Did I bring all this on myself?
Q. When i was going out with my boyfriend, we went through this phase of him liking someone else. And after a while, we got back together, after he apologized and he came back. So some time later, we were kissing and making out and stuff and then i ...
A. 3 December 2009: He could claim that he thought you meant yes.
Unfortunately in court, not saying No, means yes.
However, you really need to get away from this boy.
He's prepared to do that so what else is he willing to do?
Please just cut contact with ... (read in full...)
What would make him accuse my brother of taking his wallet? Should I be alarmed?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for one month now. I find that i have huge commitment issues and usually read way more into a situation than needed but keep my feelings to myself. I thought things were going fine until he lost his ...
A. 2 December 2009: Ok, fair enough. But that doesn't mean he has to trust him like you do.
I still don't quite get what you want to get in answer to your question.
This is not really a problem at all, it's just a bit unpleasant for you to be stuck in the mid... (read in full...)
Did I bring all this on myself?
Q. When i was going out with my boyfriend, we went through this phase of him liking someone else. And after a while, we got back together, after he apologized and he came back. So some time later, we were kissing and making out and stuff and then i ...
A. 2 December 2009: No. You told him to stop and he didn't. But you do say that you "gave in."
If by that you meant you gave consent then he hasn't legally done anything wrong.
But the fact he pressured you like that and didn't respect you means he's really not ... (read in full...)
He wants the benifits of marriage without the piece of paper
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I'm a woman of 35 and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I have never lived with anyone but he has been married before (amicable breakup though, a long time ago). He wants us to sell our properties and live togethe...
A. 2 December 2009: Yep, I think you have to take a stand on this.
Tell him you have a biological clock and can't take a gamble on not having kids.
Put his house on the rental market and invite him to move in with you. Tell him it will be for 6 months. At the e... (read in full...)
My ex is texting me, why, when he broke up with me
Q. why is my recent ex-boyfriend texting me when he currently has a girlfriend whom he starting seeing right after our break up?...
A. 2 December 2009: Maybe he's bored of his rebound girl and thinks you will sleep with him as well.
Maybe he misses you.
Maybe he's hoping enough time has past and he'd like to be friends.
Maybe he's working his way up to asking for his CD's back.
Why do... (read in full...)
My Latin Lover has become a Latin Monster
Q. I am a Canadian woman, late-20’s, and dated an Italian man for just over three years. At first it was magnificent, the hand holding, gentle face touches, dancing in the dark, romantic romantic romantic. We moved in together and it was downhill from ...
A. 2 December 2009: Yes all Italian men are psychotic. It's all about their DNA. That's why every picture you see of Italian women shows them with black eyes and broken teeth.
NO. DO NOT BE SO STUPID.
You are dating an abusive moron, and for some reason you have ... (read in full...)
His girlfriends says I have to stop texting him
Q. So I have this guy friend who I'm pretty close with and we always find ourselves texting each other hours at a time. The problem is his girlfriend texted me last week not asking me but telling me that I'm not allowed to text him... at all. Is s...
A. 2 December 2009: No, you should call him and tell him what she said and tell him you will wait for him to get back in touch when things are better. Then leave him to sort out their relationship.
If you are causing problems then you need to back off.
It's no... (read in full...)
I want to try a home cure, but am not sure about vinegar
Q. ok i have found out that i have a bladder infection from reading the sympthoms online and i was reading about home cures so it said to drink apple cider vinegar but we have white distilled and im wondering if it is the same thing can i just drink ...
A. 2 December 2009: I think drinking vinegar will most likely just make you throw up.
If you have an infection, you can either wait for it to clear up and help it along the way by drinking cranberry juice.
Or you can do the sensible thing and SEE A DOCTOR!!!!!
... (read in full...)
What would make him accuse my brother of taking his wallet? Should I be alarmed?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for one month now. I find that i have huge commitment issues and usually read way more into a situation than needed but keep my feelings to myself. I thought things were going fine until he lost his ...
A. 2 December 2009: He doesn't know your brother and if the wallet is gone then it's natural and normal to suspect it's been stolen.
