I need to move forward but don't want to hurt my husband
Q. The one thing that is so diff. B/w me and My husband is he wants material things to make him happy. Always has. Yet these things just create more work for him that stresses him. I get happy from the close moments doing nothing that requires $. My ...
A. 24 July 2012: Maybe YOU should see a counselor without him then? I know you have children, so you would have to find a sitter or work around their schedules, but it could help both of you if you went. Just a suggestion.... (read in full...)
I got pregnant and had an abortion and the guy accused me of forcing myself on him and said that I had got pregnant on purpose. I'm crushed..
Q. I am 25 years old I know that I don't have the greatest self esteem, and I've never had a boyfriend ever. All of my friends have had someone who is willing to be in a relationship with them and call them their girlfriend. I have never had that, no ...
A. 24 July 2012: To be blunt, the guy you slept with is emotionally abusive and an immature jerk. Why would you get prenant on purpose only to have to endure an abortion?
We all make poor choices. Your choice in this guy was not a very good one. There are men ... (read in full...)
If we don't live together, is the relationship doomed?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year. I've been renting a house with some girls, but over the last few months have spent less and less time there to the point where I am really never there. I spend most of the time at my boyfriend's ho...
A. 24 July 2012: Absolutely DO NOT sign this mortgage with him if this is not what you want. If you want your own place, go get your own place. Let him and his sister work out what will be done with the house. Buying a home and taking on a mortgage is a huge ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sent me horribly abusive text messages but now claims he does not remember any of this!
Q. My boyfriend recently called me fat on a voicemail message when he was out and I was out but seperatley he said answer your phone u fat b*****d on text me calling me an wh*re and never to bother him again. He said he cannot remember any of this but ...
A. 24 July 2012: If you are not happy and he is sending you abusive texts, you need to leave this relationship. He is being emotionally abusive and the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave. You cannot spend your life with someone who abuses you. Do you ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid b/f will leave me if I don't change
Q. hey dear cupid.=) Well am a female 18, and i am in a serious relationship, my bf is 25 years olds and he loves me and respect, but the thing is i am too sturbon to listen to him and i dont realise dat am acting childish when am around him, he compl...
A. 24 July 2012: This does not sound like a positive relationship for the two of you. If you are doing things that are disrespectful or inconsiderate towards him, I can understand him giving you ultimatums when it comes to your behavior. But, if there are things ... (read in full...)
Am I just not made for sex or relationships?
Q. I can’t seem to enjoy sex. The other night after a drunken evening out I ended an 8 year ‘drought’ on sex. It was with a girl I’ve liked for some time now but I guess the fact I am not confident with girls and have not had much experience I find the ...
A. 24 July 2012: No one ever has a good sexual experience when they are drunk or hung-over, and if they do, they are likely lying. I have never had an orgasm having sex while I was drunk and that was probably your problem too. Also, if you haven't been with anyone ... (read in full...)
I love my boss and want to tell her that
Q. I am in a problem. I really madly deeply truly seriously fall in love with my boss. She knows that thing. She is beautiful, cute. Whenever she passes me there I can feel the wind of Love. The problem is She is 43, unmarried and I am 25 un...
A. 24 July 2012: No, you should not tell her you love her. See if there are any rules on dating co-workers where you work. That is the first thing. Next, ask her out for coffee/tea, lunch, or dinner. You treat her like you would treat any first "date". You may ... (read in full...)
Can the age gap and class diversity work?
Q. I have been getting close to a guy I met a few months ago, we are getting to know each other at the mo so it hasn't developed into anything serious yet, but I can feel myself really falling for him the problem is or what I can't help feeling could ...
A. 24 July 2012: Of course it can, if you both want it. Why are you so self-conscious of being a 24-year-old student and still living at home? A lot of people live at home while in college. I would say just take it slowly and don't worry about age or money ... (read in full...)
Why do I have spams when I masturbate but not when I have sex with boyfriend?
Q. Ok this isn't really a problem but I'm just curious. When I masturbate and I orgasm I have spasms that I can feel. However when me and my boyfriend have sex I come just as hard, but I don't have these spasms. He thinks I'm faking, and that he can't ...
A. 24 July 2012: This may seem strange, but with me, I find a lot of it has to do with how turned on I am. If I am tired, stressed, or worried about something, my orgasms aren't as intense. However, if I am completely in the moment and my body is rested and ... (read in full...)
Why is it because I'm fat I'm all of a sudden not good enough?
Q. Ok so Im having a little bit of a problem here. Im over-weight, reason is medical but nonetheless I am. I have long red hair, my eyes change between blue, green and grey on a daily basis and Im only 5’1. My boyfriend is 6’1, slim, dark bleh. ...
