I'm 13 and attracted to a 20-year-old, but I don't understand whether it's a crush or what...
Q. I am 13 years old. There is a girl (well she is about 20) and I am not sure how I feel about her. I just feel if she knew that I liked her and accepted it I would feel so much happier and the feeling which I have when I see her would be lightened. ...
A. 13 February 2006: You sound very mature for your age, thus im sensing thats why you're attracted to this particular girl whos much older than you are. I think you shouldnt just shunt off your feelings for her completely (as thats not healthy either), but neither ... (read in full...)
I read her message and now I feel like I can't trust her as much as before...
Q. I was writting a message on my girlfriends mobile phone and accidently erased it. When I tried to find it in the "saved msg's", I came across a message she had written when she was apparently drunk. The message read: Is it bad that i'm still ma...
A. 9 February 2006: Two choices here and its very obvious to see what they are. Your either make a go of it and start trusting her completely (regardless of whether she really does still like her ex bf or if its a thing of the past as she claims it is), or walk out of ... (read in full...)
He stares at me like a challenge, says things to get under my skin. What's that about?
Q. Alright, I need to get to the bottom of this guy. Im 22, he's 25. He's a friend of my friend, and we hang out on occasion. I know when a guy likes me normally, but for the life of me, I cannot figure this one out. I know guys do that thing where ...
A. 9 February 2006: Right, heres my two cents. I dont know him but correct me if Im wrong, this guy has a strong character. He likes to to have things his way, he thinks he knows it all and he likes to prove people wrong if he can that is. If you ask me, I think he ... (read in full...)
My wife stops me from seeing my family and friends. Should I leave her?
Q. I have been married for 5 years now, with my wife who I have known for 6 Years. Throughout this time, we have had more ups and downs than a roller coaster. My wife is constantly stopping me from seeing friends and family. It started out fine but ...
A. 9 February 2006: My my, talk about being controlling!! I feel that its only fair if you know that judging from your post here, you are the victim...so please STOP laying yourself on a guilt trip here. Shes been using your children and your love for her as an excuse ... (read in full...)
We think it's time to meet, and want to be together. Why won't my parents let him stay with us?
Q. Imagine I am your 18 year old daughter... I have been chatting to online/dating a 48 year old for 34 months, and we want to meet for the first time. We both love each other (we really do!) but dating over the internet is too hard for us, and we n...
A. 4 February 2006: Right, I see its almost impossible to make you change your mind about meeting up this guy and letting him stay in the house, seeing as uve already made ure mind up!! Well, fair enough, but whatever it is, just be on top of ure toes and stay aware of ... (read in full...)
We think it's time to meet, and want to be together. Why won't my parents let him stay with us?
Q. Imagine I am your 18 year old daughter... I have been chatting to online/dating a 48 year old for 34 months, and we want to meet for the first time. We both love each other (we really do!) but dating over the internet is too hard for us, and we n...
A. 3 February 2006: Hi, as far as your parents are concerned, I really think its normal theyre reacting this way. Lets turn the tables around, would u allow some stranger your daughter claims to have met over the internet to bunk over in your house? Your parents are ... (read in full...)
I have cunning plan to get back with my ex-girlfriend... Tell me: Will it work?
Q. I submitted an inquiry about my girlfriend of 2 and a half years breaking up with me. She said "I don't think I can rekindle the feelings I once had for you, no matter how much you change." But I am determined to prove her wrong. I have thought very ...
A. 13 January 2006: No, let me tell you why i think it will not work. First of all, and this is the most important rule in a relationship, you can never ever make a girl like you if she is in fact not interested. Anything, said or done would only be a waste of time, ... (read in full...)
He wants me to stay but I could go to university...what do I do?
Q. Please help, my boyfriend and I have been planning to go to University together for over a year, we're now accepted to the same university and looking for houses, and yesterday he told me he's not going and wants me to stay with him, I know I will ...
A. 13 January 2006: Love is a very enchanting thing, no doubt and you know you will do anything to make it work with this guy of yours, which is a good thing. BUT, when it comes to sacrficing your future or something you know deep down is best for you, it really is not ... (read in full...)
