A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi evryone I know there are a lot of these types of questions but I really need some good answers not sarcasm I met this man in march I really like him we see each other once or twice every two or three weeks cos he is always busy and so am I I wanted us to be in a proper relationship he just wanted a fwb type he made me think we were a couple for the first couple of month and I went out for a night out with my friends and we were texting but he seemed to be in a mood with me so I didn't text him back after that while I was out then the next morning I got a text from him asking if I met anyone my first question why would he get jealous if we are only fwb he also just comes around for a cuddle off me or comes round to see how I am and also to see my son who's three he went away on holiday for three weeks and as soon as he got back he came to see me not for sex just to see me he has been very hurt everyone he has dated he has told me have cheated on him I wouldn't do that so what do you think these actions mean do you think he wants more I'm so confused by this
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (17 September 2011):
 Better to assume that he means what he says and be pleasantly surprised than to assume he wants more and be bitterly disappointed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone thank you for your great answers no I'm not happy just being fwb I would love to be with him properly but I'm scared if I ask him he will say he is happy with the way things are and I won't see or speak to him again he's ten year older than me but he says it doesn't bother him and it doesn't bother me either
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (17 September 2011):
 wordlywise is right, it's not usually what happens in fwb situations and he has already said that he doesn't want anything more.
However, I was in the same situation as you and also began to have suspicions the guy liked me as more than than fwb because of how he would want to spend time with me, ask me if I'd met someone etc. Eventually I realised I couldn't go on pretending that I didn't want anything more when really I was falling for him. It's like living in limbo. I spoke to him about it and now we've been together 2 1/2 years.
The only way you will know is if you lay your cards on the table and be honest. You say he's been hurt before so maybe he said he didn't want a relationship because then he thinks he can't get hurt again. Be prepared though that he just might not want the same things as you. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): Its not normally what happens in FWB situations. He has made it clear thats what he wants and he doesn't have to take you out or get emotionally attached to see you does he.
Maybe he's friendly cos he likes you, I don't think you can have sex if you don't at least like the person,not regularly.
I would take this slowly, don't just focus on him. He can't expect loyalty when he offers none, you don't know who he sees when he's 'busy' and you aren't answerable to him. Maybe he will commit sometime who knows, but at the moment your just a friend - with benefits.
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A
female
reader, butterfliesarefree +, writes (17 September 2011):
The only way finding out for sure is by asking him I'm going thru something similar myself right now and it feels awful are you ok with being fwb? Its very hard to have sex with someone without developing feelings for them
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