A
female
age
30-35,
*unshine90
writes:My boyfriend got a job out west. We were driving together as I decided to go with him. We got in a car accident and came back home. The next day I took him to the airport, and I stayed behind. He said he's coming home to stay with me in august but I am so paranoid that he won't be. He is loving it out there and I'm here so sad. He says he misses me and can't wait to put a ring on my finger. But I'm still paranoid he's not coming home and I miss him so much I find it hard to even eat! Can anyone help!? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (23 June 2012):
 why can't you join him at that point in Dec? I thought he was coming home in aug for good? I think when he comes you'll need to sit down with him and have an honest talk about how long distance is going and where you two are headed, whether he still plans to come back in aug like you'd like. You need to let him know how hard it's been on you, even if you've been good about letting him know the toll its had on you so far, he needs to know that the struggle is so hard to bear that you might lose him over it because it's too painful otherwise. If he agrees with you at this point then you don't have to go on further but if you have a feeling he still doesn't get it, tell him what you've told us, that December is the time where you can no longer hold out for him because it's too painful for you and you care too much. It should be a wakeup call for him if it's meant to be.
A
female
reader, sunshine90 +, writes (19 June 2012):
sunshine90 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for the advise. He's coming home for a visit on june 26th! I'm so excited its been a long 5 weeks apapart. But there still hasn't been much talk about when he's coming home for good to start a life together. There have been hints about december. I've decided that I love him with all my heart but if he decides to stay till december ill have to end things because its just not fair and too much on our relationship.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (1 June 2012):
If you've healed from the accident, can't you catch a plane to be with him? Trust in him. He can BOTH enjoy a new area of the country AND be in love with you, and you have no reason to doubt him when he says he can't wait to put a ring on your finger, so believe in him when he says these things. I know August feels like a long ways a way, but you know there's an enddate. Start a countdown, and do something celebratory every time a week passes by--call each other up and both go out and get yourselves ice cream, or send him a nice care package and ask for the same because you need your lovin's! Make a scrapbook of the good times, and make a list of what you can't wait to do when he comes back. Do other non-him things. Go get a mani-pedi or something girly that'll make you feel desirable and worthy of being his girl while he's gone. Take care of yourself and rely on others to take care of you as well, for a boost in spirits, a movie out, etc. Good luck, August will be here soon!!!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 June 2012):
 Off course he is going to be having a good time, he is in a new location and probably making new friends and has a new job. But I don't understand why you are so paranoid? Do you not trust him? If you don't then you are probably better not in this relationship.
I can understand that you miss him that is completely natural, but sometimes a bit of distance is good as it can make you both appreciate each other more. I know that it is difficult but don't let it make you miserable and ruin your summer, at the end of the day you are worrying over nothing. I am not sure what is giving you the idea he won't return.
Keep yourself busy instead of wallowing in self pity. Go out and meet up with friends, pick up new hobbies, join new clubs make the most of your time.
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