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*mtmj

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*mtmj's profile:

A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.

I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...

I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...

So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?

Latest articles:

An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....

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I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!

Q.   Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...

A.   14 July 2011: You're gonna feel mighty foolish when you're found out. You'll lose him, your best friend and your name will be mud. You'll destroy their family and you'll have to live with that. Please don't be an idiot. Don't put yourself in situations w... (read in full...)

I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!

Q.   Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...

A.   7 July 2011: Realistically, its going to play out just as k c100 said. If you're smart you'll listen to her... because he will not leave his wife for you, that much I can tell you without a doubt in my mind. Right now its all about damage minimiza... (read in full...)

Is she committed to me? She keeps nude photos of herself - taken by other men

Q.   My girlfriend and I have (as far as I know) an exclusive, long-term, "committed" relationship. I would, of course, be concerned if my girlfriend kept nude photos of other men on her computer. That's not quite the situation here. In this case she ...

A.   7 July 2011: I agree with person12345. I don't think she looks at the photos and reminisces over the guy she was with at the time as you might be thinking... They were just photos taken when she was younger and sexier (I assume). I wouldn't be worried.... (read in full...)

Sex with a high class prostitute

Q.   Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...

A.   6 July 2011: A hooker is a hooker dude. The only person you have to justify this to is yourself, but if you're gonna be one of "those guys" who brags about getting with hookers then don't expect any slack from people, expensive or not. How does that one line... (read in full...)

He asked me to marry him....do you really think he could've changed?

Q.   So my boyfriend and I( 15 and 17) have been on and off for about 6 months. I never thought me and him could be together when i first saw him because he's all like handsome with blue eyes, and a super athletic body; he plays football and runs ...

A.   6 July 2011: You're serious? This crap has all happened over 6 months. OF COURSE HE HASN'T CHANGED!... (read in full...)

Why do people smoke and drink?

Q.   Why do people smoke and drink and enjoy it? I know this sounds stuck up, but I honestly cannot understand how people can not only enjoy but also become addicted to this nasty-smelling, nasty-tasting, just plain foul stuff... I have been sh**-faced ...

A.   3 July 2011: Cos its fun.... (read in full...)

Are girls really like apples in a tree?

Q.   so...I have a question for the boys here, today I stumbled across this "Girls are like apples in a tree" quote and it got me thinking, are girls really like apples in a tree?? is the whole "the greatest apples are at the top of the tree...(...

A.   30 June 2011: Depends on your perspective... what makes the "greatest apples", the GREATEST? Is it looks? Personality? Both? I looked up the phrase and it seems to be interpreted roughly the same. That boys pick the easy, (sometimes rotten) apples at the b... (read in full...)

When does a guy know that he wants to marry a girl?

Q.   Hi everyone, Background: He and I have been together for a little over a year. I now believe that he is the one I want to marry and spend the rest of our lives together. I have enough reasons to believe this. The thing is, we have not seriously di...

A.   29 June 2011: I don't think he'll freak out if you talk about marriage as he's already joked about it a few times. He'd tip toe around the topic of marriage if he had no interest in it. Just make some playful jokes (hints) about marriage yourself and when the ... (read in full...)

How should I handle my boyfriend's issues with sex and intimacy?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 17 months. We are perfect together - we dont argue, we laugh together, enjoy the same things etc. we live in our own places but plan to move in together at the start of next year. There is just ...

A.   24 June 2011: What the?? What?! Tisha's hit the nail on the head... you don't get over this as he's always been like this, surprised you've stayed with him this long to be honest. I've never ever said suggested this before to anyone, but he sounds almost... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he is getting divorced but his soon-to-be ex wife just moved back in, should I believe him?

Q.   Hi. Some background 1st, I guess would be helpful. I'm 25, my BF is 41 and his "soon to be" ex wife is 35ish. (Not real sure) Anyway they were together 8yrs and have 2 younger kids together (6 and 10). We have been dating just over 6months now ...

A.   24 June 2011: How convenient for him that he has his life so compartmentalized and that you're so willing to just believe whatever he says. Lets break this down: You don't even know if she knows about you. You don't know whether they're still together o... (read in full...)

I slept with another guy while my boyfriend was away, do I tell him?

Q.   My boyfriend has been away on a business trip for 3 months now.He has not been contributing to us finacialy,we have an eleven month old son.I have asked him for help,all he does is tell me stories,am realy upset with him.I dont even know if i still ...

A.   24 June 2011: Its his fault because he has been away for 3 months? Yeah... that kite won't fly with anybody. Now whether or not you tell him is up to you, obviously the right thing to do is tell him. But one thing you really should do is take responsibil... (read in full...)

