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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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How to get partner to get on with my parents after a disagreement?
Q. I have been with my partner for 9 months, we have a great relationship until recently we went on holiday with my parents. We got on well all of us, or so we thought till we got home and mum started complaining how my partner had changed on holiday ...
A. 20 September 2011: That's good news and I'm glad your mom apologized. That was big of her to swallow her pride.
Thanks for the follow up :)... (read in full...)
Had my teeth fixed and I'm worried my boyfriend will hate it!
Q. I've always had a fairly big gap in my front teeth and my boyfriend said he likes it, it's cute, etc... But I've wanted to get it fixed since I was little, so I finally did. It's really, really, really different looking. My whole face looks totally ...
A. 20 September 2011: "you're already the most beautiful woman in the world. Do whatever makes you happy."
He won't have a problem whatsoever.... (read in full...)
Losing trust... am I over-reacting?
Q. Over the weekend my husband got new parts for his computer. He didn't realize he was going to have to re-install his whole operating system and did so without doing a backup. Once it was too late he said, "I bet I lost somethings." But he doesn't ...
A. 19 September 2011: I don't think he was necessarily hiding it, if he was, why tell you once it was deleted from existence? Its easy to jump to conclusions on this having not seen the photo. You hear "woman posing in underwear", where as from the sounds of things, he ... (read in full...)
I found out my husband wants a threesome and its making me sick
Q. hello, i need sme advice. my husband recently wrote on here asking whether he should ask me if i wanted a 3sum, well him watching me and the girl. It was titled "I have a fantasy about my wife being with another woman. Should I tell her?" He has ...
A. 18 September 2011: I'm starting to see why he came online instead of straight out asking you...
You've got strong morale's and in no way is that a bad thing, but I think you need to step back for a second and cool your head. Fantasies are fantasies for a reason..... (read in full...)
Is this happily married woman looking to have an affair with me?
Q. I am a divorced man and met a married woman through ballroom dancing. She was my partner for a recent dance competition, during which I found myself drawn to her. She enjoys dancing with me, is flirty with me. We do a lot of hugging and holding each ...
A. 18 September 2011: "she informed me that she is happily married and despite the ups and downs she is content with her husband who has been a positive driving force in her life. She understands that dance can spark new feelings and that I just need to keep these in ... (read in full...)
I'm 28 and never had a girlfriend! Now since I finished school and bought a BMW, girls are talking to me now?
Q. Should i welcome each girl that is now trying to talk to me with caution? I'm very skeptical and always have been skeptical regarding women in my life. Now girls are now coming out of the woods all of a sudden asking for things? I got a whole new ...
A. 17 September 2011: I know it looks bad... it plays right into the "shallow, materialistic girl cliche" but honestly dude, it ain't the BMW that's making these women suddenly come out of the woodwork.
"i finally love myself"
BAM!!... (read in full...)
I want to make my boyfriend say "Wow" after sex!
Q. im 19 and my boyfriend is 20. i've been dating the most amazing person for the last 4 months, even though it seems like much much longer to us. I lost my virginity to him, he has had a few sexual partners before myself however. The thing is, i ...
A. 17 September 2011: Oh dear... this isn't the first time you've posted this... You've gotten some great advice here, I'm just concerned that you're doing this all just to hear him say that you're amazing in bed.
Frankly if he's dumb enough to tell you that she's be... (read in full...)
Does this guy want more than a FWB relationship?
Q. Hi evryone I know there are a lot of these types of questions but I really need some good answers not sarcasm I met this man in march I really like him we see each other once or twice every two or three weeks cos he is always busy and so am I I ...
A. 17 September 2011: Better to assume that he means what he says and be pleasantly surprised than to assume he wants more and be bitterly disappointed. ... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance or should I move on?
Q. Hey, it’s me back again (I posted http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-over-a-girl-but-cant-get-her.html) As a summary of that, I was told she liked me at the beginning of summer, but after summer I was told by a mutual friend I’d probably not hav...
