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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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How many dates should I have with him before we sleep together?
Q. First date with recent divorcee is imminent. What I want to know is how many dates should I have with him before I sleep with him? I'm separated, and haven't slept with anyone except my husband of 20 years!...
A. 19 October 2007: I don't think there is a cut and dry rule. Things have quite likely changed from when you were dating your husband and had to make this decision but the general rule of thumb is when it feels right and not a moment before. That said, don't give it ... (read in full...)
He's terrible in bed, how do I tell him without hurting his feelings?
Q. I met a man that I absolutely adore. We've been dating now for about three months and it's been great between us. Last week, we were intimate for the first time. I know that he doesn't have a lot of experience in this department, but he's very sen...
A. 19 October 2007: I don't think you need to come right out and say you think he's bad at sex. Why not try ane encourage him mid sex? Sounds like the sex talk doesn't really do it for him but you could probably get quite far along the lines of "touch me there" etc. If ... (read in full...)
Not getting off with a boy is getting to me.
Q. ok i am like one of the only girls in the year yet hant got off with a boy yet it really is getting me down and there are loads of couples in the because i havebnt gott off with a boy and i am a virgin does this make me more of a catch or not? all ...
A. 19 October 2007: There's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes pretty girls are more intimidating to guys in the same way that you might feel intimidated by a really nice looking guy. At your age it feels like there's this huge race to get to the finishing line as ... (read in full...)
Should we get together, even if our futures don't coinside with each other?
Q. I like this girl who is a senior in high school and I'm attending University of South Florida. The age difference is less than two years, so it's not too bad. In May she will be going off to her college, either on the other coast or up north at ...
A. 18 October 2007: Maybe you're worrying too much about the future. Live for now and worry about tomorrow when it comes. You don't even know if the relationship would survive until she finishes high school so it would seem to me that you're worrying about things ... (read in full...)
I cannot stop thinking about my ex
Q. Hi, I am 25 years old and have been in a relationship for almost 5 years. I do love him (but not sure if I am 'in love' with him anymore) and the thought of hurting him breaks my heart but I can not stop thinking about my ex. We split about 7 ...
A. 18 October 2007: Okay, so there was a seven year age gap five years ago when you were about 20. Would it be a fair assumption to guess that your ex was the first guy you felt you loved? There's always some misguided nostalgia for the first guy you love and a feeling ... (read in full...)
Should I approach my teacher?
Q. I am a 14 year old female who has never had a boyfriend and recently experienced a really bad loss in my life. I feel like i will never be loved. There's another problem I kinda look up to this teacher at school and do anything i can to talk to ...
A. 18 October 2007: The problem with talking to your teacher is that it might be viewed as inappropriate because of your age or the fact that your teacher is a man. It's great that you have someone you feel close to and get on with but what about your friends and ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 28 September 2007: It would be good to add a rating option for question askers who think the advice is good even though they don't like it. I've asked questions on this site myself and answered many more and sometimes you can hate the advice someone has given you even ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that as I get older I will fancy women my age. I am just not interested in a 'womanly' figure.
Q. I am 21 and I am in a relationship. My girlfriend is 22 but doesnt look her age. since I was 16 I have fancied the same type of girl, skinny, petite, big eyes, small boobs and no hips. This wasn't so bad when I was 16 because most of the girls...
A. 29 June 2007: There are lots of older women around who don't have what you call the womanly figure, ie they're flat chested, pretty much straight up straight down etc. The thing is I think our taste does change with age.... like when you were 14 you fancied 14 ... (read in full...)
He was very generous financially to his ex wife but doesn't help me with our bills
Q. Hi all and hope your well. I need some advice from the ladies really. I have kept my boyfriend for the past 18 months, while he was sorting out finances with his ex wife. Its all sorted now, they sold their house, and he brought her a new one so...
A. 29 June 2007: I wonder if he was being finacially generous to his ex wife as such or if that were meant for his son. After all, it's not in his interests to be homeless or without enough money to go to uni/move out on his own or whatever he wants to do. Most ... (read in full...)
I'm doing all the work during sex! How can I make her feel more comfortable about doing more?
Q. me and my girlfriend have a great sex life but she expects me to do everything she even said she was nervous and i under stand that how can i get her to get in to doing something i want done to me, gently?...
A. 28 June 2007: Why not just ask her outright? If she's nervous about doing it then give her lots of encouragement. Tell her how good it makes you feel when she does a certain thing. I'm sure she'll get used to it quickly.
CD... (read in full...)
After a year, he still won't look me in the eyes and say endearing things to me.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for one year, and at the begining of our relationship, he wouldn't kiss me or cuddle with me in bed, or acknowledge we were a couple in public. He has just recently started to do these things, and it's ...
A. 28 June 2007: Some people are just uncomfortable with eye contact. I'd focus on the things he does do rather than what he doesn't.