Just because he's going out with you doesn't mean he automatically respects trusts and adores your brother.
If you don't like being... (read in full...)
Is this emotional abuse from my sister?
Q. hey, since i was born (20 yrs ago) my sister hasnt liked me at all, my mum says she was jealous when i was born, she's 24, aka 4 years older then me, ever since i can remember she has beaten me up, my first memory is when i was about 3 years ol...
A. 2 December 2009: Yes violence and being emotionally abused is not good.
You could have had your parents done for neglect, or you could have had your sister done for assault.
But you didn't.
It's over now and you don't have to see her again so try to move on ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't open up or relinquish some control!
Q. I am in a 10 month relationship with my girlfriend. We have been living together for 4 months now. My problem is that ever since things have been slowly going downhill. She is a control/clean(ing) freak, she never wants to visit with people or do ...
A. 1 December 2009: So you're going to do nothing and stay miserable rather than sorting this out?
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I need your help! How can I get my boyfriend to stop having sex with me until we are married?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and almost 2 months. In the beginning we completely fell in love with each other and had so much fun together. We first had sex together about 2 and a half weeks after we had started dating. We ...
A. 30 November 2009: You moved in with him SUPER fast.
You may have mistaken the first rush of romance for true love.
The thing is that love doesn't make a good relationship. It takes time and effort on both sides.
If you think withholding sex will bri... (read in full...)
Am I being emotionally used?
Q. One of my best friends is a girl who I have really, really come to like. We spend a lot of time together. Often times I think we spend more time together than her and her boyfriend. And therein lies my problem. I'll admit, it's a common one so ...
A. 30 November 2009: Yep, you are there being nice to her and telling her she's lovely.
Her boyfriend's just there for the lusty stuff on the side.
So if you want her, tell her how you feel, and tell her you can't continue to just be her friend.
Tell her you wa... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel distant towards him for the way he treated me?
Q. My boyfriend of almost two years came with me to visit my mother and brothers for Thanksgiving. The first 3 days were great, he was sweet, he did not accuse me of anything or call me bad names. Then on the third night, he needed cash at a...
A. 30 November 2009: Right, here is where I knew you need to dump him. Second line in:
"The first 3 days were great, he was sweet, he did not accuse me of anything or call me bad names."
Do you really think that a guy is being super dooper extra NICE when he is ... (read in full...)
Where are the best places to meet guys who want a relationship?
Q. Hi... I have been on this site for a couple months i think, used it before and have given advice. I just want to ask where are the best places to meet guys who want a relationship? I'm 28, with an Asian background and rarely meet guys, and dont ...
A. 30 November 2009: Well you can try the dating sites. There are a few that specialise in relationships rather than cheap dates.
Either that or it's just a case of getting out and meeting friends of friends.
Join some clubs or volunteer doing something, make ... (read in full...)
He's either sleeping or at work, how do I make him see how neglected I feel?
Q. I'm a military wife, I met my husband in highschool and we've been married for 3 years now. He's working a lot more now so most of the time its just my almost 3 year old daughter and I. The continuous work used to bother me, now I don't care. Part ...
A. 30 November 2009: Cheating on him will just make him end this. Things are already bad so hurting him won't make it better.
I think the idea of walking out is the best one. Leave him a long letter explaining how you feel and why you have gone. Make it clear that you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't open up or relinquish some control!
Q. I am in a 10 month relationship with my girlfriend. We have been living together for 4 months now. My problem is that ever since things have been slowly going downhill. She is a control/clean(ing) freak, she never wants to visit with people or do ...
A. 30 November 2009: So you say "we need to talk" and she says "everything is fine" and you just back off. Or she shouts and you just shut up.
You need to push this more.
Tell her that everything is not fine. But you have to stay calm when talking to her and not y... (read in full...)
Six dates and no hug, no holding hands nor kissing so far!
Q. Hey, there is this girl (22) I (25) date, we have seen each other about 8 times, 6 times one on one - which resembles a date for me. Yesterday I cooked for her. She looked me up on facebook, is active in the communication part, asks me when I want ...
