A
female
age
41-50,
*aybmad
writes:I am in hell. 2 months ago in one fell swoop i lost my partner of 2 and a half years, my job, my home (we ran and lived in a pub together), and my dog. I was left penniless, with 2 children (not his), nothing to focus on and living at my parents house in London. I am 31, I was living in a beautiful country village, I haven't lived at home for 10 years. my family are overbearing. I can't get over my ex and yes i am on antidepressants. I just don't know what to do, how to carry on... people tell me to 'cheer up', if you understand depression then you'll know that its not that simple. People will tell me to 'focus on my kids, its all about them'. that's fair enough, i love my kids to pieces, but it's hard to focus on anything when the slightest little thing can have you break down in tears.I have no friends where I am now, just family who I tend to get on better with at a distance. I have no job here, the schools are no good for my kids. I want the life back that I just lost.help me..... I am going crazy, I don't know what to do for the best.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 November 2009):
That sounds awful. I couldn't imagine going back to my parents. No wonder your depression isn't shifting!
Right, so you need to make a list of what kind it would take to get your life back.
1. Is obviously a job of some kind that would pay enough rent to get you living alone, back with your friends.
You have management experience, you ran a pub, you could do lots of things. Head online and check out opportunities in the area you want to be in.
Would the pub company give you another franchise? They are fairly keen on women landlords, it was on the news the other day.
Whatever you do, make sure it's YOUR name on the paperwork. You need to make sure that YOU have security and never live under the shaddow of a man who can throw you out again.
Depression cannot be solved by "cheering up" but it CAN be fought against. It's a disease and you have to see it like you'd see any other bug. Something to work hard to overcome, with time, being nice to yourself, and positive action.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Sorry to hear that. It is painful and it does take time to get over these depressions that you're having. It takes time...all you need is time..
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