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This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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16 July 2011: The following was forwarded to me by a member of my church. It is adapated from a book: "Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work" I believe its worth passing on: "Dr. John gottman can predict with 96% accuracy within the first three minu...
A few things I've learned......
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 November 2010: Often we get posts from men and women who are wondering whether to ask their boyfriend or girlfriend "where do we stand"? Based on my own observations, and having been in situations such as this in the past, I have come to think its generally ...
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Is he not interested in my replies?
Q. I hate what he is doin'.when he txts me, i reply, but when i reply he takes long time to txt again, is he not interested with ma replies.this guy told me that he loves me.but i said no to him.now i'm catching feelings for him.is he really ...
A. 7 March 2011: You should RELAX! Look: he sends you a text, you reply and then you say he takes a long time to respond.
Just how long are we talking about? Does he reply the next day, after two or three days, a week?
If he responds within a week, you've n... (read in full...)
Returning from deployment and know that the LDR I've been in doesn't have a future
Q. heres my situation im curently deployed and bout to return to the states iv been seeing this girl sence i left the states weve only corasponded threw email and chat i honestly dont see it working out between us but she a good person and dont wanna ...
A. 7 March 2011: Well, however you end it there's no question but that it will hurt - UNLESS, that is, she thinks there's no future in it, and has come to that conclusion on her own.
All you can really do is to phone her and tell her you appreciate her friendsh... (read in full...)
A guy fell for the 'fake' me on Facebook
Q. 6 months ago in september, i created a fake facebook profile with a fake name and fake pictures of a girl. In september i met this guy and we started a relationship. Now he is very serious and wants me to visit him, we almost make 6 months, i need ...
A. 7 March 2011: What on earth possessed you to invent a profile and put it on facebook in the first place??
Can't say I'm a fan of facebook to begin with; I have an account but zero info. The account is to keep up with my cousin and her daughters & granddau... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend who is probably getting married to the wrong girl..
Q. Hi, I am in love with my best friend whom I have know for like over 4 years. We were attracted to each other 4 yrs ago but nothing ever happened. Then we started seeing other people. I broke up with my guy a year ago and he has been having issu...
A. 6 March 2011: ......"I knw we will be happy together..." Sorry, but the fact is you THINK you'll be happy together; you WANT to be happy together, but there's just one small problem.
He has made his choice - twice. I do realize that's not at all easy to accep... (read in full...)
One week we are so in love, the next week everything has changed?
Q. Hey everyone My question or advice requirement is as follows Over 6 months ago I met a beautiful stunning girl who was from USA - she was working in Manchester and I live in London We had an amazing time and it got serious quick, we chatte...
A. 6 March 2011: Yes, you did move too fast in telling her you were in love with her, and it scared her off.
As Aunt Honesty and auntie Caylie both said, the best thing to do now is leave her be until she returns after five weeks. Then you might send a casual, ... (read in full...)
The man I am dating and planning to marry has a fetish for shemales. I worry about my future. What should I do?
Q. Hi I have read some similar subject as mine but I need some advice, or get some idea of what this is or not? It is important for my future. My friend now for a couple of years has an interest in shemales. In fact, after four years of marriage -so...
A. 5 March 2011: I'm not a guy, but maybe more of them will respond.
Quite frankly, what you posted since your first messsge only demonstrates even more strongly (as if the "evidence" wasn't convincing enough beforehand) what poor boyfriend material he is - let al... (read in full...)
Can you access facebook if you are incarcerated?
Q. Ok I got a question for you...can you comment and access your facebook account if you are incarcerated??? I am confused because I have a friend who told me he is in jail (in new jersey if that helps) and he is commenting on posts on his facebook ...
A. 5 March 2011: I tried to Google your question and can't get any information. I suggest you call your local jail and put the question to an official there. You could do so anonymously if you want....... (read in full...)
The man I am dating and planning to marry has a fetish for shemales. I worry about my future. What should I do?
