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*d206 agony aunt


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Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx

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I am having a baby boy and I need help with names!

Q.   HELLO!! I am very excited, and I know this is a relationship site but I would very much appreciate your opinion? I am havinga baby boy in a like two weeks and me and my husband can't agree on the name. We want something powerful and I was think...

A.   18 February 2009: My boyfriend is called Andrew and he is the epitome of a good natured, strong, sweet, sensitive guy. I might be biased but I think Andrew is a great name for your baby Cat... (read in full...)

Do guys have mood swings like girls do???

Q.   I don't know, I just want your thoughts on this.. do guys have mood swings like girls do??? Lately I've had a high temper.. it seems that every stupid thing gets on my nerves... and since I was sick from a cold my eyes were always watering...

A.   14 February 2009: Absolutely, especially at your age. The reason women are famed for having mood swings is because they have fluctuating levels of hormones throughout the month whereas men don't get this as much once they're through puberty. However, when you're in ... (read in full...)

What can I use to treat an itchy foreskin?

Q.   The inside of the foreskin of my penis has been a bit itchy the last few days. I've paid extra attention to washing but it doesn't seem to go away and has become a bit red - not the head of the penis just the inisde of the foreskin. Tonight in was...

A.   13 January 2009: Sounds like a bit of thrush, nothing to worry about. Wash regularly there and use some anti fungal cream for a while. If you're still having problems after a week or so see the doc. Cat... (read in full...)

My little sister is obsessed when it comes to guys, how can I make her see sense?

Q.   Hey guys, I need some help... it's not for me but I'm really worried for my younger sister, she seems to absolutely obsessed when it comes to guys... she's only 15 and she does everything in her power to so called "pull". I love her so much but am ...

A.   8 January 2009: I totally agree with jimmorrison71. I also have a little sister who is 11 and a couple of months ago I caught herself cutting herself. When I asked her why she was doing it, she told me she was an emo in school and that she has to cut to be taken ... (read in full...)

Sexy Time?

Q.   Hey, I have been on a weeks course of antibiotics, 4 250mg ones a day, and I stop taking them tomorrow. I am going to my boyfriends on Sunday and he'll probably want to have sex because it's been so long since we last did. I am really concerned as ...

A.   8 January 2009: It depends on the particular antibiotic and pill to how long you should use another form of contraception for. You can find this out by reading the instructions in your pill packet. However, I haven't ever heard of a pill that is 100% effective only ... (read in full...)

Unsure about what kind of career move to make, LDR

Q.   Please help I am tied up in knots trying to make a decision about my future. I am currently living in the UK and drifting which is making me feel low but I am determined that this is the year I move my life on. I want to change career and I want ...

A.   8 January 2009: I'm not in the exact same situation but I see similarities between your situation and my own. I live a 2hr drive from my boyfriend because I couldn't find work when I graduated in the town he lives in. It's different to your situation because I do ... (read in full...)

Is it too hard making LDR's work when you don't see each other for weeks?

Q.   Hii, i just wondered if anyone has or is in the same situation i am soon going to be in. my boyfriend attends university about 2 hours away from home and has a place there in the halls of residence. he has recently been home here since the start of ...

A.   6 January 2009: Hey Carys, I'm totally in the same situation as you. Was friends with a guy until I moved away and then we got together and since we both work shift patterns we see each other at most once a month plus don't have uni holidays to fall back on. It's ... (read in full...)

How long does it take for the contraceptive pill to take effect?

Q.   So I'm on a birth control pill. I'm on it for medical reasons. I am not having sex and I don't plan to for a while. But I was wondering though how long does birth conrtol take to "kick in" as a contraceptive? (preventing pregancy)...

A.   5 January 2009: Doctors vary on the issue and I have been told different things by two doctors. One told me it was effective immediately and the other said it was best to wait a month. I went with the second because she was a woman who used the same pill and it ... (read in full...)

He hasn't told his parents about us. Should I let him do it in his own time?

Q.   My boyfriend wont tell his parents we are dating! We have been dating for 5 months. My boyfriends parents hate me. let me explain about it. About 2 years ago we were engaged to be married. i was going through alot. I had joined the military and...

A.   22 December 2008: This is kinda similar to my situation except my guy hurt me and when we got back together I was terrified to tell my parents cos I knew they hated him but to be honest I was surprised. Theyre not overly friendly to him but they can see he makes me ... (read in full...)

It will be a lonely Christmas if my sisters BF has to come to dinner.

Q.   I have been really looking forward to xmas but now im feeling depressed. The plan was to go to my mums for lunch like i do most years, the only difference being this year my sister has moved out and now lives with my mum and she has invited her boyf...

