Married for 6 months - now some disturbing things coming out about my wife?
Q. After a drunken night of wine last night, a few things came out about my wife that I probably didnt want to hear. I have a big thing about honesty, as I have a fair few trust issues of my own, and after a few lies that she's came out with, I feel a ...
A. 19 June 2011: Do not mistake honesty for jealousy. She has never cheated on you. Whether she kissed or tried to kiss or stopped another guy from kissing her within the first two weeks of meeting you (?!) should not be an issue.
You say that you "complet... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to get tatoos but not of our names. Is he insecure of our future?
Q. My fiance wants to get matching couple tattoos but not each others names. It makes me feel like he is unsure about our future. Could that be the reason why?? I want to get his name on me and he get my name on him. I want this because i see a future ...
A. 18 June 2011: Actually, I personally see it as insecurity to want my partner to wear a tattoo of my name and expecting him to want to or else think that he doesn't see "forever", and if I were with someone who made a big deal out of my having one with his name on ... (read in full...)
Why did he start things with me if it was a mistake?
Q. Okay so my best (male) friend came over. And he's been over my house about 3 times. The first time we just watched tv like everything was normal. The second day he was in my room and suddenly grabbed me and said he wanted to bone me and he kept it ...
A. 12 June 2011: Yes, you were cheating. Rather, you were a willing accomplice to his cheating on his girlfriend. He was your good friend. You knew he had a girlfriend before he "started things with you".
When he told you he wanted to "bone" you, you should h... (read in full...)
Is my bf cheating on me on Facebook?
Q. Hi guys.. I have a bit of a problem, recently my boyfriend of two years and I had an argument and I got annoyed and deleted him off Facebook. Later we made up and everything was fine. He then ok'd it for me to re update our relationship status on ...
A. 12 June 2011: Okay, two things. One, don't do things like delete him off Facebook unless you're really ready to not talk to him anymore. If there's a chance that it's just a spat and will blow over, don't delete. Those are like nuclear bombs in relationship ... (read in full...)
He keeps cancelling on me and makes excuses every time. What do I do?
Q. This guy has let me down three times, should i forget about him ?. I met him a couple of weeks ago. The first time he said he would meet me, he ended up saying that he couldn't go out because he didn't have much money. The second time , he said he ...
A. 12 June 2011: This guy is blowing you off. He isn't interested in dating you, and even if I were wrong and he was, if you're looking for good qualities in potential partners, his financial management skills really suck. However, I think he's lying. Men will ... (read in full...)
No love, but no divorce
Q. A month ago my husband after 12 years of being together said he loves me but is not in love with me anymore. He doesn't want a divorce and we are currently going to counceling together but he still wont tell me he loves me and he wont kiss me.. I am ...
A. 11 June 2011: He might be feeling an early midlife crisis, and also must have been distracted by this new woman in his life. It's good that you're in counselling, which is all you can do, and keep talking to him. Don't let yourself become complacent and ... (read in full...)
What do you think of teachers dating former students?
Q. Alright, here's my situation... I'm a 30 year old male teacher, and I've fallen completely in love with a 17 year old female student. She has no idea how I feel as I have never, and would never, under any circumstance, act on it while she is sti...
A. 11 June 2011: After she's graduated from school and is over 18, there's nothing ethically or morally wrong from you pursuing her romanticly, as long as you both are free and single. If you're married or have a girlfriend, no cheating!
But nope, nothing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend randomly wants a break, out of the blue for me, what do I do to win him back?
Q. I am so confused and that is an understatement... My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little more than three years. During these three years we were basically inseparable.. Both in college, mutual friends, always having fun. What my issue is, ...
A. 11 June 2011: Here's the problem. All the things you have the urge to do, as in text him, run after him, "smother" him, beg, plead, cry, puking, depression, etc. will do nothing but drive him away forever. It will also keep you from moving on and keep you in a ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy suggest being "just good friends"?
