Like what
he writes?
... Add *mtmj to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *mtmj a private message | | | *mtmj's profile:
A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
|
|
| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
|
Am I being overly sensitive because he didn't say sorry for giving me a really bad cold?
Q. I'm casually seeing this guy...he is seeing a few other women - to make a long story short, my best friend is his sister and they live together. She thought he was coming down with a cold, so when we went out and I got him some cold medicine. He ...
A. 9 September 2011: I'm with Tisha on this one... we're not mind readers, we're nowhere near as "tuned in" to body language, tonality and social cues as women are... and we're even crappier at picking up sarcasm or "hidden layers" in text message form. I think i... (read in full...)
Relationship dynamics: supportive vs. non supportive spouse/partner
Q. I have observed many couples in my life and I am noticing more and more as I get older that in many relationships, there is an imbalance of how one person treats the other which causes tension, resentment, irritation, and disatisfaction. I'm also ...
A. 8 September 2011: "there is an imbalance of how one person treats the other which causes tension, resentment, irritation, and disatisfaction."
You forgot to add the hidden positives, major one being "attraction"... What people say they want and what they are actu... (read in full...)
Why is my partner ringing his ex in the middle of the night?
Q. I have been with my partner for over 2 years and our wedding is booked. He owns a house with his ex and is in the process of selling it. She has been a nightmare through the whole thing and we have had to go to court and all sorts. Finally she is ...
A. 8 September 2011: How do you know that he rang her in the middle of the night?
Did you go snooping?... (read in full...)
Why did he tell me he liked the head massages I give him and then go get one elsewhere?
Q. Hi, I would like you aunts opinion on this please,and if i'm being silly and just over reacting. I have been in a relationship for over 7yrs with the same man, he always tells me how good he feels when he is with me,and how relaxed he is when i g...
A. 8 September 2011: Are you a professional masseuse?
If not then yeah, you're being silly.... (read in full...)
Are his different ways of saying "I love you" ways to show that he's playing me?
Q. Hi, um.......I know that this topic may seem irrelevant or small but honestly I just want some opinions. My boyfriend has been with me now for 2 years this coming september 27th. All this time he's been showing his love with his actions which I ...
A. 8 September 2011: So hang on a minute... anything and everything can be abbreviated in text by youngsters into some sort of insane scribbledeegook one might find covering the cell walls of a mental asylum... EXCEPT the phrase: "I love you" has to be kept in its ... (read in full...)
Am I being overly sensitive because he didn't say sorry for giving me a really bad cold?
Q. I'm casually seeing this guy...he is seeing a few other women - to make a long story short, my best friend is his sister and they live together. She thought he was coming down with a cold, so when we went out and I got him some cold medicine. He ...
A. 8 September 2011: Over-reacting? Well, yes and no. You've got an auto immune disease so it pays to be careful when your life could be put in jeopardy. If you didn't then yeah, I'd say you'd have over-reacted.
First off, you're basing this all on your belief t... (read in full...)
UPDATE What can I say to get a conversation going?
Q. Hello again, everyone. I posted a question on here on the 5th July this year. Briefly, I was running into a woman on the journey to work every day and did I think she was the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen? Yes! The question I asked was, as ...
A. 6 September 2011: If it wasn't 4am over here I'd stand and applaud you loudly fine sir.
Thanks for sharing! :)... (read in full...)
My sister got pregnant and now my mother accuses me of being selfish because I don't want to help her raise her grandchild...
Q. My sister had a baby out of wedlock a few months ago and where i come from it is shunned upon. though it is common nowadays in this country people still look down at those who have bastard children. my sister went on for years of abuse towards me ...
A. 2 September 2011: Stand up for yourself woman! This is not your responsibility! You make up your plans, then you tell your mother what they are... don't let her guilt trip you or compromise, this is your life and you need to be assertive right now to keep it that ... (read in full...)
I caught my girlfriend cheating, but I still love her
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 years. She was my first everything and we loved each other so much we didn't go a day without each other. we had a very strong relationship. I never talk to any girls once I met her. I didn't really ...
A. 2 September 2011: What you have right here is irrefutable proof... and no doubt traumatizing proof at that.
You're not seriously going to chase her... right?... (read in full...)
She doesn't treat her boyfriend right, do I warn her she might lose him?
Q. Here's the situation, I probably shouldn't meddle, but I'm wondering if I should give my friend a few "words of wisdom" about how she treats her new boyfriend. Now I know, let them sort it out on their own. But maybe a few words of advice would ...
