What to say? Can't stand fathers beliefs
Q. My father is conversative and doesn't want to know anyone else's opinion. I can't stand how he is. He thinks having children out if wedlock is "ruining The family". This makes no logical sense to me. It's not like his family is close. How canyou ...
A. 13 January 2013: meccamega: If you are content to be critical of your Father... and not grant him any latitude in HIS life... especially as it may (or might NOT) relate to YOUR life.... then what is the use of ANY of us suggesting that you could look for the ... (read in full...)
Truly, should I forgive her? She claims she still loves me despite all her actions?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my fiancee for 5 yrs. She moved into my apartment 2 years ago. l love her deeply and she means the world to me but am beginning to wonder if my love is not being reciprocated. August 2011,she asked some boy out on ...
A. 12 January 2013: Let's go through your questions, one at a time:
"Does she really love me ?Should I break up with her ? How do I ever trust her again ?Does she deserve another chance?"
1. No... never did,
2. Yes, soon,
3. You don't, because you needn... (read in full...)
He wont move out of his mother's house despite being in his mid 30's, is this a subtle message telling me I'm not enough for him?
Q. In a long distance relationship. My love is in his mid 30s. Due to a family tragedy, he has had to live with his mother. Problem is, it's now a couple of years after the tragedy and still lives with mom. I want him to be with me so we can start ...
A. 11 January 2013: This phrase is key in your submittal: " I just don't get this fixation and attachment he has to his mom that seems to be stronger than his attachment to me..." 'Cuz, if this is so... and doesn't change... then YOU don't stand a chance of shifting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a model and I'm worried he will eventually get tired of being with a normal girl, plus we have different religious backgrounds. Are these real issues or am I being silly?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I am in need of some advice on a few issues with the one guy. I will give you some background information to my situation. So I am 32 and a year ago I met a guy who is 31, he chatted me up when I was out for the day in a...
A. 11 January 2013: I suggest that you make those proverbial lists of "things I like about us, and what goes on between us"... and "things I DON'T like about us, and what goes on between us..."
Be honest.... and, when you are done, make that tally. IF the things y... (read in full...)
Saw my GF for the first time on Skype and she didn't look like her photo. Is she lying?
Q. So I have met my girlfriend about a year ago over the internet, big mistake. She said she does not date over the internet first time I asked her, then I won her heart and we have been together for a month now. She sent me pics of her but this mor...
A. 11 January 2013: Believe me.... my girl looks decidedly more like Smokey the Bear, than Cinderella, when she wakes up in the morning.... and I'm quite content to let her undertake the necessary transformation before I pass judgement on "how she looks" that ... (read in full...)
Why did he string me along for 2 years?
Q. I started dated this guy 2 years ago. In the beginning everything was great. Then after couple of months he said we are taking it slow. So I have been patient. Then after 9 month dating I got a letter from him saying that he never broke up with the...
A. 11 January 2013: Unfortunately, you gave this guy "the benefit of the doubt" when he really didn't deserve it. The result? He got to do the stringing.....
Best you can do is chalk this up to a very unpleasant "learning experience".... and keep yourself alert le... (read in full...)
Some queries about my relationship. Should I go on the pill? He'd like oral sex but I'm not comfortable with it?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We have used condoms, and the pull out method , when we have had sex. He wants me to try using the pill. I'm nervous about it though, as I have never used it before (he is the only person I have had sex with ...
A. 11 January 2013: IF you don't prefer to, or like to, give him oral sex, then THAT determines that detail of your's and his sex activities.....
IF he likes to - and you enjoy - that HE performs oral sex for you, then THAT determines ANOTHER detail of your's a... (read in full...)
What to say? Can't stand fathers beliefs
Q. My father is conversative and doesn't want to know anyone else's opinion. I can't stand how he is. He thinks having children out if wedlock is "ruining The family". This makes no logical sense to me. It's not like his family is close. How canyou ...
A. 11 January 2013: With the several exchanges and follow-ups, it becomes clearer that you and your Father have widely diverse standards and expectations.... That's not uncommon.
What I can't understand.... and would want to extend to you... is my opinion that you... (read in full...)
How could he go from telling me he loved me to nothing?
Q. I am in my 3rd year of college and just broke up with my 2nd serious boyfriend. We met thru friends and felt like we'd known each other forever. We went on dates for only 8 days and decided to make it official. I had heard alot about him through ...
A. 10 January 2013: I think the key to your submittal is this sentence: "I have rationalized it to that he tried to change and "behave" for me but just couldn't do it anymore...."
