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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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Was he attracted to me, or what is just the alcohol ?
Q. Heres my story. Only lately I have accepted that I might be gay. I have liked a guy younger than me for the past few years. He is 15, and I am 18. One night he stayed at my house and we got rather drunk. We sat together like old mates, ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hiya, just a quick comment about one of yours. You're right that 15 year old girls often go out with older men but I think the difference here is that as a young gay man, he's perhaps a little more vulnerable than a girl. Is he sure that he's gay? I ... (read in full...)
As I was leaving his place, he said "I will walk you home if you make it worth my while". Now he's real off with me! Any advice?
Q. Im 13 and the lad I like is 16. Weve known eachother a year now. We are really close and gotten into each other alot but it doesn't lead anywhere else.A few days ago i went to his and we got close kissing etc... just as I was about to leave he said ...
A. 28 April 2007: To be 100% honest it sounds like he only wants you for one thing.
CD... (read in full...)
My bf's insecurity issues have rubbed off on me! Advice appreciated!
Q. Hi im currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of nearly 2years. I need advice on some insecurity issues. We both have issues hes just as worse as i am that it's kind of rubbed off on me. I cant stand watching hip hop music videos because i get ...
A. 28 April 2007: Okay... my advice. There's not enough room in any relationship for two people who are insecure. They inevitably fall apart for truly stupid reasons and it would be a shame to see that happen to you. When you're watching a video you're watching what ... (read in full...)
His last weekend before he goes abroad and he wants to go to a sports game with co-workers! Not me! What can I do?
Q. Hi, This upcoming Sunday will be the last weekend that I can spend with my fiancee before I leave for 1 month for work abroad. It is important for me that we spend some time together since he works overtime nearly each day. We had planned on going...
A. 28 April 2007: Let this day out go. It's obviously important to him, not more important than you, just important, and really you don't want to go abroad leaving him just after an argument. Just tell him that you hope you'll get to spend some more time together ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but my best friend is his ex and she still likes him!!!
Q. hey, i was just wondering what to do im in a bit of a pickle. Theres this guy called callum and me and him used to be really good mates but latley i haven't seen him much except from today he seemed to be happy to see me and i have recently just ...
A. 28 April 2007: Friends will ALWAYS last longer than lovers. Stick by your best mate. There will be other guys and if Calum is really your true love then you'll have another chance to be together when things are a little less complicated.
CD... (read in full...)
I am married but am still in love with a man from 7 years ago, how do I put closure on this?
Q. 7 years ago, my love walked away from me. He said he couldn't be the perfect man for me. He wasn't the first guy I'd dated - he was just the first guy who didn't hurt me. I had been raped 3 times before I'd met him. He was different and I fell ...
A. 28 April 2007: You never got any closure on your old relationship but frankly it's too late now. Our first loves have a lasting impression on us through our lives but for the sake of your husband and your children you owe it to them and yourself to make your ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be "that girl" that's over emotional and freaks out over everything.
Q. Whenever I get into a fight with my boyfriend, no matter how small, I almost sob. He's not verbally abusive, it's just that I'm a very nonconfrontational person, and conflicts scare me a lot, I don't know why. To keep from sobbing, I just sit there ...
A. 28 April 2007: Well.... 99% of arguments can always be avoided and arguing about philosophy just seems daft. Discuss it rationally but be prepared to say that you see what he means and that he makes a good point if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by the ... (read in full...)
I have a heavy period and I'm scared of what will happen in school! Any suggestions?
Q. dear agony aunt, i have started my perids a couple of days ago, when im in school i feel all scared of what will happen but in my house i am fine, also i am pretty heavy which makes it worse! and when i need to change it i will need my bag but...
A. 28 April 2007: Keep a pad or tampon, or ever both if you're that heavy in your pocket. Then you'll have it with you to change when you need to. All the other girls must be managing somehow. I'm not sure exactly what you're scared of in school but think about it a ... (read in full...)
As I was leaving his place, he said "I will walk you home if you make it worth my while". Now he's real off with me! Any advice?
Q. Im 13 and the lad I like is 16. Weve known eachother a year now. We are really close and gotten into each other alot but it doesn't lead anywhere else.A few days ago i went to his and we got close kissing etc... just as I was about to leave he said ...
