Broke up with partner who was using escorts, and I feel more relieved than sad. Is this normal?
Q. I am a 42-year-old woman who just found out that her partner of 2 years has been visiting prostitutes. I ended the relationship yesterday afternoon when I found solid proof that he had been lying to me about his internet porn use, but got the final ...
A. 15 February 2011: I think you may be right about his sex addiction. How often was he seeing escorts? And is he still seeing them? From what I’ve heard, sex addiction is very difficult to overcome. I do think he needs help, and it is very thoughtful of you to ... (read in full...)
My husband's mistress faked a pregnancy!
Q. My husband's mistress faked a pregnancy and he asked her to terminate the pregnancy. They had many ugly fights following that. Then he finally told me yesterday that she said she isn't pregnant and just wanted to see if he cares about her. Since ...
A. 9 February 2011: You said, “He says he will never leave me and loves me but I am suspecting that he is now feeling bad because of all the ugly things he told her when he told she was pregnant.”
Feeling bad? For her? Are you kidding me? You’re the one who was ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay or bi? What should I do???
Q. My husband (of 27 years) was sexually abused when he was 8, by a man. Over a year ago I caught him looking at gay porn. He said he does not enjoy it does not masturbate to it, that it is just some sick obsession he has, almost like a self ...
A. 9 February 2011: I completely understand why you would be concerned. Not only could he decide to up and leave you some day, but he could expose you to STD's if he decided to experiment with men behind your back. Would he be willing to see a marriage counselor with ... (read in full...)
My husband's mistress faked a pregnancy!
Q. My husband's mistress faked a pregnancy and he asked her to terminate the pregnancy. They had many ugly fights following that. Then he finally told me yesterday that she said she isn't pregnant and just wanted to see if he cares about her. Since ...
A. 9 February 2011: Oh my! This woman sounds immature and manipulative! You asked, “Does he love that woman?” If you haven’t already, you need to ask him this. How long has the affair been going on? And, why is he still in contact with her? He needs to block her ... (read in full...)
So confused. Married but have a huge crush.
Q. Hello, This is my first post so please be gentle with me! My husband and I got married 6 months ago after 6 years of being together. I didn't have any doubts at all before the wedding. However, only 2 weeks after we got back from o...
A. 9 February 2011: Just because you are married does not mean you will never experience crushes on other men. But, you have committed yourself to your husband, so stop obsessing about this co-worker. Think of it this way... your husband will meet women he finds ... (read in full...)
I did something bad but I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me
Q. I suspected my girlfriend of cheating on me with her ex so I made a fake facebook and added him. I found out that she is cheating on me with him but I feel bad for doing something weird like this. What should I do? I don't know this guy and none of ...
A. 9 February 2011: Why are you apologizing? Your gut feeling told you this girl was cheating on you, and you did some detective work to confirm your suspicions. I know others will disagree with your tactics, but I've been in your shoes before. There are two types of ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to just end this cycle, once and for all?
Q. I've been with this guy for a few yrs now, nothing exclusive because he had a girlfriend whom he recently married. It's been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster with us in that time. I want to get rid of him and every time that I try, I just ...
A. 9 February 2011: The only way you will ever get over this man is to cut all ties with him. This means deleting his number, blocking him on Facebook, and avoiding any of his hangouts. You've wasted several years on a man who isn't willing to commit to you. As much as ... (read in full...)
Is drug addiction a disease, or is it a choice?
Q. Is drug-addiction a disease, or is it a choice? I had terrible tragic experience with drug addiction. Two of my kids got into it, and it destroyed the whole family, and one is dead now. He was the loveliest boy. And me and my husband never use...
A. 7 February 2011: Initially, individuals experiment with drugs by "choice". Once addiction sets in, it becomes a disease. You would be wise to read as much as you can about addiction, so that you will have a better idea as to why this happened to your kids. I ... (read in full...)
She wants to take a "Mommy Break". Would getting her a weekend by herself for V-Day be unromantic?
Q. Would it be horribly un-romantic for me to book a beachfront room for my wife to take a 2-day getaway by herself, as a Valentines Day gift? She has been talking about wanting to take a "mommy break" as in, get away for a couple days to relax, read, ...
A. 7 February 2011: This is a fabulous idea! Is it possible for you to join her? I imagine she would love to have you there with her at the hotel for a romantic evening together.... (read in full...)
