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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Is there a reason why this guy goes into so much detail about his sex life?
Q. ok, i need answers from guys. this question is hard to explain, but thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and answer it for me.. ok, i am in a long term relationship, and we have very different schedules, so we e-mail very often, actually...
A. 10 April 2011: What exactly are you stuck in the middle of? I'm still slightly unsure what your question is to be honest...... (read in full...)
My hearts in prison, but I'm with my ex and our baby, am I committing a worse crime??
Q. Hello everyone. I haven't been on this site in a while, but now i'm in desperate need of it again. My situation is very unique. I fell head over heals in love with someone I met in my past that i've always loved. The thing is, he's in prison for 1...
A. 10 April 2011: Well... its a risk, but its good that john is out of the picture. More importantly, you're happy... what could matter more.
Thanks for the update :)... (read in full...)
How do I get this boy to like me?
Q. Okay, there is this guy I'm in love with, but he doesn't even like me that way. We used to be really close friends until another girl told him I liked him a lot. He told my friend that he liked me a little but not after that. He is really funny and ...
A. 9 April 2011: It's a harsh truth, but caringguys right I'm afraid.... (read in full...)
I asked him to wear a condom and he was "offended" that I didnt trust him! Now he doesn't want the relationship anymore!!
Q. I first met this guy in summer school...i didn't have any classes with him...but from the very beginning he started showing signs of interest...afterwards I think it was in September when he added me on face book...he kept on commenting on my posts ...
A. 9 April 2011: I wish everybody was as smart as you. Seriously.
If he was willing to jump in a cab over being asked to wear a condom- then he would have jumped in a cab after sex even if you'd said nothing. Trust me on that.
You didn't ruin a chance at... (read in full...)
I have a wife and a girlfriend, who knew about each other. Now, each of them just wants me for herself! What do I do?
Q. hi guys i have a question. i have a wife and as well as a girl friend. so the thing is they both know about me and i even i told them before getting in the relationship. so the thing is they both are now not agreed. so what can i do. u guys can h...
A. 9 April 2011: Well you're gonna have to mate.... (read in full...)
Is there a reason why this guy goes into so much detail about his sex life?
Q. ok, i need answers from guys. this question is hard to explain, but thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and answer it for me.. ok, i am in a long term relationship, and we have very different schedules, so we e-mail very often, actually...
A. 9 April 2011: You guys agreed to be open and able to talk about anything... unfortunately, sex life is a part of that. If you don't feel comfortable with it though, then by all means- just tell him that your not so comfortable with the level of detail. I really ... (read in full...)
How can I match up to all the women he's been with?
Q. I don't know how to deal with this. You see my boyfriend has had many girlfriends before me, and even though we've been together for two years it still bothers me. Knowing all the girls and guys he's been with and that he did sexual things with ...
A. 9 April 2011: The issue isn't about trying to match up to all of them. Each one had their good points and their bad points... and yes, some of them would have been better than you in some way, shape or form... but on the flip side, you are better than them in ... (read in full...)
Am I the only person who believes you should give advice if you have experienced a situation?
Q. I have been a member of this site for a long time and have been reading a lot of the advice that is given. A lot of it varies and not everyone has them same answer which is to be expected. A few aunts or uncles I have been following give q...
A. 9 April 2011: At the end of the day, the more alternative points of view a person gets, the better. Yeah, 16 year old's and such may give advice about stuff they haven't experienced, but you can't say there is no value in a young persons opinion...
They ... (read in full...)
A Greek mythological name for my daughter?
Q. I am 7 months pregnant with a little girl and im having a really hard time finding a name for her since i dont like traditional names much im looking for unique names does anyone have any suggestions. I love greek mythology and dark beautiful names ...
A. 8 April 2011: I second "Selene"... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says I need to give her more space. I am not sure what it means for our relationship?
Q. I'm feeling really down at the moment. I was getting to know a really wonderful girl, and then the last two months things have gone from talking daily, to it appearing like me texting her is a nuisance. She told me we need not speak daily, tha...
A. 8 April 2011: She needs more space, so give her more space man! That's her way of saying that you're being clingy and honestly that COULD be the only problem. It isn't necessarily a mask for another problem... so stop writing down things you could have done to ... (read in full...)
He turned down a handjob, does that mean I'm not good at it?
Q. The other night I was over at my boyfriend's place but since I was on my period we didn't have sex. We still had a good time, went out for coffee and watched a movie. Later in the night I offered to give him a handjob and he said no. His reason was ...
A. 8 April 2011: I wouldn't take it personally. Hand jobs we can do to ourselves and frankly we're always going to be better at it than anyone else on the planet...
