Like what
she writes?
... Add *o_Very_Confused to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *o_Very_Confused a private message | | *o_Very_Confused's Ratings | |
| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
|
| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
|
15 year old pupil is hitting on me - her teacher. Should I report this?
Q. I am in a terribly difficult situation. I have been teaching for 20 years and this is the first I’ve ever had this particular problem. There is a girl in one of my classes; she is very young, 14/15 years old, a child. Now I have had students have ...
A. 5 September 2012: oh good point and look at this: " that nobody liked ‘her’ "
why would an adult male put "her" in quotes...
yeppers... we got played.... (read in full...)
Is shyness a sign of interest?
Q. What is the meaning if the girl cannot look in your eyes or she is feeling awkward when you are talking to each other? she knows that I like her since 4 years ago but im shy so i cant show it to her. Only now im trying to talk to her. Is being ...
A. 5 September 2012: it's not good or bad.. it's just who she is and who you are...
it may mean she's interested
it may mean she's shy
it may mean a million things...
you have to just be yourself and keep trying as long as you can... or until she makes it cle... (read in full...)
Is okay for me to revive a long lost love?
Q. I really wanted to know the answer and the story is this: When I transferred to a new school ,I had a crush in my lower year schoolmate who is also a transferree from an all girls school. I was very shy back then so we only talked through text mes...
A. 5 September 2012: yes keep on keeping on
visit her
tell her how you feel
stand by her..
visiting a friend is always a good thing when they are ill... (read in full...)
15 year old pupil is hitting on me - her teacher. Should I report this?
Q. I am in a terribly difficult situation. I have been teaching for 20 years and this is the first I’ve ever had this particular problem. There is a girl in one of my classes; she is very young, 14/15 years old, a child. Now I have had students have ...
A. 5 September 2012: you need to report her. she's over the top.
can you request that she be transferred to a different class?
do you think telling her parents about it will help?
WHATEVER happens:
do NOT be alone with this child
keep it very profession... (read in full...)
Depressed over teacher leaving school!
Q. i really like this teacher ever since i came in year 7. i had him for two months (i really really love him, but i never tried anything on him) and my grades went sky high and moved to a different class. i was really depressed for a few months, but ...
A. 5 September 2012: A crush on a teacher is normal.
I had a crush on my high school english teacher... I still remember it and that was 1977!
If you feel depressed can you go to your mom and ask her to take you to the doctor? Even situational depressi... (read in full...)
Is my husband interested in Lisa? Should I be worried that he's angry that he missed out on a chance to be with her?
Q. What do you think about this situation? My husband and I occasionally hang out with another couple, I'll call them Bob and Lisa. Before we met, we both hung out with this couple seperately. My husband used to be Bob's best friend and when I was in ...
A. 5 September 2012: have you ASKED your husband how he feels and why he "forbids" you to invite this co-worker over?
and if you are happily married, are you saying your husband is NOT? happily married men do not risk their marriage to hook up with another woma... (read in full...)
I'm scared about my feelings for another woman and what that makes me
Q. I don't know how to feel about a girl. I have never had a relationship before, I am a 22 year old female. I have never had a crush on anyone before until i had one on a female close friend. I told myself it was fleeting, and when she was with her ...
A. 5 September 2012: have you talked to HER about it and told her you are just curious and may or may not be gay or bisexual and need to figure it out?
you CANNOT live your life to please your family.
you have to be true to yourself and live your life to pl... (read in full...)
What's the worst thing that can happen with yeast infections if it's not treated right away?
Q. my girlfriend told me she might have a yeast infection. i could tell she isn't as wet and it's actually thick like cream. she's going for a check up this week. but i am worried about my mouth. should i get it checked?! what's the worst thing ...
A. 5 September 2012: you can get thrush if it's yeast... babies get thrush all the time, my oldest had it...
but Abella is right we all carry yeast in our bodies at all times... just sometimes we get an overgrowth of it.