A. 2 September 2011: She's going to get fed up with him long before he gets fed up with her I suspect... Of course he notices and indeed minds when she does things that he thinks aren't necessarily fair, but if I had to place my bets on this one- he's just repressing ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to meet for coffee. Good or bad idea?
Q. So basically my ex and I broke up 5 months ago. He has a new girlfriend but he still wants us to be "friends". I have feelings for him still and he wants to meet for coffee. Do you think it's a bad idea?...
A. 2 September 2011: Hell yes.... (read in full...)
Should I tell him his fiance is cheating?
Q. I've recently started a job that placed me in a friend of a friends home as a housekeeper/caregiver, full time. my employer (let's call her S) is just a little older than me and engaged with 2 children. her fiancé, J, is away working often for weeks ...
A. 30 August 2011: You've got a conflict of interest here, I'd stay WAY away from this one. The messenger has a nasty habit of getting beheaded in situations like this, not to mention the fact they employ you... and you don't sound like you have irrefutable proof ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my guy's parents about his behavior?
Q. Hi My boyfriend seems to have anger management issues and I was wondering how would I teach him that acting agressive towards a woman is wrong? I had considered telling his parents or perhaps letting it be known to a few of our friends but then...
A. 30 August 2011: Going to his parents or your mutual friends will not end well. What exactly has he done that makes you so concerned? Does he physically touch you at all?... (read in full...)
The woman I like has a boyfriend but said she likes me. What should I expect?
Q. I need a little help deciphering what happened when I went out last night. So here is the quick run down... My friends and I went out to a local bar/club and I met this beautiful woman. Everything seemed to be going great. We danced a couple ...
A. 29 August 2011: Time will tell.... (read in full...)
Reading other's texts--snooping? or confirmation?
Q. I am curious to know what other people's opinions are with reading each others texts when you should have nothing to hide? I seem to look at the topic from anoter point of view or maybe I am just right?? help ...
A. 29 August 2011: Snooping is never healthy and its never a right. It's a partnership, not a prisoner/warden relationship.
I have nothing to hide, but does that mean that as soon as I date someone that they automatically have the right to snoop? Absolute... (read in full...)
How can I play hard to get with my steady boyfriend?
Q. Every guy and girl says they 'don't want to play games' but I've been learning more and more that everything is a game, ESPECIALLY relationships, and the moment you stop playing - you lose. Anyway, how do I do it successfully? Play hard to get...
A. 29 August 2011: I typed in "how to play hard to get" into google and came up with a tonne of websites... use at your own risk.... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my wife about her hygiene without offending her?
Q. Hi, My wife's let herself go of late. By this I mean she could shower more and cuold shave more often. How do I bring this up? There have been times when getting intimate has been tough due to smell. I always ensure she orgasms and really en...
A. 29 August 2011: I think jmc930 raises the most crucial point, being that you not talk to her about this while you're in the moment.
Not too sure if asking if you can do anything to improve you're own hygiene is the best move, but then again I can't think of... (read in full...)
How can I play hard to get with my steady boyfriend?
Q. Every guy and girl says they 'don't want to play games' but I've been learning more and more that everything is a game, ESPECIALLY relationships, and the moment you stop playing - you lose. Anyway, how do I do it successfully? Play hard to get...
A. 29 August 2011: "I want HIM to be the one making all the plans and calling and texting sweet little things hoping to make me happy, what can i do?"
You talk to him, you tell him how much you love it when he does these things, but the important thing is to not m... (read in full...)
Should I avoid befriending single men in case I give off the wrong impression?
Q. Hi everyone! I'm in need of some advice. I recently graduated from university and have been quite busy with a new career and new hobbies. I spend what little spare time I get with my family and friends. So having a boyfriend isn't at the top...
A. 29 August 2011: When a guy says to a girl that he's not looking for a relationship, generally speaking, it means he's open to anything other than exclusivity... but a lot of the time its just the most polite way of working up to suggesting a friends with benefits ... (read in full...)
I dreamed of having sex with fat men
Q. For two nights I dreamed of having sex with 2 different fat men. They were of average attraction and one a doctor and the other a celebrity. Both were of different race. Can you tell me what this means?...
A. 25 August 2011: A fat Jedi's mind trick?... (read in full...)
I lied about my age to this guy by a mistake help..
Q. I got this messager, and you know how they ask you to set your age? Well I didn't set my birthday or anything I just pressed NEXT. So, I made the account and became friends with this guy who's 19 but, he thinks I'm 18! But I'm really 17. I told him ...