Using a condom makes me lose my erection and it's happening every time!
Q. I'm a 24 years old guy and I have a 25 years old girlriend. Nowadays I'm going through a stupid funny thing which is becoming a very annoying thing. I had a very much normal erection but whenever I wore a condom and when I get ready to insert m...
A. 4 January 2006: Its the masturbation I tell you. I know friends of mine who have that problem because they masturbate like everyday. Try this, stop masturbating for 3 to 4 days and then initiate sex with your gf after that. You should be fine Im quite certain. ... (read in full...)
In love with my housemate. Should I wait for him to figure it out?
Q. Hi everyone. My problem is that I am in love with my housemate. A few nights ago I thought he knew how I felt because he apologised for upsetting me when he kissed another girl when we were out. Now he's going out with her, and I want to tell him ...
A. 19 October 2005: Hi there, I think I am in a position to give you advice on this as I am in that position myself. Well, kind of as this is the post relationship problems that im dealing with right now. We were housemates before and somehow, 5 months down the line ... (read in full...)
We're really in love, but our parents don't know about it!
Q. Hi I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 18. I want to start this off by saying yes, we are sexually active and we both dont see why age matters so much. We are both in love; I mean real love! Some say why is he into a younger person and why am I into an ...
A. 11 October 2005: Hi lewdness, I think you were a lil bit too harsh in saying that your parents would freak out because they dont understand what true love is. Well, Im sure they do thats why they're together. And also, Im sure they have been dating so much other ... (read in full...)
My heart and mind conflict about whether to break up...
Q. If your mind tells you that you want to break up but your heart tells you that you love them...which do you choose?...
A. 11 October 2005: You have to realise that at the end of the day, whatever choice you make wont be right neither wrong. Its what you make of it. I mean think about this, who will ever know that if a choice was made, that the other one wouldnt have turned out fine if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so cold that I'm becoming depressed.
Q. Why cant he just show me he cares? Help me, I love my partner but I feel we will be over soon - if not already. Certain events have happened during the course of the last year to cause me to be insecure and depressed. The problem is - he ju...
A. 11 October 2005: Oh dear, it looks like you're in a very difficult situation here. Your man's treating you like crap and yet you 'have' to put up with it just because you love him so very much. I know this is something you dont want to hear but this guy's walking ... (read in full...)
When I want sex, I want it immediately!
Q. I am a woman that likes to have sex with her husband about 1-3 times a day and sometimes I don't even want to have sex on certain days, but when I want sex, I would like to have sex right then. But he wants to wait a few hours sometimes. What should ...
A. 7 October 2005: 'I don't let nobody have any peace to do anything until I get my sex.'
Lol...you're so cute. The way you said it makes me laugh. Well well, I think when you dont have it right away, you tend to have that frustration in you. Well, fair enough b... (read in full...)
I've told my boyfriend the truth now, but he still thinks I'm hiding things and lying to him!
Q. I just met my boyfriend about three months ago. We met on-line on a singles dating service. We started dating seriously after two weeks but before we started dating I told him that I had lied to him about the number of sexual partners I had in my ...
A. 6 October 2005: 'I really love this guy and connect with him on everything else except for my friends'!!!
That statement alone says you dont connect with him at all!! If he doesnt get along with any of your friends, what sort of connection is there between ... (read in full...)
What is it that my girlfriend wants? If it's me, why does she have these hot and cold cycles?
Q. Dear Cupid: After spending the past 18 months of my life recovering from to deceit filled relationships. I have found someone who I love. However, I am wondering if her feelings for me have changed from when we first met. We had known ea...
A. 6 October 2005: Couldnt have said it better myself, dangarwe. ... (read in full...)
Why would he break up with me as a girlfriend, if he wants me to "wait" until he's ready?
Q. Alright I was with this really great guy, :wub: my first boyfriend, but I started to notice that he was falling away from me and then he just up and dumped me. :( Now he never really talked to me on the phone which I understand. I'm not that much of ...