A. 17 September 2011: I'll be even blunter... Grow a backbone and talk to the girl. GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER! If this is affecting you so much as to sleep deprive you, then regardless of whether you have a chance or not- I think you should take a shot.
Enough with the... (read in full...)
Can I delete my 'Step Mum' from Facebook ?
Q. My step mother seems to be utterly obsessed with me. She is paranoid that my Dad favours me over her, (we do have a strong relationship but I'm his DAUGHTER not his lover) I was open to her in the beginning when she proposed to him after barely ...
A. 17 September 2011: Just delete her.
If you care about your Dad then all you owe him is to be civil and polite to his wife... whether you actually like her or not is completely up to you. ... (read in full...)
Things are more serious between me and my bf, but he wants sex less, and wants to talk more. why?
Q. Dear all, I have been seeing my bf for around five months now. We used to have sex everytime we saw each other, but now things have got 'serious' between us, he comes over sometimes , and we just talk and he leaves without having sex with me. We ...
A. 15 September 2011: With all that time spent talking instead of having sex, have you actually talked to him about all this?
He's the only one with the answers.... (read in full...)
Is she after me for rights to live in UK permanently
Q. Hi, I have a GF now fiancée, I asked her to marry me, however I am now starting to think after what some people said wither she is after me for just rights to live in the UK permanently as most people from country do this, is there any way I can ...
A. 15 September 2011: Three month relationship, one month of that she was on holidays, then you proposed to get married in a month and a bit...
Am I reading that right?
If I am... are you insane?... (read in full...)
Long Distance Relationship or a dragged on Summer fling
Q. I am a 36 year old woman who met a 30 year old guy in April while we were both out of town on our own respective business. We happened to be staying at a common friend's house. I did not know him before. Sparks flew and we made out of three straight ...
A. 15 September 2011: You like him... you think?
Could he be feeling the exact same way about you?
You both clearly have fun together, but that's the one thing that would be missing if you both became more than just a fling... you wouldn't be together, geogra... (read in full...)
I was her rebound relationship and she married me only because she was pregnant
Q. She was in an intense intimate relationship with a guy the previous year. It ended when he left town apparently to pursue a relationship with another girl with whom he might have made a baby.With her he was very careful. She was on nothing. He took ...
A. 15 September 2011: Not entirely sure what your question is...
Have you always felt that you were second prize since you've been with her or is this a feeling that's cropped up recently?... (read in full...)
Attracted to damaged/broken girls
Q. Ok, at 20 I know i'm young for this whole sort of thing. But i realise i seem to either attract or am automatically attracted to somewhat broken or troubled girls. At first glance. You would not be able to tell (heck, my brain can't tell, if it ...
A. 15 September 2011: I'd listen to the female anon who linked to the co-dependent page... good advice. ... (read in full...)
Everything's great except ...
Q. Hello all. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, it's exciting and always fun. The only "problem" is that he can't cum through me giving him a blowjob. I've had him close several times, but it's like he can't let go enough to actually cum. It...
A. 15 September 2011: "I've told him to just relax and it'll happen in time"
Problem is that's not true for all people. Some guys, myself included just can't finish that way. If I ever do then I'll let you know the secret, but being completely relaxed, time, emotiona... (read in full...)
How to get partner to get on with my parents after a disagreement?
Q. I have been with my partner for 9 months, we have a great relationship until recently we went on holiday with my parents. We got on well all of us, or so we thought till we got home and mum started complaining how my partner had changed on holiday ...
A. 15 September 2011: If your Mom truly wants to get along with him, she'd reciprocally apologize... as she damn well should. Not accepting his apology in the first place was pretty petty and I'm hoping you recognize that you made a mistake in telling your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
He did something he made promise I wouldn't do (after I did it), should I be upset?, and, little things should bother me?