A. 30 November 2009: Ahhh, that might have been useful to know up front. I have to say that I'm not affectionate with my family but I'm super affectionate with the men I date because they AREN'T family.
The signs to look for to get in that kiss moment:
Give he... (read in full...)
I'm always the friend and never the girlfriend. How can I change this around?
Q. I dont get it, I'm always the friend to a boy, never the girlfriend and I hate it, its always "you're a great friend" or "I love you as a friend" never "I just love you" any tips on getting them to change their minds x thanks for the time ...
A. 29 November 2009: Oh hun, you sound just like me when I was your age.
None of the boys liked me and I used to get so sad about it wondering why.
But it does get better. Boys are just stupid and go for the girls who look most like the girls in magazines.
A... (read in full...)
I am a girl crushing on my Lady teacher
Q. i think im in love with my teacher but i dont now the only problem is shes a girls and older than me im confussed and need help ...
A. 29 November 2009: This is one of the most commonly asked questions on here.
Yes it's perfectly normal to have crushes on girls and women at your age.
It could well be a phase as your hormones have kicked in and will make you fancy anything that moves.
It cou... (read in full...)
Houston, I think I have a "space" problem
Q. what does it mean when my wife says 'i need my own space'?...
A. 29 November 2009: It means she wants space.
She wants a bit of her own life to be her and not just MRS someone or MUM.
It all depends on the context really and since you don't give any more information it's hard to give any more help.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Twenty years later my abusive ex is still following me
Q. After you have left an abusive relationship that lasted 20 years, and you left nearly 2 years ago, why would the abusive person stil seem to try and follow you around even when they have got a new girlfriend?...
A. 29 November 2009: The reason he's following you around is because he's a nutter that abuses women.
If he won't stop then go to the police and get a restraining order.
Stalking is illegal in the UK.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
My sick boyfriend is ignoring me, so I am ignoring him back
Q. My boyfriend has been ill all week, but he's just started to ignore me. For the past couple of days he hasn't replied to my texts and I haven't heard from him at all. I stopped texting him about a day ago because I thought he was trying to tell m...
A. 29 November 2009: He's sick.
If you really want texts saying that he's on the loo emptying his guts out of his bum then great.
But he's probably too much of a gentleman and is instead staying ASLEEP!
Leave the poor guy alone and stop over thinking everything... (read in full...)
Six dates and no hug, no holding hands nor kissing so far!
Q. Hey, there is this girl (22) I (25) date, we have seen each other about 8 times, 6 times one on one - which resembles a date for me. Yesterday I cooked for her. She looked me up on facebook, is active in the communication part, asks me when I want ...
A. 29 November 2009: If it hasn't happened then surely, as the man, it might be because YOU haven't tried it yet??
Try something and see what happens.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Will his record sabotage everything I worked for?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 22 years old with my BS in Criminal Justice. When I was 18 i worked for a Police Department and now currently work for another department. My parents have always been pretty strict with me, which has alot to do with my success....
A. 29 November 2009: Unless he's on some kind of sex offenders register then I don't see how it will be a problem.
You parents clearly want the best for you and have worked hard to make that happen. (It's not nice to have to be strict to your kids when you just wan... (read in full...)
I was not the teacher's pet, I was the teacher's flirt
Q. A year or so ago, i had some problems with a teacher (lets call him Mr H). Essentially he behaved very innappropriately with me, touching and other worse things. This teacher was married and in his mid forties. There is one thing about it that co...
A. 29 November 2009: What they discussed is probably this:
Mr K: What the hell are you doing???
Mr H: Whine whine, it's not like that, my wife doesn't understand me, [insert excuses for touching up a student here]
Mr K: Teenage girls may fall for that shit but I ... (read in full...)
I was bitten by a dog, and am now worried about scarring!
Q. This is completely non-relationship related, but I needed some advice. I got bit on the tip of my nose by a dog a week ago. It bled, I put ice on it straight away and my boyfriend called an ambulance, I ended up going on antibiotics straight away ...
