A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lolOne issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I feel what's the point they will only end up not satisfied and just wanting bigger and have no confidence to show for it.I haven't had many relationships in the past but out of the few , I have had more women say they are happy with it...but I just feel they was being nice .I had one who made it shit for me afterwards ( my 1st time lol )I know women say it doesn't matter and all the rest but as a bloke it can effect how you are.something daft like when with mates they joke about saying our dicks are big ( as lads do lol ) but I cant even bring myself to say it as a joke because I just feel I am lying to myself .Any advise how to be happy with myself.thank you
View related questions:
confidence, my penis, penis size Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (17 August 2014):
Dear OP,
... maybe you should consider professional help on this. Because it sounds like your penis size has way too much of a negative effect on your mental health and your relationships. You ruined the intimacy of a great relationship with your worries and negative mood and then blamed everything on your anatomy, when it was just your insecurities that completely took over.
I don't know who shamed you about your penis size or what negative things you've heard about men with small penises, but man, please, work on this issue. You don't need to change your penis, but your attitude. You are making yourself unhappy, continuing to hurt yourself more than anybody else could hurt you. And this really worries me about this post. You should be your own best friend, instead you are putting yourself down and practice a lot of self-sabotage.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everybody for the help and advise.
Its just annoying as I should be thinking like this anymore and want to just be happy with myself.
In the 2nd relationship it was great but my self doubts started me to be down and I lost sexual interest with my partner as I never felt I satisfied her ( even though we was like rabbits before) and then well she ended up with somebody else which just made me think she was happier with him for bigger reasons.
And the last one I ended it as I wasn't as keen on her as she was me.
And I guess I just want to be comfortable with it and not just feel less off myself regards to it.
Thanks again everybody for the help
...............................
A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (16 August 2014):
Dear OP,
Instead of telling you that size doesn't matter (you won't believe me), I tell you this: Nobody is perfect. Not you, not the women you sleep with.
You can either be insecure for the rest of your life, because you're not perfect, or you can say "f**k it" and deal with this reality, accepting your possible shortcomings (sorry).
Look, I have big thighs. I can cry about it for the rest of my life and believing all the guys are just being nice when they say they like my thighs, making myself miserable.. or I can say "yep, I don't look like a model and some people may not like my thighs or even make fun of them.. but you know what? I still get laid and people who like me enough to be nice to me and stay around, so the problem can't be that big".
Accept it, my friend. You'll never have a horse-cock. You'll never enjoy the pride of revealing a porn-star dick. You'll never have the illusion that you're able to completely satisfy every woman that comes near you and be the alpha-male in the locker room. But the good news is that this might make you more sensitive towards the insecurities of others, more willing to forgive other peoples' imperfections (everybody has some, remember), and maybe become also more conscious about pleasing women with better technique (which would be a blessing for the female world).
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2014): "I have had more women say they are happy with it...but I just feel they was being nice."Women don't all have the same preference, so it's likely they meant it. I don't understand why you and a lot of other men seem to think ALL women prefer a large penis. Women's vaginas come in different sizes just as men's penises do. So it's completely ridiculous to think women would all want the same thing. A large penis be more satisfying for SOME women, but for others it would cause discomfort or even pain. I've been called a liar before for saying I preferred a guy on the smaller side, and it irritated the hell out of me. It's like saying I'm not allowed to have a different preference just because it doesn't match up with what "every" woman supposedly prefers. That's what you're basically saying about the women who told you they were happy with your size. You dealt with one who wasn't happy with it, so now you assume her opinion would be the opinion of every woman. It makes no sense. Sorry if I come off as harsh, but I want you to think about it. Don't listen to those guys who make jokes, they are clueless.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 What is it that you want?
Do you picture yourself as a player type with a trail of sexually satisfied lying in sweaty heaps on rumpled bedsheets, while you blow the smoke off your penis, that mighty organ that brought them to the heights of sexual ecstasy?
Or is it that your feel too small to actually enter into a mutually satisfying sexual relationship? You said you had some relationships. Why did they end? Was it because you didn't trust them to be honest in bed?
Or is it that you want a big ol' wang that you can flaunt to the other lads in the urinal?
What do you want?
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 One thing to remember is you can't do a damn thing about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (14 August 2014):
 How to be happy with yourself? Accept and embrace your body. Everyone has something about their body that they don't like. Our "flaws" are much worse in our head, we are our toughest critics. For instance I had a problem with my smaller chest. Very similar to your problem. Feeling like less of a woman because I dont have large boobs. Feeling like men would tell me they like my boobs to be nice, but they would always prefer bigger ones. But you come to the realization that short of surgery there is nothing you can about it, so why sit around and worry about it? You can embrace your flaws.
There are positives to having a smaller penis. Just like there are advantages to smaller boobs. You just need to change your outlook. A large penis looks good in porn and is good as an idea, it is not good in reality. In real life a large penis hurts. Trust me, I've been with both. The best partner I've had was also the smallest. He was the best due to his adventurous nature and confidence, not size. Look at the benefits you have. CindyCares makes good points here so I won't repeat them. Men with large penises don't have a better sex life or more satisfied partners than men with small penises do. Men who take care of their partner's sexual needs are the ones with satisfied women.