A.   19 December 2008: It depends what's more important to you, being with your family at christmas or continuing to dislike this guy. Maybe he'a changed since school and even if he hasn't, you need to make an effort to get along with him because your sister likes him. ... (read in full...)

Is it better the second time around?

Q.   Has anyone ever got together with an ex and it been better the second time around as you had learnt from certain mistakes? I may be getting back with my ex boyfriend and I feel that I have definitely learnt a big lesson, which came with a lot of ...

A.   14 December 2008: I got back together with an ex earlier this year and it is so far amazing but I guess in a lot of ways our situation is different to yours because we broke up years ago when I was going to uni since we thought it would be too hard to carry it on. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to shave around my vagina.

Q.   I want to too, but should I use hair removal cream or shaving cream? I have hair removal cream, but it says on the thing not to use around bikini/vagina areas.. should I anyway? What's the point of hair removal cream if you can't do it there? will ...

A.   20 November 2008: Hair removal cream does burn some people with sensitive skin but I've always found it's more of an uncomfortable tingly feeling. You can get special hair removal cream for the pubic area. Don't use what you've currently got as it could cause severe ... (read in full...)

I truly want a child and am willing to try anything

Q.   For two months now my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant. Everytime I think I'm pregnant I find out I'm not. For some reason my menstraul cycles are much longer than the normal 28 days. I went from having my period start on the 30th of ...

A.   4 November 2008: It can take much longer than 2 months to be pregnant. Some doctors suggest waiting for a year or even up to eighteen months if you've just come off the pill since it takes a while for your body to start functioning normally again. It's a tired ... (read in full...)

What's the difference in between making love and just plain sex?

Q.   is there a difference between making love and just plain sex? if so what is the difference?...

A.   4 November 2008: I wouldn't agree with eyeswideopen that you can only make love if you are 21 years or older. I fell in love for the first time when I was 16 and I know that when we had sex we were making love. I'm 24 now and it's still doubtless in my mind that we ... (read in full...)

Do I tell my parents exactly where this sleepover is?

Q.   I am invited to a sleepover tomorrow with 2 boys and 2 girls. I know them all well and we are all just FRIENDS. Nothing more and just want a good night in watching films and eating stuff. However, I don't know whether to tell my parents I am ...

A.   26 October 2008: In my experience parents will always find out if you don't tell them and then the trust is ruined for a really long time. I would tell them you want to go and think logically about how to argue your case maturely for if they say no. There is a ... (read in full...)

How do I turn him on?

Q.   Okay first of all, I don't want to have sex with him. Not yet, anyway. Maybe eventually. We've only been going out for 2 months and I'm only 15 and still a virgin. But I want him to know what he's missing. I want to make him groan and hold me ...

A.   26 October 2008: Try his collarbone. Not quite sure why but pretty much every guy I've ever been with cannot control himself when I kiss him there! CD... (read in full...)

What can I buy to get rid of this cold, I cant afford time off work?

Q.   How can I get rid of this stinking cold. Its been here a couple of days now, horrendous nose, cough, sore throat, headache. I started a job just over a week ago, I am really struggling with it as its a physical job and the hours they have me doing ...

A.   26 October 2008: I've always tried to struggle on through colds too. I know they make you feel rotten but I've always felt I might as well feel rotten and try to distract myself with work as stay at home and feel rotten and not get paid! I work in a hotel too so I ... (read in full...)

Why can't he just leave me alone so I can get over him???

Q.   My boyfriend dumped me for another girl a few weeks ago. He stopped talking to me for a while, then he sends me random messages like asking what a good dare is for truth or dare, or if I got my book back or whatever. Then a few days ago he sent...

A.   26 October 2008: Stop texting him back. I went out with a guy like that who wouldn't let me go even though he was with someone else. Sticking to not texting him back was impossible for the longest time but in the end I was glad I did it. You can't go on like this ... (read in full...)

Is it weird that I asked my mum to put in a tampon for me?

Q.   Hello, i am quite worried. I have had a period for 2 years, and i wanted to start using a tampon. i couldn't get it in, so i called my mom and she put it in for me. Is that really wierd :S I don't know, i'm just a bit freaked out....

A.   24 October 2008: I think it's natural to be embarassed about it but great that you're close enough to your mum to ask her for help. If this is something you would rather not repeat however, buy a box of applicator tampons. An applicator helps the tampon to get to ... (read in full...)

He really hurt me 'down there', how can I stop him from doing this again next time?

Q.   I really like my new boyfriend, and hes one of the best kissers i've ever been with, but last night when we were together, he started fingering me really hard and rough. It was much too painful to be enjoyable, and today i'm bruised and swollen ...