Broke up with partner who was using escorts, and I feel more relieved than sad. Is this normal?
Q. I am a 42-year-old woman who just found out that her partner of 2 years has been visiting prostitutes. I ended the relationship yesterday afternoon when I found solid proof that he had been lying to me about his internet porn use, but got the final ...
A. 7 February 2011: This guy has some serious issues. It's hard to believe someone would continue to lie, even when confronted with solid proof! I love how he completely deflected the blame when he told you, "he would "forgive" me for violating his trust by looking ... (read in full...)
Is he still in a relationship with his ex?
Q. My partner and ex split over 1 year ago, they have a young child, however on our 1st christmas and new years eve he spent with his ex telling me its cos of their son, although their son stayed with his grandparents on those nights. my head is ...
A. 7 February 2011: I agree with TEM. So, what were your boyfriend and his ex up to while their son was off spending the night with his grandparents? Sounds like they still have feelings for one another. You are wise to question their actions. I think you need to go ... (read in full...)
How should I react to other guys saying that they love her?
Q. We're currently in long distance relationship. She'd left the country before three months...She got a mail from a guy...saying i love u so much and kiss you.. I got to read that mail before her when i checked out her facebook..and she 'd deleted ...
A. 7 February 2011: Thank you for the response! I'm still confused though. Why on earth would this man's mother ask your girlfriend to "pretend" she has feelings for her son, and ask her to leave him loving messages. This is ridiculous. Your girlfriend is feeding you a ... (read in full...)
After a turbulent relationship, should I give him space, and how long?
Q. Here is my story in chronological order. After several break ups and being cheated on twice in two relationships, I came to a conclusion in 2008 that I would be ready to get married to anyone who is ready to give me a commitment. During this ...
A. 6 February 2011: Your boyfriend has consistently treated you with disrespect, cheated on you, pursued other women via online dating sites, and refused to commit 100% to you. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t give this man another second of my time.
First... (read in full...)
I like good conversation. How can I encourage my GF to talk more too?
Q. My girlfriend and I are wonderful together, we get along, we have a wonderful sex life and see each other every day. Sounds perfect right? Not quite. I like talking, I like conversation, I like expressing opinions, but she doesn't. My girlfriend ...
A. 6 February 2011: The best way to get her to talk is to ask her "open ended" questions, rather then questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no.
I suggest the two of you watch a movie, documentary, or news program together. Afterward, ask her what her... (read in full...)
How should I react to other guys saying that they love her?
Q. We're currently in long distance relationship. She'd left the country before three months...She got a mail from a guy...saying i love u so much and kiss you.. I got to read that mail before her when i checked out her facebook..and she 'd deleted ...
A. 6 February 2011: If you are in a committed relationship, your girlfriend should not be telling another man that she loves him! You need to tell her that is unacceptable. She needs to decide whether she wants to be with you or him... but she can't have both. This ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not very hygienic, his room is a mess, he has a pet rat on his window sill and I've started coming up with really nasty skin irritations!!
Q. Hi there guys i need some help and fast! Okayy, so i've been with my amazingly lovely boyfriend for two months now and things are going well. Although, over the time we've been going out i've started coming up with really nasty skin irritati...
A. 5 February 2011: In addition to MsKin's advice, I would find out what kind of soap and shampoo products your boyfriend is using. Perhaps, you can test them to see if they give you any reaction.
I am mildly allergic to my bunny who lives indoors. I only hav... (read in full...)
My parents told me the girl I'm dating isn't socioeconomically acceptable!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 24 and i really love my girlfriend so2 much...however, my parents don't approve of this girl.. they consider her as not being of the same level socioeconomically....i don't care what her parents work as, or what type of house she ...
A. 5 February 2011: Thanks for responding my questions. It sounds like your parents are hoping you will marry this other girl. Is she a former girlfriend or do your parents come from a culture that practices “arranged marriages”? Assuming you grew up in the U.S., ... (read in full...)
My parents told me the girl I'm dating isn't socioeconomically acceptable!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 24 and i really love my girlfriend so2 much...however, my parents don't approve of this girl.. they consider her as not being of the same level socioeconomically....i don't care what her parents work as, or what type of house she ...
A. 4 February 2011: I'm sorry you are being pulled in two different directions by those you love the most. Usually, parents have their children's best interest at heart. I imagine there is something else about this girl that they don't like. If their concerns are ... (read in full...)