I suffered for years with topical yeast wh... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 5 September 2012: honey it's scary... if you live in a care home tell the care providers...
because if you do decide to have an abortion it's better to do it sooner... and if you decide to have the baby (I don't advise this but it's a personal decision) yo... (read in full...)
My marriage lacks a sex life so I have a friend with boundaries. How do I be happy with my husband?
Q. I am a happily married woman (20+ years). Hubby is great, we get along, we have grown children, built a nice life, etc. We work great together, have some of the same hobbies, and almost always agree. He is sweet and nice and we are happy together. I ...
A. 4 September 2012: so let me get this straight,
the ONLY thing missing from your life is your husband's ability to give you orgasms right?
he's great in every other area right?
he's loving?
he's affectionate
you have sex you just don't orgasm from sex r... (read in full...)
My mother forbids me to date my boyfriend even though I'm 18
Q. This is kinda a long story, although I will try to keep this as short as possible. So here's the deal, my ex and I are trying to get back together but my mother absolutely HATES him and won't let me be with him although I am 18. I have previou...
A. 4 September 2012: if she's not giving you a reason then that's unfair of her.
if she gave you valid reasons would you listen to her?
what would be a valid reason.
truth is if you live in her home and she pays your bills... she till owns your butt... ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my wife over breast implants?
Q. my wife lies to me she had a breast implants done without my permission i dont like it what will i do. leave her?...
A. 4 September 2012: oh from your follow up post it's clear you are looking for a reason to leave....
make it so...
... (read in full...)
Advice on choice of condom needed.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have always used Trojan Her Pleasure condoms, but the condom has never been able to roll down to the base of his penis. Earlier this week we bought Trojan Magnum condoms due to them being sold out of ...
A. 4 September 2012: Try the XLs they are not that much bigger than the Magnums just a bit more room.
let's be honest, most men are not going to buy condoms labeled small.... they are much more likely to try MAGNUMS
and MAGNUMS XL... well for a man to say I ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong? I've only had sex twice and it's not even painful.
Q. Okay so i have had sex only twice with my boyfriend. but it doesnt hurt one bit. its not even liek hes small. but even when he penetrates its not at all painful. it just feels like something is inside. i cant even feel the movement inside. is ...
A. 4 September 2012: nothing is wrong with you.... sex is not supposed to hurt...
and most women do not derive sexual pleasure from straight intercourse.
you sound normal to me.... (read in full...)
How do I cancel the date I have planned now I am exclusive with my partner, but still keep this other man as a friend in case this one doesn't work out?
Q. I have been single for about 14 months, dating casually here and there, I've been seeing a guy that I've known for years the last couple of months casually and also been seeing and texting other people. (as he has as well)This guy and I have ...
A. 4 September 2012: if you are so sure that you need to keep a spare waiting in the wings why did you agree to be exclusive?
either don't be exclusive and meet the other guy or
a. take your new found boyfriend with you to meet your new friend.... after all... (read in full...)
How can I tell him that the one night stand meant nothing?
Q. I'm after a little bit of advice. I really have messed up and don't know how or if I can fix this. I really like this guy, but I thought he had made it clear that he wasn't interested in me. His best mate started flirting with me and I stupidly...
A. 4 September 2012: You THINK he found out about the ONS? your not even sure?
so he's gone and you don't even know why?
did you sleep with this guy before you developed a strong foundation of a relationship?
if so, then it was his plan all along to "... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?
Q. My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...
A. 4 September 2012: why would you expect him to live rent free?
if you are close enough to live together you are close enough to sit down and figure out ALL your expenses and then write a budget to cover every thing based on BOTH salaries.
that's living exp... (read in full...)
I'm married but attracted to a guy at work. My husband is okay with it, but how do I approach him?
Q. Hi! I'm 35 yrs old, married and i'm attracted to this guy at work. I feel he likes me too. I told my husband about this and he' ok with it. I only slept with one guy which is my husband. He said it's ok to have sex with him if it comes to that. My ...
