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Do men keep stuff from their ex girlfriends?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi.

Firstly I'm typing this on my phone so sorry for any mistakes. I'll try and make this short.

I've known this guy for six years as friends. We just recently startde dating and so far its been amazing. He's sweet, nice, focused on school and work But makes time for me. He treats me really well and I do everything I can to make him smile every day. (:

But.. before me he was with eight other girls. Only one he was really serious with. He's 24 and the girl was his high school 'love' and I say it like that because he even told me when I asked him if he loved her that he doesn't think a 17 year old can really love anyone..

So one day he lent me his lap top for my school project and when I was saving pictures and documents I noticed he had one picture of him and his ex girlfriend, the one he was serious about.. or at least the one that really hurt him. I'm not really bothered by it since its been such a long time (and the date it was saved was way before we got together) I'm just really curious why he would keep it.

The pic shows him looking down at her affectionately and smiling and her looking up at him with the same look in her eyes. They were only together for four months.

I'm not mad or angry and I don't wanna ask more about it. I'm really just curious lol do men typically keep stuff with their exes?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 November 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntSure why not... women keep things so do men.

My husband has a card and an item his ex gave him long before he knew me... no big deal to me either... as for pictures on computers.. he may not even remember it's there.

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A female reader, KC12 United States +, writes (18 November 2013):

KC12 agony auntI agree with what others have said about it being mostly a "girl thing" to keep stuff from past relationships.

In this case however, I possibly think it could be an ego thing. He might like the way HE looks in that picture, and want to be reminded of the way he looked when he was younger.

...just my two cents though. ;)

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 November 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntNo man ever forgets his first love..maybe she was his?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013):

He was very young then. She was his first true sweetheart.

The affection from the time of puppy-love to the present, has changed immensely since he reached manhood.

No worries. It's just the memory of a great moment in his life that one picture represents.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013):

I would not personally keep any photos of an ex no matter how serious just the same as I would not keep in contact with an ex as I just prefer to leave the past in the past. That being said everyone is different and everyone has a different opinion

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013):

I agree with HoneyPie. Saving mementos is much more of a "girl thing" (I too have a box which I call "ghosts of boyfriends past") but I think guys can want to keep mementos too.

If these mementos are stored away appropriately it shouldn't really be a problem.

I'm reminded of a boyfriend who insisted on keeping his wedding outfit. I had no problem with him wanting to keep the item but I did object to having to share a wardrobe with something that took up a lot of room and that he was never going to wear again (unless he wanted to look like 1980's Miami Vice.) In our first flat together space was at a premium and I insisted that he move it to the loft where it lived happily ever after.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013):

I guess everyone is different i know myself that when i & my long term ex broke up i deleted as many traces as possible! I just wanted to move onto a future that didnt involve reminders of him.

However my ex does keep photos of girls he has previously been with nothing major like group photos i think !

But i guess mabye guys are not as emoitionally connected as we can be in some relationships

Mabye guys are to lazy to trace their entire laptop to delete a few pictures

Or mabye he just likes the picture

Men and women react differently to situations try not to take it seriously unless you start seeing a trend of her around but dont go looking for a problem

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI honestly think women tend to keep more mementos then men do, but yes, it's not really strange to keep a picture or two. Back in the day, it was kind of common that a girl saved just about everything (ticket stubs, dried roses.. you name it)

She might have made quite an impact on him (good or bad) and don't forget when you are 15+ you think things can last forever. :)

Unless he has it out and displayed around his bedroom or use it as a screen saver I really wouldn't worry.

In a way, I think it's a way to compartmentalizing your past.

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