Q. Ok, here’s my question? Why would a guy (who tried to break it off with me) want to be not just friends, but good friends?? Here’s the short story. I met a great guy through friends about 8 months ago. We live in two different cities about a 3 hour...
A. 11 June 2011: You are absolutely correct. You can't carry on as "just friends". If he doesn't want a girlfriend, then he shouldn't have one. The whole thing about having been hurt and not trusting women is all rot. His idea of you being "clingy" is because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has intimacy issues and needs porn to get off!
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this....my boyfriend of almost a year has this problem, he insists on going online for his sexual gratification....lately we have only been having sex like once a month if that. I know he has intimacy issues but its ...
A. 11 June 2011: RedAthena is dead on.
This is one of the main dangers of porn. It becomes so easy to "rub one off" so to speak that to connect with an actual woman becomes too much effort. The penis gets so used to the hand that a woman's vagina can't stimulat... (read in full...)
I could be "the one" for him, but he pulled back
Q. About six months ago I started becoming really good friends with this one guy, and I now consider him to be one of my best friends. We both like each other a lot. We started hanging out a lot more and we would do stuff such as kissing, etc. but we ...
A. 11 June 2011: Believe it or not, this is actually a good guy. You didn't tell me if he was similar in age to you, so I'll assume that he is unless you post otherwise.
He's not taking advantage of you. So many unscrupulous men could exploit your feelings... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to get a mistress to do the sexual things that I can't do!
Q. My boyfriend wants me to squirt or give him a golden shower, but despite my best efforts I can't do either. He now wants to get a 'mistress' that can do these things. I know what ur all thinking 'get rid of him and find someone that loves me etc' ...
A. 8 June 2011: I have just got to ask...
Is this something he's never done before, as in he's always wanted to try a golden shower? And, does he realize how rare it is to find a woman who experiences female ejaculation on a regular enough basis to satisfy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to get a mistress to do the sexual things that I can't do!
Q. My boyfriend wants me to squirt or give him a golden shower, but despite my best efforts I can't do either. He now wants to get a 'mistress' that can do these things. I know what ur all thinking 'get rid of him and find someone that loves me etc' ...
A. 8 June 2011: Okay, what is your goal here? Where do you see your relationship going? What do you want to happen? I know your feelings are telling you that he's the one for you, but, and this will sting, you may not be the one for him.
This guy is wanting ... (read in full...)
Is he testing the waters or am I seeing things?
Q. Ok I am happily married for 10 years and have recently developed feelings for my new friends husband. It is really throwing me for a loop because I know how irrational this is and that I am 100% infatuated with this man and nothing else! He brings ...
A. 8 June 2011: Look at it this way. If he truly loved his wife, no amount of alcohol would induce him to finger you in public in front of her and then laugh it off. He has zero respect for her.
But let's talk about you. Why were you topless in front of him a... (read in full...)
It's embarassing to still be shy in the bedroom! Help!
Q. hi there, im 21 and me and my parnter have been together for quite a while now. i really enjoy sex with him but i want to take it to a new level. we've talked about role play and S and M but i get really shy when it comes down to it. i really want ...
A. 7 June 2011: Wait a second!
It's already established that you like sex and love to be close to your guy. That's good!
It's perfectly okay not to be comfortable with something when it's talked about. As for me, there is no way in hell that I'd go for ... (read in full...)
I think I might be gay, but how can I be sure?
Q. I have 2 children and left my partner after he ran off with someone else and since i have left him i have been wondering if im gay. I have a few gay freinds and i really fancy one of them, i also went out on a night out with a freind of a freind and ...
A. 7 June 2011: I agree with Dorothy on this one. Don't worry yet about the labels. Just explore and see if your heart and attraction leads you to women. Don't worry about coming out to your friends yet until you have determined that you are in fact gay.
Or be... (read in full...)
Shall I keep trying to get hold of him or wait for him to contact me?
