A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know this may seem the silliest of issues and I feel very stupid asking for help over such trivial matter. So, I've had my hair cut super super super short yesterday. I thought I'd look good but... I don't!!! I look awful!!! Even my colleagues and friends told me I shouldn't have done it! My husband is the only person who says I'm gorgeous, but he's my husband, what else can he say? Everytime I see my reflection I feel like crying because that's just not me!! And it's gonna be at least 4 months before I go back to looking half-decent. This is really hard for me and I hate lokking so ugly! My self esteem is going down the drain! Any ideas on how to deal with this? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ever so much to all of you!!! Reading tour replies made me feel better and realize that somehow we've all been there. It'll grow out, it's gonna take patience and time but eventually it will! I've already bought a couple of colorful scarves i can wear around my head and some cute beanies I'll be able to wear indoors as well. It's going to take a little getting used to, but I will take it as a journey and hang in there. Thank you all for the support, you really made me feel a whole lot better! Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2013): I did that, then went to another hairdresser to see if they could fix it and was told I'd have to wear a bandana for six months. However I then went to a top notch salon with a very good stylist who really changed the shape of the cut so it was less buzzcut and much much more stylish. Even though it was short it did look good. But I still felt naked and exposed, just could tolerate that. And I went back to the good salon every six weeks and she helped me grow it out, and always made me feel good about my hair. Now it's just coming to shoulder length and looking good. I did try hair extensions but they never actually looked really convincing so I just didn't bother in the end. I also tried to improve other aspects of my appearance I'd got lazy about, so lost a bit of weight, got new makeup....it's a journey. Take photos every now and then, very encouraging to see progress. And interesting to look back on too. Good luck!
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female
reader, KC12  +, writes (7 November 2013):
 Aw, I have been there and done that more times than I can name! I think we've all been there...my mom is going through almost the exact same thing.
Now a days, you can find inexpensive clip in extensions at sites like wigs.com and ultimatelooks.com. They're great, not at all uncomfortable, and kind of fun. As your hair grows in, you'll rely on them a lot less and get more comfortable with your own natural hair. ;)
An even less extension is a clip-in ponytail or headband fall. I think you can even get some of those at some local retail stores.
Just be sure they match your hair color as best you can (I've made that mistake before. EEK!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): perhaps some sew in hair extensions to help you kill four months time..
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 November 2013):
 Please reconcile to yourself that you will look OUTSTANDING in four months.... Then....
Come back on here, on March 6, 2014, and tell us how your life has been!!!!
Good luck... and, thank goodness that hair grows.. even if we fail to water and fertilize it!!!!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 Speaking of hair disasters, if it will make you feel better. My friend was going to bleach blond stripes on me at home once. She did a terrible job, bleached the top of my hair so it was basically in two colours, Barbie blond on top and natural underneath. It was left in way too long. It was terrible. Until I got myself to a hair dresser I had to be smart on how to style it to get by. It was absolutely dreadful. I looked like I was wearing the top half of a wig. But I made it work, and if that can be done then surely you can make your hair work too.
I do not recommend dying your hair, unless you are dead sure the new color will fit you. Otherwise it might just be a second disaster, which you do not need. And, with short hair, it wont take long to see the difference once your natural colour starts to show. So, do not dye or bleach it. I fear it will just give you more of a head ache...
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (6 November 2013):
Head off to youtube this instant. Search up hair tutorials for super short hair and see as many videos as you can find to get a sense of just what you can do with your head. Try out the styles, buy the hair accessories needed, and fix it up. ANYTHING can be fixed, I promise you.
If you don't have any luck what so ever, buy a hat. But I imagine a cute hair band/flower/other hair accessory and a little bit of gel (or bobby pins if it's long enough) will do the trick.
Remember, it's just hair, it grows back. And it's great to experiment, now you know you wont do it again and have just saved yourself a future hair crisis. Imagine if you decided to cut it that short right before a wedding or other big event. Now that would be more like a crisis. Now is a fine time to experiment.
Congrats on being brave enough to go for a super short look! You can make it look great, just get used to it, learn how to style it, and wear it with pride until it grows out!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): It's fine you just need to get back to the hairdresser and ask her how to style it. When people go short from long they love it awhen the hairdresser has just done it but as soon as they wash it they have no idea how to get it back to looking good. Seek advice for styling
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 November 2013):
Same thing happened to my wife. She even had women start hitting on her because they figured she must be a lesbian.
Within a few days it settled and was manageable. It'll be awhile before it's an ideal length but it's fine now.
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female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (6 November 2013):
 Aw....I think most of us ladies have had a similar experience! A bad haircut or a hairdresser that didnt understand what you meant, or a bad perm..you go home look in the mirror and think "Oh dear Lord..what have I done?" and then you cry...
But hey..chin up..as the other lovely aunts have said..it WILL grow back! Right now its kind of a shock every time you look at the mirror its like.."Who is that?? Oh..that's me!" In a few days you might learn to like it, even love it! And if you don't...
Wigs and hairpieces dahling.....they are all the rage. Look at all the stars you know they are all wearing them! Experiment! You can get nice hairpieces online, Sally's beauty supply etc, even some drug stores and hey, they're pretty nice..not like they used to be. You can get ones to give a little height, a ponytail, and even a full wig..so don't fret. I have several hairpieces that make me look like I have really thick long hair and people dont even realize its not my real hair!
Try scarfs, pretty little clips, bows, just experiment a little. If a week or so goes by and you still dont like your hair, if you feel comfortable, you could always streak your hair, or dye it a different color. I'd wait awhile before doing that though.