Q. Hi I have read some similar subject as mine but I need some advice, or get some idea of what this is or not? It is important for my future. My friend now for a couple of years has an interest in shemales. In fact, after four years of marriage -so...
A. 5 March 2011: I really do hope that the "good feeling you have" does NOT continue to blind you to the grim realities of your situation! Face it: he is NOT going to change or give up his fetish, even if you get married. Not only that, you can't be sure he... (read in full...)
How long should he take to confess his love to me?
Q. How long does it normally take him to say he loves you and mean it? I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 months and I'm pretty certain he loves me as much as I love him, but I'm not sure whether to wait for him to admit it first or whether I ...
A. 5 March 2011: You've been dating him for two months? It's WAY too soon to say you love him or to expect him to say it to you.
It takes time - a lot of time - to really get to know another person and discover whether or not the two of you are compatib... (read in full...)
I just don't know what to make of her behaviour!
Q. Pls help me. I am really upset. Please :'( I have loved her like crazy for 4 years. We started uni 4 years ago together. I was a Pakistani and she was too. I fell in love with her. She did not love me. I made her say yes to me after a lot of effor...
A. 5 March 2011: Oh boy, she really has been playing games with you!
It's incredibly bad that she would agree to have sex with you but then turn round and call you a rapist!
By the way, I thought that Pakistan being a strict Muslim country having sex outsi... (read in full...)
How do I deal with losing the love of my life?
Q. I met this guy two years ago when i was at the university and he was working. We dated till last year that is dec 12 when we decided to give our relationship a break after a misunderstanding. On 15 dec he sent me an sms inviting me to his place ...
A. 5 March 2011: I'm so sorry to hear about your truly horrible experience with this man and the woman from your village.
You say he's the love of your life and you're unhappy at losing him? I hate to say this, but you should be GLAD you've lost him! I'm seri... (read in full...)
Has he lost interest? my boyfriend is ignoring me, not texting me.
Q. my boyfriend has been acting mean to me lately. We've been going out for one year and two months now. He doesn't seem to care about me any more. At school he barely talks to me and he doesn't Text me. We don't hold hands or kiss much. He tal...
A. 5 March 2011: Unfortunately, it sounds to me as if you can consider him to be your ex-boyfriend at this point.....
I know its very upsetting and hurtful, but the best thing you can do is hold your head high, and just ignore him, the same way he's ignoring... (read in full...)
My friends are acting VERY weird after my break-up. From trying to set me up with a terminally ill patient to inviting me for a threesome!!
Q. Ok--this is kind of weird. Bear with me, please. I just split up with my partner of 6 years. I'm pretty upset over it. Most of my friends have been very supportive, but 2 of them (a couple) have started acting just plain weird. 1--they trie...
A. 5 March 2011: These are "friends" you need in the same way you "need" an excrutiating and persistent headache!
In other words, they're no friends at all. I think it would be a good idea to cut contact with them - at least for the next several months and see ... (read in full...)
The man I am dating and planning to marry has a fetish for shemales. I worry about my future. What should I do?
Q. Hi I have read some similar subject as mine but I need some advice, or get some idea of what this is or not? It is important for my future. My friend now for a couple of years has an interest in shemales. In fact, after four years of marriage -so...
A. 4 March 2011: In my opinion, marrying him - or continuing to date him - is a losing proposition for you. As others have noted, its highly unlikely - in fact you can bet on it - that he's not going to change his behavior, and you'll end up thoroughly miserable.
... (read in full...)
The man I am dating and planning to marry has a fetish for shemales. I worry about my future. What should I do?
Q. Hi I have read some similar subject as mine but I need some advice, or get some idea of what this is or not? It is important for my future. My friend now for a couple of years has an interest in shemales. In fact, after four years of marriage -so...
A. 4 March 2011: In my opinion, marrying him - or continuing to date him - is a losing proposition for you. As others have noted, its highly unlikely - in fact you can bet on it - that he's not going to change his behavior, and you'll end up thoroughly miserable.
... (read in full...)