CD... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hasn't let his female best friend and I meet
Q. My boyfriend's best friend is another woman, who doesn't seem to be interested in getting to know me. I've asked to meet her to no avail. He spends time either with her or me and never with both of us. I know there isn't anything going on between ...
A. 27 June 2007: Quick question... this occurred to me as soon as I read your post and I might have it wrong but it's worth asking... have you expressed an interest towards meeting her (as in asked your boyfriend to arrange a time to meet?) I'm asking because you ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be tied down, but I feel an urge to have a baby!
Q. This is really weird. I'm nearly 16 and I've had sex twice with my boy-friend. My cousin is 18 and has a daughter and has just moved in with her boyfriend. My mum is a child minder so I see a few babies around the house sometimes. Recently I rea...
A. 27 June 2007: Yes... when humans were created/evolved (depending on your own interpretation) we were only supposed to live for forty years max. Therefore, we had to have our children young and sixteen was a good age to have them. Now that we live for many more ... (read in full...)
He says he wants to meet up again but can't be bothered getting in contact
Q. there is a guy i met at a party and we got it off right away. he got my number and we were texting for few days but he sometimes won't text back after few texts, but still he said he wanted to meet up again. why isn't he texting back? he just can't ...
A. 22 June 2007: Maybe he's playing it cool? You know what guys are like... they don't want you to think they're too keen! Don't worry about it, just start playing him at his own game and I'm sure he'll become a lot keener very quickly.
CD... (read in full...)
Can he use a condom when having sex in the bath?
Q. Hi there. My boyfriend and i have been going out for 6 and a half months now and we're really close. Our relationship is always full of passion and he and i love each other very much. We're both 16 and he often starts conversations with me about ma...
A. 21 June 2007: Hi, you shouldn't really use condoms underwater since an air bubble can work its way under the skin of the condom and burst it.
I've never heard anything about not using flavoured condoms in intercourse. I'd imagine that there would be no point in... (read in full...)
I left my unahppy relationship; I love my new man but he only seems to want me for sex!
Q. About four months ago me and my boyfriend broke up when we both went to university. He treated me very badly for two months prior to this breakup and all the time i was doing everything i could to make it work. Looking back now i lost alot of self ...
A. 19 June 2007: You're not in love with your ex, you're just regretting finishing with him for the loser you're with now. Uni is a strange time in your love life. In school you're introduced to what it means to be in love and have a relationship and then you go to ... (read in full...)
I told him it was casual, but now I cant live without him!
Q. I'm 16 and i've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months. At the beginning of our relationship i just thought it would be a casual thing but he was looking for long term. I'ts my first relationship and i've had absolutly no experience with boys so ...
A. 19 June 2007: I'm with you on the counselling. You're just having the problems any young couple have in a relationship. He's feeling insecure in your relationship because of the things you said before and his depression probably aggravates that, but it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I get bored with him as soon as I get the guy I want
Q. i have a problem as u may tell. I will say i really like a boy and then one of my mates will tell him then he will ask me out but then after a week or two i get really bored and i dont want to go out no more. I just want a relationship with someone ...
A. 19 June 2007: Take a break from the dating game. Your behaviour is very common in girls of your age. You want to date because it's what your friends/magazines/tv tells you that you should do.... but really there's no pressure. It sounds more like you're dating ... (read in full...)
Urgh! I slept with my ex!
Q. For the past six months i have been sleeping with my ex partners cousin on an as and when basis, which suited us both. My ex has a partner and they have been together for almost a year, she is nine years younger than him and dotes on him. I am ...
A. 19 June 2007: Write it off as a mistake. Talk to the ex and agree that it was a mistake that doesn't need to be owned up to because you don't want to hurt his new girlfriend. Then forget about it. Obviously you still have to see him because of your child but your ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my mean partner for his sweet blind friend?
Q. I need help. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 18mths now and well it has been a up and down relationship. There are times when I have done nothing wrong and get shouted at which then leads to an arguement and something in the house being ...
A. 19 June 2007: There are two issues here. Do you want to stay with your current partner? If the answer is no then you should leave regardless of whether you have another romantic option. If you do love him then you need to get him some help with his anger issues. ... (read in full...)
I want him in my life, but I want to get over him..HELP!!
Q. I recently mentioned about not being able to stop thinking about my ex and was wondering what is the best way to try and get over him and move on with my life, without completely cutting him out of it because I still want him to be part of my life. ...
A. 19 June 2007: If you bump into him play it by ear. Just say hi and see if he initiates a discussion and if he doesn't don't get upset, just walk away. It'll work out in time. It might not happen anyway. I broke up with a guy five years ago and he lives very close ... (read in full...)
I want him in my life, but I want to get over him..HELP!!