Q. Ok big help hear please peopel, Ive met this guy who i have yet to meet i have wrote about him on hear b4 about him sending a text saying how much he likes me etc Anyway we where ment to meet today but as i know hes worried about meeting m...
A. 7 June 2011: Leave him be. Either he let his nerves get the best of him, or he changed his mind about you. You contacted him enough. If he's a no show, then cut him off and move on.... (read in full...)
We're in a finite relationship due to our age gap, what should I do?
Q. hi, i'm 18 and live in the uk. I have been in a relationship with a man who is now 50 for two years. My question is regarding what to do because we're in a finite relationship due to our age differences yet i have really fallen for him and he has ...
A. 7 June 2011: Think of it this way.
All relationships are finite, even if the people were born on the same birthday in the same year. If there's no breakup, then it's death do you part.
That being said, never ever let that stop you! If he's 50 and you'... (read in full...)
Husband alone in car with female co worker
Q. My husband doesn't have a car to get to work a female co worker has given him a ride from work and by his own admission they stop for her to pay a bill.. she has picked him up at 5am for work should I be concern? Some times i can take him and pick ...
A. 6 June 2011: Nah. I wouldn't be worried yet. Stopping to pay a bill seems hardly romantic, is perfectly reasonable and so far, he seems forthright in exactly who, where, and why. He doesn't have a car or a license, so carpooling is a valid reason.
Like ... (read in full...)
My heart is aching.Please help. I think he's cheated and I'd like to make him miserable.
Q. If feel like my fiance has cheated me in many ways and I will like to destroy him by getting him fired from his job and make him miserable. please help I am hurting. ...
A. 5 June 2011: There's a much better revenge than the short-term acting out that gives the illusion of making you feel better. Burning his clothes, getting him fired, ruining his reputation will, in the end, make you hurt far more and only serve to prolong your ... (read in full...)
Why would she be angry with me wanting time after this?
Q. My girlfriend decided I was "smothering" her, and decided that she wanted to be friends. We subsequently had an argument, basically homing in on the fact that she seemed to actually be finding ways to sabotage the relationship - something she ...
A. 5 June 2011: I know the word "controlling" is in my opinion almost overused, but in this case, it's a very subtle form of control she's wanting over you.
The "you almost had me in love" comment is the telltale. She wants you at arms length because typicall... (read in full...)
Anyone ever had their husband leave for another woman and then return?
Q. Has anyone out there ever had their husband leave them for another woman, and then return? My husband left me for another woman and i have moved forward and am looking forward to a great future with my kids. I just wanted to know if anyone had this ...
A. 5 June 2011: That happens quite a bit actually. A lot of times, the mystique of being illicit wears off, and they realize that their escape from their reality becomes laden with as much responsibility and familiarity as they had. Add to that the "honeymoon ... (read in full...)
Husband goes out every weekend for HOURS at a time!
Q. I love my husband.We have been married 10 years. He works hard, helps around the house and is a good father. However for the past 6 months he goes out every weekend. He will usually ask me to join him but most of the time i can not go because I ...
A. 5 June 2011: I think it's a balance issue, if you're not seeing signs of cheating or something. He's hanging with the guys and getting some time from his daily grind. However, you need time off too! The bar scene is out, but surely there must be something you ... (read in full...)
Should there be "rules" in a relationship in regards to friends of the opposite sex and ex lovers?
Q. View points and opinions please!! Should there be "rules" in a relationship in regards to friends of the opposite sex? In regards to your ex lovers? My boyfriend doesn't want me talking to any men on the phone or by email. I work in a bar so he ...
A. 3 June 2011: I think he's right for the most part. What business does anyone in a good relationship have talking to an ex? Exes should be automatically off-limits. Same goes for former crushes as well.
As for talking or emailing with any men on a strictly... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 3 June 2011: Uhh, where is her CC?? Does she even have a bank account? Hell, in this day and age if there's no bank account, one can take money and fill a prepaid debit card.