We were engaged, broke up, I contacted him, he sent me a Valentine's gift and message. I rejected him, but I still love him! What should I do?
Q. I had a boyfriend. After a year and a half he proposed. We were engaged for 4 months and we broke up because he started a business with his family and told me nothing about it. I didn't like it because he was totally invested in it and practically ...
A. 4 March 2011: He broke up with you twice.
After your honest response to his Valentine's day message he brushed you off once more. No doubt his pride was hurt, but if he was really serious, he could have replied with a more honest response as to how he sees you... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I just don't want to be with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 and a half years. I do love him, but I'm not in love with him. Sense about a year into the relationship I have wanted out. But we already lived together and have a dog, so its hard. Everyone probably thinks ...
A. 4 March 2011: Since you have already expressed your disastisfaction to your bf and nothing has changed, you'll just have to sit down with him and tell him its not working and you intend to move out.
Make sure you have a new apartment to go to and can manage y... (read in full...)
How do I show this jerk in a classy manner that I have moved on?
Q. Okay guys. My question is how do you handle a guy who has been ignoring you for the past two months. He liked me but then ran away because he was in another relationship and couldn't handle his feelings. So now he is back in the picture. He just...
A. 2 March 2011: Before I read Caring Guy's response I was going to say the most classy way to show you've moved on is to ignore him - completely.
So there you have it from an "uncle" and from an "aunt"... (read in full...)
I told him I loved him at the 11th hour and now it's too late!
Q. The guy I've been seeing who wanted me to open up to him is now giving it another go with his ex. I feel rubbish. I wish i opened up to him earlier. He said he thought it was a bit of fun between us coz i never told him my feelings. He tried talking ...
A. 2 March 2011: Yes, that is hard, and its not surprising you feel sad and gutted.
Think of it this way, though: perhaps the fact that you didn't tell him how you felt sooner was because in your unconscious, something was trying to protect you........ (read in full...)
I'm falling for a guy, but he's moving in 4 months!
Q. Okay, hi, so I met this boy on halloween last year, and since then i think the longest we've gone wothout speaking has been something like 3 days? We always talk, about nothing and rubbish, and i was wondering why it wasn't going anywhere. Just ...
A. 1 March 2011: Tnat's the spirit!... (read in full...)
I want to win him back, what is the best thing to do?
Q. please let me know what you think about my situation - any advice is welcomed. last night my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. he started university the other side of the country last September and we talk three nights a week to give him...
A. 1 March 2011: His priority now IS and HAS TO BE his studies! We're talking about his future here - his ability to get and keep a good job when he graduates.
And what about YOUR future? Are you in college, or taking classes? Are you working? Equally importan... (read in full...)
He stood me up because he fell asleep! What should I do?
Q. This guy that i've been crushing on recently wanted to catch up with me for coffee. He said he would call me around noon and we'd decide on a place... I got ready and waited and waited...he didn't pick up my call and i got a message after 4 ...
A. 1 March 2011: Unless he has a night job that doesn't allow him to go to bed until early morning, or had some sort of emergency -i.e., he had to take a relative or friend to the local hospital in the wee hours of the morning, and stay with them all night - then ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a guy, but he's moving in 4 months!
Q. Okay, hi, so I met this boy on halloween last year, and since then i think the longest we've gone wothout speaking has been something like 3 days? We always talk, about nothing and rubbish, and i was wondering why it wasn't going anywhere. Just ...
A. 1 March 2011: Well, if your friend is going to return to London soon, the best you can hope for is that he MIGHT come back to Spain for a holiday, or you might visit London sometime yourself. If you have Skype you can have video "visits"; send IMs, emails, the ... (read in full...)
Should I take a break from this relationship?
Q. Yes lately it seems like I am always on this site lol! Anyways, the past month or so things have not been so good with me and my bf. We started seeing each other about 8 months ago, and were always exclusive from day 1. We never felt the need to ...