A. 28 April 2007: I think that, as a matter of courtesy he should walk you home anyway, especially if you're leaving his when it's dark. However this isn't compulsory and it doesn't make him a bad boyfriend if he doesn't, just inconsiderate. He's trying to blackmail ... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you are on the pill for a long time...you won't have kids, once you stop taking them?
Q. Is it true that if you are on birth contol pills for many years you cant have kids once you stop taking them? I have been on the pill on and off for about 2 years. If I go a lot longer will I still be able to have kids when I want to? ...
A. 28 April 2007: Absolutely! The only thing it might do is delay your conceiving a little because when you come off the pill your body takes a few months to readjust but you'll definitely be able to have kids provided nothing else is wrong!
CD... (read in full...)
He wants to move into a house with a female work collegue and I am worried and suspicious. Am I over-reacting?
Q. I don't know whether I am over reacting about my boyfriend moving into a new flat with a female collegue, well when he says "flat", it is actually a room in HER house. What I don't understand is that he hasn't hired her yet (but he has known her for ...
A. 28 April 2007: What I would say to you is tht it's obvious that he wants to live in this place above all others because he's friends with this girl. He's saying all this stuff about rents being cheaper etc as an excuse but I'm sure that in his position, if you had ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my girl's two kids and how they may affect our relationship?
Q. I am becoming very serious with my gf who has two young children. Their father is completely out of the picture. I have never had any children. They are very sweet; they love me and I love them. We've talked about having more together. I'm ...
A. 26 April 2007: It's possible. I get what you're saying, you're worried that if you have kids that are both of yours that you won't have the same degree of parental authority and responsibility for her children. Taking on another man's children is a difficult but ... (read in full...)
I feel like im obligated to both of them. What am I suuposed to do?
Q. I don't know what to do. I have two men that want to be with me. One of them is more focused on being with me we have a wonderful friendship but I do not want to be with him. The other man however doent want a commitment right now but we have ...
A. 25 April 2007: The only person you're obligated to is yourself. You know deep down that neither of these guys are right for you so you owe it to yourself to find someone who is. Tell both these guys that you want to be friends and nothing more and set about making ... (read in full...)
Please give me some advice on how i could get over him.
Q. Well i've been talking to this guy since DECEMBER 8 06 We met over the net. I think he is the sweetest guy on this earth becuz on Christmas day he called me to tell me Merry Christmas and on New Years he called me before anyone else. Me and him woul...
A. 25 April 2007: That's the problem with the internet, nobody is quite what they seem, and at your age when relationships are so fleeting it's quite possible he's moved onto someone else. Generally the internet is a difficult way of meeting people and the best way ... (read in full...)
The last few weeks she has been avoiding me. Do you have any suggestions on what is going on?
Q. Hi. Ok so there is this girl who liked me and we were great friends. But now over the last few weeks she has been avoiding me and not want to talk at all, and has been very upset with me, as it seems. Coming from the male standpoint I have done ...
A. 25 April 2007: She liked you, did you like her back? My guess is that she thought that by being your friend she could bring you round to falling in love with her and she's upset it hasn't happened but that's just my instinct considering I don't know either of you. ... (read in full...)
Im preffering sex with women at the moment, does this make me a lesbian ?
Q. hi, i'm 18 years old. i've always gone out with guys and done sexual things with them. but at a party last weekend, i got really drunk and ended up doing lots of sexual things with another girl who i met at the party. she walked up towards me in ...
A. 25 April 2007: Don't bother trying to define yourself right now. You're at an age of experimentation in your life and maybe you're a lesbian and maybe you're straight but it's only through having these experiences that you can know that.
If you are a lesbian ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hasnt had a period for 7 weeks, we always use a condom and shes on the pill!!
Q. me and my girlfriend were best mates for 2 years before we got together so we know everything about each other, trust each other, have thought alot about it and liked each other for a long time before we got together, We both have ha dsex with ...
A. 25 April 2007: It's nearly certainly the pill or exam stress but I don't have laser vision so I can't tell you she's definitely not pregnant. The fact is that if you're having sex (no matter how safe you're being) then you could get pregnant. The stress of ... (read in full...)
