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I have an STD but I've NEVER cheated on my girlfriend!???

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey,

Ok so, here's my problem.

My fiancee thinks I've cheated on her and is seriously debating about leaving me.

She's currently 34 weeks pregnant with our first child and under a lot of stress, she relies on her parents alot when it comes to any decision she has to make, even when it comes to our relationship, they however don't like me too much and have been encouraging her from day one to leave me. We've been together now 4 years.

The reason she is thinking of leaving me is because I recently went to the doctors because I was suffering from depression, I was asked if I wanted to take a STD test, its a free test so I thought what the hell.

It came back positive for Chlamydia. Now because you can only catch it through intercourse she thinks I must have cheated on her.

As far as I know she has never cheated on me and I know I've never cheated on her but it doesn't help the situation, she's on the verge of leaving me and I don't know what to do?

How else could I have contracted Chlamydia? Theres no explination and because of that our relationship is on the verge of ending.

What should I do?

Thanks.

View related questions: cheated on me, cheated on my girlfriend, fiance, std

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A female reader, Lilfoxxy Australia +, writes (1 February 2011):

Didn't they test her when she confirmed her pregnacy and started with clinic visits? I was tested for STD's when I was pregnant as they need to know for babies health?

Mmm I would check this out... Might find some answers there she may already know about it and be using u as a scapegoat for something she maybe dishonest about?

You guys are having a baby nd need to sort ur relationship out asap. The first year with new baby is a very trying one and u need to be a strong supportive team - going into it with these issues is not going to help.

Priority is they key ... What's more important .. Ur future as a family or what happened in the past as a couple?? If ur relationship was strong prior to this discovery with trust would either of u ever accused eachother of cheating? Does either of u present it in ur nature ... If not why should the accusation come put now when medical facts prove that this STD can be present for years without either of u knowing. Without doubt you both will have it. Is it worth pointing fingers?

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (1 February 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntAs many as I in 4 men with chlamydia display no symptoms. Only about 30% of women with chlamydia display symptoms.

Both of you need to start thinking about your sexual history and where you had unprotected sex. If neither of you cheated then one of you has been infected with chlamydia for quite some time. However, chlamydia left untreated can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, scarring of the fallopian tubes, and infertility. Seeing as you two have been together for 4 years and she's pregnant then this STD has been contracted recently. So someone DID cheat.

Your girlfriend also needs to get tested. If left untreated while she's pregnant, it can cause premature labor and delivery.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

Chlamydia can be asymptomatic in a woman (up to 75% of women) for a long time. Years.

It can also be asymptomatic in men, though it's less common.

If your wife wasn't a virgin before whe married you, it's quite likely she picked it up from a previous sexual partner. All you can really do is present her with the medical facts and promise you didn't cheat.

I doesn't sound like she wanted to take any responsibility for this and is pusing the unwelcome news on you.

The best case scenario is that she or you were with someone previously and the disease was in latency.

The worst case scenario is that one of you is lying.

If she makes the decision to leave you because she doesn't trust you, it of course would be painful, but it would say something definitive about her loyalties.

Why would you want to be married to someone who doesn't trust you?

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A female reader, FloridaCatGirl United States +, writes (1 February 2011):

FloridaCatGirl agony auntOh no! There's nothing worse than being accused of something you didn't do. Obviously, you know you did not cheat.

According to the website for the Center for Young Women's Health, chlamydia can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. In addition, the website says, it can also be passed to the eye by a hand or other body part moistened with infected secretions. Here is a link to the website:

http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/chlamydia.html

Assuming it was contracted through sexual contact, there are 3 possibilities:

1) You contracted chlamydia from a previous relationship.

2) Your girlfriend contracted chlamydia from a previous relationship.

3) Your girlfriend had sex with someone who had chlamydia, while you were dating.

When was the last time you and your girlfriend were tested for STD's?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

about 50% of people who have it don't know it. Symptoms can show up way later. Or don't show at all. One of yall could of had it all along and never knew it. Tell her to go get tested as well.That's why it is safe to always use a condom and get tested on the regular.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

You can retake the test for confirmation...The infection may have been present before you started dating(ie either yourself or your girlfriend had it) or one of you is lying here....If it is not you then it is her simples!!....

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