A. 29 November 2009: Doctors tend to know what will scar and what won't because they see the injury and know what needs further surgery and what doesn't.
It's going to loo a hell of a mess now because it's swollen. Faces don't react well to having men shoving knives a... (read in full...)
She won't accept that I love her
Q. My girlfriend keeps saying I don't love her. Its getting annoying, because I keep telling her that I do, but she just responds with "nope". What can I say to prove that I love her so she will stop. I love her very much, and I wish she knew I did!...
A. 29 November 2009: Woo!!
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
She won't accept that I love her
Q. My girlfriend keeps saying I don't love her. Its getting annoying, because I keep telling her that I do, but she just responds with "nope". What can I say to prove that I love her so she will stop. I love her very much, and I wish she knew I did!...
A. 28 November 2009: I'd get annoyed with her and say "fine, if you won't believe me then I don't want to be with you. If you don't trust me then what's the point. If you decide that you want to trust me and accept that I do love you then call me. But I can't take this ... (read in full...)
I'm tormented by the fact that she's had a 'bigger' man than I
Q. My girlfriend has just recently told me (because my dum ass ask) that she was with a guy so thick she felt pain and once had to see the doctor. to me is like (lucky bastard) i guess i think that's like every man's dream to be able to just do that to ...
A. 28 November 2009: Seriously? You think it would be good to be so big that you can't please your girlfriend, and that she won't have sex with you?
I know a guy who met a girl and he was just too big for her. In the end he had to dump her because she refused to have ... (read in full...)
Things changed for him when we moved in together, he went and I am left holding the bag
Q. I've been with my boyfriend since February. things were going great. he came to my mums wedding, held my hand when i was in hospital recently and we moved in together 5 weeks ago. he's an only child and has lived away from home before now but i...
A. 28 November 2009: You will be strong enough to move eventually, so stay as long as you can afford to.
In answer to your other question, yes, there are decent men out there who are emotionally mature enough to deal with commitment.
You just got unlucky and pick... (read in full...)
Sex in the car didn't feel right to him...what's going on?
Q. ok, so heres alittle backround..i have been with him for two years, and we had sex for the first time a year and a half ago. We have never had problems with it, and it has never interfered with our relationship. However, we have done it in ...
A. 28 November 2009: The poor boy probably just wasn't in the mood!
Everyone has times when they aren't in the mood.
He just wanted to hang out with you. Be glad you have a guy who likes you as a person and not just as someone to have sex with.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I'm proposing to my wife that we "float" our relationship. What do you think?
Q. My marriage is in serious trouble after 15 years. We have 2.5 years old lovely daughter, which naturally makes things more complex. I am considering proposing that we would "float" our relationship. Here's how I think it could work: We continu...
A. 28 November 2009: So basically, you are saying you want to date to remind yourself that you could have it worse?
That is really really stupid.
Because after 15 years you are not going to be able to match that "new exciting" feeling you get from meeting someone... (read in full...)
Help me... I want the life back that I just lost...
Q. I am in hell. 2 months ago in one fell swoop i lost my partner of 2 and a half years, my job, my home (we ran and lived in a pub together), and my dog. I was left penniless, with 2 children (not his), nothing to focus on and living at my parents ...
A. 28 November 2009: That sounds awful. I couldn't imagine going back to my parents. No wonder your depression isn't shifting!
Right, so you need to make a list of what kind it would take to get your life back.
1. Is obviously a job of some kind that would pay e... (read in full...)
Why does work make personal lives so complicated?
Q. It seems to me like work bills money all this man made crap kills every relationship out there. i really really dont want to end up like this if i ever get married i dont want to get divorced i dont id hate it. the only thing that comes to mind when ...
A. 28 November 2009: So what is your question?
You don't give any details, or even an actual problem.
You seen to be worried that your job and money worries, could cause an imaginary wife to leave you.....
The answer is to work hard and get established and qual... (read in full...)
3 weeks of dating, am I just another girl?