So.... WHAT's the question? "Who he is" is incompatible with "who you want to spend... (read in full...)
I'm the wife of a crossdresser and my life is a mess
Q. I need help i have known for 2 yrs now that my husband is a crossdresser, we have been together 11 yrs and have 4 kids. Everythung was good until he started crossdressing. He is a hard working great man but my needs are not met like they used to be. ...
A. 10 January 2013: If I understand correctly, guys don't just, spontaneously, start crossdressing when they are in their thirties.... I'd wager that this is something that he has done for a LONG time....he suppressed this part of him for the 11 years that you have ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my BF has been flirting , possible cheating, with another girl. Struggling with what to do.
Q. I am 19 years old. In June 2011 I started a relationship with my partner. We had a few rocky bumps with his family which made us stronger, it was hard but after being able to stick with each other it felt great. In January 2012 we moved into our ...
A. 10 January 2013: Soooo, OP... may we conclude that his sorry a$$ will be out by nightfall.... and this matter is "closed"?????
Isn't it crazy what we guys will do to act stupid????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Do I keep my 8 year marriage? Or my baby that is probably not my husbands?
Q. I am 26 and been with my husband for 8 years and married for 6, we found out about year 2 of our relationship that my husband had a very little chance of getting me pregnant . We struggled with this over the the whole duration of our relationship ...
A. 10 January 2013: Bunny: It sounds as if aborting this pregnancy is out of the question.... For that, I commend you. HOWEVER.....
IF this child is the fruit of your one-night stand... AND you want your marriage to endure.... THEN you have to reconcile this inc... (read in full...)
The mental images of my wife having sex with other men from the past are killing me!
Q. Hi, I hope someone can help me. Like many other 'askers' on this site, I have trouble accepting my wife's sexual past (though I am truly getting better and better). I am in the process of starting therapy again to help me get through these intense ...
A. 10 January 2013: I always say that, if you are having problems imagining your PARTNER having s*x with some other person..... the best way to ward off the disdain (and the "yeeechy" feeling).... is to imagine YOUR PARENTS having s*x, and spawning you.....
This ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a coworker who is stealing?
Q. Hi! This isnt actually a " relationship " question, but I really need some help in regards to a boy I work with. Im 23 and work part time as a waitress. Anyways Im having some issues with him. Hes been stealing tips, my boss knows and says to keep ...
A. 10 January 2013: IF there is someone - say, a busboy - who is STEALING your tips... then your BOSS needs to take that as seriously as if someone came in and took cash from the cash register.
IF, as you note, your boss is aware of this pilfering of tips....... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 7 months and no sex!
Q. I am dating the guy for seven months now.. and we didn't have any sex! he didn't tell me I love you.. he is 23 years old and I am 40.. I feel his love but he didn't want to admit it! should I continue?...
A. 10 January 2013: Many times, folks on here have heard me refer to the "four-date rule".... a sly ruse used to get a girl in bed.
THIS guy, who you are dating, seems to not understand the ruse... or has mis-read it, and believe it's the "four HUNDRED DAY" rule....... (read in full...)
What to say? Can't stand fathers beliefs
Q. My father is conversative and doesn't want to know anyone else's opinion. I can't stand how he is. He thinks having children out if wedlock is "ruining The family". This makes no logical sense to me. It's not like his family is close. How canyou ...
A. 10 January 2013: maccamega: How about a follow-up post in which you give us "the REST of the story"????? I'm quite certain that there is more to your "question" than what you've told us...
Thanx, in advance........ (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to dislike the fact that my B/f' 5 year old son crawls into bed with us every morning, then fidgets, talks, crawls all over us?
Q. A brief question to all you helpful people... I'm in a great new(er) relationship that is fairly serious, and I have just moved in with my boyfriend, although I've been unofficially living with him for three months. My lease just expired, my thin...
A. 10 January 2013: The issue is between you and B/F, of course. AND, the two of you need to sit down and iron out the details....
A five-year-old IS likely to want to be very close to his "Daddy"..... and a strange woman (you!) is a threat to that relation... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my BF has been flirting , possible cheating, with another girl. Struggling with what to do.
Q. I am 19 years old. In June 2011 I started a relationship with my partner. We had a few rocky bumps with his family which made us stronger, it was hard but after being able to stick with each other it felt great. In January 2012 we moved into our ...
A. 10 January 2013: IF... he and this not-very-upstanding "friend" had only a romantic "slide by" then, perhaps, you should chalk the whole thing up to a learning process.... wherein HE learned that having a "real relationship" is not the same as liking one of the ... (read in full...)