Marriage or master's degree, which should come first?
Q. Please advice me, I am 25 male, handsome, working as economic analyst, but want to have my master within 2 0r 3 years, but same time want to marry....should i do master first and then marry or i should marry and then go for masters.... i...
A. 4 February 2011: If I were you, I'd get the Master's degree first. It will be much more difficult to juggle school, work, and a family at the same time, so finish up school first! Good luck! ... (read in full...)
She said she didn't fancy me because I wasn't Asian?
Q. I started dating this woman a few weeks ago. I found her very attractive and we seemed to sizzle together. We went out 6 times and I thought we were like 2 peas in a pod. On the last occasion we had a very long intimate session. We had planned a ...
A. 4 February 2011: I'm sorry this happened to you. It sounds like she was attracted to you. I wanted to add one more thing to the wonderful advice you've received already.
Assuming this woman is Asian, perhaps, her family and friends prefer that she marry someone ... (read in full...)
I was too shy to talk to him and now he thinks I'm not interested. I need advice!
Q. It's a really long story, but I'm going to make it short. So, I have had a crush on a guy for almost a year and half, and we're both in college. Well I started to like him when I realized he liked me, but I'm just too shy to talk to him. He tried ...
A. 3 February 2011: If you sit and wait for him to make a move, you will miss your opportunity to get to know him. Find the strenth to sit next to him in class and talk to him! You already know that this guy is interested. Go sit next to him and strike up a ... (read in full...)
I know he is never going to leave his wife for me, so how do I go cold turkey when I have to see him everyday?
Q. Hello I am a 33 year old lady who has got myself into a bit of a mess. I started seeing a co-worker in December 2009. He and I are both married, unhappy, but both staying for childrens/financial sake. He only married in January 2010. He didn...
A. 3 February 2011: This is definitely a sticky situation you have gotten yourself into. I imagine you are hurting right now, but you need to consider the feelings of your husband and his wife, as well. They are the innocent victims… along with the children. You ... (read in full...)
My husband is sucking me dry... emotionally. Need advice!
Q. I don't even know why I am posting this here or how to phrase this so that I don't seem like the bad guy...but I am. And I know it. And yes, feel free to tell me so. I tried to tell my hubby that if he posted here with this problem you would all ...
A. 2 February 2011: You said that you and your hubby were swingers together before you married. Initially, whose idea was it to swing? Were either of you swingers before you got together? If so, did the poly or swinging lifestyle have anything to do with your ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to tell if he has a girlfriend?
Q. are they any signs that you could tell if a man i am intrested in has a girlfriend . i know he not married he is a widowder has been for 10 years now . ...
A. 2 February 2011: Have you asked him? If not, what has kept you from doing so? Other than asking him yourself, the only other option is to ask one of his close friends. How well do you know this guy? Do you think he is hiding something from you? ... (read in full...)
My husband is sucking me dry... emotionally. Need advice!
Q. I don't even know why I am posting this here or how to phrase this so that I don't seem like the bad guy...but I am. And I know it. And yes, feel free to tell me so. I tried to tell my hubby that if he posted here with this problem you would all ...
A. 2 February 2011: In one of your follow ups, you stated, “His telling me he will leave me if I end my friendship with my friend makes perfect sense if you realize that my husband is trying to make himself the center of attention and focus everything on him... he's a ... (read in full...)
Am I over thinking?
Q. I have been seeing what some may call my "boyfriend" but not official for about 5 months. This gets complicated so hopefully I can make this clear enough to understand. I started working at a strip club, yes, dancing right after my 20th birthday...
A. 1 February 2011: He doesn’t sound like a bad guy, but there are two things about him that do concern me.
First, you stated, “He has many, many female friends.... all beautiful and has a reputation for getting any woman he wants. I fall short of trusting him alth... (read in full...)
How do relationships turn out if one person is on medication and has depression?
Q. I am at a stage of life where I am not sure what to do. I am not in a relationship at the moment and I have never been approached by a woman ever. And I have been rejected a few times before. The question is...How do relationships often turn out if ...
A. 1 February 2011: I have a friend that I have known for several years who is being treated with anti-depressants and anti-psychotics as well. He is a great guy... highly intelligent, witty, and funny. Several years ago, he had a bad break up, which led to severe ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has anger issues, but I don't want him to leave. Will he ever change?