Q. I recently mentioned about not being able to stop thinking about my ex and was wondering what is the best way to try and get over him and move on with my life, without completely cutting him out of it because I still want him to be part of my life. ...
A. 18 June 2007: Maybe it's a good idea to put some distance between you until you're over this guy. You don't talk about the circumstances of your break up, whether it was his decision, yours or mutual. If you know that he doesn't want you back and you know that ... (read in full...)
I'm just about ready to end the relationship with my long term boyfriend. Should I move out before I tell him?
Q. I think I'm nearing the time for breaking up with my long term boyfriend who I live with. We are not officially married, and have no children, but for the past few years for all intents an purposes been functioning as if we were married. It sounds s...
A. 18 June 2007: Well as for your one bedroomed flat problem there's always the sofa or the floor if you can't stay in the same bed and the rent just means that if you move out you'll need to move into a shared house or smaller flat rather than the one you're in ... (read in full...)
She's told me her bf will be at our place a lot, when we get to this new flat. I don't like this. Any advice?
Q. so my friend and i are moving up north for college together. we are going to be living together in an apartment or house. my problem is her boyfriend is going to the same college we are and she has already told me that he will probably be over a ...
A. 14 June 2007: Well.... living with other people is so hard because you have to put up with a lot of stuff you don't like. It's all about compromise. What I would say to you though is that when you go to college you'll meet so many people if you only try to. The ... (read in full...)
What do women 'really' think about blowjobs and swallowing semen?
Q. I'm wandering what women think of performing oral sex on men? Do women actually spend time thinking about or desiring to do it or is it merely something they do for the pleasure of their man? I know it varies from person to person but I kno...
A. 9 June 2007: I don't actually mind performing oral sex on a guy but I must admit I don't really like swallowing. I will do it if a guy tells me it's a massive turn on because sometimes we have to do things we don't like for someone else but generally I'd rather ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for you to get pregnant and how will I know if my boyfriend will be there for me?
Q. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I'm afraid that i may be pregnant and i don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell my parents. How long does it take for you to get pregnant? How will i know if my boyfriend will be there for me? HELP!...
A. 9 June 2007: It takes about two days for you to actually become pregnant (ie sperm meets egg and fertilises) but for you to show a positive pregnancy test depends on your cycle and the brand of test you use. Generally the best thing to do is wait and see if your ... (read in full...)
Ear wax blockage...any tips to get rid of it!
Q. PLEASE HELP! i no this isnt really a love question but my left ear is blocked with wax! its so uncomfortable and i have clostraphobia.. its not helping! Errm i was wondering if any new how i could unblock my ear?? thanks!...
A. 9 June 2007: All the doctors are recommending olive oil nowadays. I have the same problem as you... I wash my ears twice daily but still get wax blockage. They used to give me regular syringe treatments but they won't now unless you try the olive oil remedy for ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between having a crush on somebody or loving them?
Q. whats the difference between loving someone or having a crush on them?...
A. 9 June 2007: I'm sure you'll have millions of different perspectives on this question but this is my understanding of the difference. A crush normally equals lust which is different to love in that it represents all that it passionate and spontaneous, like the ... (read in full...)
His uni work seem sto take priority over me and it's driving me mad! How do I deal with this?
Q. Hi ya, what can i say apart from im driving myself demented with worry and insecurity. I have been seeing a lovely bloke for 2 months he lives 80 miles away but we get on great. Unfortunately at the moment he is in his last 10 weeks of a 3 year ...
A. 8 June 2007: Uni is so hard, especially in the final year. Trust me, I've just finished my last exams. There is nothing more stressful than the last year because you're only as good as your last qualification and even if he has the best a level results in the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so passive it makes me mad.
Q. My boyfriend is so passive it makes me mad. He lets people step all over him, but then when he's fed up he just gets mad and yells. He doesn't say anything in the mean time. I have told him how I think he should handle certain situations, but he ...
A. 8 June 2007: Just a thought but have you considered that when you try and tell him what to do you're actually encouraging him to be a passive person? You're putting him in the same position that all the people who mess him around are.... by having a go at ... (read in full...)
I don't want him to think "I need him" but I do because of this baby!
Q. Hiya, i wrote to here about 2 months ago when i just found out i was pregnant. (I'm 17 and wasn't sure what to do and the father really wanted the baby) well since then we decided to keep the baby but i am now 4 months and the last few weeks he has ...
A. 8 June 2007: Well the problem is that however much he promises to be around and to support you, at the end of the day he can walk away from this and you can't. I don't think there's anything wrong with him wanting to spend time with his friends before the baby ... (read in full...)
He said he wanted kids by the time he was 30, now that time has come he keeps doing a big "U" turn.