Q. Hi!! I need advice, as always. Yesterday my boyfriend and I had a fight, we usually text or mail each other very early every day, yesterday I had some things to do and couldn't answer any of his mails until afternoon, he hates this and has tol...
A. 15 September 2011: So you have to contact each other to let the other know that you won't be able to contact each other... every single day..?
Seems silly to me, but more importantly... it sounds flippin' IMPOSSIBLE to maintain. Every day... good grief! ... (read in full...)
I have an orgasm hours after I masturbate.
Q. help! okay i need to know why i have late reaction to an organism. like ill masterbate and the next morning ill be havin a organsim during class!!!!!! am i doing something wrong??????...
A. 15 September 2011: Seriously? Intriguing... hmm... so when you do masturbate, do you orgasm then but also later? Does this happen regularly or has it happened just the once?
Sounds like you're just building up a lot of sexual tension when you masturbate and it c... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I'm destined to be alone forever
Q. Ok I am an Aunt on here, but chose to publish anon (I dunno why really?) I have been split up from an ex about 5mths (about as long as we were together) (He was the first sexual relatinship I had in a long long errr long time!) I am struggling...
A. 15 September 2011: Of course you're not destined to be alone forever... what a silly sentiment.
All I can suggest at this point is to put down the love letters and step away. Its hard not to become emotionally charged by such things, regardless of how happy yo... (read in full...)
She slept with someone while we were on a 'break'
Q. My girlfriend and I who have been going out for over 2 years were on a break when she went to college. She said things weren't over and it was just temporary. This past weekend she visited me at college we had a great weekend and had sex. I was ...
A. 15 September 2011: She feels like she cheated- (even though she didn't really).
She's remorseful and feels terrible.
She cut all ties with the guy- (on her own accord I assume).
She told you... she didn't have to... that takes guts.
I say give the girl a... (read in full...)
Can I fall in love at 15?
Q. I've never had this feeling before. This feeling I've been having, is so great, but yet, so strange. I met this guy about a week ago. We started talking and we really hit it off. He asked me to our high school dance. So we've been texting non stop...
A. 15 September 2011: Well it certainly feels like love doesn't it! :) Depends on your definition of love really... see I believe that in order to truly "love" somebody, that you have to truly KNOW them first.
Once you know everything about them, their fears, h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets angry with me for being miserable with him
Q. It is a day before the month we celebrate together with my boy friend for being almost a year and I feel less in love with him and confused. Lately whenever I get sad that something is bothering me he goes from comforting me one minute to total ...
A. 14 September 2011: Sounds like he's bi-polar... either way, if you feel scared, unsafe and unhappy in a relationship- its most likely time to leave.... (read in full...)
My abusive ex-girlfriend has came back in my life, how should I treat her now?
Q. I had abusive girlfriend for 16 months before I ran away from her apartment in June this year. She was 2 years younger than me. Outside, I don’t think there could have been beautiful girl I have to see to date on this on earth like her, inside s...
A. 14 September 2011: Let the slow descent into madness begin again.
Thinking you have any control over the relationship dynamic this time around is a rookie mistake... one you probably should have learned whilst locked up for 3 days...
Ergh... what a depressing pos... (read in full...)
New Love - finally falling in love after an abusive relationship
Q. Hello, I came out of a very nasty relationship just over a year ago, I spent six years being emotionally abused, nothing and I mean nothing was ever good enough about me or what I did. The abuse was constant resulting in me being a complete mess,...
A. 14 September 2011: 95% is still an A+... I'm sure the other 5% will come naturally over time after you've pinched yourself enough times to know you're awake and he's not going anywhere or turning into someone similar to your ex.
Good-luck aye :)... (read in full...)
True or False: Men always think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Q. This is a question for men to answer true or false. If you're female, do not answer. This is an unanswerable question by a woman. Here is the back story, or skip to the bottom for the question. Last night while watching t.v. a character we both...
