A
female
age
41-50,
*essedupfemale
writes:Has anyone ever got together with an ex and it been better the second time around as you had learnt from certain mistakes? I may be getting back with my ex boyfriend and I feel that I have definitely learnt a big lesson, which came with a lot of heartache. I was a demadning girlfriend who tried too hard to make my boyfriend perfect, and he felt too much pressure and ended things. He still loves me and I have learnt to accept him for who he is, live with the things that annoy me about him as no one is perfect.Has anyone else ever learnt the hard way and been given a second chance to make things right?
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female
reader, messedupfemale +, writes (18 December 2008):
messedupfemale is verified as being by the original poster of the question I love my ex boyfriend so much, the reason we are not together now is because he has gone travelling for 4 months. It is killing me inside. I am however positive about the future as much as possible, it has gone from me seeing no light at the end of the tunnel to a glimmer of light, at least I have a chance to make things right again. However, it did take my ex 5 months to come back to me after he called it off. But then he went travelling.... I think it was to stop me moving on while he is away. I was crying all evening yesterday, wishing I could be with him, but he is thousands of miles away. He has called me and emailed me from abroad so that is a positive sign. When he gets back, we have said we will get back together. I love him so deeply that it actually hurts, and to be honest, I have even thought about seeking professional help and getting some anti-depressants as I am thinking about him all the time to the point I am almost obsessed, and I know that is not healthy. I feel down, am avoiding doing things, crying, have a constant feeling of anxiety, etc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): I'm in the same situation, but he broke up with me, and in my case I don't think I'll be given a second chance to do better. I would give anything for another chance though; I absolutely love him. Thinking back, those little habits that bothered me about him are nothing! I complained about so many unnecessary things when we could've just had a good time together. He always put me first and never hurt me like I hurt him. I think you are really lucky if you have the option to be with him again, and if you really love him, you will take this opportunity and make something of it!
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A
male
reader, olliew  +, writes (17 December 2008):
I am that guy!,its tough when you can feel your girlfriend losing respect for you for who you are,sure you can try to encourage a boyfriend to do things for himself but when a guy feels pressure,its like criticism and its tough to take.
I felt the pressure and rebelled against it in an avoidance kind of way and i 'lost' the relationship,i keeping hoping that like you my ex will realise you cant always get what you want.
Best of luck to you,talk to him,i dont see that you've anything to lose
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): i myself was in a situation like this some months ago and it was him who ended us,he recently contacted me and asked if we could start over,he has since changed and so have i and both learned from the past mistakes we made and have no intentions of making them mistakes again we are now a very happy couple and accept each other for who we are,so yes it can work but only if you both want it to
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 December 2008):
 I got back together with an ex earlier this year and it is so far amazing but I guess in a lot of ways our situation is different to yours because we broke up years ago when I was going to uni since we thought it would be too hard to carry it on. Therefore we parted on good terms and even though we lost touch over the years I was away, we both separately really missed the other one.
Of course in these years since I left we have both changed but we made it work. If you're really serious about not repeating your mistakes I'm sure everything will be fine.
Cat
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 It can work...if the issues that broke you up have changed.
Circumstances change-some people get back together after years of separation!
If the circumstances which broke you up are still in place, you'll go through the same cycle only twice as fast....so you really have nothing to lose!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): In my only experience, we got back, and separated after 9 days... but I am only 17 now and every couple is different. As it was your fault the relationship ended and you have learnt from your mistake, then as long as you don't do what you did before, in theory it should work. You mustn't go back to your old ways though or it'll fail again. Offer him one more shot, and if the second time doesn't work, then find someone new. Bear in mind he might say no when you ask him back anyway.
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