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male
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rickyy
writes: I'm a 24 years old guy and I have a 25 years old girlriend. Nowadays I'm going through a stupid funny thing which is becoming a very annoying thing. I had a very much normal erection but whenever I wore a condom and when I get ready to insert my penis, it was getting flacid(soft) and I never ejaculated. She tried sucking it, stroking it, she even masturbated in front of me to try and get it back - nothing worked! And this thing is getting almost every time now. I masturbate regualarly, and have no problem getting or maintaining an erection. I use to masterbate while watching porn stuff. Another problem with me is this that I'm not enjoying sex at all. I think I enjoy masturbating more than sex. Even I'm trying to reduce masturabation now and I'm also concentrating on healthy diet but still nothing is changing. I just can not concentrate on sex and don't know why some other things start distracting my mind while doing sex. My problem might be due to that but I'm really not sure at all. Just due to this I have even started avoiding my gf coz I really feel embarrassed in that sort of situation. Plz show me the right way. I really don't want to spoil my relationship with my gfrd.Me and my grf sometimes think that this might be happening due to condoms coz I always get erection and I just couldn't maintain it, especially after wearing a condom. But we're not sure whether this thing has got something to do with condoms or it's just in our minds.plz try to help me friends.
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condom, ejaculate, erection, lose my erection, my penis, porn Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): dude i conquered this problem. im 23 and been with this foreign girl with an amazing body. and for some reason, i was losing it when i put on the condom. but here's the key. when you're about to get your mojo on, you just gotta be a man. you gotta have it in your head that you are gonna NAIL this woman and it's gonna be the best damn sex you, and she has ever had. and you just gotta give it to her. i mean you don't got to be too rough but you do have to, and want to dominate...
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female
reader, DiovanLestat  +, writes (18 May 2008):
 Great Post. This got all the men in, now we know you all got problems with this, we can sort it out together.
There are three people in this relationship. You, your girlfriend and your penis. We're gonna assume that your penis has a brain, and can sometimes think differently from you and your girlfriend.
Stop masterbating, but keep looking at porn (if your girlfriend dosen't mind). Your feeding him (penis) too much. He's not hungry, so he chooses when to stay hard and when to ruin your life. You know the old saying "keep them mean to keep them keen".
She sounds great by the way, she's willing to help. You need to talk to her about it. As I said there's three of you in the relationship, you need her help to learn to control Johnny. So go and get her and tell her whats going on.
We're gonna retrain the brains in your penis. First of all we give him a diet of no sex. No masterbation, no letting your girlfriend touch him, no sex, nothing at all. At the same time were gonna crank up the juice with you. I want you to stop all sex (not your girlfriend, not yourself, nothing) and start dating again. You and your girlfriend go out, flirt, hold hands, kiss and nothing else. But unfortunately it's you and Johnny (penis) on the diet, not her. You can kiss and caress and pleasure her all you want. She's not got the problem, he has. (penis)
Keep this up for as long as you can, say about a month or so. This should make him very hungry. He's got nowhere to go, he foaming at the mouth (joke) and his only relief is your girlfriend.
After a month, give her the condom, make it her job to put it on. She's in charge now. Think of it as giving her the keys to your chastity belt. Imagine his position, he's hungry, he wants sex, but he can't get it unless he puts that horrible hat over his head. Too bad, that's how things go. If when you try to have sex again, he starts hiding and playing his games then start the whole process again. It'll drive him crazy, but just like a dog he'll learn. No condom, no sex, no sex at all. Slowly, slowly this problem should disappear and every time he sees the condom he'll jump for joy and start spitting up his stuff without you having to ask.
I've had the same problem, (well not me, but the guy) but by the end of the month, using this technique the problem disappeared. Now I only have to open the condom packet for my guy to get excited. Johnny (mr penis) now knows the score. Put your girlfriend in charge of your sexuality. She puts the condom on, she kisses and caressess him, he belongs to her now not you, and she likes condoms. Get a tighter fit, so the blood rushes to his (penis) head. Make it clear that if he wants fun then he's gonna have to wait untill his girlfriend puts the condom, and there's nothing you or he can do about it.
Oh yea, after the month, don't allow him to have an orgasm unless he's wearing a condom and inside your girlfriend. He's her property not yours. He'll soon learn his lesson.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): i think its cox of the condom u r using.. i changed the typ of condom i use cox of sam prob..
i tried smaller ones.. it hurt first but later its ok.. most times
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): This is quite common. can anyone help us out.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): 17 same problem!!! cheers for ideas
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Friend.. do not be discouraged. i have recently started to experience this same problem with my new g/f. I know it has nothing to do with lack of arousal or not being attracted to her, because she can cause me to get hard with just a few touches in the right places. But then, as soon as the rubber goes on, the blood starts to leave. I had originally thought that this was due to a bad experience during my breakup with my ex, but after doing much reading up on the subject have found it's more common than I thought. almost a third of men have suffered from this one or more times.
