced, or separated. Not all guys stay "just for the kids." Some men are just cheaters. THey get a trill out of having a girl on the side... (read in full...)
FWB: why hasn't he contacted me?
Q. Do fwb's suddenly go silent? I've been friends with benefits with a guy on and off (mostly on) for nearly a year. He is sexy as hell, I approached him, but at the time was going through a rocky patch with my then-boyfriend. I was open with him ...
A. 8 November 2013: IMO, FWB NEVER works. Ever. You may have put him on the shelf too long and he got bored, or you might have chased him off...hard to say. But, when a guy loses interest in you that fast either thing could be the case...or he's a stereotypical ... (read in full...)
I can't get over my husband cheating with this awful woman!
Q. I had marital problems last year, long story short my husband was cheating on me with an actual whore and when I mean who're I mean this nasty person cheated on her x-husband for the 17 years of Thier marriage she found my husband and found him to ...
A. 8 November 2013: Damn, I completely understand. It's hard to forgive and forget...and knowing the type of whore she was, I'm sure you have a whole lot of fears you'd never have if he'd cheated with some "Farmer's Daughter" type. Regardless of the type of skan... (read in full...)
How do I deal with insecurity in my relationship?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I've known my boyfriend for five months now, and in the beginning I was very cautious. He knew he wanted a relationship with me from the start, but I wanted to take some time to get to know each other. I had never had a rela...
A. 8 November 2013: You are well in your rights to be jealous...jealousy is fearing that somebody will take his love and attention away from you, when he absolutely should be devoted to you. Secondly, he really shouldn't be crashing at a female friend's house, ... (read in full...)
Disastrous haircut! How do I deal with it?
Q. I know this may seem the silliest of issues and I feel very stupid asking for help over such trivial matter. So, I've had my hair cut super super super short yesterday. I thought I'd look good but... I don't!!! I look awful!!! Even my colleagues and ...
A. 7 November 2013: Aw, I have been there and done that more times than I can name! I think we've all been there...my mom is going through almost the exact same thing.
Now a days, you can find inexpensive clip in extensions at sites like wigs.com and ultimate... (read in full...)
Does being cheated on make you more likely to cheat?
Q. What do you think? My girlfriend's last boyfriend cheated on her. Would that make her more likely? Since her experience with her ex, she is very jealous with me. That is understandable. I wonder if that makes it more likely for her to cheat. ...
A. 5 November 2013: I have been cheated on by 3 guys (including my ex-hubby) and never once been tempted to cheat. I could never do that to another person. I do not think being cheated on is an indicator. But... More likely than not, That is not what caused her t... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to end this quickly and with no mess?
Q. I started seeing this guy back in September. We're both in the same major in my university and had a class together last year. I always got the feeling he had a crush on me and I thought he was a nice guy, so we started going on dates. The thing is, ...
A. 5 November 2013: When I was in college, I was in the exact same situation you are in. I know how awkward it can be.
What I did was tell the guy that I only liked him as a friend (which is true) and that I wanted to focus on my studies, and wasn't ready for a re... (read in full...)
People tell me I should get to know him but something about him makes me uneasy
Q. Why do I feel strange round this older man? There is a man I have recently met (few weeks) and everyone seems to love him he is charming, a great speaker, and in his 40s but for some reason I just don't feel comfortable around him, I hate it when I ...
A. 5 November 2013: Trust your gut. And, it wouldn't hurt to take your mom's advice either. Stay away from him, if he is making you uncomfortable. Don't worry what other people think, and people telling you you are just being overly sensitive...they might m... (read in full...)
Need advice on a connection I made online that's got messy please.
Q. This may be long but please bear with me I really need some insight from everyone. So I'll start with I'm a 28 y/o lesbian and about four months ago I did the whole online dating profile thing and found a young lady who seemed more or less interest...
A. 4 November 2013: First, I'd try the polite thing and then just end things civilly. Tell her that you are just not interested in her, and that your friendship could jeopardize your job.
Ask her to stop calling.
If that doesn't work I'd be more extreme.
... (read in full...)
How do I say goodbye to my teacher/crush
Q. I am a male sophmore 16 years old in southern california and i am upset because my english teacher 23 yrs old(teacher in training) is leaving beacause she has completed her training. She is extremley attracitive and even called me her best freind no ...
A. 4 November 2013: Send a totally platonic thank you note.
Let her know you appreciated her work and her friendship.
That's it.
Do not include your number or an invitation to hang out.
If it's meant to be she'll come back into your life at some poin... (read in full...)
Best friend and I like the same man!
Q. I'm having a major love crisis. One of my best friends likes a guy and she has liked him longer than I have. Apparently I like him to and he likes me back. I haven't told her yet and I have talked to other people I trust and I have gotten different ...
A. 4 November 2013: I am in agreement with Chigirl on this one. Your friendship is certainly more valuable than a boy you are suddenly intersted in. I think you need to look at it this way: Your friend--specifically your best friend--has liked this guy for a signif... (read in full...)
How do I handle things with a married friend?
Q. This page has been great at helping me so asking another question if that's ok, The thing I'm asking foradvice on how to handle a situation with a man from church I kinda like him and he has gave me loads of hints that it is mutal. Like watching me ...
A. 2 November 2013: I think you need to back away from his friendship...and maybe consider that it's not a real friend, but a married man who likes to flirt with a young girl while the wife is not around.
I think finding another place to sit in church, and other pe... (read in full...)