A. 24 July 2012: I think you and your boyfriend need to be more particular about where you go and who you hangout with. People your age often have a very immature and superficial attitude when it comes to appearance. I am not sure where your boyfriend was when he ... (read in full...)
I need to move forward but don't want to hurt my husband
Q. The one thing that is so diff. B/w me and My husband is he wants material things to make him happy. Always has. Yet these things just create more work for him that stresses him. I get happy from the close moments doing nothing that requires $. My ...
A. 24 July 2012: After your latest post, I think some form of counseling would be your best option. I have to be honest, I tend to let life's stresses get to me also...especially with my job. I do not completely shut down, but I recognize that I change during the ... (read in full...)
I know how to keep this relationship alive.
Q. HEy everyone! So i need some advice, yeasturday i planned this romantic evening for my boyfriend, i knew hes been stressed at work and tired, so i put some rose petals on the bed, fake ones, and his favorite cady, i planned on givinging him a back r...
A. 24 July 2012: Well...this is one of those instances where what happened is not the fault of either of you. What he should have said is "Honey, I really like what you did for me, but I am really tired tonight. Can we postpone this until tomorrow night?" and then ... (read in full...)
When will these feelings for my ex go away?
Q. Why Is this happening to me? I hate my life:(. Mature answers please? My ex boyfriend and I broke up 15 months ago. I loved him so much, I thought we were in love cause of the way he cared about me. All my friends and family thought ...
A. 24 July 2012: And just for the record, I would not contact him and ask him what happened with your relationship. He told you why he broke up with you. No more contact, and get on with your life.... (read in full...)
When will these feelings for my ex go away?
Q. Why Is this happening to me? I hate my life:(. Mature answers please? My ex boyfriend and I broke up 15 months ago. I loved him so much, I thought we were in love cause of the way he cared about me. All my friends and family thought ...
A. 24 July 2012: It is hard to get over the one you thought was perfect for you. We make it harder on ourselves by having contact with the person we are supposed to work on getting over. When you have contact, you reminisce, you remember, and you yearn. This is ... (read in full...)
I need to move forward but don't want to hurt my husband
Q. The one thing that is so diff. B/w me and My husband is he wants material things to make him happy. Always has. Yet these things just create more work for him that stresses him. I get happy from the close moments doing nothing that requires $. My ...
A. 23 July 2012: Sorry, we are just trying to understand. We can't give very good advice if we don't fully understand the situation. If your husband is lost spiritually and emotionally numb due to his upbringing, it sounds like maybe the two of you should try ... (read in full...)
I need to move forward but don't want to hurt my husband
Q. The one thing that is so diff. B/w me and My husband is he wants material things to make him happy. Always has. Yet these things just create more work for him that stresses him. I get happy from the close moments doing nothing that requires $. My ...
A. 23 July 2012: Sorry, we are just trying to understand. We can't give very good advice if we don't fully understand the situation. If your husband is lost spiritually and emotionally numb due to his upbringing, it sounds like maybe the two of you should try ... (read in full...)
I need to move forward but don't want to hurt my husband
Q. The one thing that is so diff. B/w me and My husband is he wants material things to make him happy. Always has. Yet these things just create more work for him that stresses him. I get happy from the close moments doing nothing that requires $. My ...
A. 23 July 2012: I am not sure what the question is. Are you saying that your husband will not conform to your philsophy, so you want out of your marriage?
Your husband is like many people and wants to enjoy material things during his time here on the planet. ... (read in full...)
I think she is cheating again .....
Q. I have been with my girl for about 7 months now. She cheated on me around april of 2012 with my best friend. Now she is ating quite strange. She makes conversations short, always has to go, never tells me anything about why she had to go, stuff like ...
A. 23 July 2012: It sounds like she is cutting you out of her life whether she is cheating or not. Like the others have said, she has proved she can't be trusted, so I would not trust her now either. You deserve better.... (read in full...)
I think she is manipulating me!
Q. I've been married for 4 years. My wife and I have an 18-month old daughter. We had our ups and downs when we were engaged, but we worked it out. Lately, I feel like she's being emotionally manipulative, and purposely trying to confuse me. ...
A. 23 July 2012: It sounds to me like she is a busy mom and it is starting to take a toll on her. Sometimes when we women get stressed and tired, the emotions start taking over and we seem unreasonable and illogical when we really just want a break. It does not ... (read in full...)
Why does sex hurt me so much?
Q. I was reading a post about a girl that wants to lose her virginity and she got a few answers saying sex shouldnt hurt. Sex often hurts me, practically every time. Im engaged, have children both vaginal births, and am in my early 20s. I have been ...
