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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Over the weekend my husband got new parts for his computer. He didn't realize he was going to have to re-install his whole operating system and did so without doing a backup. Once it was too late he said, "I bet I lost somethings." But he doesn't keep overly important stuff on there, so we were not overly concerned.Later that night we were being intimate and after I told him I was thinking of taking sexy pictures of myself to give him. He then says, "Oh, yeah, that's what I lost. You know that girl June? Well, Brad sent me some pictures of her posoing in her bra and panties on a camero, but it was photoshopped to be funny and we were making fun of her." I asked "when did that happen?" He said, "About a month ago, when she was causing all those problems." (this girl is a drama queen who likes to stir up trouble.) That bothered me that for a month my husband had a picture of a girl (who I haven't actually met but he knows through his friends,) in a sexy pose in her underware and he didn't tell me about it (which I think if it was supposed to be a "joke" why hide it?) I've been having this feeling he was being secretive about something and I said that, and he said, "Well, she didn't give me the picture. And oh yeah, I was staring at it for three hours a day (sarcastically)." And I asked what was photoshopped into it that made it funny, and he just kind of growled at me "it doesn't matter it's gone now." I then just said, "I wish you had showed me," because it is true, I would rather him share something like that than keep it a secret, especially since he knows this girl. (And I feel bad for the girl, to be made fun of like that.) I'm not against porn or anything, but I would rather my husband not have pictures of girls he actually knows in their underware, even if it is supposed to be funny. . He has been acting normal since then but I am really bothered by this and I feel like I've lost trust for him. I always trusted him 100% but in the past month I kept thinking he was keeping secrets, (and worrying he was looking at pictures of girls he knows either nude or perhaps in underware), and now I find this out... and I now I feel like "what else is he hidding from me?" Do you think I'm over reacting?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just feel nervous if he has that picture hopefully none of this other female friends have sexy pictures that he has now. I know Brad is a pig and always makes sexual jokes about everything (he even makes jokes about wanting to get my husband pregnant.... which I know is stupid guy stuff....)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Jmtmj. Your advice is always helpful.
It is hard because even though I've never met her in person, I've seen picturs of her online and she is very pretty.... so I can't really understand what as funny about the picture since I didn't see it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): Hi, you are not over reacting. He is your husband and you should be the only woman he sees in underwear! How dare he have a picture of another woman and then go and make love to you like it's no big deal. How would he feel if you had half naked men on your computer? He'd be singing a different tune!
And how do you know if the pic was really there to be made fun of, what is that was just a cover up and he used the pic for other reasons? You should always listen to your gut feeling and if you feel that your husband is hiding something, confront him and let him know how you feel.
If you are suspicious of other things, I would reccomend you keep an eye on him and watch for changes in his behavior.
Hope everything works out :)
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (19 September 2011):
 I don't think he was necessarily hiding it, if he was, why tell you once it was deleted from existence? Its easy to jump to conclusions on this having not seen the photo. You hear "woman posing in underwear", where as from the sounds of things, he just saw it a funny photo that was taking the piss out of an annoying acquaintance.
I get it though, I wouldn't like knowing that my girlfriend had a photo of a guy friend half-naked in a sexy pose... I just wouldn't read too much into it if she told me about it as soon as she was reminded of it. Which is what I suspect happened with your husband... I really don't think it was a secret, though I'd tell him you'd rather not have him in possession of such photos in the future, funny or not.
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female
reader, Piepie  +, writes (19 September 2011):
 I think that over reacting is a woman’s joy and pride in life. I have discovered that guys are way more easy-going then us females and sometimes that makes it way too easy for us to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Now I am not saying that you over reacted, it could be something or it could be nothing. Your husband probably did not think it was a big deal and just thought of it as something stupidly funny. The main thing is he told you. If he was hiding something from you he would most likely refrain from bringing up anything that would draw suspicion to himself. If his behaviour has not changed I would not worry too much but even though it may not have made him concerned it has obviously affected you and you need to resolve it. You must, must, must in an objective manner talk to him about it because this becomes one of those things that you hold inside and will come out later in a negative manner. Tell him that you were bothered by it and it is not something that you agree with. Don't accuse him of anything or tell him what to do or not do, just simply state your feelings. He probably didn't even know that it bothered you but if he withdraws himself from you or he starts accusing you of be suspicious or it suddenly becomes your fault I suggest you seek couple counselling. Just remember when you talk to him don't be accusatory, just simply state how you feel. Then in this way instead of feeling like you’re over reacting and going out of your mind not knowing what to think you will be on your way to a solution. Best of luck :)
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reader, landomando  +, writes (19 September 2011):
I really think your over reacting. Just because my dad has received pictures of his co workers posing with there heads photoshopped on like a really sexy body that doesnt look like them at all or a really young body when they are alot older... I think they are just friends joking around. I dont think he had any reason to tell you because he probably thought it wasnt important. I dont think you should worry and should try to not dwell on it.
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