Blow jobs and sex on the other hand...... (read in full...)
Without actually asking how do I confirm if he's gay or not? I am gay.
Q. I'm a 14 year old gay guy and there's this guy in my class that i have a crush on But i can't tell if he's gay or not or most importantly does he like me or not? Okay so he is not very girly, but has best friend who's openly gay. And he plays soccer...
A. 8 April 2011: Ahem! What does soccer have to do with it...? :P
If I were you I'd get your friends to ask him, but if he's not openly gay already then there really isn't much you can do about it. Otherwise, just keep talking to him or looking at him for long... (read in full...)
I am secretly dating my cousin. Now her sister is threatening to tell our family about it unless we have sex with her, too!
Q. Ok, My cousin and I have been dating for close to a year without either of our families knowing or finding out. But just recently, her younger sister came forward to us about knowing about our relationship. She's threatening to tell our respective ...
A. 8 April 2011: Hell no.... (read in full...)
I set him a trap, he failed my trap. Was what he did cheating? How can I stop him cheating?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship together for more than four years now. He has never done anything to cheat on me but when i checked his emails, i saw one of his emails saved in drafts saying "I am a single male of 24, what you wan...
A. 8 April 2011: Ever heard of something called entrapment?
"In criminal law, entrapment is constituted by a law enforcement agent inducing a person to commit an offense that the person would otherwise have been unlikely to commit."
Now you've basically... (read in full...)
Just Two
Q. I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A. 2 April 2011: Donate your eyes after death..??... (read in full...)
Why is she behaving like this with her new guy when she never did with me? And will she ever come back to me?
Q. Alright so im new to this but here we go. I dated a girl for a month treated her very well as all my friends said always was there for her. I always sent good morning text's. I left her video messages on her facebook. We didn't get to see each other ...
A. 30 March 2011: Don't be such a doormat! Seriously, the whole nice guy thing that you've got happening right now ISN'T what she's after in a guy. She's got you on a hook, her new guy probably has her on a hook, her new guy is probably on his ex's hook, hell, even ... (read in full...)
How do you approach a guy?
Q. How do you approach a guy that you are attracted to and would like to get acquainted with?...
A. 28 March 2011: Get eye contact with him, hold it for 4-5 seconds, smile or wave, then just walk up to him. Or just bump into him and apologize, hell, just ask him if he has the time.
Time spent over thinking how to approach him is time that could be spent ge... (read in full...)
Does staring equal liking?
Q. There is this guy... He is alwaays trying to joke around near me and everytime i look over in that direction, he is staring at me. Does this mean that he likes me?...
A. 24 March 2011: Staring doesn't equal liking, he could be looking at you because you're looking at him.
However! Its a good sign that he COULD like you. ... (read in full...)
Put your hands up in the air if you agree that studying SUCKS!
Q. Hiyaaaa!!! It's almost end of March and I have the most agony test during the end of May and they determind whether I get in University or not (another word I'm doing my AS) It's bloody annoying because I've lost motivation and whenever I d...
A. 24 March 2011: Put your hands up in the air if you agree that having a shitty job because you didn't study SUCKS!
*raised hand*
Do you know the way in which you learn concepts best?
Do you know the way in which you memorize things best?
What I mean... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I don't like to kiss the guy I'm sleeping with unless we're in a relationship?
Q. I've only been sexually active for the last year and a half, and I've only dated 2 of the 8 guys I've slept with. Nonetheless, I've come to realize that I don't feel right kissing the guy unless we're in a relationship. Is it weird that I put ...
A. 24 March 2011: Didn't Julia Roberts in the movie "Pretty Woman" have a similar rule?... (read in full...)
Should I wait until he makes a move? He's read, but also ignored by message
Q. I use to date this guy for 7 weeks. And I fell in love with this dude and he did too, but he broke it off. because my mom is so over protective. And it sux. I really want to be back with him. I talk to my mom about how she is so over protecti...
A. 24 March 2011: He could have just used your overprotective mother as a scapegoat. Seriously, how many guys actually let their girlfriends mothers get in the way of dating a girl that they really like?
"Stop dating my daughter."
"Yes Ma'am."
When the fr... (read in full...)
Social Anxiety, Vainess, Shyness, Nervousness of girls, intimidation, how do I overcome all of this???
Q. I am a 16 year old guy, I find it soo agitating when people stare at me in public, at school, in the mall, on the bus, when Im crossing the street, etc. What I don't get is why me...???? Am I a creature from outer space that people haven't seen ...
A. 24 March 2011: You're could just be self-conscious, shy and depressed. Either way, it might be best to discuss these things with your doctor.