The fact that he didn't tell me he was married and older, really bothers me! What should I do about this?
Q. Hi, I'm 21 years old and am going out with a 40 year old man. We've been together 2 and a half years. It started off with me believing he was 32 when we first got together but I later found out he was actually nearly 40 and had been married. He...
A. 25 April 2007: Well given that story I think it shows strongly how important it is to have no doubts and if you have even the slightest doubts it might be an idea to wait. After all you're so young, you have ages to get married.
CD... (read in full...)
The fact that he didn't tell me he was married and older, really bothers me! What should I do about this?
Q. Hi, I'm 21 years old and am going out with a 40 year old man. We've been together 2 and a half years. It started off with me believing he was 32 when we first got together but I later found out he was actually nearly 40 and had been married. He...
A. 24 April 2007: I think the age thing is insignificant. After all, age is just a number and if you love him then you love him, whether he's 20, 40 or 80.
The marriage issue worries me slightly more. Was he with his wife when he started dating you? If not, no ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to tell him not to expect monogamy from me. Any ideas?
Q. I'm 27, gay/bi, in a relationship with a guy two years younger. We've been seeing each other nearly two years, it was long distance for most of the time, until I moved to be with him five months ago. We aren't living together, he says it would be ...
A. 24 April 2007: I think you need to tell him sooner rather than later because if he's expecting a serious relationship and then you meet someone else he's bound to feel short changed and betrayed. Just be honest and to the point and hope he understands. It's a big ... (read in full...)
Did I put the sponge contraceptive in wrong?
Q. I had a bad experience recently with the sponge contraceptive; I found that the next morning it was very hard to take out and there was blood in it. My boyfriend tends to be a hard thruster (he's not huge though) and I didn't realize it hurt until ...
A. 24 April 2007: It doesn't sound like the problem is with the sponge but maybe you have an abrasion inside that's becoming irritated or maybe even an STI which can cause bleeding. It's possible that the sponge caused the abrasion or your boyfriend or any number of ... (read in full...)
We've had our problems, but I want him to commit to marriage.
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for nearly nine years. Throughout this time we have split up quite a few times. The last most serious time was nearly two years ago, he bought me out of the house we owned together. We got back together about 6...
A. 24 April 2007: I think you're right in that you've been together for a long enough time that marriage should be a possibility but I would hold back for another six months or so for one simple reason. Last time you lived together it didn't work out and you broke ... (read in full...)
It has taken us forever to get together, but now he's leaving to America and I can't be happy about it!
Q. its taken ages for me and my boyfriend to get together, and now i have found out he is going to america for 3 months in 4 weeks time. i want to be happy for him but cant be. is this strange?...
A. 24 April 2007: It's not that it's strange, it's that you need to readjust your attitude. That's not intended to be a criticism because I'm sure any girl in your position would feel exactly the same, but what I think it comes down to is two choices.... either ... (read in full...)
I've been sick for a week, and the doctor is totally stumped!
Q. Okay so i've been sick for a week. the doctor is totaly stumped at what is wrong.. but here are some of my symptoms: headaches, dizziness, nose bleeds, achiness, just NOT feeling good, no energy, very tired, when i think of food i feel like i'm ...
A. 24 April 2007: See what the specialist says but don't worry because that's just more likely to make your symptoms worse than better. Don't rule out mono yet because it sounds a lot like that and it only shows up on a blood test for 48 hours when your condition is ... (read in full...)
I thought, I didn't feel there was anything wrong with porn! But now that I caught my bf watching porn..it hurts me a lot! Any advice?
Q. Hi, i'm having some problems with a partner at the moment. we've been together for 3 1/2 years. He was a really loving guy to start with, sooo romantic but as time past he just can't be bothered. I recently discovered that he's been using my P.C in ...
A. 24 April 2007: I know that it hurts that your boyfriend is using pictures of other women to masturbate but it's part of a fantasy world when he does it. On one level you will never be able to live up to the women in porn unless you have a personal airbrusher to ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling sick from some dizzy spells! Why is this happening?
Q. This has been going on and off. Sometimes when I am reading, or doing things my eyes or my head starts to shake. Its hard for me to focus. For example, when I look at my room it shakes side to side or back and fourth. This reaction sort of makes me ...
