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We are dating and I want to know, where we stand...how can I ask him? Help!

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *osycheeks writes:

I've been going on regular dates with a guy for about 3 months, we know each other through friends for over a year. We are at like 10 dates or so by now. Usually on a weekly basis. He puts lots of thought into them, and almost always insists on paying. (but I've been away a lot through the 3 months too)

Up until the last date, I was thinking, gosh I hope he doesn't talk about 'what we are' as I wasn't ready, but during the last date, I don't know but I just really enjoyed myself, and now kinda am hoping we talk about 'what we are' 'what we intend from our dating' are we a couple or what, as I am making time for him in my otherwise busy life. We have spent 2 weekends together too. So its gotten pyhsical, and i'm now getting more emotional about it.

I don't know how to talk about these things, i'm shy. He is so laid back. Everyone loves him and knows hes not the type of guy who messes people around. So i'm sure he wouldn't mind if I did talk about it. I just want to know where we stand. I've no idea what to do!

I'm going away again this weekend, and don't know whether to meet up this week or not. He usually initiates the prompt for picking the next date, but hasn't yet.

I don't really have much time this week before I go away though. But its just bugging me what he sees the situation as.

View related questions: shy

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A female reader, rosycheeks United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2011):

rosycheeks is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys.. :) I invited him over for a relaxed night, where I can cook for him. He bit my arm off at the invite. I guess that'll be a good setting to have a somewhat chat about where things are heading :) The more I like someone the harder it feels to push for it... But I'll feel comfortable touching on the subject when were relaxed rather than at a fancy dinner night in the city. ahhhhhhhhh.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 September 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI am the man in my relationship. My bf is totally the woman. I said I love you first. I proposed to him (cause he said he wanted me to). I'm older.

Put your heart on the line and take a chance. Yes men love the chase for the most part but SOME men really need to be shown that it's safe for them to reveal themselves.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (13 September 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntAgain... just ask.

Traditional is just an excuse to stay shy and uninvolved...

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A female reader, rosycheeks United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2011):

rosycheeks is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well its just it always been easier in past things. The guy usually has said something by now. I'm sure hes not messing around, but at the same time, I don't want to keep going on dates if its not going anywhere.

I'm worried about asking him now, because I've gotten a little humpy about it as to why he's kept his emotional cards so close. And I cant decide whether to invite him before my holiday or not. I always prefer a guy to initiate these things, i'm quite traditional, and in that way I know its what they wanted rather than feeling pressured.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (12 September 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntthe only way to know is to ask

to not tell him how you feel is to play games. don't do that.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 September 2011):

Honeypie agony auntDTR time, honey ( Define the relationship)

Ask him.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (12 September 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntJust suck it up and ask him.

He's the only one who can tell you where you stand and there really is no fancy way to ask.

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