A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had marital problems last year, long story short my husband was cheating on me with an actual whore and when I mean who're I mean this nasty person cheated on her x-husband for the 17 years of Thier marriage she found my husband and found him to be very gullible hung on her every lie (which was proven, she amitted to it). She convinced my husband to get rid of me and they can marry and she would stay truthful to him and I'm sure she lied about that too because she knew my husband didn't have awhole lot of money and she wanted an expensive condo with expensive things to put in it and an expensive vehical so she knows he would have to work 2 or 3 jobs to afford all that on top of spousel support and while he's out Thier working hard she can bring in her men to have sex with. We never divorced but he did walk out on me. He would lie constantly play mind games mentally abuse me I ended up getting very sick. I have stomach problems which caused me to lose a lot of weight I had mental anguish, emotional depression, and had panic attacks. Well we had made up and decided to work on our marriage and we are doing good. Problem is him lying to benefit a whore and I keep thinking about what happened and I can't stand it anymore, what can I do to stop this? She's out of his life she met another married man so she's gone. Why can't I stop thinking about this, I want to very badly but I can't because things between us 3 went too far and way above and hurt me to unbelief. Please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2013): You can't get over it because you are a normal mentally healthy person with a normal survival instinct. Your survival instinct is what makes you so averse to him, it is self preservation and self defense. It isn't normal or healthy to knowingly make yourself vulnerable to someone who has betrayed you and hurt you. The healthy response is to get far far away from such a dangerous person, NOT to hang around them!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2013): Let me just say I appreciate all the answers I got thank you's very much. I need to respond a little more. I fought to get my husband back I wanted to give my marriage a second chance and bring my family together again, family means a lot to me.My husband did realize it was a huge mistake being with that w^^^ because he realized she wasn't nothing he thought she was. I'm not just blaming that ^^^^^ ^^^^^^I blame them both. I did take him back and he wanted to come back and we both decided to work on our marriage and like I said we are doing good so far. Of course their be some worries of him doing it again but I do need to let the past go so we can move on with our lives. I love this man with everything I got but the trust has to be earned again, guess it will take some time. Thank you's very much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2013): You took him back along with memories attached. So, you have to make a decision. Keep him and get over it; or finally divorce him, and purge all the garbage he put you through.When you decide to look the other way, and forgive someone who cheated on you; you may as well go the whole nine yards.That means forgive and FORGET! Not slide it under the rug until you get him back. Then hound him for what he did to you.The reason you took him back, was out of competition with someone you had disdain for. It was out of principle. You'd rather take him back; then let her have him. You rejected the better option to kick his ass to the curb. For all you know he was exposed to STD's, HIV, or herpes; for being with a woman you claim sleeps around. Why did you want him back? Maybe he only came back; because he doesn't want the expense of a divorce, and losing half of his assets. You didn't seem to matter much when he was carousing with her.Either divorce the jerk, or quietly and contently accept him back. Please have yourself checked for HIV. It is uncertain if he took precautions while with the other woman.If you both have worked it out; maybe you just need some time and it will fade. If it doesn't; choose an option you can live with.
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A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (8 November 2013):
 Damn, I completely understand. It's hard to forgive and forget...and knowing the type of whore she was, I'm sure you have a whole lot of fears you'd never have if he'd cheated with some "Farmer's Daughter" type. Regardless of the type of skank she is, your husband violated your trust and that can be extremely hard to rebuild. There would always be that fear that he would cheat again...Heck, I know a woman whose husband cheated on her and while they remained married the trust was so irrevocably broken she wouldn't even let him go to the bathroom by himself. (true story). It is harder to forgive a cheater, than it is to forgive someone who stole money from you...Finally, your husband doesn't sound like he has very much respect for you. I'd advise marital counseling if you really want to salvage anything here. Beyond that, I'd advise you to leave...Find a real, honest man who respects you and would never cheat and who will always be honest. Divorces are ugly (I should know) but marriages that are damaged severely may not be worth saving. YOU deserve better. You deserve a man who would NEVER lie, would NEVER cheat. YOU deserve better than him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2013): You feel like this because as much as you like to blame the other woman, the truth is he broke his vows, he lied and he betrayed you more than a strange woman who owed you nothing. That's why it hurts- because it's all on him. He broke your heart and now he's back making you second choice?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 November 2013):
 I believe you'll be much happier when you dump HIM (your hubby) AND his whore.... and get on with your life as a SINGLE woman!!!!!! Try that for a while!!!!
Good luck....
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