A. 6 October 2005: You know, deep down inside you you already have the answer to your question. Im sure your feelings towards him is leaning either towards him or against him, and only you know that. But judging by your reason to post this question, your confusion on ... (read in full...)
No more joking and fun, my boyfriend's gone all obsessive about me...
Q. Help me. I have been with my bf for 1 month now and I feel like he is suffocating me. Everything was going really well until last weekend. He said he loved me. Ahhhh... I feel he has changed and he is no longer jokey with me and he is all ...
A. 6 October 2005: Just tell him you're not looking for a boyfriend, you're looking for a fling. Tell him you dont want love and commitment, you want fun with no strings attached. He'll pretty much understand what you're trying to say by then! ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to ditch the "toxic" friend who hates my boyfriend?
Q. I have a bit of an issue. My boyfriend, N, and I have been together a little over a year and we are very happy. However, my (male) friend, R, does not seem to be happy with our relationship. R seemed supportive at first, but would do toxic things ...
A. 4 October 2005: You choose who you want to be friends with. If you feel this R guy is a little bit too psycho in his attempt to get you (Also may I add I feel this guy is quite the annoying type!!), you should just tell him to bug off, straight out, no nonsence!! ... (read in full...)
Agony Aunts and Uncles: how do you decide to answer questions?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am studying A-Level English Language and am currently completing an investigation looking at the language used by agony aunts and uncles and how they differ. I have generally noticed that, when writing to men, more humour is used, ...
A. 4 October 2005: Its always good to have a balance between straight forward and sympathetic answers. Not everyone is the same and requires a different approach. Some people come here to get straight, solid, no nonsense advices and some come here to be consoled and ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with thinking about someone other than my partner when I'm pleasing myself?
Q. I need to know if it is normal for me to have sexual fantasies about men other than my fiance. When I am alone, and *ahem* pleasing myself, I sometimes think of someone other than my fiance. It's not someone I know well or see all the time. I don't ...
A. 4 October 2005: Right, this is coming from a guys point of view. Now I agree that theres nuthin wrong with it. However, having said that, try not to let your guy know about the people you fantasize about. Most men tend to get overly jealous about situations like ... (read in full...)
I gave my alcohol-dependant girlfriend every chance to be with me, but she still chose to leave...
Q. I am a 45 year old male. I entered into a relationship with a woman who is 39. She met me at a gathering this past summer for my sister's college graduation and came up to me and told me that she wanted me. Since then, we have tried to maintain a ...
A. 4 October 2005: You've said it all yourself. You had a girlfriend who was an alcoholic and said she would change for the sake of the relationship but didnt, gave her three chances to walk away and talk about things, and tried to give her the support she needed all ... (read in full...)
When we're apart, I get worried that my boyfriend will leave me for someone new...
Q. Hi, thanks for being willing to help me with this! What's going on is, I like his guy and he likes me, and we both live apart. Even though that kind of sucks because sometimes I fear he'll lose feelings for me from being away. I have trust in him, ...
A. 30 September 2005: Tarots eh? Take it with a pinch of salt id say. If you learn it right and if you really believe in them, you'll notice that tarots/runes/etc dont set how your life pans out. The roads you choose later on determines how it all ends. They are there ... (read in full...)
We broke up promising to be "friends", but now she's mad because I called her!
Q. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years just recently broke up. It was because of one stupid arguement but I guess you can say the separation was a long time coming. When we were together it was perfect and we were both full of love. We even had talked a...
A. 30 September 2005: You have to play the game right mate! First thing you did wrong was to contact her only after 4 days. I know it was hard for you but when you did that, you were actually acting clingy and was implying to her that the break up wasnt serious at all! I ... (read in full...)
I just wanted to share a story with my partner, but his reaction was unexpected!
Q. Recently while on lunch, a shy young gent came up to me, saying that he hopes he's not being to forward or assuming things. He said that he has noticed me many times before and that he found me very attractive and that he'd like to go for coffee ...