Try new makeup, focus on your face, buy some really pretty earrings, some popping bright lipstick..and BREATH..it will grow back..Promise!
And kudo to your hubby for being a sweetheart...you know he really might like the "new" you and not just be saying nice things to comfort you...Who knows?
Just experiment a little, I'm sure you'll find something that you will like..just don't let it get you down ok? *HUGS*
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (6 November 2013):
 I too cut my hair like a boys cut my rx said he liked it go figure cause I look like TEENAGE BOY UUGGGH PEOPLE was laughing at me to at work cause I have a male pattern baldness spot caused by severe head trauma injury. I would say if you want get a wig. I just wore a rap a durag and so forth. I even shave mine skin bald to see the full effect of my damage trauma bald like Michael Jordan. alot of women do it from time to time to start fresh after a major breakup or life changing event although when I got the wig they think Im a witch lmao.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 First of all, before deciding that you hate how you look, wait a few days. It can be, believe it or not, that your new haircut does actually suit you, just it was a suddenm drastic change and people ( including you and your friends ) generally do not cope well with drastic changes. They got attached to the old mental image of you, and anything very different is at first perceived as " bad " just because it's different. See if in a week your new haircut hasn't grown on you- if not in length :) in terms of your acceptance.
If you still hate it and wince when you see yourself in the mirror- wigs . Look at the bright side, this is the perfect chance to sport finally the hairdo of your dreams : waist length tresses, a sleek , Asiatic- straight bob, a wild ,rocker style head in outrageous colours...
Wigs now are not just for balding old matrons, or alopecia sufferers. They are fun , popular fashion statements, and although the natural hair ones can be rxpensive, now the affordable synthetic ones are so well made that there's really not a huge difference.
You don't need to invent complicated stories , if someone is so nosy to ask you why you are wearing a wig, just tell them you are temporarily covering up a disappointing haircut. Not a crime, is it?
Most of all- hey it's just 4 months. A short time, and it will fly if you focus your mind over all the other pleasant or important things you ( hopefully ) have to think about, beside your haircuts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): There is a tiny difference between you liking yourself and not, it could be a week and you will think that this haircut is exactly what you wanted. Eat a lot food with vitamin c, it helps your hair grow.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 November 2013):
 Go to a good makeup artist and have her show you how to play up your eyes, cheekbones and lips. Now that all that hair is out of the way, your face can be the focus and you should take advantage of that. Be positive about the change for now, it'll grow back.
I know people who have gone through chemo and lost all their hair, including eyelashes and eyebrows, be thankful you still have hair and your eyelashes and eyebrows. Take a look at the cancer support sites that show women how to look and feel good while having no hair. Maybe it will remind you that you are young and healthy and beautiful just as you are. A little attitude adjustment couldn't hurt.
Get some great earrings, some cute hats and have fun with it. http://www.tlcdirect.org (I know, that site caters to cancer patients who have lost their hair but it is the non-profit website and catalog of the American Cancer Society.
For the time being, take what you have and make the best of it. You are not your hair. Or are you? Hmmm?
I suspect your self-esteem was already wobbly if this is so devastating for you. Maybe it's a wake up call, to face whatever else is going on that is making you feel so bad about yourself. Part of aging is coping with the changes that happen, you are in your early 30s, maybe you are facing your mortality for the first time?
So, practically, go get a great makeover and some cute hats and earrings. Psychologically, address the self-esteem issues you have going on.
Good luck. And it'll grow, no worries.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 November 2013):
 My mother was trained as a hairdresser/cosmetologist and did it most of my life as a young child. She trained under and worked for one of the best hairdressers in the world (Victor Horst, founder of the Horst Salon and Aveda products).
He was fond of saying that the difference between a bad haircut and a good one was two weeks. This doesn't mean that you won't still feel like you've made a mistake. This doesn't mean that you won't never try this again as long as you live.
What it means is that as your hair gets used to its new length, and as you get used to modifying and crafting the hair you have, you'll start identifying with it, and it'll become a part of you.
Right now, you have a self-identity of the hair you used to have. That's why you're freaking out and crying. And, as they say in the bible, a woman's hair is her crown of glory. Give it a couple of weeks to a month, and you'll be playing with that hair, maybe liking some of the style it brings you, and your self-image (and everyone else who is used to you!) will modify.
Also, don't worry! Hair always grows back! Some faster than others, but it always will! And you've learned something about yourself in the process. So take some deep breaths and don't worry.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): I know how you feel. I had a similar experience years ago.What about trying some pretty hair clips in to make it feel a bit more feminine/stylish? You could grip it back off your face in sections, or back comb it aswell? Or wear some nice earrings to show off while your hair is short.It's hard to comment without seeing it, but I understand how you feel.Just think though that your hair grows an average of 1 inch every 2 months, but quicker when it's shorter. So break it down week by week and know it will be that bit longer as the days pass by.I would try to focus on other stuff though otherwise it could really ruin your days. Get busy and if there's something you want to do that may take a few weeks you could think that by the time you've finished whatever task your hair will be looking longer.I think you will start to get used to the feeling of it shorter after a couple of weeks and by the time you are used to it it'll feel longer and just keep growing.At least you will have learned and know its not for you. Gosh, I wish my problem was as small as yours. I read all the probs on here all the time as I have a big issue in my life at the moment! That's a different story! Hope you feel happier soon :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): I agree--try dying it!
If you have brown hair--maybe going blonde to get that pixie look?
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