I will say this though. People look at everybody. Its not just you. When people walk towards and past you, they're ... (read in full...)
Would a girl laugh at my penis when its not erect?
Q. i wondering if my 6-7 inch dick (erect)is big enough to do the job? when its not erect its maybe about 2 inches. i kind of feel embaressed when its not erect. i feel like a girl would laugh when she felt it not erect....
A. 24 March 2011: You're above average so don't worry about your size.
As far as what it looks like when its not erect... well think about it like this. Do people really give a damn what fireworks look like or their canister size before they get launched? Nope, b... (read in full...)
I am a girl and I orgasm really quickly, do boys like that?
Q. Am I normal? I'm a virgin and I'm not rushing into sex with my boyfriend any time soon but we have taken it for hand jobs and fingering and when he fingers me he only does it for a little while and I orgasm straight away, is it normal to orgasm i...
A. 24 March 2011: Marry me.... (read in full...)
Help with bro-code
Q. Need help with the bro-code :S One of my close mates R has a younger brother T and me and T have been flirting quite alot, by that I mean touching, looking at each other and non stop eye contact. R isn't the most comfortable with me being gay but...
A. 24 March 2011: Unless he says its ok, you're breaking the code.... (read in full...)
After sex it takes him about 30 minutes to recover,is this normal?
Q. My partner is 20 turning 21 and after he cums hes penis starts to die and it takes him around 30mins or more for him to have another erection is this normal? or dose he have a problem i don't know for he was my first sexual partner please help...
A. 23 March 2011: That's normal. Guys gotta recharge!... (read in full...)
Do gay guys flirt with straight girls?
Q. So their is this gay guy i work with and I am head over heels for him. We flirt a lot together, but my friend from work told me that he is gay. Now i am just so confused because he was flirting with me, playing with me, tickling me, hugging ...
A. 23 March 2011: Of the gay guys that I know, they flirt OUTRAGEOUSLY with girls... they flirt with girls more than straight guys do I kid you not. As for changing somebodies sexual orientation, sorry but it doesn't work like that. Its not a switch that you can ... (read in full...)
A man always knows whom he wants, right? else why the delay.
Q. My best friend and I have known each other for seven years. He is five years younger to me, though we have never felt the difference in any way. Lately the past year we have been hanging out a lot, almost every other day. Around 6 months ago i ...
A. 23 March 2011: So you think that owning a penis means you never get confused about who you like? It isn't an arrow that points to who we like you know... well it does.. but it still gets confused. :P ... (read in full...)
Why are people so judgmental?
Q. Why are people so judgemental? On here there are a lot of aunts and uncles, who seem to think that because a young questioner asks a question about love and relationships, they need to discourage this young person from being grown up and thInking ...
A. 22 March 2011: Dating for 3 years and wanting advice about whether its a good idea to have a baby...?
Makes a hell of a difference if they're 14 versus 30.
... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my ex-gf acts like she does towards me. Can someone explain??
Q. Hey Dear Cupid people Sorry this is long, but it's a story with many twists! I've never been able to understand girls but my ex girlfriend has gotta be the most confusing. We were together about a year...proper in love she said things li...
A. 22 March 2011: How many times are you gonna ask the same question dude?... (read in full...)
What does a man feel emotionally when receiving oral sex?
Q. Hey guys....I read something once that "Giving a man a blow job is like giving a woman flowers" What kind of feeling does it give a man when she wants to give him a bj? Is it just a feel good sexual act or do you guys feel a connection with ...
A. 22 March 2011: Giving a man a blow job is like giving a woman flowers...
Well yes and no. Yes it is, but not in the way I suspect you're interpreting that saying.
Since we're generalizing, giving a woman flowers is romantic and that's what women want. Roma... (read in full...)
My Ex Girlfriend is playing mind games.
Q. Recently my gf broke up with me (over the phone) to then 3 weeks later have a new bf...we haven't seen or spoken to each other since the break up phone call, apart from... 2 weeks ago I was in her town visiting friends (some mutual and some ju...
A. 20 March 2011: This is at least the third time you've posted this... ... (read in full...)
Guys that don't call often, should a girl mind?
Q. should the girls REALLY mind if dere boyfriend does not call her most often. ? as in 2-3 times a day. does dat mean he doesnt miss her ? or d guys are just like that only ? ...
A. 19 March 2011: 2-3 times a day?! Good grief... 2-3 times a week is my normal amount of contact with my girl, doesn't mean I'm not into her or don't miss her!
Everybody is different, but 2-3 times a day would be considered clingy in my books. ... (read in full...)
Do couples share their passwords with each other or is it a trust issue to deal with?