A. 1 March 2011: I suppose you could say he was extremely patient with her - more so than she or the situation warranted, in my opinion -
Now that he's with you he obviously considers you to be far superior to her - didn't he tell you you're better in every way than... (read in full...)
I texted "love you" and I haven't heard back.
Q. okay, so here is the deal. It's senior year and I found this guy within an old group of friends. He goes to my old high school and somehow we found out that we are absolutley perfect for each other. We have such a great time together whether we are ...
A. 28 February 2011: Yes, you are overreacting. But its understandable with the stress of school coming to an end, and college looming in the future, not knowing whether or how often you'll be in touch when you go to college......not to mention the embarrassment of ... (read in full...)
Should I take a break from this relationship?
Q. Yes lately it seems like I am always on this site lol! Anyways, the past month or so things have not been so good with me and my bf. We started seeing each other about 8 months ago, and were always exclusive from day 1. We never felt the need to ...
A. 28 February 2011: You certainly are going through a rough time, not working or having much money. Are your parents in a position to help you financially until you can get on your feet?
It definitely wouldn't be a good idea to borrow money from him, even if he wa... (read in full...)
I'm fed up of feeling sorry for myself, but cant seem to forget about him! Help!
Q. This isn't a question. I am just going through a difficult patch and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I fell in love with a guy towards the end of last year (October/November time). He made it very clear that he didn't want anything se...
A. 28 February 2011: Its hard to know how to respond. You already realize this guy is not much of a catch Who knows why he wrote to you? Maybe as he said, he felt he owed you azn explanation and that you wouldn't be judgmental.
POSSIBLY he does at some level no... (read in full...)
I'm fed up of feeling sorry for myself, but cant seem to forget about him! Help!
Q. This isn't a question. I am just going through a difficult patch and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I fell in love with a guy towards the end of last year (October/November time). He made it very clear that he didn't want anything se...
A. 28 February 2011: Its hard to know how to respond. You already realize this guy is not much of a catch Who knows why he wrote to you? Maybe as he said, he felt he owed you azn explanation and that you wouldn't be judgmental.
POSSIBLY he does at some level no... (read in full...)
I'm fed up of feeling sorry for myself, but cant seem to forget about him! Help!
Q. This isn't a question. I am just going through a difficult patch and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I fell in love with a guy towards the end of last year (October/November time). He made it very clear that he didn't want anything se...
A. 28 February 2011: Its hard to know how to respond. You already realize this guy is not much of a catch Who knows why he wrote to you? Maybe as he said, he felt he owed you azn explanation and that you wouldn't be judgmental.
POSSIBLY he does at some level no... (read in full...)
Talking just doesn't exist for us anymore...why?
Q. I really don't know what to do anymore. My boyfriend and I just don't talk at all. We say a few things like "Hi" or "Come here" or "can i borrow something" stuff like that. But we never have a conversation. We go to the same school but we dont even ...
A. 27 February 2011: Perhaps you've both lost interest in being friends?... (read in full...)
She denied cheating on me, and I've gotten over that hurdle, but now I am losing her! Please help!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I met about 7 months ago. We only officially started dating about 3 months ago. Things were wonderful in the beginning. We got along so wonderfully, we would talk all night on the phone. We would ...
A. 27 February 2011: How did these other men get your email? Or did they post comments by text, or on Facebook?? I'm wondering how on earth they got hold of you.......would hardly think she gave them your info? Did you meet her in person or online?
It does seem ver... (read in full...)
I want to sneak my boyfriend into the house tonight
Q. I want to sneak my boyfriend over tonight. I have a house with one story and a basement. My room doesnt have a lot of hideing space so i though he could hide under my bed or behind my dresser. And if needed, jump out my window. I usually keep my ...
A. 26 February 2011: I've got a tip for you: DON'T do it! It's a foolish idea.
You're looking to fall into more trouble than you ever thought possible.... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem like I'm harrassing him, but he hasn't called yet
Q. I can not stop thinking about a man I worked for in my previous job. He helped me to leave as I was being severely bullied, he was the boss! While there I could feel a mutual attraction building between us. It became quite intense at the e...