A. 24 August 2011: It was a mistake, just tell him. There's no fancy way to do it.... (read in full...)
I don't understand why the law dictates the age you can have sex
Q. Why does the law dictate when people can have sex? It doesn't make sense. If two people are both underage and have sex, are they seriously going to go to jail? Who would call the police? Why is it so bad that they needed to make a law about it? And ...
A. 24 August 2011: For the same reason that minors who commit crimes are treated more leniently by the law. They've got less life experience and therefore less judgement than someone of adult age, generally speaking. The law would be hypocritical if it allowed ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to stop drinking
Q. I really need help ,my boyfriend loves drinking and I want him to stop because I care for him I tell him"please stop drinking for your own good or im going to break up with you!" He doesn't listen please help if he still keeps drinking he's going to ...
A. 24 August 2011: Honestly... you can't. He knows your feelings on his drinking, you've given him an ultimatum which he's dismissed and will continue to dismiss. So I guess the only thing you can control in this situation is your choice to continue dating him...... (read in full...)
Why did my boss do that? Is it a sign of love?
Q. hi,im an accountant in a private company.my boss was four grades senior than me and he looked very appealing and warm all the time...its been 6 months I got my job there. yesterday my boss sent me a message asking me to come to his cabin..it wa...
A. 24 August 2011: You went from 0 to 100 in a few hours... sorry to say, but that's lust. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in thinking that my husband should have backed me up when I needed it?
Q. I am a nurse and about 10 months ago I was mildly assulted and bullied at work by another nurse with no witnesses. I wrote up this nurse and turned it in to my HR and to my nursing director. Nothing was ever done I was never supported they just bru...
A. 19 August 2011: Ironically, protecting you may have been just what he was doing... just depends on how you look at it. Going and screaming at your boss doesn't seem like protecting to me, that just seems silly and counter-productive. I'm sure if he felt you were ... (read in full...)
Why do people think its okay to berate women who sleep with married men?
Q. I'm so fed up reading people taking the moral high ground on every topic, especially that of married cheats and 'home wreckers' There is so much contraversy surrounding cheating at the moment on this site and I would like to express my views as...
A. 17 August 2011: So people should be respectful to home-wreckers' feelings, even though they're not showing the same respect to the married partner of their lover... grow up.... (read in full...)
Could I have been writing my future on the wall?
Q. Well the thing is I have been obsesed with writing the letter D on walls with my finger for like a year when im nervous r anxious then it makes me feel relieved but last week i met this boy whos names tarts with 'D' and we clicked righ away , he ...
A. 17 August 2011: You find meaning where you look for it.... (read in full...)
How can I make sure my lover's wife found out about us without him knowing I did it?
Q. I am having an affair with a man from work. I am single, he has been with his partner for about 5 years and they have lived together for one or two years. We worked very closely together for over a year. he had feelings for me throughout this ...
A. 16 August 2011: Unconscionable!! Though it is good to know that if I ever decide to go all Hugh Hefner in my old age that the world is still producing a healthy supply of idiot bimbos. ... (read in full...)
My gf has only had black friends, wants to adopt black kids, and generally loves black people...and I am feeling insecure because I am white.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a month. We are both 22 years old and have already talked about what we want out of a relationship. She has made it clear she has a passion for black people. She wants to have a black baby either by ...
A. 16 August 2011: This relationship has an expiry date... sorry, but she's got issues... If her life was represented as a Join-the-dots picture, you'd be represented by the squiggle on the side of the page where she tried to get the pen to work.
You're just not... (read in full...)
Unexperienced boyfriend is making me feel bad about wanting oral sex
Q. Hi, aunts and uncles! Should I be offended by my boyfriend's bedroom etiquette? My boyfriend is a bit immature. He is 21 and I am his first serious girlfriend. Before me, he was a virgin and just lost is virginity last week. So, I've been trying...
A. 15 August 2011: Not to belittle what you've said, but come on, he did just lose his virginity last week... these things take time, he's gonna make rookie mistakes, especially in the bedroom- so you're gonna need patience with him for a while. I'd just give it a ... (read in full...)
This man has too many women circling around him!
Q. Hi, I met a guy on facebook and we chatted for several weeks before meeting up. We began a relationship, taking things very slowly as we've both been hurt in the past - this was several months ago. I've been spending more and more time at his house ...
A. 15 August 2011: He's an ego feeder... in a BIG way. I think the annon M is clued in on this one. ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to not talk on the phone?
Q. Are there any couples out there who never have conversations on the phone and are okay with it? My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year and we've only had one conversation on the phone. The other times we've talked on the phone were j...