A. 23 July 2012: I would surf the internet and see what you can find on painful intercourse. I have heard of some women who are like you and do have pain whenever they have sex, but in general, most women shouldn't. My first suggestion was to go see a doctor and ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's my only hope but hes talking like we wouldn't last together
Q. Hi, I'm 19 years old and have been seeing this guy who is 9 years older than me. He lives in the same neighborhood and i've known him for a year as friends. Recently we've been hanging out together even more. We go for movies and long drives. I'm ...
A. 23 July 2012: Sometimes people are very hard to read. I am not sure I have enough information as you say you hang out, go to movies, go for long drives, and spend time together, but he hasn't officially asked you out. Does that mean you are making all of these ... (read in full...)
I need to break up as painlessly as possible, he doesn't have a clue even though I've tried to give him hints!
Q. I've been seeing someone off and on for the past few months and I need to end things with him. He really likes me and, despite me trying to "clue him in" the past couple of weeks, he's not going to see the breakup coming. I'm seeing him on Thursday ...
A. 23 July 2012: If you want to break up with respect, kindess, and integrity, then tell him so you are not stringing him along anymore. That is disrespectful in itself. You just tell him that you are sorry, but you do not think it is going to work out between ... (read in full...)
Should I forget my hopes and dreams for a man who might never get his act together?
Q. I am planning on going overseas in a month in order to continue my chosen career as there are no opportunities in my country at the moment. I am also going because I want to explore the world and travel. My bf is aware of my future plans but not ...
A. 23 July 2012: You shouldn't forget your hopes and dreams, but if you care about this man at all, you will tell him and tell him soon. I can't imagine living with someone for 6 years and then just have her spring it on me that she is moving overseas. If you care ... (read in full...)
My parents did not accept the man I did like. Will I never find the right man?
Q. Hi.i am 29 yrs old female from India.my older sis in 33 yes old she got married when she was 27 to ths guy she liked.mu family loved their family and they r happy together so everything worked out good for her.i started dating a guy 4 yrs back tht ...
A. 23 July 2012: Why are you going on and on about this when you say that mostly all marriages are arranged? Do you want an arranged marriage? If so, why aren't your parents helping you with this? You may think you are sad and miserable now, but let me tell you ... (read in full...)
I think the wedding's off, the relationship is off and where did it all go wrong?
Q. Help me please, Im afraid that a 4 year relationship may be at its end and Im not sure how we got here! Just yesterday I went up to edmonton to pick up my dress! and then today everything went from bad to worse to full out war! Let me explain ho...
A. 23 July 2012: Oh dear. I think with this kind of temper, it would probably be best if you did call the wedding off. There is no reason why your fiance should be acting this way. If there are things he did not want to attend with you, he should have just stated ... (read in full...)
Everyone says that long-distance dating is hard... but is it worth it to give it a try?
Q. I recently met this guy, and he's really great; he's good looking, caring, sweet to me and everything I could ask for. The only problem is, he lives 15 hours away, and the only way we can talk is through texting and skype. He said he's really ...
A. 22 July 2012: Did you meet online, or is this someone you already knew who has now moved away? The other aunts and uncles have covered issues with age/distance here, but there are additional issue if you have never met and only communicate online.
... (read in full...)
Is 11 inch height difference too much? People keep telling me she is too short for me.
Q. Hello, My height is 6'1½" inches, she is around 5'3" we have nearly 11 inch height difference. We have been together for half a year I have never thought of height difference as a problem. I'm OK with it. I love her and we are planning our futu...
A. 22 July 2012: What makes the difference how tall or short? What matters is the relationship. If you love each other and everything else is good, just tell those naysayers that you don't fall in love with someone's height, you fall in love with who she is as a ... (read in full...)
What are the possible reasons why he's ignoring me?
Q. Here is my story.. Okay so i met this guy..At first we was only friend..But though we both liked each other..Unfortunately he had a girl in his life..since the past 7 years..That is the reason why we remain friend..But gradually he started telli...
A. 22 July 2012: He has a girlfriend, so right now you are only second best. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but do you honestly believes he loves you when he keeps going back to his girlfriend?
Why does he have his phone off? He's probably with his girlfrie... (read in full...)
Action wanted, not just words!
Q. Hi fellow advice givers, I am dating my boyfriend of almost two years now and I have a few things I need help with. 1.) In all of my relationships, whether it's romantically with another guy, friends, or family, I have always been the giver an...