There is absolutely NO REASON in the known universe for her to ever ask for your... (read in full...)
Guilt after hugging my teacher
Q. There is a teacher who I absolutly love and have cared so much for since last yr. She may push me, but she cares. She isn't young, really beautiful, or the nicest, but I like her a lot- like a mother. I was in her class last year and will be again ...
A. 2 June 2011: Don't feel guilty. You two shared a moment of something that everyone desperately craves - a moment of pure connection. There is nothing sexually wrong with that. You reached out to her and she responded.
The world needs more of people r... (read in full...)
In the 9 months all I have got out of him was "I like hanging out with you"!! And this was after I poured my heart out!!
Q. I am Divorced and have 5 kids. I met this incredible guy at work and have been dating him for the last 9 months. He has never been married nor has any kids. I was just coming out of a relationship and he was ending his first with a girl that had a ...
A. 2 June 2011: Don't be so ready to end it with him. You say you poured your heart out to him? I'm thinking the things you said were very serious.
Why would you say them in text?? A talk like this should be in person face to face. It's possible that since yo... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 1 June 2011: Five months? That is way too new to talk about living together. And you said she almost got evicted? She has money issues. You're right - you don't want someone that you have to support financially right away.
And DO NOT cosign for her. Yo... (read in full...)
Why do guys keep hurting me like this?
Q. Why does this keeps happening to me? what is wrong with me? Am all cried out! I've had 4 boyfriends who I felt really strongly about. I did everything a good girl would do. I wasn't easy, I stick to the rules and made them all wait a reasonabl...
A. 1 June 2011: You may want to re-evaluate what kind of man is attractive to you. Oftentimes when you hear of a woman seeming to find men who are abusive, or unfaithful, or addicted to something unhealthy, it's usually because they are inadvertantly attracted" to ... (read in full...)
Is he bullying me? If so what should I do?
Q. So I broke my crush's trust and maybe his heart. I was dishonest with him and kind of deceitful and lead him on. Some of his friends found out about it and since he has an ego and seems to care what they think that made it worse. A few weeks af...
A. 1 June 2011: He's not cyberbullying you, but he is trying to hurt you. He is responding to what you did to him in an immature way. If you respond, do it with dignity and humility. If you did him wrong, respond by owning up to it, explaining that you made a ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to tell my mom I want birth control...
Q. im 18/f and my boyfriend is 19/m My mum has told me in the past, before i ever had a boyfriend, that she's aware that i'm at the age where ill start to get sexually active. I never had a boyfriend during high school or anything and never have d...
A. 1 June 2011: You are 18-21. Why do you need to tell your mom that you're going on the pill? You're an adult. You do not have to tell her, and you have your own relationship with the doctor now. But, if you feel that this is a conversation you should have ... (read in full...)
I want to call the other woman, should I?
Q. How can I ask another woman who my boyfriend cheated with if there still communicating due to the fact that I noticed the number on his phone contacts..I feel so dumb for even forgiving him cuz now my trust issues are out the window. When I actually ...
A. 1 June 2011: He is still lying to you. He can delete her contact number from his phone. If there is a "phone backup", if he *just* got a new phone, he could IMMEDIATELY delete her as soon as he downloaded the contact list.
However, he could delete it from ... (read in full...)
My wife admitted to cheating, but she can't bring herself to end it with them!
Q. My wife and I had a loving marriage 8 years back. I love her very much. She is a very sexy lady and she has had a large number of admirers because of this. Now she is interested in them and sleeping with them when I am not around. When I caught her, ...
A. 31 May 2011: Pass time?? People take up hobbies to pass time, or get a new career, or travel. They do not cheat and betray the one they professed deep love to and shared vows of faithfulness and loyalty to.
What should you do? Well, you've already talked t... (read in full...)
I want to send this guy pictures of me, but I'm slightly overweight. What should I do?