Q. Hi My husband and I have been together for five years and have both said we would like kids. My husband said originally he would like kids by 30 (6 months ago). Since then we have discussed it reguarly and he says yes, then when the day comes fo...
A. 8 June 2007: Yes, stick around. This is one small problem. If I'm honest, the fact that you would leave him over this makes me wonder if your relationship is strong enough for kids. There must be a compromise in there somewhere. Maybe agree that now isn't the ... (read in full...)
One minute I think he likes me, the next I think he hates me. What is WITH him???
Q. This boy in my year has always sort of liked me and at the same always been mean to me. Now one minute he says loves me the next he's being mean to me again. He kissed me three times on the cheek, then said it was a joke/dare. what is with him? ...
A. 8 June 2007: What's with him is that he's a 13-15 year old guy. He's not going to be as mature as you for quite some time! Do you like him? If you do then start acting aloof like you couldn't care less. This will draw him in and you'll be able to manage him a ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend never want to have sex with me any more?
Q. How can a man have such a low sex drive? All my mates think my boyfriend's mental because he never wants sex with me and all their boyfriends want it all the time! He's always tired or just not in the mood. I know he's not seeing anyone else but ...
A. 8 June 2007: Some men have low sex drives just like some women. Try talking to him about it. Tell him it's perfectly fine, you're just concerned in case something is bothering him. Hopefully he can set your mind at ease that it's nothing you've done or not done ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to get back together with my ex or not???
Q. i dont know whether or not i should get back 2gether with my ex. we had awesome moments with each other until another guy came and occupied all of her time 2 where she wouldnt even say hi to me or even smile at me.but since i left her she hasnt ...
A. 8 June 2007: Maybe you're forgetting to say something above but it doesn't sound like she wants to get back together. Find that out first and then work on making a decision. If she wants to get back with you then you need to work out your issues about her ... (read in full...)
I only eat 1,000 calories a day and exercise regularly, why am I not losing weight?
Q. I had a baby 2 months ago, I only eat 1,000 calories a day, I exercize. I only eat whole grain bread, cereal, and skim milk, and fruit and veggies and white meat or fish that is very low in fat. I don't eat sugars other than natural ones in fruit. I ...
A. 8 June 2007: Having a baby does slow down your metabolism and it means you have less time to exercise and eat healthy. What strikes me may be your problem now is that you're eating too little. It's very unhealthy, even when you're on a diet, to drop below 1200 ... (read in full...)
I forgot to put the address on the letter.... will they fail me for it?
Q. Hi i know this isn't really a problem someone would right on here but if someone could give some advice or if they did the same thing as me and tell me what result they got out of it i'd be greatful. Ok i'm 16 and taking my GCSE's this year. Today i ...
A. 8 June 2007: Okay, well I'm not an exam marker but I doubt you'll lose many marks for it! In the language exam they're marking you on how you use your language. And even if you do fail which I really doubt you will, there will be plenty of options to resit it in ... (read in full...)
Our 3 year old daughter walked in on us having sex.
Q. Our 3 year old daughter walked in on us having sex. She didn't know what we were doing but just stood there saying mummy, we realised almost straight away but she did ask her me what we were doing when i took her back to bed and i said nothing for ...
A. 8 June 2007: Well there are people who believe in being honest with their kids from the very first moment that they ask and there are those who want to protect their innocence for as long as possible. I'd say a good compromise here would be to tell her you were ... (read in full...)
Do I stick to my values of not wanting sex till I'm married or just give in?
Q. First of all, I sincerely hope that people take me seriously considering I am only 18. I have been through a lot recently, and I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me. The thing is that this is not the first boyfriend that has done that to me. ...
A. 8 June 2007: I don't think you choose the wrong guys, I just think you've been unlucky. I won't lie to you... the no sex before marriage thing will be hard for any guy to take, especially now when you're just 18 and most guys your age(ish) aren't even ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant or is this all down to stress... ?
Q. My period is nearly two weeks late. I have a active sex life, but have always used condoms, and have already taken two pregnancy tests (one done by my doctor) and they were both negative. I HAVE been under a lot of stress recently - am taki...
A. 7 June 2007: It's probably stress.... but if you're having sex (even protected sex) there's a small chance you're pregnant. Some tests aren't 100% accurate and do show false negatives. Did your doctor do a urine test or a blood test since blood ones are more ... (read in full...)
I don't believe in God or the bible (at all) and my family disapproves... sometimes I feel like pretending!
Q. Hello Everyone, My problem is a rather delicate one. I come from a family that is generally very close and we love eachother very much. My problem is that I do not believe in their God(they are Jahovas Witness). In fact I do not believe in any f...
A. 7 June 2007: I think it's great to have belief and principles. It's just that when it's about something as controversial as religion it's sometimes better to keep quiet than hurt people for whom religion is a huge part of their lives. I'm not an expert on ... (read in full...)
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