Q. I really dont know what to do anymore! I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a 6 month old son. He works nights and I look after our son. He gets really naggy over the slightest thing and will shout, swear, and punch the walls....
A. 1 February 2011: If he has agreed to seek counseling for anger management, that's fantastic! That tells me there is hope for him. Your boyfriend has acknowledged he has anger issues, and is willing to work on this problem... that’s an excellent sign that he will ... (read in full...)
I have an STD but I've NEVER cheated on my girlfriend!???
Q. Hey, Ok so, here's my problem. My fiancee thinks I've cheated on her and is seriously debating about leaving me. She's currently 34 weeks pregnant with our first child and under a lot of stress, she relies on her parents alot when it c...
A. 1 February 2011: Oh no! There's nothing worse than being accused of something you didn't do. Obviously, you know you did not cheat.
According to the website for the Center for Young Women's Health, chlamydia can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, and oral... (read in full...)
I am scared I lost my chance with him, and scared to lose my best friend too! What should I do?
Q. I need advice about this guy i still really really like.We have gone out off and on 3 or 4 times. He has dated my friend first but i ask permission to date him him she said yes, so we went out and now he has went out with 5 of my most best friends ...
A. 1 February 2011: I'm sorry you are hurting right now. Here's a good piece of advice... never date your best friend's ex boyfriend. In most cases, there will be hurt feelings involved. Your friend may have given you permission to date him, but obviously she wasn't ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like they're going out?
Q. i think one of my friends is going out with my best friends ex in secret. she walks home with him and on more than one instances ive seen them hugging and holding hands also this weekend i went to the cinema and he was kissing a girl and she had the ...
A. 31 January 2011: The fact that she spends time with him and has been seen hugging him, really isn't enough proof to say for certain that she is romantically involved with your friend's ex. As for the movie incident... that's iffy. You didn't see the girl's face, ... (read in full...)
His wondering eyes lead him to unconscious actions!
Q. Is it normal to do things subconsciously without realizing what you are doing after the fact? I've caught my fiancee three times where he would let go of my hand when a hot/cute/good looking female passes us by. It's irritating and just I believe ...
A. 31 January 2011: I'm happy you spoke with your fiance about his actions. Communication is key in any relationship. Did you ask him why he acted like he did at the restaurant? Or did he do it in retaliation because he thought you were flirting with men one night? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has anger issues, but I don't want him to leave. Will he ever change?
Q. I really dont know what to do anymore! I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a 6 month old son. He works nights and I look after our son. He gets really naggy over the slightest thing and will shout, swear, and punch the walls....
A. 31 January 2011: The only way I see him getting better is if he begins counseling for anger management. If I were you, I would ask him to do this immediately. Have you two talked about this? If so, what was his response? ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make him pay maintenance?
Q. hi can anyone give me advice 25 yr ago i had an affair which i became pregnant my daughter is now 25 years old out of the blue after 25 years he wanted a parternity test which was positive (which i knew it would be) but since then he has not ...
A. 31 January 2011: I'm not familiar with the laws in the U.K., but I do suggest you make an appointment with a lawyer who specializes in family law. Most lawyers offer a free first time consultation, so it can't hurt to find out your options.
Good luck! ... (read in full...)
3 years after husband walks out, I still grieve, when does it stop?
Q. Hi, I was with supposedly the "love of my life" for 32 years. In 2008, I found out he was having an affair. He left my son and I for 2 months, and then returned, stayed for 3 months, kept seeing the other person and then left again. I have not seen ...
A. 31 January 2011: My heart goes out to you! I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. The other agony aunts have given you some excellent advice.
I am very concerned about you. By the tone of your question, you seem to be severely depressed. Have you received... (read in full...)
My confusion and lack of trust had made my husband consider leaving me!
Q. I've been with my husband for nearly 22 years, most of those perfectly happy. He changed careers which meant I saw him less (works most weekends) and he had less money which meant I took over a lot of bills. The job has made him come out of himself ...
A. 30 January 2011: I'm so sorry you are having marriage problems. Stop putting all the blame on yourself! Remember, he's the one who let some colleague continue sending him flirty text messages, and wouldn't put a stop to it. That's terribly selfish and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex-wife and son are constantly interfering!
Q. Well here goes I guess. The guy I am seeing is perfect for me. I know he feels the same about me. So our problem is his 16 year old son and his ex. She has sent me facebook messages saying she wishes us the best, but then argues about me all the ...