A. 22 July 2012: I would be completely upfront then and tell him that you would like him to initiate and plan some things for the two of you to do together. It is possible that you have been enabling this behavior by planning everything the two of you do. Take a ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped by my circumstances - Do I stay in a country where I am unhappy, or do I leave without my child?
Q. Dear All, I feel trapped in a complicated situation - I feel as though I am only living half a life. I am a black-British woman (50yrs old) living and working in Austria for 10 yrs. My then husband (white-British), son and I moved...
A. 22 July 2012: I disagree with your friend. Your son may want to stay in Austria now, but he is a 13 year old and that age can be very fickle. You may move back to the UK and he could decide that he doesn't like Dad and Girlfriend and may miss MOM. He is still ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am still single? I always worry what people think of me.
Q. I have been single now for 7 years. I am 25 years old.I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me. It's either I meet guys who aren't interested in me or guys that I am not interested in but they are. I have been on many dates but the ...
A. 22 July 2012: It isn't weird, I am 40 and still single. I have had boyfriends the same as you. I am currently in a relationship, but I am ok with being single and actually enjoy it. I have a lot of friends and a very active life. I remember feeling this way ... (read in full...)
Even though I'm with her, I still feel incomplete and unfulfilled.
Q. Here's the thing, I'm with a girl that I use to be short term friends with. She's a great girl and everything but I just don't feel any real love towards her. How did I up with her then? It all started a couple months ago when I use to flirt wit...
A. 22 July 2012: If you don't want to be in a relationship with her and never liked her, why are you continuing to string her along? No offense, but this is really unfair of you. You have spent all of this time with her just faking it? You need to end it with her ... (read in full...)
Action wanted, not just words!
Q. Hi fellow advice givers, I am dating my boyfriend of almost two years now and I have a few things I need help with. 1.) In all of my relationships, whether it's romantically with another guy, friends, or family, I have always been the giver an...
A. 22 July 2012: Plus, I think we need to know exactly what problem you want to work on. You can't ask the guy to change his personality. If you want to do spontaneous, and he doesn't, you are going to have to be the instigator. Some people just aren't ... (read in full...)
Action wanted, not just words!
Q. Hi fellow advice givers, I am dating my boyfriend of almost two years now and I have a few things I need help with. 1.) In all of my relationships, whether it's romantically with another guy, friends, or family, I have always been the giver an...
A. 22 July 2012: I think I am still a bit confused on what you're wanting. Is your guy completely lazy and never takes the intiative on anything? Does he ever ask you out? Does he ever do nice/considerate things for you? I think I need some more information ... (read in full...)
He is willing to give me up if I want a more secure relationship ...
Q. A person who doesn't like expectations and commitment in a relationship but tells you he is in love with you and the love is real and pure. Is this love or just playing games? I am in love with a person who tells me this and my relationship wit...
A. 21 July 2012: I am not sure how to respond to this as you already know the facts, but I will give it a try.
The man is married. He already has a committment to someone. He may love you, but he is not leaving his wife.
When men cheat on their wives, it ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong because I don't like my b/f texting and planning on meeting his ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I had our first big fight last night. He mentioned that he was asked to hang out with his ex. This is an ex who, a couple of months ago, has confessed she wants to give their relationship another chance, they apparently still talk ...
A. 21 July 2012: Yes, Anonymous, both can be FRIENDLY, but not friends. There are those rare instances where two people can put aside (bury or numb themselves to) ALL of their caring, romantic, and sexual feelings for one another and be on FRIENDLY TERMS. ... (read in full...)
Are some people meant to be single?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 2 or 3 months now, after a shaky start when I didn't think his relationship history was great. Fast forward to now, I should have seen him twice this week but made excuse the first time and just didnt reply to message...
A. 21 July 2012: Some people really can't think of things to do. They just are not creative or resourceful in that way. Some guys especially are not real creative about this. Why don't you make some suggestions or give him some choices and let him pick?
I hav... (read in full...)
Action wanted, not just words!
Q. Hi fellow advice givers, I am dating my boyfriend of almost two years now and I have a few things I need help with. 1.) In all of my relationships, whether it's romantically with another guy, friends, or family, I have always been the giver an...
A. 21 July 2012: One thing I would suggest if you want to be on the receiving end is stop "doing" for everyone. Sometimes it is in our personalities that we must do things for everyone, but when they do not reciprocate, we get disgruntled. Take a step back and see ... (read in full...)
My 44 year old b/f acts like a drama queen! I cant believe anything he says!
Q. I have been with my guy for about two years now and I am becoming increasingly annoyed and concerned with his constant exaggeration of everything he talks about, the always being the marter complaining and a lot of lying about things that make no ...
