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How do I deal with losing the love of my life?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2011)
A female Kenya age 36-40, *acquee writes:

I met this guy two years ago when i was at the university and he was working. We dated till last year that is dec 12 when we decided to give our relationship a break after a misunderstanding. On 15 dec he sent me an sms inviting me to his place claiming that he had secured me a job and since i was desparate i went.

I met him drunk and welcomed me wit blows demanding the things he used to give me while we were dating e.g an engagement ring, flowers and watch. I screamed and managed 2 escape and went to my friend who had to nurse me for three good days. I decided to keep it to myself because of my love for him and never to inform anyone.

Mid Jan he sent me a sms begging for forgiveness and another chance. I ignored his text though deep inside my heart i knew i loved him. Come Feb, he traced where i was staying with my friend and he came to our rental house. We talked and he said he learnt his mistakes and he was ready to rectify. We started seeing each other again though i never visited his place. Early this month he called me as usual around 6pm in the morning to wish me a nice day and to testify his undying love for me. After a short while i saw his call again and wen i answered the call it was a lady. She poured all the insults and threats on me. The guy later on sent me a text saying that the lady was the one who approached him and other excuses. I had to shed uncontrollable tears. I feel hurt, rejected, inferior and cheated. What is making me to cry more is when i have realized that the lady is from my village and she knew i was dating this guy. To add insult to injury she sent me a text today saying that she gets easily with what she likes and she was born lucky. I feel not worth living. whom do i turn to after losing the love of my life?

View related questions: a break, drunk, flowers, text, university

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A female reader, jacquee Kenya +, writes (5 March 2011):

jacquee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@Denise32. Thankz alot .This has been of great help to me

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (5 March 2011):

Denise32 agony auntI'm so sorry to hear about your truly horrible experience with this man and the woman from your village.

You say he's the love of your life and you're unhappy at losing him? I hate to say this, but you should be GLAD you've lost him! I'm serious!

The way he treated you when you went to see him - knocking you about, and demanding you return or pay for gifts he had given you - engagement ring, flowers, watch was absolutely inexcusable! You should NOT have kept it to yourself! Would it have done any good to inform the police, or your family, or anyone else in authority? Were you afraid that if you did, he would find out and try to do even worse, or that people wouldn't believe you??

In any case, you need to refuse to have any more to do with him, OR with the very strange woman who called you on the phone and was so verbally abusive......don't grieve over him, he's just not worth having as a boyfriend - and despite his telling you he's sorry and won't do it again, the truth is that with abusers - which he is - they tend to PROMISE they'll never hit you or insult you ever again - and the fact is, they always do. If you put up with it, it only encourages them to be more violent.

Please, don't see or talk to him ever again!!

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