A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,I have been seeing my bf for around five months now. We used to have sex everytime we saw each other, but now things have got 'serious' between us, he comes over sometimes , and we just talk and he leaves without having sex with me. We just eat dinner, and chat and he goes. then he comes over and spends a night at the weekend, and we do have sex.( once a week) It;s weird, as it did not used to be like this. Do you think he thinks I am using him for sex? or has he gone off me? or is he trying to take the relationship to the next level? or does he want it only when he wants it? or is he trying to show me that that is not all it;s about? I don;t understand. he just leaves without even trying, and when I am affectionate with him on that evening during the week, he kind of pulls away and continues chattingm and its now become a regualar thing. why? Am I to be concerned? Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 September 2011):
 It would seem that he is taking it to the "next level" I would guess, but to really know, you would have to ask him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo performance issues. the guy is usually sex mad!! thats; what;s weird about it. he said he wnated to come and stay with me on friday ( that;s the night we usually have sex, and he stays over), but somehow he is now limiting it to once a week. the bond between us is way to strong for it to have slowed donw as such, because on friday nights, it;s back to full on sex. I dont; know how to bring it up without looking desperate. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I haven;t .. as I dont; want it to look like I am asking him or being needy for sex. it just seems odd that he has taken on this new behaviour when we sued to have sex all the time, and I am a bit concerned that he wont; take things to the next level. eg: seeig each other more. I have tried talking to him about this, but nothing really changes, and ow we only spend one night at the weekend togeher, and the evening we spend during the week, he comes over , talks anbd leaves, and it never used to be like that. Not saying it;s all about sex, but the relastionship is not progressing, yet he tells me that he loves me over and over again, so I sent him a text today telling him, that it;s not enough for me, and we need to sttp things up. I love him and miss him so mcuh and have told him so, yet he takes two steps forward and one back. why? x
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 With all that time spent talking instead of having sex, have you actually talked to him about all this?
He's the only one with the answers.
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (15 September 2011):
 Have you tried talking to him ?
I don't thinkits strange it's slowed down, it does happen to some couples after a few months - in my current relationship I can't ever see it slowing down but I'm sure it will eventually!
Is it possible he may have some performance issues? Or that he's just tired after work?? I think just some communication between the two oc you should resolve any issues
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