Q. i have been going on dates with this guy for 3 weeks now. how am i supposed to know if he really likes me or if i am just another girl?...
A. 28 November 2009: You don't - that's just the fun of dating.
However, if you get the feeling you are just another girl then there is nothing wrong with telling him you aren't happy and want to split up. "I just get the feeling I'm one more girl to you and I'm actu... (read in full...)
Things changed for him when we moved in together, he went and I am left holding the bag
Q. I've been with my boyfriend since February. things were going great. he came to my mums wedding, held my hand when i was in hospital recently and we moved in together 5 weeks ago. he's an only child and has lived away from home before now but i...
A. 28 November 2009: No, he hid this and he played the part of loving boyfriend.
Rather than sorting things out when he had doubts, he acted normal and let it get too much and now he's run away.
I think you need to have a good cry, let it all out and then when yo... (read in full...)
Need help! Love/attention addiction.
Q. Is anyone familiar with "love addiction"? Like the need for attention/love/affection? As if it's a drug. Dr Drew (the celebrity therapist) was talking about it as a form of sex addiction. But just because you crave love doesn't mean you crave se...
A. 28 November 2009: Yep this kind of thing is called being "needy." Or some lesser versions are known as being "a girl."
I know I'm stereotyping you because you're American and you think you need therapy for something that is just part of every day life... but COME... (read in full...)
Moving too fast?
Q. okay so i went to the movies with this guy that i really liked and he fingered me then asked me out... was that to soon?? should i take it slower??...
A. 28 November 2009: The best rule you can learn as a girl is that you have to get commitment before giving anything away if that is what you want.
Letting him finger you before going out with him could have a disaster if you like him. He could have lost respect ... (read in full...)
He wants to go to "next base." What does this mean exactly?
Q. My boyfriend and I have only kissed (not made out) and he said maybe we could "go to the next base" But I was always told 1st base was making out, so what do you think he means? Haha....
A. 26 November 2009: Ask him!
He may have different ideas to us so talk to him.
You need to be able to communicate with your boyfriend REALLY well if you are going to start getting physical.
Decide what you are ready for and not ready for and let him know. Se... (read in full...)
What can I do to make her realise that my life isn't really one to envy?
Q. ok at the weekend there me and my friend sort of had a heart to heart. I had went down to her house to get ready to go out and we had a bottle of wine as usual, then we sort of had a conversation which left me really ocnfused. She just came out wi...
A. 26 November 2009: Just talk about her... Encourage her a bit and make her see she can do anything. Her life isn't over just because she settled down a bit early.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
In love with a married women but should I wait for her?
Q. I am new to this site and have a few questions that I am hoping to get help with. I have been having an affair with a married woman for almost 9 months. She is fantastic. Neither of us thought we would ever be in this situation ever. ...
A. 25 November 2009: I'll give you the same advice I would give to a woman seeing a married man.
She has absolutely no reason to leave her husband.
All the things she doesn't get from him, she gets from you.
She's in the perfect position at the moment and doesn'... (read in full...)
Is this guy actually interested or not?
Q. I met a guy on the bus exactly a week ago Basically, something that happened on the bus made me laugh and I really couldn't stop laughing! We were squashed up at the front of the bus as it was rush hour so there wasn't any seats. Anyway, he laugh...
A. 25 November 2009: He's probably just been busy. Or he's a serial killer and has been sent to prison. Or he's caught swine flu. Who knows!!
You shouldn't be pinning all your hopes for happiness on some random guy you've spent exactly 5 minutes with.
If you want a... (read in full...)
What can I do to make her realise that my life isn't really one to envy?
Q. ok at the weekend there me and my friend sort of had a heart to heart. I had went down to her house to get ready to go out and we had a bottle of wine as usual, then we sort of had a conversation which left me really ocnfused. She just came out wi...
A. 24 November 2009: I think it's not your life she envies, she wasn't saying that you have it easy compared to her.
What she meant was that she is jealous of the WAY you live your life. Also you are free while she is tied down with kids and everything.
You are... (read in full...)
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