A. 30 September 2005: He is basically just letting you lay yourself on a guilt trip. He's getting to you by using your feelings for him to his benefit. When he told you he wishes for you to go and have fun with this other guy, he wanted you to reassure him that you were ... (read in full...)
I thought he'd chase me, but I'm chasing him!
Q. Hi,I broke up with my bf of 18 months cos I felt he was taking me for granted and thought he would fight for me. He chased for 1 week and then it backfired in my face and I ended up begging him back. I know he loves me and if I didnt break up with ...
A. 29 September 2005: Well said Bev! ... (read in full...)
We weren't really together, but it still hurt that he'd have sex with someone else!
Q. I have known this guy for five years. We were off and on. He had sex with this other girl. We weren't together but we still hooked up, and I told him if he ever did that I wouldn't talk to him ever again. I found out that he lied to me and that...
A. 29 September 2005: Yeap, you got that right. You went wrong when you decided to call him. You shouldve just left it as it was and make him crawl back to you. The only way you're ever gonna make him regret doing that to you is by ignoring him, for real!! Telling him ... (read in full...)
My husband is a hoarder and when I try to talk about it, he puts up the wall...
Q. The bottom line is that I'm fed up with my husband's disregard for me. I really don't know what to say to him because it's just a waste of time. When I try to discuss anything he always gets nasty, yells and puts the wall up. His behavour ...
A. 29 September 2005: Honestly, I dont think this is something worth going your own separate ways for! Look, this is something that happens in life after marriages. You get married, move in together and have kids, but noticed somewhere down the line that living together ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of being on my own and I think that's making me too clingy with friends!
Q. I have a problem which I experience a lot and it is that I'm just too dependant on everyone in my life. I hate being on my own and I feel so pathetic all the time because I need someone there to talk to or to do something with, as I get bored and ...
A. 29 September 2005: Firstly, what you;re gonig through is normal so dont fret about it. but its how you deal with it that matters. Wanting to be loved and liked is a natural feeling everyone gets. Tell me, who likes to be the outcast in a group of friends? very very ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my boyfriend? He'd never know!
Q. I am out on a holiday without my boyfriend of a year and a half. I met another man that I really like and know he likes me too. I can't stop thinking about this other man. I am thinking about cheating one my boyfriend as he will never know. I can't ...
A. 29 September 2005: You're thinking of cheating you say??!!! How bizzare!! Most of the time its so hard trying to get people to admit they have thoughts of cheating when they clearly do, but in your case, you;re blatantly honest about it arent you?!! Doesnt strike me ... (read in full...)
I suspect my husband is cheating, but I'm not really sure I want to know.
Q. I have been married for 11 years, but have been with my husband approx 15 yrs. He has cheated on me (twice that I know of), and yes I forgave him....well, I stayed with him. We have 3 children and they are the main reason I have stayed as long as ...
A. 29 September 2005: Cheated twice on you and is probably on his third streak. Hmm, not a very clean record I would have to say. He is ever so lucky to have someone like yourself to be by his side, to forgive him of his cheating on you this many times..there are many ... (read in full...)
My relationship with my friends is starting to change, and I'm getting the blame...
Q. I've got two best friends and we've known each other since we were about 4 years old (we're all 17 now). Recently, one of my friends (*Dee) has got a boyfriend and she spends all of her time with him, and as a result, me and my other friend ...
A. 29 September 2005: Its good that you came clean to her about how you felt. But from what Im reading, I reckon shes not buying any of it and still feels resentful for what you've allegedly done to herself. I suggest you let her clam down and give her some space. That ... (read in full...)
The girl I like won't even talk to me when her ex is around, in case she hurts HIS feelings...
Q. Over the summer me and this girl became very close. We would talk every day and we hung out a lot and eventually I started to have feelings for her. All of her friends said she always talked about me and likes me but there is a problem. She and ...
A. 29 September 2005: What I always suggest someone do in a situation like this is to follow their intuitions. I know this doesnt seem like and ideal answer for you at the moment but trust me, its the best advice anyone can give you!! You cant be sure as to what and how ... (read in full...)
Three in a bed and we were all drunk. I swear I thought it was my boyfriend touching me!
