A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started dating a new guy that I'm really into. We've only known eachother about 2 weeks, but I haven't been this excited about a guy since my first crush. I can tell that we're both very attracted to each other (physically, emotionally, etc.) and honestly, I'm already wanting to 'take it to the next level.' I'm sure it's too soon, but it got me thinking... when is a good time for that? I don't want him to think I'm easy, or have our relationship miss out on something. I can see (and would like) this becoming serious, so I don't want to ruin things by getting intimate too soon.Any opinions?
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 There is no set time but the build up is great and the anticipation really does make it all the more special when you do it.
Its great that you are thinking about this, from my own experience I think you feel that this guy could really be something special in your life which is exactly why you are waiting, you dont want to spoil it.
I personally think between 2 and 3 months is about right but it is down to personal opinion, there have been times when Ive took the leap sooner. I made hubbie wait about 6 or 8 weeks (cant remember exactly)but as I was seeing someone else when I met him I waited until I had finished with the other guy first. It was hard to wait as I wanted him from the day I met him!
Give it another two weeks if you can and see how you feel then, you may have got to the stage where you just cant take anymore and simply have to have him or you may feel you want to leave it a bit longer. xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Firstly, well done for thinking about this instead of going by instinct and jumping on him :P thats the best way to avoid mistakes. I personally don't think there is a set time for when you should first get intimate in a new relationship, its whatever suits the couple's individual personalities and views and whatever suits the situation. For example, some people wait 10 years to get married, others just a few months.
I think that communication is important especially when it comes to sex. If you want to wait a bit before you get intimate, let him know! If anything, both of you being aware of the wait and the fact that you are holding yourselves back can increase the excitement when you eventually get intimate because of anticipation.
If you want him now, but want to wait a bit for it to be the right time, I suggest that instead of arranging situations where you might have the chance to get intimate, arrange dates to the cinema or a concert or a restaurant, anywhere thats public. Or even just going to a bar or nightclub could be perfect, you can get really close, flirty and heated, without going too far too soon. This means that when you finally are alone, you can pride yourself in waiting it out for a bit whilst reaping the benefits of the anticipation you created :D
Good luck! xxx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (15 June 2008):
 You've got a really sensible attitude about this so well done for that.
There is no right or wrong answer as to how soon you should have sex. Some couples are ready on their first date, others take a bit longer. It's important to just go with the flow and do what feels right for both of you.
Cat
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