A.   24 October 2008: The last noter gave some great advice. You don't want to get into patterns of letting him do something to you that hurts you. However, I totally understand your embarassment about talking to him about it, especially given that you're approaching him ... (read in full...)

He really hurt me 'down there', how can I stop him from doing this again next time?

Q.   I really like my new boyfriend, and hes one of the best kissers i've ever been with, but last night when we were together, he started fingering me really hard and rough. It was much too painful to be enjoyable, and today i'm bruised and swollen ...

A.   24 October 2008: The last noter gave some great advice. You don't want to get into patterns of letting him do something to you that hurts you. However, I totally understand your embarassment about talking to him about it, especially given that you're approaching him ... (read in full...)

My family prefer my ex to my new wife.

Q.   my family dont seem to like my new wife and they still talk to my ex wife and go around me to her about things they would like to do with my son my wife is mad and rightly so what can i do...

A.   30 August 2008: I've always thought that divorce doesn't just affect the husband and wife and their kids but the whole family. If your family were close to your exwife before you divorced then it probably hit them as hard as it hit you except unlike you, they ... (read in full...)

I have a wonderful boyfriend,but I don't feel happy or like my emotions have changed!

Q.   OK,this month,I met a boy on the internet.He's 13, really sweet,and has always made me feel special.I asked him out yesterday,and this morning,he said yes.I was excited when he said yes,but it feels like nothing's changed.I don't feel different.I...

A.   29 July 2008: Maybe the reason you feel different is because you understand there is no chance of even meeting this guy any time soon. Long distance relationships are hard at the best of times but being in one at 13 having never even met except in cyber space ... (read in full...)

He's breaking up with me it okay to still have sex with him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are going to break up on a mutual decision even though I dont want to but he doesn't want the pressure of having a girlfriend. We still love each other more than anything in the world though. Is is alright if we still have sex? ...

A.   17 June 2008: First off is it really a mutual decision if you don't want it to happen? My guess is that you're being what he wants you to be in the hope that he'll change his mind. I think you're probably considering continuing to have sex with him for the same ... (read in full...)

I want to take our relationship to the next level, but I don't want to ruin it by being too intimate too soon

Q.   I've recently started dating a new guy that I'm really into. We've only known eachother about 2 weeks, but I haven't been this excited about a guy since my first crush. I can tell that we're both very attracted to each other (physically, ...

A.   15 June 2008: You've got a really sensible attitude about this so well done for that. There is no right or wrong answer as to how soon you should have sex. Some couples are ready on their first date, others take a bit longer. It's important to just go with the... (read in full...)

Advice on clamidia, please.

Q.   I split up with my partner about 6 months ago and we have started meeting up again and having sex. he found out that he had clamidia, so we both got antibiotics for it. however we had sex whilst still on the antibiotics with a condom and it split 2 ...

A.   15 June 2008: Speak to your local pharmacist. Different antibiotics act in different ways. Some start working within 24 hours, others need a full week to work, so you'll need to take further advice from a pharmacist or GUM doctor. Cat... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my size. Is it still puppy fat?

Q.   Hi there, this is more of a health question. I am 12 years old and 13 next year, and I am worried about my size (*hears all the people reading this sigh because this is written at least 50 times a week*) I know i am not fat, but i also know that i...

A.   15 June 2008: At 12 you still have a lot of growing to do. What used to happen with me was that I would pile on the weight and then grow a couple of inches then pile on a bit more and grow a bit more. By the time I was fourteen I stopped growing and I was a ... (read in full...)

Now he's in a relationship and I'm so confused!

Q.   Ok, my situation is fairly complicated so please try to read it all and understand it. Well, me and this lad have been friends for about 18 months now and we get on really, really well. He used to text me every single day, sometimes until the early ...

A.   3 June 2008: My inkling is that it was down to one of two things... either that you spent too much time talking and not enough time doing or tht he realised your age difference would be a problem. Wen you say stuff I assume we're talking sex. Maybe he wised up ... (read in full...)

It feels like he's cheated on me and the baby we lost. Is this relationship worth saving?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have just got back together after we broke up for about a year after i lost our baby, which really ripped us apart. We tried to stay together but we just couldn't. My mum even paid for us to go to spain for 2 weeks to try save ...

A.   23 May 2008: Sometimes, when something as tragic as the death of a child happens, the last person you can talk to about it is the very person you should be talking to. Should your boyfriend have gone running off to another girl to talk about the loss of your ... (read in full...)

Can you get pregnant the day you finish your period?

Q.   can you get pregnant the day you come off your period.?...

A.   19 May 2008: You can get pregnant on every single day of your cycle although it's more likely some days than others. The last day of your period is unlikely but not impossible.... (read in full...)

