A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance stood me up at my work event. My job had this fund raising event; we decided that I should go in first since he was not going to be able to make it on time. My bf was supposed to meet me at the Event. When he arrives, I was having a conversation with an old colleague of mine, I introduce her to him; then I told him to go and sign his name in for the event and meet me right back where I was. I pointed him towards the table where you sign your name to and continue talking to my colleague while he was signing. Then, minutes passed and he is not back, everybody went inside and I am outside waiting for him to come back. When I called him, he is like " I had an emergency at work, I have to come back to work"... I knew he was lying. Then, he texted me and said that something serious had happened and he had to go back. For a moment I believe him and I was even worried that something really bad must have happened for him to leave so suddenly. I try to stay calm and continue my night. There were a lot of very important people from my job that were even asking for him 'cause they all knew he was coming. I wanted everybody to meet him.Later that night when I got home, I realized he didn't really go to work. Then, I was extremely upset. Very early in the morning I woke up and left the house to release the anger. We texted back and forth until he finally told me the truth or at least part of it.... that he left the event 'cause I ignored him ... that I didn't introduce him to the people there and he felt humiliated ..... that I was disrespectful to him and left him alone in a corner..that he was standing like an idiot without knowing what to do .and that he had never done that to me.....I have to said thatWe have gone to other events; this isn't his first one. Is it reason enough? Is there something going on that I don't know?? I told him I am sorry; but that was not reason enough to stood me out at the event.... If he felt that way, and "this happened in a matter of minutes. Yeah, maybe I did not welcome him properly; but is it enough to have taken off without even telling me.. I was looking for him all over the place when he was already gone..Please, help me understand. Something inside me tells me to just leave him. We've been having a lot of issues and we were really looking forward to this event. We were going to have fun and laughers. In returned, he ruined my whole weekend.
View related questions:
at work, fiance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2012): Personally I would have felt neglected too in his shoes, your event,hes your guest,you direct him to a book and carry on talking to a colleague
His view,you didnt go with him or follow behind after removing yourself from your conversation so he felt like a spare part or lowly employee.Not your fiance.He isnt comfortable with your colleagues either or he would have just mingled
Yes his reaction was a little extreme,just leaving you embarassed without a word.But its like a light going on, a warning its time to talk and see if either of you wants to continue with this relationship or decide to let it go.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (21 April 2012):
 Sounds like he has some severe social anxiety. It sucks that he lied about work, but I also think that you may have misrepresented to him how much you were going to make him comfortable at the event OR you wanted so much to enjoy the event with him for the two of you that he didn't want to disappoint you and say he didn't feel the same because he thought it would disappoint you.
I think if you're having a lot of struggles right now, at the very least call off the engagement and try to get to a place where you feel stable enough to move forward. It sounds like you're sick enough of the relationship that you don't even want that, though.
...............................
|