My married lover has given his wife 6 months to give him more sex. What should I do?
Q. Im 35 and single and I met this 38 year old guy that has been married for 15years, we started off just being cool and each time we saw one another he would always talk about his wife saying things like how bad she treats him, how he let his wife ...
A. 10 January 2013: WE men know that about 90% of the women in this world will be sympathetic to the stories such as what YOU related that HE is telling you.... Those 90% see the "poor, mistreated" fellow much like an abandoned puppy, and react humanely.... and this ... (read in full...)
How much porn use is too much?
Q. How much porn use is too much? I am a 19 year old virgin and am single. I have only one ex where I did not use any porn for most of the relationship until the end when we broke up over distance issues (college). It's been about 5 months since our...
A. 9 January 2013: Listen... I bet there are oodles of guys on this site who could tell you this:
If we (all) had a nickel for every time we put ourselves down for "lack of success with females".... we would constitute a rich contingent of men-of-t... (read in full...)
Why does my wife insist on lying about my penis size?
Q. As I have said on previous posts, my wife has had about of 25 sexual partners before me (we met each other when she was 40). She is a very well educated and very kind person. At the begining we were very open during our conversations and at that ...
A. 9 January 2013: OP: GET OVER IT!!!! You've absolutely GOT to have something better to fret over.
If you can't think of any such thing.... let me remind you that about 30% of the people in this world will go to bed hungry tonight. ... and all you can worry ab... (read in full...)
I gave my b/f alot of money not expecting it back but I feel selfish because he still hasn't even gotten me a christmas gift. Am I wrong to feel this way?
Q. Around Christmas time, things were pretty rough for my boyfriend of 2 years; he had just recently gotten into a new career after being unemployed for several months, and was in desperate need of money in order to put a down payment on a car/car ...
A. 9 January 2013: I suggest that you drop the "Christmas" facade.... and not bother to worry about being selfish..... and focus on this:
You guy was in straights.... money was tight.... you came through to bail him out from a difficult situation... and, now that... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is going on online dating sites. Do I have a right to be upset about this?
Q. I am having had a bad time again with my boyfriend. We have been back together after we broke up because of his online dating sites. Over the course of a year, we had argument after argument over his lies and refusal to accept that I had the right ...
A. 9 January 2013: WHEN are you going to dump this guy for the "FINAL" time? 'Cuz you need to do that, so's you can get on with your life.....
Goood luck...... (read in full...)
We're half way across the world, spend a day together. Am I crazy for thinking of trying to pursue this?
Q. I met this guy recently while I was travelling overseas in Germany. He came over to me and said for some reason he just felt the need to talk to me. We hit it off just fine and spent the day and night together hanging out. He wanted me to stay ...
A. 9 January 2013: I my opinion, there is really only ONE "question" about your submittal.... That is: Did you put out for him when you and he "...hit it off just fine and spent the day and night together...."
You can get widely different responses based upon the... (read in full...)
I gave up my job, my apartment for him but his controlling wife won't let him go
Q. Since 2 years I am in a relationship with a man. After a while I found out that he is married and has a 9 years old daughter. We were leaving in different countries and he didnt tell me from the start that he is married and has a kid. His marriage...
A. 9 January 2013: You ask: "What should I do? I gave up at my job, my apartment,everything for him. I dont want to lose, any advices?"
Yes.... this spineless creature really isn't at the top of the list of "Men who have become adults and seek to start a REAL rel... (read in full...)
If he is getting help for his problems, would it be so bad if I took him back in a year or so?
Q. I posted a question a few days ago, but here is an update. I knew my boyfriend of 3 years was lying to me about certain things so I got access to his email account on Friday night, then did the same thing to his facebook account. I found dozens a...
A. 8 January 2013: Sure people can change..... BUT....
... why spend your time and mental energy, over the next year, musing about this (HIS!) transformation... which may - or may NOT - occur????
Get on with your life.... and, if the stars line up correctly, in... (read in full...)
I'm back with my ex but I'm not sure its a good thing
Q. Has too much happened to try again? I've been in realationship with now ex bf for 5 months. He really swept me off my feet, we have fun and are into the same things. The relationship has been full on virtually from the beginning. I'm a lone paren...
A. 8 January 2013: You write: "Or am I being crazy? My initial reaction was to get out but now...."
Yes.... you are being crazy. Don't you recognize his physical attack on you as the beginning of other - more serious - such attacks (if you keep hanging around w... (read in full...)