A. 30 January 2011: Obviously, your boyfriend’s son is struggling to accept that his father has a new woman in his life. This is to be expected. This boy suffers from some sort of sensitivity disorder which is making an already difficult situation for him, even more ... (read in full...)
He cheated, I got pregnant, stayed for the children, and now I want out!
Q. My husband had a four year affair early in our marriage. By the time I had enough confidence in myself to leave him I found out I was pregnant. 15 years later, I no longer want to stay married. His family stated that I don't have the right to leave ...
A. 30 January 2011: Perhaps if his friends and family knew he'd carried on a four year affair during your marriage, they would think differently! It's time for you to pack your bags and say goodbye to Captain America. Do not let his family talk you into staying. ... (read in full...)
If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her?
Q. If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her? I have a friend, well someone i know, and for the past 6 months or so he has been cheating on his girlfriend. He has approached me on a number of occ...
A. 30 January 2011: If your boyfriend was cheating on you, would you want to know? I know I would! Not only is her boyfriend a cheater, but he could put her at risk for STD's. I hope you contact her and let her know what he's been up to. That way she can get rid of ... (read in full...)
How do I explain to friends that I don't want to be touched because of my disfigurement?
Q. It's me again. I have people who are pressuring me to be in a relationship, but there's just one problem...I'm permanently disfigured. I used to have tits, and then I had surgery. It still doesn't look normal and the Doctors don't care. But the ...
A. 29 January 2011: First of all, gynecomastia is not some rare disorder. In fact, 40-60% of men have gynecomastia. That being said, I am very sorry that you were the victim of a botched surgery, and I have no doubt it has hurt your self-esteem.
So... I'm guessing... (read in full...)
Our four year relationship has stagnated. Could it be reinvigorated? And how?
Q. We are in our early twenties. We have been dating nearly four years (having met in high school). Things were passionate but have died down steadily. I truly love her personality (at least the positive part of it). But there are things that have been...
A. 29 January 2011: No, it doesn’t sound like you are incompatible. Most couples have separate interests that the spouse has zero interest in. Personality is one of the most important traits that one should look at when considering a spouse, so no worries there!
... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend of 8 years pushing me away?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years this year, last year he went through a tough time at work he lost his job as a manager and now works on the floor where he managed but only temporary until later this year, then hes out, he was very ...
A. 29 January 2011: I can understand why you are concerned. Is this the first time he has ever pushed you away? It definitely sounds like he is avoiding you. Either he is depressed and needs his medication altered, or he is thinking about ending the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Why do the girls I like seem more interested in guys way less successful than me?
Q. Help, I need major help getting on track! Hello all. I am 27 and for all intents and purposes I consider myself a virgin (the one night of 5-hour attempt where I got no pleasure doesn't count). I can't find anyone compatible and I try eve...
A. 29 January 2011: You sound like a good catch! One thing working against you is your decision to not have children. For most women, this is a dealbreaker. However, there are plenty of women out there who feel the same way as you. You may want to broaden the age ... (read in full...)
His wondering eyes lead him to unconscious actions!
Q. Is it normal to do things subconsciously without realizing what you are doing after the fact? I've caught my fiancee three times where he would let go of my hand when a hot/cute/good looking female passes us by. It's irritating and just I believe ...
A. 28 January 2011: You are wise to question your future with this man. It's one thing for a man to quickly glance at an attractive woman that passes by, but it's an entirely different case when the man continues to look in her direction, let's go of your hand, and ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend of 8 years pushing me away?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years this year, last year he went through a tough time at work he lost his job as a manager and now works on the floor where he managed but only temporary until later this year, then hes out, he was very ...
A. 27 January 2011: Thank you for the update. His demotion and pending job loss is a huge punch to his ego. Is he still being treated for depression?
When you spoke with him, did you ask him where your relationship stood? I can't help but wonder if he is think... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend of 8 years pushing me away?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years this year, last year he went through a tough time at work he lost his job as a manager and now works on the floor where he managed but only temporary until later this year, then hes out, he was very ...
A. 26 January 2011: Your boyfriend has gone through a very rough time, so I can understand why he would be depressed. Is he still being treated for depression? If not, it sounds like he is becoming depressed again.
If you've been dating for 8 years, and his phon... (read in full...)
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