A. 4 September 2012: IF your husband is doing to you what my EX husband did to me, you're being set up to give him an excuse to end the marriage...
I was encouraged to see my "friend" when in an open marriage...and my hubby got jealous...and every time I said I wou... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my wife really loves me?
Q. My wife and kids are my world. My wife and I have been together for 13 years, living together for 10, ( Ive concidered her my wife that long), married for 7. She was my first love and I hope my only love. Before we were married, she moved out for ...
A. 4 September 2012: and if she does not love you and is just comfortable what will change?
will you leave?... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 4 September 2012: you must be brave and tell mom... show her what you wrote here.
she may cry
she may yell
she may get angry..
your boyfriend is no boyfriend he's a bully honey and he pushed you to do things you didn't want to do...that is NOT how we treat... (read in full...)
Do I leave my wife over breast implants?
Q. my wife lies to me she had a breast implants done without my permission i dont like it what will i do. leave her?...
A. 4 September 2012: well did she run off and have it done without your knowledge? and just show up at home one day with new boobs?
or did you know about it?
assist with her care after surgery? and now are mad?
where did the money come from? ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my wife over breast implants?
Q. my wife lies to me she had a breast implants done without my permission i dont like it what will i do. leave her?...
A. 4 September 2012: why did she need YOUR PERMISSION to do something for herself?
... (read in full...)
How much of a deal breaker is penis size?
Q. I've seen a lot of penis anxiety threads based around "reassure me, is insert size normal?" but I'm going to come at it from another (still similar) angle. I'm 23, relatively slim although my guts bigger than it's ever been (people still ac...
A. 3 September 2012: does your tongue work?
to me I'd rather have a guy with a smaller sized cock (better to give blow jobs)...and a talented tongue....
... (read in full...)
Should I just back off when g/f is having her period?
Q. Okay so through some careful questioning I have learned that my girlfriend is on her period as of now. The thing is while on her period I've Noticed that she becomes very erm....independent. She doesn't want anything to do with me or others. I asked ...
A. 3 September 2012: there is nothing you can do...
you are sweet....
but she told you she wants to be alone... trust me this is not about YOU...
she feels crummy
she's cranky
she's tired
she's achy and no matter what she does she feels physically "di... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend blew off my birthday. His birthday is in a few days. Should I blow it off or at least send him a card?
Q. My LDR boyfriend of 1.5 yrs allegedly forgot my birthday (*actually, I think he remembered 2 days before but decided to be cheap and blow it off). When I didn't speak to him for 2 days, he still didn't try to make it up to me, so I asked him to ...
A. 3 September 2012: He's no boyfriend honey... I would not only blow off his birthday but I'd blow off the boyfriend too..
a man in love moves heaven and earth for the woman he loves... he gives up his pleasures to make yours come true.
I was in an LDR for a... (read in full...)
We're related by adoption does that make it incest if we get together?
Q. Im a female I live in the us and ive made out with my cousin a couple of times and maybe have sucked his Dick but mine and his grand ma adopted his mom so were only related by adoption and I think I wanna take it to the next level I'm fifteen and ...
A. 3 September 2012: I'm willing to bet if you went to your moms who are sisters with this question they would be horrified.
Clearly you guys have grown up together and are rationalizing this blooming sexual experience you are having as being OK....
I'm sorry i... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a younger man, I look much younger than I am but worry about what people think. Advice?
Q. In need of some advice. I am 32 female and have been recently seeing a lovely wonderful man, but his only 23 and I'm not sure we can carry on because of age difference. I look about 22 and he looks about 28, so he looks older, but I constantly...
A. 3 September 2012: I'm 52 and look it.
my fiance is 39 and looks about 30 when he's clean shaven which is most of the time.... we get looks... WHO CARES...... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate for an 11 year old to date?
Q. If someone is 11 should they date? ...
A. 3 September 2012: define date
are they dating other eleven year olds?
what does a date involve.....