Why would he be interested in me? He could probably get any girl he wanted

Q.   Hiya guys! im hoping someone will be able to help me. Ok well i am a 20 year old uni student and I have been single for about a year now. Recently I was hurt by a guy who i thought really liked me but ended up just using me. After that i was a bit...

A.   24 June 2011: "would a guy bother contacting a girl for so long just for a one night stand when they could get anyone?" "Anyways we first started talking about 2 weeks ago" Two weeks is not a long time...... (read in full...)

Past sexual abuse has destroyed my relationship.....

Q.   Hello This may be a long one! To cut a long story short I was sexually abused as a teenager 10 years ago. For most of my adult life i had been in denial until last year when i was having counsedlling for an eating disorder. I finally admitted...

A.   23 June 2011: "I dont know if i am being unreasonable or he is being selfish?" Neither really. You're free to take as much time as you want to get over this and as trauma varies wildly in how severely it affects different people, it'd be hard to take anyone w... (read in full...)

Can anyone translate this dream?

Q.   Ok, before I tell you my dream, just know that recently my friends and I dropped two friends who kept causing drama and were really dorky. Don't judge. Also I am going into high school. So i was talking to my best friend (lets call her A) and ...

A.   22 June 2011: Dreams walk hand in hand with the subconscious mind, so they can give you glimpses into things that you desire and alternatively- fear the most. Beyond that, there's not really a lot of substance to dreams in my opinion... So much of it is compl... (read in full...)

Should I try and resolve this, try and save our relationship?

Q.   Right, I'm asking this out of desperation. My relationship is falling apart. I'm sixteen and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months, and suddenly things are crumbling and changing so fast. I don't know what to do. Things are really ...

A.   22 June 2011: People change, people move, these things happen. The number one reason why people have relationships is to be happy... (I like to think we've evolved past pro-creating being the top reason). You're not happy, you don't like him as much as y... (read in full...)

Listen to my head or my heart?

Q.   I need some advice on whether it's best to follow head or heart when making a decision about an unplanned pregnancy, please :( I found out at the doctor's today I'm 2-3 weeks pregnant, unplanned, and a big surprise as I have been taking the contr...

A.   22 June 2011: "I think my bf probably would be happier if I have a termination and try for a baby after a year or two instead." You think he would be happier... don't presume to think you know what he thinks. You've both agreed to think about this individu... (read in full...)

I don't want to lose my boyfriend or my baby! What should I do?

Q.   Hi,well i have been in relationship with a guy for 9 months we get on well we are a 4 hour drive away .Usually we take turns in who goes to who's place and now ive messed up BIG TIME.im 24 he is 36 and a great guy i mean it he even comes to my place ...

A.   22 June 2011: You're not going to have an abortion, so you have to tell him... and ASAP. Here's the thing... You seem to think that he's going to run, but not all guys do this. Some run, sure... but others STEP UP to the plate, they use fatherhood as an oppor... (read in full...)

Am I wrong or am I really a bad person?

Q.   Well this isn't a relationship question really... It's about my dad. He's mentally unwell and uses it as an excuse not to do anything around the house. The bathrooms haven't been cleaned for 3 months and the floors haven't been vacuumed in about ...

A.   22 June 2011: You're not wrong, nor are you a bad person, but sometimes life is unfair and we have to do things we don't want to do in a trade off for things that we need to... I suggest hiring a cleaner for the house- at least to get the house clean initiall... (read in full...)

Pot Head GF choosing weed over me. What can I do?

Q.   ok so ive been going out with my girlfriend for about 5 months now. she has a problem with smoking weed. it is to the point of addiction and don't tell me otherwise because ive seen it ruin peoples lives. i have talked to her three times about this ...

A.   21 June 2011: Are you her boyfriend or her dad? Look, you can't change her, she has to want to change for herself... right now she's happy just having fun. I hate to say it, but either you love her the way she is or leave, because right now she doesn't ... (read in full...)

I have a legit interest in Goth/Emo and am tired of the posers who do it just to fit in. Any opinions on Goth-emo?

Q.   Around the age of 14 I gradually became gothic (almost 17 now). My way of think, the way I view things, and my interests changed and eventually I began to change my appearance. I am in love with ancient gothic art and architecture. I enjoy reading ...

A.   21 June 2011: Wasn't there a south park episode on the whole goth-emo-vampire comparison? Watch it, you'll get a laugh out of it if nothing else.... (read in full...)

How do I handle it when my gf ignores and then hurts my feelings?

Q.   My gf and I are long distance a the moment and we are meeting in august. I'm stressed because I feel like when we aren't on the phone and just texting she acts completely different, almost like an asshole. If I text her long messages trying to get ...

A.   21 June 2011: Why not stick to calling instead of texting when you've got something lengthy to say...?... (read in full...)