A. 21 July 2012: You could try talking with him first. Maybe something like: "Is there a reason you are so excited and concerned about this?" or "Is there a reason you lied to me about this?" Usually people who like drama are attention seekers. Is there any ... (read in full...)
He has orgasms regularly and I have almost none... any tips? I'm feeling very jealous!
Q. My current sex life is great apart from one fact - my boyfriend gets a lot more pleasure than i do. I get a lot of pleasure from sex and foreplay but almost never climax from anything, and when i do, it takes a looong time. We have already tried the ...
A. 21 July 2012: Do you maturbate and have orgasms by yourself? If you don't, it is time to learn what pleases you so that you can take control of pleasuring yourself while you are with him. You must learn how you like to be touched, where you like to be touched, ... (read in full...)
He dumped me after I got pregnant, what do I do?
Q. I been dating this guy for 3 months and things were great between us now that I'm pregnant with his baby he asked me to abort he no longer text me like he used to no calls no nothing and I still love him what should I do please HELP ...
A. 20 July 2012: Good for you! I know sometimes it is scary when you think you are facing a major life change by yourself. My sister is a single mom and while she has some tough times, she is doing really good. Have faith in yourself and give your mom a big ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 20 July 2012: Don't buy him anything and don't communicate with him. He is using you. Don't fall for it again.... (read in full...)
He dumped me after I got pregnant, what do I do?
Q. I been dating this guy for 3 months and things were great between us now that I'm pregnant with his baby he asked me to abort he no longer text me like he used to no calls no nothing and I still love him what should I do please HELP ...
A. 20 July 2012: And yes, I agree with OldBag that this guy is not coming back. I am sorry.... (read in full...)
He dumped me after I got pregnant, what do I do?
Q. I been dating this guy for 3 months and things were great between us now that I'm pregnant with his baby he asked me to abort he no longer text me like he used to no calls no nothing and I still love him what should I do please HELP ...
A. 20 July 2012: I am sorry too, but please, in the future do not have sex with guys after only 3 months and expect them to stick around. That is way too early to have sex with someone unless you are prepared for it. You were not prepared and now you are pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong because I don't like my b/f texting and planning on meeting his ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I had our first big fight last night. He mentioned that he was asked to hang out with his ex. This is an ex who, a couple of months ago, has confessed she wants to give their relationship another chance, they apparently still talk ...
A. 18 July 2012: You are not wrong and it DOES undermine your relationship. There is no reason he should be seeing her. Contrary to popular belief, men and women cannot be friends unless they are just colleagues, neighbors, or acquanitances. Men and women who ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 16 July 2012: I think possibly what OldBag was saying is that you caved in by going out with him and letting him wine, dine, and try to romance you. She is telling you that you need to know what your real intention is. Is your intention to get back together? ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 16 July 2012: Plus, did you sit down and talk with him about all of the issues in your past relationship, or did you just let him shower you with food, wine, and compliments? Even if a relationship is still a possibility for you, you need to sit and discuss the ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 16 July 2012: You need to decide if he is just a diversion in your life or if you really want to be with him. Sometimes we are bored and don't want to be alone, and we allow anyone in our lives so we don't have to be alone and bored. Any guy can come back, ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 10 July 2012: I have to admit that I think both of you are now playing games. Is all you want is him to act all sad and dejected like he has done something wrong, then go back to his normal behavior? Or, do you want a real relationship? If you want a ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 30 June 2012: Good for you. I remember getting to the point where I thought my ex was lying to me all the time. He would say one thing and do the opposite, or I would observe him doing something totally different. Then would further make things up when he knew ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 29 June 2012: You are welcome to come here anytime if you need someone to talk to. I remembere how terrible this was for me. Anytime he would contact me, it was such a temptation to want to make things work (in the back of my mind knowing that he would just do ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 28 June 2012: You know him pretty well by now so you can probably answer that question for yourself. I know my ex would always pour on the charm when he thought I had had enough. Once he thought he was in the clear, he would go back to his old tricks again. ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 24 June 2012: I think you should ask him directly what his motives are. You may not get a satisfactory answer, but you can at least ask and see what he says. If you want a long-term relationship, make that known. I honestly think some people do not know their ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me?
Q. Hi all. Your opinions would be welcome. I recently split with my bf of over a year due to many problems,and trust issues. He told me i deserve more,and that he isn.t good enough for me. We had an argument,and he said he was going through the ...
A. 23 June 2012: I don't not know why guys do this. I am not a believer of the men and women can be friends theory. Unless you're co-workers or some such thing where you don't have a lot of contact and really are just friends. But, with someone you have deeply ... (read in full...)
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