I can't imagine an 11 yr old boy wanting to date but I can imagine an 11 yr old girl... and I think it's way too young.
personally i think no dating be... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to see me as often as I want to see him!
Q. I'm 23, my boyfriend is 26. We've been together a little over 2 months. I would like to see him everyday or at least every other day, but he only wants to hang out maybe 2-3 days a week. We've talked about this, and he has said "You're not my life. ...
A. 2 September 2012: age and distance have no bearing on this one...
he is not as into you as you are into him.
when I needed/wanted more contact with my LDR guy I told him and he stepped up his game even though he didn't need more contact....
2-3 d... (read in full...)
This guy I met a week ago won't leave me alone!
Q. I met a guy a week ago, yes that's just a week ago, we talked and generally got on. I told him from the offset that I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship and he seemed cool with that, but now he won't stop calling me. Apparently we are ...
A. 2 September 2012: you have told him.
you are not talking to him
he will stop
just ignore him.
if he continues you may have to call the police and report him as a stalker.... (read in full...)
I hurt my FWB's feelings by talking to another girl. Did I cross boundaries?
Q. My friend with benefits is not happy with me after she found out that I was speaking to a mutual female acquaintance. I am not interested romantically in this other woman at all. The conversation was about music related activities that we both have ...
A. 2 September 2012: I think that you two need to sit down and clarify what's going on...
you have very deep feelings for her and want her for a GF but clearly she pushes you away.
sleeping with her just muddies the water.
my advice... UNTIL you two ca... (read in full...)
Husband won't work and we are about to lose our house!
Q. I am needing some advice and am not sure what to do about my marriage. My husband refuses to look for work or get a job. First off, he is not depressed at all. He has seen the doctor for an evaluation and he is not depressed. He was lai...
A. 2 September 2012: you told him to find a job or you would leave.... time to leave....
you can't make idle threats.... if you give an ultimatium you must be prepared to go through with it.
also contact the back that holds your mortgage and find out how to prot... (read in full...)
Can I get this relationship past short messages on facebook?
Q. I met this guy at a bar on a friday night, we saw each other the following day and then again two weeks after that. Always in group settings. He is shy and so am I. We also sometimes send each other message on facebook. We have common interests and ...
A. 2 September 2012: you may have to make the move.... maybe talk about how immature all the men your age are......
I'd say ask him out but if you are so sure he's going to think you are a groupie, then you have to let it be his plan...... (read in full...)
He hasn't contacted me but has 'liked' some of my pics!
Q. Hi All, Two weeks ago I went out clubbing with my girlfriends. This guy immediately caught my eye, he was exactly my kind of guy looks like russell brand (I have a thing for guys with long hair)anyway he comes up to me, starts chatting, totally...
A. 2 September 2012: I agree with janniepeg... he's just building a fan base...
when you see him be YOURSELF...
as for him being out of your league... I'm betting it's the other way around
remember... looks fade... glory fades... what sticks around fore... (read in full...)
How do I now cope with fact he's slept with 10 girls since we had our partial break-up 7 months ago?
Q. My boyfriend and I split up 7 months ago, but we remained close and still had a physical relationship. (not the wisest decision I know). However recently, he told me that he has slept with 10 different girls during the 7 months, one of which wa...
A. 2 September 2012: what is there to forgive him for?
you broke up and yet you still gave him your body
he had no ties to you emotionally during the break up that he owed you... he did not thing wrong.... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the age difference!
Q. My long distance boyfriend is 18, and im 15. Im still nervous about meeting him and how he will react when seeing me, but not as much now. My mom sorta aproved so far. And i have not told my dad because he dont like me even thinking about boys :/ ...
A. 2 September 2012: what are you worried about?
here's my take on it..
you've met online right?
does he live close?
are you guys talking about things you would not tell your mom (i.e. sex)
IF you don't live close and have no shot of meeting till you ... (read in full...)
I hurt my FWB's feelings by talking to another girl. Did I cross boundaries?
