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How can I get over my fear of erections/seeing women naked?

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Question - (15 September 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 September 2014)
A male United States age 26-29, *xamnyisis writes:

I go to a very liberal college. At this college, the pool for the dorms is actually clothing optional. I went down to the pool last night and a few friends were celebrating a birthday. For a while, it was pretty fun... At a certain point, everybody started tossing their bathing suits aside. It is at this point I should mention they were all women. Now, I am not opposed to anybody who is liberal with their nudity/sexuality. Many women have already had to put up with enough foolish people who shame women for their sexuality.

Unfortunately, I was a bit aroused and had what looked like (at least to me) a rather noticeable erection. I should also mention that, despite my soapboxing, I have some big-time body shyness. I am a virgin because of it. I swam to the corner of the pool and tried looking away because I felt like I was being rude. I didn't want to leave the pool either because they would've seen my erection front and center. I'm completely terrified of that. I then talked to a friend who was unclothed, but I hadn't noticed that yet. When I did notice, I started to freeze up and stutter and I felt like I was going to cry. I didn't, but I got out later when nobody was looking and hid in my dorm for a while.

I don't really know what question to ask, frankly. I think in some way I might be afraid of seeing women naked because I'll have an erection and it'll be embarrassing. And I really hate that I am saying that. Is there a way to get over this ridiculous fear?

View related questions: erection, shy

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (15 September 2014):

Dear OP,

I think it's perfectly normal for a man to have an erection when seeing a naked woman/naked women.

So, I think there's a reason there were mostly naked females in the pool.. the guys may have had the same problem as you and avoided it for that reason (just some wild guessing).

I understand that a naked pool party with female friends is just not an option for you anymore, if you don't want an erection. You're not a little boy, you're a man and your reflexes will kick in. That's okay. Just accept it. You can still be their friend, but there's maybe a part of the friendship you can't share as "innocently" as them.

And also, if you ever have a girlfriend.. most of us women feel very, very flattered when the man we love and desire gets an erection because of our naked body. It's a very beautiful compliment, because it shows that we are attractive.

Personally, I love erections and I don't think they are embarrassing at all.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (15 September 2014):

chigirl agony auntHaving an erection is normal. It's not a sign you are creepy, or impolite etc. It's a perfectly normal reaction to nudity. There is a difference between having an erection/getting aroused and wanting to have sex! I mean, it's just physics, you get aroused by nudity, it's how our bodies are meant to react. That doesn't mean you were turned on mentally though, or had any intentions of doing anything. See the difference?

I understand that it can be embarrassing, because having an erection is a private matter. So when people choose to not be private any longer, and you prefer the privacy, perhaps it is best that you leave the situation. Without shame, it just is the way it is. Full nudity isn't for everyone, not everyone are comfortable about it, and certainly not everyone are comfortable about having an erection in public.

That said, I've been to a nudist camp once, Im quite comfortable being nude. But the interesting part about this nudist camp was the rules they had. Among rules such as: the only piece of clothing allowed are socks and shoes, unless the weather is too cold and you need to wear more... Well, there was also this rule: erections are OK. They are a normal reaction, and are not problematic as long as people keep their hands to themselves. Oh, no single men were allowed at the camp though, we all had to be in couples. But anyway, my point is that erections were totally acceptable, and normal.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (15 September 2014):

janniepeg agony auntYour fear is being made fun of, it's the unknown and of the future. If I see an erect penis I would try not to look and be pleasant about it. There is a reason why it's all women and there is a double standard. It's all liberation and celebration of different kinds of natural beauty for women. For men, when do you last hear that an erection is something to celebrate about? I don't have an answer for you. The obvious should be if you are not having fun then don't go. You do see a point in those parties, which is to release the conditioning of sex guilt and body covering. I guess the only way to get rid of this fear is time and getting used to it. Try to think of how tribal members live and don't have this problem.

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