A. 14 September 2011: Can only speak for myself, but I'd have to say false.
... (read in full...)
Wife got drunk and molested in her sleep at a party. How to put back together the pieces?
Q. I trust my wife, and I truly believe her when she told me it was a mistake. My wife went to a party and drank. She felt too drunk to drive and didn't want to wake me and our child up to come get her. She texted me that she was staying the nigh...
A. 13 September 2011: Oh come on! What a bunch of baloney.... (read in full...)
My husband is very particular about how he likes oral, is this normal?
Q. Hello, I have written in before and gotten excellent advice. My last posting was about a week ago about my mom objecting to the way my husband and I treat each other. We have three kids (biological), 8, 5, and 2, and have the adoption of an 1...
A. 13 September 2011: Wearing nothing but knee pads... hating to be crass, but that's awesome.... (read in full...)
What would you do if you had a girlfriend, but another woman was very loud about liking you?
Q. I think I want to ask this question to guys out there. Lets say you have a girlfriend of 8 months (not living together), you get along well, haven't really had any big problems, you've met her kids, you go on dates every friday and saturday and ...
A. 13 September 2011: Well yeah, what So-very-confused said. Also might be useful to have context on who she is... best friend? boss? random? ex? friends sister?... (read in full...)
How do I encourage my boyfriend to call and text me more often?
Q. It seems I'm always the one to call and text first. I've spoken to him about calling me, but nothing has happened and I don't want to keep nagging him about the same thing. He usually picks up my calls and responds to my messages, and never says no ...
A. 13 September 2011: Good advice niecey! 5 stars!... (read in full...)
I am worried about telling a man I had a boob job in case he is repulsed. How do men feel about breast implants?
Q. Hi, I am going to re-send this question as I have only had one answer and the answer that I did get only gave one - very strong - personal bias. Does anyone feel differently about this issue please? If the woman in question was otherwise a perfect ...
A. 13 September 2011: I'd judge a woman a bit if I found out that she had breast implants, I'm not gonna lie... but it wouldn't "repulse" me, I'd probably still give her a chance.
Your case is different though. You did it to counteract damage from breastfe... (read in full...)
How do I become more rough during sex?
Q. Okay my Agony Aunts, I come back with yet another Issue. My girlfri- well i should say my fiancee have been intimate for a few months now, we've bypassed the friend zone and foreplay and she tells me im not rough enough for her. Now im a genuinely ...
A. 13 September 2011: Just quietly... when you try doggie style, give her a little spanking, just a little tap on the ass to say "who's your daddy".
60% of the time it works every-time. ... (read in full...)
We are dating and I want to know, where we stand...how can I ask him? Help!
Q. I've been going on regular dates with a guy for about 3 months, we know each other through friends for over a year. We are at like 10 dates or so by now. Usually on a weekly basis. He puts lots of thought into them, and almost always insists on ...
A. 13 September 2011: Again... just ask.
Traditional is just an excuse to stay shy and uninvolved... ... (read in full...)
If a girl lets you do things for her, does it mean she likes you?
Q. I met this girl and she asks me to drive her places, and I helped her move. I also help her out by giving her advice. My best bud says if a girl is always looking to you to help her with stuff it means she likes you. I am not sure though. I really ...
A. 13 September 2011: Sounds more like the dreaded "friend zone" if you ask me.. and there's a big jump between friends and being a romantic interest. A few questions... Is she willing to do things for you? Is she shy? Has your friend who gave you this advice actually ... (read in full...)
Is a relationship worth the risk of being cheated on?
Q. I have always had a fear of relationships but what really scares me is if I ever fell in "Love" that I would be cheated on. Ive heard and read stories of people that are in happy relationships and then one day they wake up and realize their partner ...
A. 12 September 2011: Well I dunno... is it worth using motor vehicles given their serious potential to harm us? The reward is worth the risk.... (read in full...)