Masturbation also does not have any bearing whatsoever. I have left myself alone for 2 weeks or more, and still found this to happen. Try not to think about the condom so much, and instead, focus on your g/f. Think about how much you love her, and how you want to share that special connection with her. You should be able to put a condom on without looking at it, so instead, gaze into her eyes and remind yourself of how uch she means to you. Think of the condom not as a barrier or obstacle, but as an aid to expressing your love. I really hope things work out for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): get some viagra dude.. off the intrenet!!! condom dosent make ur P**** go down.. its anxiety..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Yes, it's a common problem. My younger bro has the same problem. I can hardly maintain an erection once a condom is on. Get it off and I'm rocksteady! The medical "experts" talk about anxiety over the condom and how getting your girlfriend to put it on should solve the problem. TOTAL BS. For me its a physical-sensation thing. The condom robs my dick of a physical sensation and it therefore goes flaccid. Take it off, my dick 'feels it' and I have good sex. Simple. Risky, I know, but the other solution is not to have sex at all. Those are the only two options right now, man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Hey man. I'm 19 and have hooked up with a good amount of girls. I had an erection up until I took of my boxers and tried to put on the condom. I just could never keep it up and even ejaculated a couple times before the condom was even on. which led to a lot of missed opportunites. Right now I believe it is all psychological because I did not masturbate for one whole week (which is pretty much an eternity) and it still happened. I think the solution is to just masturbate with condoms each time, that way become more comfortable as some people have said. I'm going to try that and just hope it works. I wish condoms would just not be necessary but until birth control is 100% effective, they are pretty much apart of sex. I wish you luck man because I know exactly what you are going through.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Do you masturbate? Try masturbating with a condom on, not just when having sex with your girlfriend, but also when you are by yourself. If you do this you will get used to having condoms on. It won't feel strange after awhile, instead it will feel normal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): Yo, yeah im 17 i kinda get same problem especially with the condom on suddenly im down lol, I think its the fact im currently jobless and doing nothin during the day time so im masturbating sometimes 3 times a day!I think if you didnt masturbate for a while and just waited i dont know,2 or 3 days, then tryed it then it may be normalThats what im gnna try anyway hope it helps 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): Try masturbating with condom on
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): same problem here man, i thought it was me but i hooked up with a girl at a party w/out a condom and it stayed up. from what i understand, if you put the condom on while on your knees and lean forward a bit it keeps the blood from leaving and leaves you in a position to quickly enter... havnt tried it yet so good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): Hey I am 16 and i have that problem
i found out that part of it was that the condoms i used had numbing lubricant that made my erection go down. after using the second tyupe of condom, it worked, but took like 9809897898 years for me to get hard.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Same problem here. Just stop having sex. That's what I did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Well, according to all the leading sex experts, most of the people here are wrong. lol... Not to sound critical or anything, but I'll offer another bit of advice. It likely has nothing at all to do with masturbation. The male libido isn't like a cup that only has so much in it. If it's high, then it's high. Period. Instead, the reason could likely be anxiety, and likely over the condom. You've had situations arise where the condom caused you to go soft, so that just drilled in your head that it will happen again. A self-fulfilling prophecy so to speak. Try this instead: Get her to put it on for you, in as seductive a way as she can. Make it part of sex, not an interruption to it. Have her masturbate you with it on. Solved my problem, anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): im 24 and just recently i have had the same problem!! like in the last month I have not been able to maintain an erection as soon as i put the freakin condom, and then im thinking in my head why the hell I cant get hard the whole time. Like I see my girlf naked and I want to have sex but then I think why is my penis not getting hard again???? I have been able to maintain erections with condoms on in the past but just recently ive failed miserably. This is starting to become a real problem since sex is easily 70 % of any relationship and I cant even get hard again after i put the condom on. IN the last month the only way to make her cum is with my finger :(, and even then my dick is hard when im doing it. I cant even look at my girlf in the face after this happens its so embarassing. This is so depressing its unbelievable..
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Hey buddy, it happens to me all the time. I love to masturbate and if i masturbate in between having sex, i can't keep it hard long but if i were to go in the bathroom and masturbate i would have no problem. I stopped masturbating all together and know that I will do it again some time, but right now i am paying all the attention to my other half. ill wait a few days and the orgasm and experience is so much more worth it.
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reader, I Dont Lie + ♥, writes (4 January 2006):
 Its the masturbation I tell you. I know friends of mine who have that problem because they masturbate like everyday. Try this, stop masturbating for 3 to 4 days and then initiate sex with your gf after that. You should be fine Im quite certain. After having done that, try to keep the rhythm of having sex instead of masturbating whenever you can. If it still happens and ure at ends wit, yea, i guess you should ask your gf to go on the pills or sumthing. But Im pretty certain my method will work! Good luck.
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female
reader, Faders_Girl +, writes (4 January 2006):
 As Joe said ask your g/f to wear a femedom. my b/f is unable to wear a condom as he has the exact same problem as you have, and i have also tried to do what your g/f has done to make him hard again. it just never worked he was thinking too much about the condom on his penis he said to me, and said it is why he cant stay hard. im on the pill now, so we dont have to come across that problem anymore. when you said you aint enjoying sex is that with the condom on??? --- also try not to aviod your g/f, can you imagine what she must be thinking?!?! especially with the condom situation then trying to aviod her as much as you can. if you are in a stron relationship and are comfortable around her just try and talk to her about it, she will understand, she might even come up with some ideas ya never know! ;) good luck :)
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reader, Joe +, writes (3 January 2006):
well if the condoms make you lose your erection why don't your gf try using a femedom it works all the same
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