A. 10 August 2011: Yup. My girlfriend and myself hate talking on the phone. I find it uncomfortable not being able to see the body language and facial reactions of the person I'm talking to, so conversation just seems awkward. ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 6 August 2011: Porn ain't going anywhere and there will always be a majority of guys using it. So you can chuck a tantrum and lecture an entire gender, or you can accept what you can't change and focus on the things that you can. ... (read in full...)
I want to feel loved. How to tell him? I am very happy with him but the lack of affection is bothering me
Q. Ive been with a wonderful man for the past 6 months now. We are both mature and are generally happy. He gives me the respect I deserve and I dont have much to complain except, he lacks affection (he isnt a selfish man if you see where I'm coming...
A. 5 August 2011: Has he made any moves forward in the 6 months you've been dating him? Even baby steps? Cos if he's been the same way the entire time, sorry to say, but that may just be who he is.... (read in full...)
I've got a girlfriend but I miss my ex SO MUCH
Q. I have a girlfriend at the moment, but that isnt the problem. The problem seems to be that I have been very depressed lately over my ex, I have been dating my girlfriend that I have now for 5 months or so.. and my ex... I miss her dearly. we ...
A. 4 August 2011: It's also a stupid illogical muscle.
You're idealizing her dude. You're forgetting why it didn't work and daydreaming about the times when it did. Write out a pro's and con's list if you have to, then when you remember how things ACTUALLY... (read in full...)
I want to draw a nude woman (not for sexual reasons), but I'm afraid to ask
Q. I am an 18 year old art student, and far from sad or weird. What I have always wanted to do is draw an undressed girl live, preferably someone I know, but have never had chance to do it. I want to ask someone, but am afraid of sounding creepy. Would ...
A. 4 August 2011: Titanic does have its moments.... (read in full...)
I have lost weight and my breasts look terrible! Help!
Q. Please, i have this problem that is bothering me so much. It may only be aesthetics but its really getting my down. I have always had big breasts, although they have always been in proportion to my frame. They have never been pert, nor have i ever ...
A. 4 August 2011: Boobs are boobs, we love em. Stretch marks? If a guy even notices, 99% are just not going to give a damn. Seriously.
We're much more likely to give a damn about the bra staying on... Most guys will be understanding about your insecurity for a wh... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a relationship, but still wants to see me and have sex. Am I wasting my time with his guy?
Q. Any advice would be much appreciate. I am a single mum of one. I've been seeing a guy nearly a year now, in the begining everything was fine between us, had an amazing time and connected very well - physically and mentally. He lives a 1 hour f...
A. 4 August 2011: Not even I can justify defending this guy.
You're wasting your time with him, please be smart and realize that he's just in this for the sex.... (read in full...)
My wife left me whilst I was away in Iraq and all she left was a note saying 'I'm sorry'!
Q. I just returned from Iraq on leave today to find my apartment empty. My wife took my son, my dog, and emptied my bank account...The one thing she left was a note on her side of the bed with her wedding ring was a note that simply said "I'm sorry". ...
A. 4 August 2011: I'm not sure if its comforting or in poor taste to say this, but at least you made it back alive. You're young, you have a chance at a fresh start, to find someone better, to rebuild your life... you've been handed a rough deal, but you've got the ... (read in full...)
My wife left me whilst I was away in Iraq and all she left was a note saying 'I'm sorry'!
Q. I just returned from Iraq on leave today to find my apartment empty. My wife took my son, my dog, and emptied my bank account...The one thing she left was a note on her side of the bed with her wedding ring was a note that simply said "I'm sorry". ...
A. 4 August 2011: Holy crap... that's the most shocking thing I've heard in a long time. What can you do? Well you've just got back from Iraq so get some booze, meet up with friends and just go nuts. Have a night where you can vent and forget.
After that... ... (read in full...)
Does this seem legitimate? Is she being honest?
Q. i've been seeing this girl for about a month now. we met and instantly hit it off. we both had just come out of really bad relationships. mine a two year relationship where my ex constantly cheated on me and lied to me, and hers a physically and ...
A. 4 August 2011: Well, obviously we're not mind readers. She may be totally legitimate and honest... she may not. So we can only really speculate based on our own experiences. So here's my opinion, (but please! take it with a pinch of salt), I don't like ... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off to have sex on your period?
Q. Hey, know this is a weird question but if u have sex with a boy when your on your period is it a turn off ? ...
A. 4 August 2011: Major turn off. Just being honest.... (read in full...)
| *mtmj's friends
These are mutual friends, so *mtmj has
added them and they have added *mtmj!
|