A. 24 April 2007: Do you eat three good sized meals a day? My first instinct when reading your post is that you're getting dizzy and sick because you don't eat enough. If you're sure you're eating three meals and you don't have any form of eating disorder then it's ... (read in full...)
Her new guy friend is attracted to her! As her bf, should I be concerned?
Q. I have been going out with my grlfriend for 2 years and everything was great, but 6 months ago she made a new friend. He is a male and I had no problem with this but after meeting him on a number of occations it is obvious that he is attracted to ...
A. 24 April 2007: In my experience letting things like this bother you is the fastest way to end your relationship. If she wanted to be with him she would have dumped you six months ago but she hasn't. In my opinion when a girl is friends with a boy there's always a ... (read in full...)
Would my ex college tutor get in trouble for kissing me?
Q. I have recently left college ( age 18 uk ) and i was out on a girls night out when i seen one of my tutors! He is only 28 and we got chatting and we ended up kissing! Could he get into trouble and could we take it further? ...
A. 20 April 2007: Yeah, as long as you're no longer a student of his there's no reason why you can't be in a relationship.
CD... (read in full...)
Together 4 months, ready for the next step (sex) But how do I tell him!?
Q. Hi i've been with my bf for 4 months now and feel ready for the next step with him (we have done other stuff but not that) i think he is too (it will be his first time not mine) just i don't know how to bring it up with him. Things had bee...
A. 20 April 2007: I think you need to be totally comfortable bringing up and talking honestly about sex with your partner before you're ready to do it. It might be worth waiting a bit longer til you feel like that.
CD... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get pregnant like this ?
Q. if a girl was to be fingered by a boy whilst on her period, and his finger had sperm on it is there a chance she could become pregnant?wb please xx...
A. 20 April 2007: Yes, that's totally possible. Do a test if you're worried at all.
CD... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I think its her parents influence stopping us dating ?
Q. I am 25 years old and want to go out with a girl who is 18 in June. She likes me a lot, but she says she can't go out with me because I am too old for her; however, her parents are strict about her dating people my age, and I have a theory that the ...
A. 20 April 2007: It might. Girls don't like to get caught out lying after all. Then again maybe she does believe that you're too old for her. I'm sure you remember what it's like to be 18 when anyone older than 20 is SO OLD! Even if she is doing it because of what ... (read in full...)
Was he attracted to me, or what is just the alcohol ?
Q. Heres my story. Only lately I have accepted that I might be gay. I have liked a guy younger than me for the past few years. He is 15, and I am 18. One night he stayed at my house and we got rather drunk. We sat together like old mates, ...
A. 20 April 2007: "It is her nature to tell people her problems..." Newsflash, it's not her problem. This is totally your issue and whether you're gay or straight or asexual she's your mother and she should try to accept it. Seems like she's forgotten that along the ... (read in full...)
I dont like him hanging out with his friends, Is it because Im scared of him checking out other girls ?
Q. me and my bf has been going out for almost 11 months, but i still have problems with him hanging out with his friends. I know i'm beeing selfish, but i'm trying so hard to be ok about it. So everytime i hear about him hanging out with them i start ...
A. 20 April 2007: Probably, because that's the reason that has you wondering above all others. The thing is, we all need our friends. I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy if he asked you to stop spending time with your friends just in case you were checking out guys. ... (read in full...)
Nothing more was mentioned about our date, do you think hes gone off the idea ?
Q. hi, im 20 and there is this guy that i like whos 22 and he really likes me yet nothing is happening between us. we text for hours during the day, speak on the phone for hours and he has said he really likes me yet when i suggested a date he said yes ...
A. 20 April 2007: Nah I think you were right the first time! He's just shy. However, since ur nervous about it being the other reason that is stopping him why not invite him to come out in a group with you and your mates and if that goes well ask him if he wants to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends is touching me more than I want him to, What should I do ?
Q. Hi!Well I have a really bad problem.well my boyfriend is really sweet and everything and I do luv him but the other day we were snogging like we always do and he tried 2 go a little further and I didn't want 2 go further he tried undressing me and ...
A. 17 April 2007: Tell him you're not comfortable with it. Maybe he thinks its what you want. You need to communicate with guys. Some of them dnt have a clue!
