A
male
age
36-40,
*lias me
writes:Do some women like being a man's bit on the side? the reason why I ask this is because I have noticed this girl at work in this situation. She is single but she has started seeing this guy whose in a long term relationship living with his girl friend.Its none of my business and I keep myself to myself but I find it warped. As they sit next to me at work I cant help but hear the situation she seems to be in love with him but he's there showing off to the other guys and me saying how he's earning "man points" because he's seeing 2 women at once and hes also how this is nothing special and he just wanted to "hang out the back of her" all this while hes in a long term relationship. I keep thinking she must know hes a horrible person for 2 timing and using her as a bit on the side but she seems to love it.the other day I heard him saying to her how his girl friend found loads of flirty texts between them he said that he convinced his girl friend that it was just "banter" but they cant text anymore. She actually felt sorry for him saying his girl friend is treating him unfairly and she asked him " what does that mean for our relationship now??"I then had this guy going on to me laughing about how hes got away with cheating on his girl friend and is still seeing other girls. I don't get it do some girls like being treated like this??, how come some people don't understand the logistics that if someone's cheating on someone with you then they can do it to you hence not making them relationship material? I know other people at my work who are sleeping with married men continually... it confuses me ,can someone shed any light for me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2013): Some of these kinds of women "don't realize they deserve more" because they don't deserve more. Or want more. Cheaters are sexier & more exciting than good guys. Lots of people just find that more attractive than boring healthy relationships with good partners.
A
female
reader, KC12  +, writes (31 October 2013):
 In my opinion, some women are so insecure about their looks/charm or whatever that they need to "rate" themselves in comparison to others, and (as FatherlyAdvice said) compete. They think if they can steal X guy from Y girl, then they'll at least be prettier (in their own opinion) than that girl. It's pretty messed up. I had a friend in college like that, and she constantly chased after this one guy even though she KNEW he was in a serious relationship. I warned her time and time again that she was fighting a losing battle, and it turns out I was right. I guess some women see it as a challenge or "contest" whilethere's also the naieve "farmer's daughters" that don't know any better...But the adage is the same, and still holds true: If he cheats on someone else with you, he will cheat on you with someone else. I personally don't see the attraction to a man who is married/engaged/dating someone else. Eww! No way would I want some other woman's left overs. :P
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (30 October 2013):
 It's sad isn't it? I think a lot of women who accept being the 'other woman' have low self esteem and don't realise that they deserve more. They fool themselves that the man might leave his partner for them, forgetting that he's a cheat. The men aren't innocent in this: I wonder what your colleague says to this other woman in private. I doubt he is quite so frank about his feelings/ intentions (or lack of).
Not all women are like that. I honestly don't know anyone who is dating/ sleeping with a married man or a man who she knows is in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (30 October 2013):
 Alias,
Perhaps this will shed some light. Some girls like to compete. The more of an attachment the man has the more they are proving how attractive they are to pull him away from it.
I know it seems twisted but it happens a lot.
I'm somewhat more worried about a guy who thinks he is earning "man points" by proving that he has no honor.
FA
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