Q. I have done a really bad thing and I just don't know what to do! The other night my Boyfriend of 4 and a half years and myself stayed with one of our very close male friends. We shared his bed, which we have done before. I was in the middle. We w...
A. 28 September 2005: 'How is she loyal when shes keeping secrets from him?' you ask....ermm, i think thats the whole point of her posting this question?? Because she couldnt live with the guilt and doesnt want to keep any secrets from her boyfriend. I honestly dont see ... (read in full...)
Three in a bed and we were all drunk. I swear I thought it was my boyfriend touching me!
Q. I have done a really bad thing and I just don't know what to do! The other night my Boyfriend of 4 and a half years and myself stayed with one of our very close male friends. We shared his bed, which we have done before. I was in the middle. We w...
A. 27 September 2005: What you did and feel was absolutely right!! You told him off for taking advantage of you and feel disgusted for him doing so! You're a very loyal girlfriend and should be commended for that!! Yea, sure he'd say dont tell it to your boyfriend. I ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is almost perfect, except for hairy nipples...
Q. I have started dating a lovely girl. Perfect in almost every way except, she has quite hairy nipples. It's fine to say I should just ignore this little problem. However, how do I suggest that she might want to get rid of the hairs, without seeming ...
A. 27 September 2005: Oooh, I can imagine how you feel!! I for one wouldnt find that a turn on. You could try this tho. Try initiating a conversation about famous people and then slowly slip into how they always seem to have the perfect bodies!! Then say a generalising ... (read in full...)
Stuck in the middle... Do I choose with my heart or my head?
Q. Never, ever felt so utterly confused in my life. At least there are no kids involved. I married my partner, Tom - not real name - (of 6 years) 2 and a half years ago. I never so much as looked at anyone and 'thought' I was happy...until someone ...
A. 27 September 2005: Isnt it wonderful to have two men to choose from, both at your disposal as and when you like? I honestly think that you owe both these men an explanation, and to leave them alone!! I dont think either choosing with your heart or head will do them ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my sister-in-law, as she is to me. We just don't talk much about it.
Q. I have strong feelings for my sister in-law (always have). We've known each other for about 10 years and get on very well. We've always had a bit of a strange relationship, as we don't talk to each other much when other people are around. I would li...
A. 23 September 2005: You shouldnt even be thinking about this mate!! Shes called your sister-in-law for a reason!! From what you're saying, Im even thinking she doesnt even feel the same way about you, not the slightest bit. And even if she does (just a little), she ... (read in full...)
Breaking up is harder than I expected, because we still have feelings for each other...
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago after going out for 2 years. We just weren't in the same place in our lives- my career is set, but he doesn't have a steady job. He felt inadequate and depressed, and felt that he needed to be on his own. S...
A. 23 September 2005: Sometimes its hard to move on from someone or something you hold dearly to your heart. You feel you have to do it, but at the same time are not strong enough to pull through it. And although they say time heals all wounds (which is true for most), ... (read in full...)
I'm not happy with the the amount of time we spend together, and I'm afraid she'll break it off if I mention it...
Q. My girl friend has no time for me. We don't live together, we barely see each other. Since she got a new job (which is volunteer btw), I don't want to tell her how I feel because she might think that she's letting me down and break up with me to ...
A. 23 September 2005: Its obvoius that ur clinging on to the hope that she still loves you but by the looks of things, I reckon shes only with you in the physical, so to speak (well, coming to think of it, shes not even with u in the physical most of the time). Her ... (read in full...)
We broke up when he said he didn't want a relationship, but now he's dating my co-worker
Q. Has he lied to me about the reason he wanted to split up to protect me? I have just recently split up with my boyfriend of 3 years. We didn't have a bad relationship, well it was a lot of one sided though. He always did what he wanted to do and...
A. 23 September 2005: What doesnt make sense? Its bleemin obvious that he's playing both the girl and you out!! He's using her to maybe get you back (as he's not sure whether he will or not and does not want to lose his dignity doin it), and in the meantime, he gets sex ... (read in full...)
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