I missed meeting this guy but didn't give my number. Should I pass it along through my friend?

Q.   I need help! I am interested in this guy who I have met a couple of times. I rarely see him and do not have much opportuntity to bump into him. The last time I saw him he stopped by my place of employment to see me and we chatted for 30 m...

A.   21 June 2011: Short answer: Do it. It's either be "childish" (not that it is IMO) Or hunt him down in person... "stalker-ish" Hope you run into him again... "naive-ish" Or let your pride get in the way and do nothing..."foolish" ... (read in full...)

Guy insists on kissing me but then admits he loves my friend. Huh?!?

Q.   Dear cupid, I am abit confused, this boy who has liked for about 2 years who always sends me flirty texts with lots of kisses, i do/did have feelings for him but im not quite sure now he makes me laugh and i liked him because he tret me right, b...

A.   21 June 2011: Exhibit a) Player Identifying Features: Persistent Often smooth/charismatic Able to "work" multiple targets simultaneously Flirty and "touchy feely" Can lie, manipulate and deceive ... (read in full...)

How do I get over his random booty call?

Q.   Alright, i'll try to make this short and sweet. During my freshman year in high school i started dating this guy. The first time we dated we dated for 2 months then i broke it off with him because i just wasn't feeling it, but i knew there was ...

A.   16 June 2011: Why would he compare him sleeping with a girl with you hooking up with someone? Were you giving him grief for it? Honestly, you should be angry at yourself... you can't dump someone three times and then get angry at them for sleeping with som... (read in full...)

I would like to be friends with the Japanese family who moved across the street

Q.   Well first of all I would like to say im 19, I have always loved the Japanese culture, food, music, and of course the people. I have always wanted to have a Japanese friend but unfortunately that hasnt happened yet since there are not that many ...

A.   16 June 2011: lol, I love this question. It sounds like you're planning to adopt this poor japanese boy whether he likes it or not. I guess learning to speak japanese would be your best bet... then you'd just have to find an icebreaker, maybe walk your dog... (read in full...)

I've fallen for him but he's not giving me any reassurance

Q.   im female/18 and my boyfriend is 19 Me and the guy i absolutely adore have been dating for the last 3 weeks. it seriously feels like we've been dating for months. Even he agrees. the only thing is, hes started to get a bit weird after the oth...

A.   16 June 2011: Whoah Nelly! Slow down a smidge. It's been 3 weeks... yes, yes, it feels like months... but in the real world its still just been 3 weeks. The way I see it, you've been escalating and speeding up intimacy way faster than he's comfortable with... (read in full...)

Could my friendship be more?

Q.   I've been with the same girl for over six years. It started in high school and I'm beginning to question it. We get along well, but I feel it's more of a friendship than a relationship. I talk to another girl a lot. She seems to be perfect for me ...

A.   16 June 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/seriously-debating-whether-to--break-up-or.html Its a risk you're gonna have to choose whether to take or not. Compatibility is a BIG deal, but there's no guarantee that the grass will be greener on the other si... (read in full...)

He broke my heart, I've cut him from my life, but ...

Q.   How can i get over my ex He broke my heart Iv cut him out my life i.e deleting numbers etc How do i get over the whole crying over him at night when i miss him most?...

A.   16 June 2011: http://www.catchoftheday.com.au/smallfish_info.php?products_id=27999 Seriously though, unless you're a robot, you're gonna have to go through a period of mourning, but as long as you're strong and continue to keep all contact lines with him comp... (read in full...)

My friend says that his approach was wrong

Q.   I like this guy that i met out. But why does my friend find there is something wrong with him saying to let him know when i'm out next, so that we can meet to talk and have a drink? She said that he should of asked me out on a date if he was i...

A.   16 June 2011: Well you're right in that you're not applying silly rules and expectations to the already overly complicated dating scene, full of myths, silly sayings, books like "the rules" and "he's just not that into you", etiquette and social protocols. ... (read in full...)

How do you know if your boyfriend's ex is trying to get him back?

Q.   how do you know if your boyfriends ex is trying to get him back?he always tells me when she has contacted him,and what they talked about.he said its never about them or love,just casual conversation.but-why is it important to have her in his ...

A.   16 June 2011: How do you know if your boyfriend's ex is trying to get him back? Well, you can't. Nor can you know that she's only interested in being platonic friends. As RedAthena said- you can only really go by his actions. "he always tells me when sh... (read in full...)

He is asking my permission to cheat on me (special occasion)

Q.   We are dating for around a year now and we still haven't "done it". Well, that's all just because I can't, my mom is really strict (i mean it) and if she said no in that kind of thing, it means "don't do it or i'll kill you both". Well, he under...