Should I cut my really long hair because my boyfriend likes short hair?
Q. I have really long hair. Myboyfriend an i really love each other. but he likes hair short so he is asking me to cut them. should i do what he says. i cant make up my mind but i do want to make him happy...
A. 2 November 2013: You should only cut your hair if YOU want to cut it. If you like it long, are comfortable with it, enjoy (or at least don't mind) styling it every morning...then leave it long. Maybe you can find a cute, short wig to wear on occasion, for yo... (read in full...)
How can something feel so right yet be so wrong? In love with a married man who loves me too, but also loves his wife and wont leave her.....
Q. I don't know what to do... I don't even know how to start. I never been on any of these sites before.. this is also a long story. I met this man at a work place..once I was working there he texted me and would flirt just a little (he had my numbe...
A. 31 October 2013: Honey, you are being played for a fool by this man. You need to get out of this situation, ASAP. He doesn't want to leave his wife and be with you...but doesn't want you to be with anyone else either, because of HIS jealousy since he wants t... (read in full...)
Red flag or not? He has an inordinate number of 20-30 yo beautiful girls as friends on FB
Q. Is this a red flag or nothing at all? I found a college friend on Facebook. He's 57 and I'm 52. Looks as if by his profile he's a nice normal guy. Loves animals. Not a million pictures of himself. Nor a million 'friends'. Posts insight...
A. 31 October 2013: I think what you're really trying to say here is "is he serious relationship material?". (I think that's the point some others here may have missed). Given what you said about his FB activities, I can totally understand your questioning this... (read in full...)
Do some women like being someones bit on the side?
Q. Do some women like being a man's bit on the side? the reason why I ask this is because I have noticed this girl at work in this situation. She is single but she has started seeing this guy whose in a long term relationship living with his girl ...
A. 31 October 2013: In my opinion, some women are so insecure about their looks/charm or whatever that they need to "rate" themselves in comparison to others, and (as FatherlyAdvice said) compete. They think if they can steal X guy from Y girl, then they'll at ... (read in full...)
My husband said he was only on the dating site to look at the pictures
Q. I found out my husband had been going on hookup/dating sites. He claimed he was using photos for masturbation vs going to porn sites. At first he lied and denied it at all. He said he didn't know how those sites got on his phone. (And I found them ...
A. 31 October 2013: I admit it is a little creepy that he looks at online dating cites, when there are dozens of photos online that you can look up...even photos of celebrities, etc. In giving him the benefit of the doubt, it could be that he (like some men) are tu... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? My boyfriend wants to add his boss' girlfriend on facebook.
Q. I need some advice so I don't turn this into an argument between my bf and I. We've been together for 3 years. We're both in our early 30's. We don't live together but do spend weekends together and any days during the week if we can find time ...
A. 19 October 2013: First of all, I think it is a great policy that you and your boyfriend have about asking each other how you feel about adding people of the opposite sex to FB, given your similar backgrounds with being cheated on.
However, I think if you do (... (read in full...)
Can't get over my ex even though he's been ignoring me
Q. I'm 18 and this summer I had a month-and-a-half relationship with a guy who was a year younger than me and whom I'd met through some high school projects. We'd known each other since February, but only started talking a lot in May. When I say a lot, ...
A. 19 October 2013: My guess is he's very young/immature, and showing a little bit of relationship-phobia. He's not ready for a girlfriend yet, in any REAL sense of the word and he got scared off.
Unless you've had a fight, and he got mad at you for somethin... (read in full...)
My husband just left me for a younger woman
Q. i am feeling like a total fool. i was informed last night that my husband of 23 years wants a divorce, he has a baby by a girl that is 24 years old and she is expecting another one by him again... yes you read this right the baby she just had is 4 ...
A. 19 October 2013: Aw, honey I was in almost exactly the same situation 12 years ago. Life does go on...and it gets much better.
First off, the problem isn't YOU, it's him. He's a cheater, and if he cheated on you with her, he will cheat on her with the next gir... (read in full...)
Is this classed as cheating..has he learned his lesson?
Q. Hi I need some peoples advice on a situation because I feel myself going crazy! I've been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years, all was going great up until summer of last year... I noticed he started acting really strange at the end of s...
A. 19 October 2013: That definitely counts as cheating, and I think he's not telling you the whole story.
You have every right to ask questions, and even more of a right to just leave the situation. His anger is akin with a cheater blaming their spouse for their ac... (read in full...)
We broke up because of facebook! Who's right?
Q. So a few days ago my girlfriend randomly starts acting cold and won't tell me what's wrong initially. She then spills the beans and tells me that she saw me on Facebook liking photos and statuses of girls that she knows I used to talk to. We ...
A. 16 October 2013: What is the nature of the statuses and pics that you are liking? If they are sexual pics of these girls, or provocative statuses then you may be out of line.
If it's liking pics of their dogs/cats or statuses like "I'm going to Pizza Hut for ... (read in full...)
My widower partner on chat rooms to women - this is ultimate betrayal and cheating
Q. hi, I am a female and i have been with my male partner for 6 yesrs. he was widowed in may 2006 and I met him on match.com in September 06. he has been hard work due to his three steps forward two steps back routine and he just has periods when he ...
A. 16 October 2013: You are well justified to leave him. Yes, that is cheating absolutely. If he's not telling you about them and not telling them about you and your relationship/living together AT ALL, then that's absolutely cheating. Especially if he's meeting ... (read in full...)
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