A. 26 February 2011: I'm sorry to tell you this, but it doesn't sound as though he's all that interested.
Look: didn't he tell you to be more discreet? I know he was the one giving you the eye and initiating meetings, but he might have decided it was better to pull ... (read in full...)
He stopped calling me! Do I wait this out or do I call him?
Q. my boyfriend is not calling me or texting me and i dont know what happend its been a week now ,i am afraid to call him because he might think i can not live without him ,should i call him or i must wait until he calls?please help...
A. 25 February 2011: Did you and he have some sort of disagreement or unpleasantness?
Who last contacted whom?
If its been a week, I don't see why you shouldn't pick up the phone to say hello, how are you......but don't sound panicked as in in "why haven't I h... (read in full...)
I'm not opposed to a threesome but I feel the girl and my man might become a little too interested in each other...
Q. My wonderful boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years. He is very good looking, in beautiful shape, great eyes, and not to mention well endowed.. So, one night this past summer, we almost had a threesome with a girl he met first, but I ...
A. 25 February 2011: No, you're not being paranoid. If I were you I wouldn't have the threesome - and not have her in your home or around your bf too often, either!... (read in full...)
My online friend told me he's not ready to meet me. That's fine, but why is he ignoring my messages and phone calls now?
Q. I've known a guy now for many years over the internet, constantly talking and everything. We arranged to meet, but he pulled out at the last miniute, as he said, "he can't do this; he's not ready." In return, I sent numerous messages telling him not ...
A. 25 February 2011: If you have known him for many years online only, how come you haven't met long before now? How do you know he isn't married?
If he isn't married then it sounds as if he's not all that interested.
Anyway, why, when he said he wasn't ready to ... (read in full...)
Do breaks work?
Q. He wants to take a break. He's already made plans with a co-worker to find a new place for both of them, which implies signing a lease and agreeing to contribute to another household. I'm 7months preggo and I haven't been the easiest to get alon...
A. 24 February 2011: If you leave him - as he so richly deserves - you must make absolutely certain that he pays child support - even though this will be something he'll have to do for many years to come.
Please, go see a lawyer - or begin with talking to a social w... (read in full...)
He means the world to me. How can I get him to trust me?
Q. Hello :-) Right, i shall start from the begining so it makes more sense to you all. (whoever's reading) My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and at the begining of the relationship i was still talking to other boys (jus...
A. 24 February 2011: Caring Guy and Dirtball have hit the nail on the head. Please, take note of what they have told you!... (read in full...)
He means the world to me. How can I get him to trust me?
Q. Hello :-) Right, i shall start from the begining so it makes more sense to you all. (whoever's reading) My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and at the begining of the relationship i was still talking to other boys (jus...
A. 24 February 2011: Why on earth DON'T you want to lose him??!!
WHAT is there to "adore" about this man who is such a stinker?
You've been trying this for nine months now - give it up! (When it didn't work after the first month you'd already given him more t... (read in full...)
He is sooo important to me. Should I wait for him?
Q. so I was in a relationship with my best friend for almost 4 months, in which it was beginning to get pretty serious. about 3 weeks ago we got in a fight because I "flipped out" on him but it was a huge whole misunderstanding.. and from then on we ...
A. 23 February 2011: Well, look: his idea was to take a couple weeks for BOTH of you to think about what you want in a relationship, right?
So, why don' you attempt to do just that? Think about what YOU want - not just with him, but in any relationship: what are... (read in full...)
Boyfriend at uni 200 miles away and I rarely see him...
Q. My boyfriend moved to uni, 200 miles from me.. ever since his been down ther ive always asked him to come down or ill go down to him.. its been 5months since he left and in that time ive only seen him twice... ive spoken to him about this and h...
A. 23 February 2011: I'm afraid you have ALREADY lost your boyfriend, by the sound of it, so that's one less thing you have to worry about.
I know that's hurtful and disappointing, but there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. It's not as if you haven't raised t... (read in full...)
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