Get some good skills and have confidence in yourself and I promise you that you will have no complaints in the bedroom. Size only matters to you and other men with this complex. Very few women actually care about size, just like very few men would only date a certain size of breast in women. The majority of people you date will like you for you and not notice what you consider to be a flaw. You just need to realize this. Accept yourself and embrace the good parts of what you cannot change.
Also who are you trying to impress here? Women are the ones saying it doesn't matter and they don't care as long as you are good at x,y and z. Why are you listening to men when women are the ones you are trying to please? Men don't have a clue what women really want most of the time. Start listening to all the females out there and what we are telling you. Start working on something that actually makes a difference and don't waste more time worrying about what you can't change.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Look, like you point out yourself, this is something you joke about between the lads. The ladies are happy. So the obvious answer is NOT to sleep with more women.. because you wont care what they say or believe them and will only think they are being nice or whatever... Your real problem seems to be that your MALE friends aren't accepting your penis size.
I don't know, the obvious answer might be to pull down your pants and let them see your size and see if they laugh or not? Or compare sizes?
Okay, lets be serious. If you have a problem with your penis size then what someone else says wont matter. Because you're the one with the irrational issue, so you're the one who needs to change your way of thinking, and you're the one who needs to tell yourself that you're good enough. No one else can help you out with that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 August 2014):
 Amen, Auntie Cindy... Preaching to the choir!
Read her advice till it sinks in dear OP. The size doesn't matter for most women. (there ARE women who thinks the bigger the better, just like there are men who thinks the bigger the boobs the better the woman...)
It's actually as little as 7% of women who CONSISTANTLY gets orgasms from penetration alone. 7 %. And ..... considering that the VAGINA is 4-6 inches deep... WHY do you think more is needed?
Learn to be a GREAT lover, not just a jackhammer!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Cindy and femmenoir understand this..... Now, let me tell you from a "guy" point of view..... that penis size is 'WAY overrated..... (BELIEVE ME... I KNOW!!!).
Women, my friend, would like you to MAKE LOVE TO THEM!!!! not, simply take your little friend, there, and do a self- masturbation in their p*ssies....
There is SO MUCH that you can do to make love to a woman.... and only a little bit of it includes your "Mr Happy".....
Study love-making.... and watch how your consternation over the size of your endowment will EVAPORATE....
P.S. .... and the ladies will clamor for your attentions!
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 You are worrying for nothing, believe me!
My advice would be that whether or not you feel that your penis size is not of the norm, who cares what women think about that!
I am a woman, yet i will be the first to admit, that many women can be very picky & fussy about penis size, but the truth is that most women could not care less.
If a woman is in love with you, she will be interested in you, as a whole person, a whole being, not just because of how big or small your penis actually is.
Your intellect, is actually a womans biggest turn on ok.
After all, when you think about it logically, when 2 people first meet, build a bond, fall in love, whatever, they do not say, well, if your genitals are not perfect, i'm going to dump you immediately!
If they did, well, it simply means they were not suited, nor meant to be together.
By that stage, most people have built something strong & would not be willing to take risks by leaving the one they love, irrespective of what they look like physically, not unless they were never in love, or unless they're very shallow.
Also, it is not how big your penis is, it is about how you use it, truly!
You could look like Casinova, but be a poor lover, or you could look like someone that walked out of a cave & be the best lover ever.
I am female & trust me when i say, when you've met "the one", she won't care about your penis size & actually, i will bet my bottom dollar that your penis isn't even as small as you believe it is.
Check out the avergae size of most males penises online & i am sure yours would fall between the average male penis size.
Focus on your confidence mostly, so that you will attract a great woman & yes, turn her on, big time, regardless of what your penis size is.
Stay focused, be positive & don't carry false beliefs in your head.
Stand tall & say to yourself every day, that you are a smart, sexy guy, you have a great body, you have a very positive attitude & that you can & you will attract a gorgeous woman, who will just happen, to take you for who you are.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Oh good. A nice good old " penis size question " . It was a while that I had not seen one on DC, so... welcome back, dear old " penis size question ".
I feel a little disempowered in responding , though. I hope other Aunts and Uncles will jump in and will do better than me.
Because if I tell you that it's true, most women do not care about size ( some do, of course )... you won't believe me, you'll think I am being nice.
If I tell you that for a lot of women ( I forgot the exact stats, how much it was it ? 40% ? 50 % ? 60% ? ) you might as well NOT have a penis at all, they can't come through vaginal intercourse, you have to use other parts of your body.. you won't believe me, you'll think I am being nice.
If I tell you ( and that's a scientific fact )- that only the first third of the vagina is rich with nervous endings and actually feels something, the rest it's all for
" glamour " and psychological effect, you won't believe me, you'll think I am being nice.
If I tell you that a big penis has its downsides, meaning it can HURT , so you have to control speed, penetration angle, duration ... while with a medium or small you can just go hog wild ;
If I tell you : STOP watching so much porn , lol, do you think that there are many guys around IRL who are so endowed ?... It's like watching a basketball game and deciding that all males are 6'7" tall...
Well, I can come up with things to say, but if you have made your mind up that all women will just lie, even those who do not know you and never will have sex with you, to make you happy and to protect your frail ego... what can I say that you might believe ?
...............................
|