Q. My friend with benefits is not happy with me after she found out that I was speaking to a mutual female acquaintance. I am not interested romantically in this other woman at all. The conversation was about music related activities that we both have ...
A. 2 September 2012: Yeah I think we have to clarify if she is your FWB or your girlfriend because those are two different things...... (read in full...)
LDR newbie needs advice!
Q. Hi everyone! I'm entering my first long distance relationship. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that we'll get through this :) Here's some background info. My boyfriend is going to the East Coast for his last 2 years of college. He's studying...
A. 2 September 2012: there is a great website: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/
go join for free.... it's tons of GREAT LDR info
and I wish you all the best with this.
that being said:
you are both very young
you have been together since you we... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 2 September 2012: OP, I am going to say this ONE MORE TIME... and then I fear there is nothing else I can do.
THE UGLIEST men I know have wives who love them because they are confident....
my fiance is not all that attractive... spotty skin, lousy teeth, t... (read in full...)
Should I send a text saying, I miss you so much, I don't want someone else, I want to be with you .
Q. hello i went on a date with a woman 5 weeks ago, she said it was lovley and i was a lovley man xxx . i wanted to give her a kiss at end of date, but did not want to risk it . i told this a few days later and she said she was not interested. but we ...
A. 2 September 2012: nope... she's totally friend zoned you........ (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't invite me for icecream!
Q. recently my bf has moved to my city and our 3years of long distance has ended.we love each other and we were meeting frequently last week.today he went to mall without telling me.he didnt invite me though he knew that next week its not possible to ...
A. 2 September 2012: oh please... are you saying that he is not allowed to go out with his friends and do things without you?
you are WAY over reacting.
I live with my partner and he's allowed to eat ice cream without me.
he is expected to go out and be w... (read in full...)
He offered me sex instead of a relationship!
Q. Should I be insulted that a guy Ive liked for a while has asked me to be his FWB or 'fuck buddy'? He says he doesnt want a relationship but wants to be more than friends. Im shocked and dont know what to say! Im 29 and hes 28, Im looking for a ...
A. 2 September 2012: should you be insulted...
well that depends on if you mind that your good enough to have sex with but not good enough to have a relationship with...
or if you understand that folks have needs and he likes you but doesn't like you ENOUGH ... (read in full...)
I hurt my FWB's feelings by talking to another girl. Did I cross boundaries?
Q. My friend with benefits is not happy with me after she found out that I was speaking to a mutual female acquaintance. I am not interested romantically in this other woman at all. The conversation was about music related activities that we both have ...
A. 1 September 2012: FWB means FRIENDS with benefits... not causal boyfriend/girlfriend.
YOU did nothing wrong.
Are you sure you are using the right term because it sure sounds like a jealous GIRLFRIEND... and if you don't want her to be thinking she is your... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 24 August 2012: Richard,
you are wrong.
my fiance is not all that attractive. when we first met he was too skinny, now he's got too much belly... he has bad teeth and wears his hair too short and his nails too long... he has glasses and he's a real hot mess.... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 23 August 2012: Richard,
While YOU may not judge anybody concerning their looks, others are going to base wanting to contact someone on first impressions of looks (especially online where the visual is most important) so that putting your best foot forward ... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 22 August 2012: ok have you been to an image specialist....
do you have clear skin? if not see a dermatologist
do you dress well? if not see a salesman at a good's menswear store for help?
spiffy haircut? do not get a 10 dollar barber look... find a st... (read in full...)
What are the best casual dating sites out there?
Q. I have tried a few of these online dating sites recently but have had no replies and windered if anyone knew the best ones to keep faith with. I stopped using photographs in the end because i was getting nowhere-i am an ugly guy-but still had no ...
A. 22 August 2012: well to be honest without a photo most women won't even give you a look.... you need a photo
but OK CUPID is a great hook up site...... (read in full...)
| *o_Very_Confused's friends
These are mutual friends, so *o_Very_Confused has
added them and they have added *o_Very_Confused!
|