Am I gay?

Q.   can somebody help me please? im a lad and i think im turning gay because my girlfriend doesnt turn me on. but my friend (boy)when i see him i want to rip his clothes of i am always having sexual dreams and thought about him can somebody give me ...

A.   17 May 2008: Don't struggle to define yourself as straight or gay. You might be either one and at fifteen it's natural to be confused. Just be a person for a little while and try not to pigeonhole yourself as one or the other. It doesn't matter whether you're ... (read in full...)

How to tell the people I babysit for how I feel?

Q.   I babysit for a little boy for really nice people. I love the kid, and my family has known this family for years. My sisters babysat him from when he was a baby until he was 3 or 4 years old. The problem is his parents always call me last minute, ...

A.   17 May 2008: I don't think talking to the parents is a good move. There are plenty of people who would just put up with a list of complaints like that. That's the problem with being a babysitter, there are always plenty of people to take the gig away from you if ... (read in full...)

Tiredness is ruining my life, please help.

Q.   Hello, My question is about being tired. I am 19 and for as long as i can remember i have been tired. And i dont just mean a little bit, i am ALWAYS tired and it seriously affects my life. Half the time i dont have the energy to go out with my f...

A.   17 May 2008: Persist with the blood tests. I am quite seriously anaemic and a normal red blood cell ferritin count is anything between 20 and 60. I had three tests that put my ferritin level around 40 and then the last one I had put it at 2.... I think there is ... (read in full...)

He's asked me to have sex with him and I don't know what to say!

Q.   I recently just turned 16 and I really like this boy in my year. He is not the nicest looking but he is very nice to me and always complimenting me. I have liked him for a while and now he has asked me to have sex with him. I don't know what to say ...

A.   14 May 2008: My gut instinct is that you shouldn't. If this guy likes you why not get into a relationship and build up some mutual trust and respect befroe taking the plunge. You're so young and believe me, you have your whole life to have sex. It's always an ... (read in full...)

I blew him off due to family commitments and now I haven't heard from him. What shall I do?

Q.   I exchanged numbers with a guy at a party, and then we spoke over the phone everyday for about a week, making plans to meet up. He asked a few times to meet although I blew him off due to family commitments and now I have'nt heard off him. What ...

A.   9 May 2008: My hunch is that you made it seem like too much effort by refusing every time he tried to make plans. I think you can still save it. Maybe ask him out somewhere. He might play hard to get for a while but if he really likes you he'll come round ... (read in full...)

Do I have to tell my parents right away about our marriage plans?

Q.   My boyfreind whats to marry me, he wants to have a long engagment. Im totaly up for it and we are perfect with eachother I just wondering I dont have to tell my parents straight away do i? ...

A.   9 May 2008: I'm not sure the question here is do you have to but why don't you want you? Are you worried they will disapprove of your choice or your decision? Is there any chance they could find out from someone else if you don't tell them? Do you just not want ... (read in full...)

Constant stomach pain, Could it be serious?

Q.   Hi! I'm concerned about a stomach pain i've had for about 3 weeks! It's similar to period pain but not as low down, and the pain started as 'the time of the month' was approaching. Anyway they finished over a week ago and still... i'm havin ...

A.   26 April 2008: Does it feel like period pain exactly? My friend had this and it turned out to be an ovarian cyst which is not usually serious and can be treated using medicine or keyhole surgery. The best thing would be to speak to your doctor. While it's unlikely ... (read in full...)

I want to go abroad and teach for a short period, has anyone done this or know how I go about it?

Q.   Bit of a break from relationship worries... I want to go abroad and teach - one of those trips where you go to China or Argentinia and teach English. I don't want to have to pay for the trip - I will go as a volunteer, but a friend said you...

A.   26 April 2008: I did this although I only went as far as Spain. The British Council is an established company that can match you up with a placement. They will pay you to teach abroad. This varies from country to country but is more than enough to live on. You do ... (read in full...)

Is it harmful to swallow a man's discharge?

Q.   can we swalow man's discharge. does it harm?...

A.   12 April 2008: No, on the contrary it is full of so much protein it's actually very good for you. CD... (read in full...)

My younger sister (14) has sex with her BF which my mother doesn't know, should I tell her?

Q.   hi, this isnt really advice im after but something i just cannot get my head around?!!!!!!!! my sister is 13 years old she will be 14 in august. she has been goin out with this 17 year old guy now for about 3 to 4 months and i know she is havi...

A.   3 April 2008: I don't know why your mum has double standards about you dating a 17yr old and your sister doing it but I think you could cause a lot (maybe too much) trouble by telling your mum about your sister. Maybe try using the experience of your years to ... (read in full...)

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