A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It seems I'm always the one to call and text first. I've spoken to him about calling me, but nothing has happened and I don't want to keep nagging him about the same thing. He usually picks up my calls and responds to my messages, and never says no when I ask to meet up.. but it would be nice if he took the charge in the relationship, ask me out and contact me first. It would make me feel great if he was to check me up and ask how I was. In person he is the most wonderful and loving guy to be with. Communication on the phone is just the issue here.. Are there any steps I could take to encourage him to initiate things?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice! I stopped initiating contact since this weekend, and just yesterday I received a text, in which I replied, then he called! Shall I keep it up by not initiating contact or would that put him off?
A
female
reader, Niecey  +, writes (13 September 2011):
in the future let the man pursue you. then that way you know for a sure given fact that, that is really what he wants and theres no guessing or wondering. it also makes u not look desperate. Men should always come to you, you should never come to them. When iam in public i walk with my head high and eyes straight with a fast pace...why because iam busy and i dont have time...this attracts males. there are rules and tips to everything we do in life and there are especially rules for keeping a man or getting one. you have to know how the game is played and conquered. you follow the rules you get your dream man you stick to them you keep your man. theres rules before u meet a man, after u meet a man, and even after u have him. it all comes along with great self esteem and self confidence, they sense these things right away. there millions and billions of women in the world...but what makes u so different from the rest. what makes him notice you, what makes him want to committ to you and fall head over heels for you (you) and no one else. like i said when im in public i let a man come to me first, if, im even interested and i let him intiate everything from exchanging numbers to phonecalls. i take your number you dont take mines and i will call u when iam ready especially not even the first few days. if you both exchange numbers and hes looking for a pen dont give him one let him search. the little petty things matter...the things in the beginning. anyway im not going to give a whole lesson on this...but basically like i said keep your cool, fall back some, let him do some work and meet u half way atleast and things should come around. if not, if i were u, i would start to lose interest.
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A
female
reader, Niecey +, writes (13 September 2011):
Thankyouuu!! Jmtmj....lol;)
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Good advice niecey! 5 stars!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's been over three months.. I kinda did tell him that girls like to feel wanted, but perhaps I didn't put my point across so strongly.. I've pretty much been pursuing him from the start. He's never been in a relationship, although was married once (arranged marriage - so he didn't have much say in it).. People who know him have told me that he is too laid back and not the type to take much initiative, but when I see him in person, he always approaches me first and that tells me he has potential to use initiative..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): Don't make a problem out of nothing. He's loving and great when you're together, so why not just leave him be and not try to change him??furthermore, if you keep on initiating contact then of course he won't see any need to contact you, why should he if you're gonna be contacting him anyway.if you want him to contact you more, don't do it by nagging him. that's just gonna annoy him and it's kind of absurd to be nagging him to call you more when he's probably thinking what's the point you're already calling him all the time as it is anyway. Instead you need to stop initiating contact. If it means that nothing happens (he doesn't contact you, and you dont' contact him) then so be it. Sooner or later he will have to contact you. then it will be more balanced of a relationship because you're cutting back on your need to call him and demanding he call you on top of that. don't make it his job to change for you. You want him to change, then you change yourself first. Or else if you don't want to change yourself just learn to accept him the way he is and not try to change him either.
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A
female
reader, Niecey +, writes (13 September 2011):
first how long have y'all been dating? And has this always been an issue with him? First off guys always like/love a chase and a challenge even if they already got you. Thats the case with MOST men but i dont know your guy so we cant limit ourselves to just that one conclusiom. One thing i know that men hate is someone who wont allow them there personal space .maybe he doesnt call you because he knows you are going to call him so he doesnt get a chance to. Believe it or not i had that same exact problem with my bestfriend i asked her one day ....why is it I always call u but u never call me? And she said because u always call me lol and that's when I finally realized I never gave her the time and space to do so. After that I stop calling as much and eventually she begin to call me more on her own so now it is a 2 way street and I'm actually surprised at how much she contacts me. If a person knows and is to u constantly contacting them it begins to become like a consistent routine and they are just going to wait for it to take place. Also u don't want it to get to the point where your boyfriend is nervous or scared to tell u that your starting to bother him to much or not give him any space. Give your boyfriend time to miss you when your gone , give him time to think of you or wonder where you've been or what u up to, give him time to recognize that you haven't called or text so he can have the opportunity to get the urge to WANT to contact you himself. Like I said most men like a chase and a independent women more then likely he would probably find you more attractive and yearn for you more. When your on him hes not on you and vis versa thats how the relationship game goes i know from experience he doesnt mean he loves u any less but u have to keep him interested in u thats y so many relationships fail today. All in all what u have to do is really cut back on some of the attention u give and how much u contact him and soon watch how the tables turn . Like i said make him grave you, make him want you, maintain his interest all the way to the wedding altar and beyond....believe me it will work! Goodluck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 "It would make me feel great if he was to check me up and ask how I was."
That's all you have to tell him. When you say he is the most wonderful man, immediately I am thinking he's just passive and clueless, and not withdrawn and disinterested. If you express to him what you like (food, gifts, movie), then he has a better idea planning dates.
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