We are dating and I want to know, where we stand...how can I ask him? Help!
Q. I've been going on regular dates with a guy for about 3 months, we know each other through friends for over a year. We are at like 10 dates or so by now. Usually on a weekly basis. He puts lots of thought into them, and almost always insists on ...
A. 12 September 2011: Just suck it up and ask him.
He's the only one who can tell you where you stand and there really is no fancy way to ask. ... (read in full...)
How do I approach a girl for a date?
Q. so my best friends bad are playing at this pub tonight. the girl i really like is going to be there but she has a boyfriend who is a friend so i want to get her out of my head. i think that cause its a pub i could try and talk to girls and set so...
A. 9 September 2011: Funnily enough Daniel, I actually went to your profile before I replied to this post and went through your articles looking for an "approaching" guide, but didn't find one...
You seem to know your stuff, I think guys would benefit from your wri... (read in full...)
How do I approach a girl for a date?
Q. so my best friends bad are playing at this pub tonight. the girl i really like is going to be there but she has a boyfriend who is a friend so i want to get her out of my head. i think that cause its a pub i could try and talk to girls and set so...
A. 9 September 2011: There're millions and millions of articles about this on the web, I suggest typing "approaching women" into google. In a nutshell though, while you're in the pub: Stand up straight, shoulders back, head up, chest out, feet shoulder width apar... (read in full...)
B/f went to bathroom then couldn't come back and have sex
Q. I'm asking for some advice on something that I don't understand of a sexual nature. (I'm not very experienced) My boyfriend and I were in bed and then he said hang on he's got to urinate, when he comes back he gets going again and then lost the erec...
A. 9 September 2011: It happens from time to time. There's a million different things that can affect erections, differing from person to person. Think of it like this though, rarely does anyone not go through times when they're not in the mood or condition for sex... ... (read in full...)
Am I being overly sensitive because he didn't say sorry for giving me a really bad cold?
Q. I'm casually seeing this guy...he is seeing a few other women - to make a long story short, my best friend is his sister and they live together. She thought he was coming down with a cold, so when we went out and I got him some cold medicine. He ...
A. 9 September 2011: I'm with Tisha on this one... we're not mind readers, we're nowhere near as "tuned in" to body language, tonality and social cues as women are... and we're even crappier at picking up sarcasm or "hidden layers" in text message form. I think i... (read in full...)
My ex is demanding money that he gave me as a gift
Q. my ex and i broke up almost a year ago, however since that time we have remained 'friends' (i say that loosely as its been a very turbulant time, sometimes we've got on and acted like a couple still, other times we argue constantly) he made my life ...
A. 8 September 2011: I'd pay 100 just to avoid the headache personally.
Legally speaking though, he doesn't really have a leg to stand on, cops won't take this guy seriously, let alone a judge. Even if he had proof that it was a loan, its only 100, nobody is goin... (read in full...)
Relationship dynamics: supportive vs. non supportive spouse/partner
Q. I have observed many couples in my life and I am noticing more and more as I get older that in many relationships, there is an imbalance of how one person treats the other which causes tension, resentment, irritation, and disatisfaction. I'm also ...
A. 8 September 2011: "there is an imbalance of how one person treats the other which causes tension, resentment, irritation, and disatisfaction."
You forgot to add the hidden positives, major one being "attraction"... What people say they want and what they are actu... (read in full...)
Am I being overly sensitive because he didn't say sorry for giving me a really bad cold?
Q. I'm casually seeing this guy...he is seeing a few other women - to make a long story short, my best friend is his sister and they live together. She thought he was coming down with a cold, so when we went out and I got him some cold medicine. He ...
A. 8 September 2011: Over-reacting? Well, yes and no. You've got an auto immune disease so it pays to be careful when your life could be put in jeopardy. If you didn't then yeah, I'd say you'd have over-reacted.
First off, you're basing this all on your belief t... (read in full...)
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