Q. I have a question about trust. Im having an issue with my bf keeping his password from me. I know its because of trust and im trying to work thru it but with all thats happend its kinda hard to.my question is how many of you share your passwords ...
A. 19 March 2011: When you think about it, what good is having your partners password?
If something underhanded IS going on, they wouldn't do it on an account that you had the password to... they'd most likely have a secret account that you DON'T have a password... (read in full...)
Afraid to get hurt again
Q. - I been in so many terrible relationships , I can't stay in a relationship more than 6months . Sometimes I start question myself and say is it me ? My last relationship was horrible ; for the longest I was juss an emotional wreck . I was inlove ...
A. 19 March 2011: Tried stepping back and being single for a while?
Best to patch up any bleeding wounds before charging back into battle...... (read in full...)
I'm self-conscious about the appearance of my vulva
Q. So, i'm self-conscious about my vagina. It is not my labia it is the skin around my clit. It is saggy and sorta pokes out a tad bit. I did some research, but everything i find is about the labia and that is not what it is. I'm really worried that a ...
A. 19 March 2011: You're perfectly normal and no, your partner won't mind one bit... trust me on that.
There's an odd trend at the moment (apparently) in which some women are getting surgery on their vagina simply to make it more aesthetically streamli... (read in full...)
The guy she cheated on me with is her only friend, I don't want her to lose her friend but I cant trust her with him!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 10 months now, and I am struggling badly with insecurity. My girlfriend had a 'friend with benefits' up until the point we started dating. However, about 6 months into our relationship, I ...
A. 18 March 2011: Of course you feel trapped... you've basically said that you can't leave her, so you'll keep torturing yourself with a girl who clearly doesn't have the loyalty to you that you do for her.
I hope you come to your senses one day.
Good-luck... (read in full...)
The guy she cheated on me with is her only friend, I don't want her to lose her friend but I cant trust her with him!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 10 months now, and I am struggling badly with insecurity. My girlfriend had a 'friend with benefits' up until the point we started dating. However, about 6 months into our relationship, I ...
A. 17 March 2011: Move on dude. You can't trust her because you shouldn't trust her. This is not your insecurity, this is her insensitivity and un-trustworthiness. I'm all for having opposite sex friends in a relationship, but this is NOT a friend. This is an ... (read in full...)
Are guys turned off by girls making the first move?
Q. i met a mutual guy friend and we hit it off really well. we've only been out alone once since but it was very comfortable and he asked for my number and also flirted with me a little. it seemed like he was interested, whether it was dating or just ...
A. 17 March 2011: Read a self-help book and it'll say that yes, guys are turned off by a girl making the first move. It'll also say we love to chase and if we like a girl enough then we'll make the first move, blah blah blah. Garbage.
This has not been my exper... (read in full...)
Is retroactive jealousy caused by my own limited sexual experience?
Q. My wife and I have been married for two years, she's had two previous relationships and a one night stand. I don't really care about the relationships, but the one night stand really bugs me, I keep imaging it in my head and think about it ...
A. 17 March 2011: Retroactive jealousy doesn't just happen to people with limited sexual experience... I've seen people post on here in which guys has been with 20+ partners and their partner only 2 or 3, yet they were still affected by RJ.
Having sex with oth... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like my nude pictures?
Q. Every time I send my boyfriend naughty or nude pictures he doesn't say anything, how do I know if he actually likes them? I am embarrassed, every other guy I have sent them too seems to drive them crazy haha We have been dating for 5 months and he ...
A. 16 March 2011: His silence could be a compliment...?
He could just be "occupied"...?... (read in full...)
He thinks I fake it in bed, when he is actually the best I have ever had! How do I get him to realise this?
Q. dear cupid my boyfriend and i have been dating for a month. i could count on one hand how many times we have had sex and i feel it isnt normal because my past relationships i'd usually lose count after the first week. he tells me he is really ...
A. 16 March 2011: You can't fake squirting and not many women can do it... maybe you could let him know something to that effect?
Otherwise its just going to take lots of pumping up his ego over time for him to start believing you. Or perhaps try initiati... (read in full...)
My hearts in prison, but I'm with my ex and our baby, am I committing a worse crime??
Q. Hello everyone. I haven't been on this site in a while, but now i'm in desperate need of it again. My situation is very unique. I fell head over heals in love with someone I met in my past that i've always loved. The thing is, he's in prison for 1...
A. 28 February 2011: You need to wake up girl.
You can't let your heart guide your actions 100%, nor can you let your head guide your actions 100%. You need a balance.
Right now you're living in a fantasy land and not thinking straight. You can't use John t... (read in full...)
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