CD... (read in full...)
My bf of 2 months, has his ex on his my space account claiming to be his gf, What should I do ?
Q. hi me and my b/f have been together for only two months but i recently saw on his myspace page that his so called ex saying she is his g/f and soon to be wife. mind you she stay in illinoise and his in tennessee i havent talk to him all week (his ...
A. 17 April 2007: I wouldn't worry too much. The thing with sites like myspace is that people lose interest in them quite quickly. Maybe she just hasn't been on myspace since they broke up. By all means mention it to your boyfriend when you speak but don't be ... (read in full...)
Im sick to death of my husband, Sometimes I love him, others I dont, I want to make it work, maybe I dont, Help!
Q. Hello everyone.. I'm really in trouble here.. I have been married for 4 years with my hubbie for 8 have one child and its just gone down down down hill. I really love my husband but i hate him to. I hate the fact that he promises things and...
A. 16 April 2007: Don't apologise to me! We'll end up in this vicious cycle of saying sorry :) As long as all is cool!
CD... (read in full...)
Im sick to death of my husband, Sometimes I love him, others I dont, I want to make it work, maybe I dont, Help!
Q. Hello everyone.. I'm really in trouble here.. I have been married for 4 years with my hubbie for 8 have one child and its just gone down down down hill. I really love my husband but i hate him to. I hate the fact that he promises things and...
A. 16 April 2007: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you by suggesting you should do something you already had. I was just trying to imagine what he would say if he had written this problem. Sorry if I caused any offence. It wasn't intended.
CD... (read in full...)
Do you think she slept with this other guy before me when she was 14 ?
Q. I found a picture of my girlfriend and her boyfriend when she was 14. He was acting like he was going to grab her breast, and she didnt look like she minded too much. She was put on birth control at about this age because of her devastat...
A. 16 April 2007: I don't know why it matters to you whether she did have sex with him or not but I also think that if you're that set on knowing you should just ask her. If you're in a loving honest relationship you should be able to ask anything, but if she tells ... (read in full...)
I feel like he does all the work when it comes to sex, any tips how I can make it better for both of us ?
Q. I need help please... Alright I feel like my sexual relationship with me and my boyfriend is one way. He always fingers me, gives me head etc. but I don't give him head because I don't like to, I also hate hand jobs (I'm not good at them and don'...
A. 16 April 2007: I'm glad you've realised how important it is to make some effort during sex for your boyfriend's sake. All guys like handjobs a little different so why not explain to him tht you don't do it because you don't know what you're doing. Or put his hand ... (read in full...)
Im in contact with an old flame, I still really like her, but shes seeing someone else, Do I stay in contact incase one day she's available again ?
Q. i have a problem. i went out with this girl about 6 years ago for a few months and got on really well, just she was pretty young then.i am 4 years older than her we both moved on and i never really forgot her. i got married but my marriage ...
A. 16 April 2007: Your marriage finished six weeks ago. I'd give yourself some time to grieve before you jump straight back into a rebound situation. There's plenty of time and if things are meant to be with this girl she'll be ready for the relationship at the same ... (read in full...)
Should my partner also play the part of my best friend ?
Q. I have a serious bf, but recently, I was thinking to myself, should my life-long partner also plays the role of my best friend? I mean, I trust him and love him dearly, but I sometimes can tell my girlfriend stuff that I would not tell him. Am I ...
A. 16 April 2007: No, I think it's always good to have someone you can confide in outside of a relatinship. Yes you should be able to talk to your partner about stuff but not everything. As I'm sure you know if you have a serious boyfriend guys find it harder to ... (read in full...)
Im sick to death of my husband, Sometimes I love him, others I dont, I want to make it work, maybe I dont, Help!
Q. Hello everyone.. I'm really in trouble here.. I have been married for 4 years with my hubbie for 8 have one child and its just gone down down down hill. I really love my husband but i hate him to. I hate the fact that he promises things and...
A. 16 April 2007: Well... he is in the wrong here, I can tell that from your post, but I'd still ask you to consider your child when you're thinking about this. If you were in a violent or dangerous situation more than likely I'd tell you to get you and your child ... (read in full...)
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