A.   16 June 2011: He doesn't NEED this. He's not going to swell up and explode in a horrific mushroom cloud of jizz. Tell him to go watch porn instead- fair compromise I think... and a hell of a lot more... well... less stupid in every possible way. ... (read in full...)

When it's good, it's GOOD... When it's bad, it's AWFUL.

Q.   Hi! Well, I've been in my relationship for three years, and at times, it's been AWESOME. He does have some outside issues- unemployed, car was repo'd, and still lives with his parents. He's a musician, so he takes gigs as a source of income, and he ...

A.   16 June 2011: Walk away. Seriously. You deserve to be treated better.... (read in full...)

Very conflicted about breaking off a 3 1/2 year relationship

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years, and engaged for 2 1/2 of those, but with absolutely no wedding plans. We started dating when we were 20 and he was/is my very first relationship; I had had sex with other people before that but no ...

A.   16 June 2011: I can understand why you're so conflicted... as its such a big decision and a decision of the heart at that- you really need to look inward for answers. So let me pose you some questions to think about for yourself: http://ww... (read in full...)

How can I trust him when he puts a security lock on his phone?

Q.   I've been with this man for 7yrs which I have experienced everything from cheating, verbally and physical abuse which he say's he has never given me a black eye but tried chokin me twice..go figure!! Which thank god the last time he put his hands on ...

A.   16 June 2011: You're choosing to focus on him putting a security lock on his phone... Seriously? Why are you still with this dude... you won't trust him even if he takes the security lock off, for which nobody can blame you. You can't trust him because ... (read in full...)

Should I get married?

Q.   This is going to sound ridiculous, some of you will probably ask why I am even thinking about doing it if I have doubts. I used to think exactly the same. The thing is, I feel like I have so much to loose if I don't; I get on great with his fami...

A.   15 June 2011: If you're on a train and you see in the distance that the bridge up ahead is broken, do you stay in your seat and convince yourself that everything is fine? Or do you try and jump off the moving train... knowing full well that whilst it will cer... (read in full...)

I did not get pregnant after my partner ejaculated within me. Does this mean I won't be able to have kids?

Q.   Helpppppppp!!!!!... I had unprotected sex with my partner and he ejaculated inside of me in June 5th, i got my period i believe on june 11th. may i not be able to have kids?...

A.   15 June 2011: Do you American's not have sex education in the curriculum...?... (read in full...)

He said he thinks of me as a little sister? Does he fancy me?

Q.   what does it mean he thinks of you as a little sister or does it mean he likes you? btw we are both 16 going on 17. ive known him for about a 3 years he is always flirting and sometimes he acts friendly but idk if hes just a playing or what. an...

A.   15 June 2011: I've used that line many times... its a nice way of saying "we're close friends and whilst I enjoy flirting with you- I'm not coming onto you". ... (read in full...)

I was giving my husband a blow job and my son walked in on us!!

Q.   So.. I was having a rather pleasant time pleasuring my man... yes BJ ... we have been together 20 years - married for 14 and have 2 young children.. 2 and 5 yrs. We had not closed our door as we tend not too because we can generally hear o...

A.   14 June 2011: What can you do but laugh. He's not going to remember anyways.... (read in full...)

Married ex had my name tattooed on his body.

Q.   I am in a serious pickle and I'm afraid I've got myself into it. I was seeing a married man for a few years and broke up a few weeks back. He's been asking me to take him back since but I'm adamant to move on and make something of myself. Hoever ...

A.   14 June 2011: All that proves is that he doesn't have sex with the light on. What an ass.... (read in full...)

My friends played a practical joke which really hurt me!

Q.   okay. my best friend and her boyfriend played a joke on me and all my friends. my best friend comes to me and say he broke up with her. she acted so real. i was close to tears because i care about her so much. after a day he tells me it was a joke. ...

A.   5 June 2011: Pretty tasteless joke, but why are you taking it so personally?... (read in full...)

What exactly is so enticing to a guy about releasing onto a girl's stomach/chest?

Q.   dear cupid, soo, this might seem like a weird question, buuut it's just something that's been on my mind lately. soo, hopefully, somebody on here will be able to answer it. hahaa...anyways...here goes. my boyfriend and i were just about as close t...

A.   2 June 2011: Saves having to change the sheets.... (read in full...)

He has made it clear he doesn't like me, but still takes me out as if it were a date.

Q.   I'll try to keep this brief. I'm 18 and this guy is 20. I was "seeing" him back in Sept/Oct/Nov. We used to go to the movies, out to eat, bowling, etc. And so I thought he liked me, if he was willing to take me out and pay each time. So aft...

A.   2 June 2011: Don't drop the "what are we?" line this time. Just have fun! His intentions will become clear over time and he already knows you like him, so if you go in only looking for friendship this time then you won't be disappointed if nothing more comes ... (read in full...)

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