Q. Okay I put up a profile for fun and have been talking to this guy. He lives pretty far in another state. We didn't meet on a dating site but just had a connection (pun Not intended) So the time has kind of come for us to exchange pictures. The ...
A. 31 May 2011: You're 5'5" and weigh 155? First, that's awesome that you're losing weight! Congrats on your work so far! That's awesome!
You're not that bad! It's not like you're a 400 pound obese person. While you're working on losing more weight, maybe fo... (read in full...)
Am I being slutty? How do I regain my self respect?
Q. all my friends (in a jokey way) always call me slutty and its always just been a bit of a laughy joke, but i really think i am, i seriously cant help it but its not like i have sex with loads of boys just i flirt with different boys at the same ...
A. 31 May 2011: Why would you react to something negative that people are labeling you by living up to that label?
If you like the attention that you get by being sexually promiscuous, then do it with no regrets. However, if you don't like it, but are instead ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my long term boyfriend, but I don't feel guilty at all!
Q. well... i've been in a relationship for almost 5 years, and so far, it's been ok... Lately we've been fighting a lot, mostly beacuse, even though we've been together for a really long time, he doesn't trust me. Sometimes it seems like he's the on...
A. 31 May 2011: Well, you may not want to hear this, but he has a reason not to trust you. You just totally validated his feelings of mistrust in you.
You didn't have to react this way. You could have had a serious talk with him. You could have broken up with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend still wants more after I finish. What do I do?
Q. my girlfriend has an extremely high sex drive, and once i 'finish' she still wants more. what do i do?...
A. 31 May 2011: Well, your secret is in your mindset. Just because you have an orgasm doesn't mean that you are "finished". All it means is that you switch tools, as Aunt Honesty said.
You can attack this in two different ways:
1. Before you have your or... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 30 May 2011: This issue is pretty simple. You aren't ready for her to live with you yet. You said that she was "forcing" herself into your apartment and you got used to it.
This isn't about her inviting people to your place. This is about you not being re... (read in full...)
Confused about being friends with my ex
Q. hey everyone and sorry if this is a bit long: me and my ex went out for just over 8 months, things were good , only had one arguement in that time. however one day he decides to just tell me he's met someone else ( basically broke up) i obv was ...
A. 30 May 2011: Oh geeze...NO! Stop talking to your ex! Do not be friends with him. Stop thinking about him, except that he discarded you like a tin can and now wants to try to get at you again because he was dumped.
Why give up the really good guy you have... (read in full...)
Only the creepy ones seem attracted to me?
Q. I had my first boyfriend when I was 16. I am 17 now. He turned out to be a creep 'cause he was wayyyy more interested in my body than me as an actual person. I am no longer looking for a relationship, and rarely give anybody any hints that I wan...
A. 30 May 2011: You actually just answered your own question - you need to know how to let people know directly that you're not interested. You hate that part, and it's giving the strays and creepy people an in.
The truth is - creepy people pretty much try... (read in full...)
What is going on with my boyfriend? He is confusing me so much
Q. He hasn't called me in 48 hours almost and I don't know what is going on. Last time I actually spoke with him, he got off the phone after 10 minutes saying his mom wanted to speak to him, and he hasn't called back since even though he said he would. ...
A. 30 May 2011: Two days isn't so long, actually. I say give him some space and do not text him today. You can't force him to open up to you, and if he cares about you, he'll let you in in his time.
Getting someone to open up is like a flower opening up. You... (read in full...)
Is he testing the waters or am I seeing things?
Q. Ok I am happily married for 10 years and have recently developed feelings for my new friends husband. It is really throwing me for a loop because I know how irrational this is and that I am 100% infatuated with this man and nothing else! He brings ...
A. 1 November 2010: You're saying that this friend is a new friend, and her husband is smooching all over you and telling you he "loves you like a sister"? He's totally flirting with you. He wouldn't be giving the message that there's no chemistry while smooching all ... (read in full...)
| *ouWish's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ouWish has
added them and they have added *ouWish!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