Why does my BF go quiet for a few days after we've had sex? Does this mean he only contacts me when he's horny?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now and he has a habit which upsets me quite a bit. A lot of the time when we have sex he goes very quiet for a couple of days afterwards. He will text me regularly and call every night beforehand ...
A. 7 January 2013: Please focus on this phrase in your submittal:
"We have also discussed marriage etc so I don't think he sees me as just a FWB either..."
Let me correct you. We guys will discuss ANYTHING.... from marriage to the likely name of the next Dali La... (read in full...)
BF asked me to tell his teenage daughter that she was dressed inappropriately but I don't feel it's my place! Thoughts?
Q. Hey everyone , I'm 25 my boyfriend is 37 and he has a 14 year old daughter. His childs mother lives in another state and his parents and himself raises her. His mom had a party for New Years and I went, I was extremely surprised when I saw his daug...
A. 7 January 2013: I'll focus on the "fact" that you're closer in age to the daughter than to the Daddy..... and suggest that you dump HIM and become BFF with HER........ (read in full...)
What is the key to happiness? Is it a sum of everything, or something specific (such as love)?
Q. They say you "can't find a home in the arms of a man", I suppose meaning that a man can't provide you happiness or be 'the big thing' of your life. I just wonder, what is the key to happiness if it isn't love (as in a relationship)? I...
A. 7 January 2013: The key to happiness is to pretend, or imagine, that you are a wind indicator... and that life is the wind.....
Then, remember that you can point in the direction that the wind is coming... but you can't do much about it...... (read in full...)
Am I completely ruining my life? Do I need to stop drinking? Get help?
Q. So I've recently been doing a great job at ruining my life. After a horrific break-up with a recent ex, (we'll call him M) I've just managed to make a balls of my life at every open opportunity. After the relationship ended I was feeling quite fr...
A. 7 January 2013: Yes... you are being dramatic.
It wouldn't hurt to eliminate or curtail any drinking...
If these issues that you describe are affecting you more than you wish.... it wouldn't hurt to seek a counsellor's opinion......
Much of what you desc... (read in full...)
How can I get my fat girlfriend to lose weight?
Q. MOD NOTE: This was original poster's chosen title... Hi all Ive been with my OH (other half) for nearly 4 years now - when we first met she was 196lbs at 5ft 10 and it didnt bother me much. I was still attracted. Now, she is 219lbs! and thou...
A. 7 January 2013: You may not be a pig... but you are pretty darned shallow, considering all else in your submittal....
There is no sensitive way to refer to a woman's overweightedness..... and there's not a darn thing you can do to HELP her lose any weight s... (read in full...)
I'm still having trouble accepting my boyfriend's past
Q. I've been with a great guy for the last year...but I'm still having trouble accepting his past. He's the only guy I've even slept (or done anything sexual) with, but he has 4 exes that he's been with. I think about it everyday, wondering if he ...
A. 7 January 2013: Just a quick question for you to consider:
IF you break up with this guy... then take up with another B/F in the future.... don't you suppose you may well go through this same sequence, again and again, until you locate that pristine... (read in full...)
I want sex more than my girlfriend and she told me I can have a F buddy
Q. i'm in a relationship with a girl i love.my problem is i want sex too much.we do everything everywhere and have sex once everyday for at least two hours. sumtimes i have to masterbate a couple of times around this.she recently told me she wont say ...
A. 7 January 2013: You have a situation that most guys would envy.... AND, it's noble that you don't want to consider the F-buddy arrangement that G/F has suggested....
IF you would like to supress your s*xual cravings, I suggest that you carry around a photogra... (read in full...)
Is this as sign that my husband is having an affair?
Q. My husband had a strand of hair wrapped around his penis. It wasn't mine. He says that our daughters hair that gets everywhere including our brushes in our room, has got caught in his clothes and worked its way down there. And that this is a common ...
A. 6 January 2013: Here's my objective assessment:
YOU detected a hair somewhere on your man where it would be unlikely to find a stray hair.... especially one that appears to not be YOUR's!!!!!
HE had a ready story.... perhaps "too ready".... as a great "explana... (read in full...)
Been seeing him for 3 months but he won't say whether or not it's a relationship. How do I get him to open up?
Q. Hi cupids, advice needed. After a horrid start to last year (splitting with ex due to him cheating while I was having our baby) I met someone a few months after who's a really good guy. We've been together now 3 months, see each other 5/6 times a ...
A. 6 January 2013: He really doesn't have to "open up".... since YOU have agreed to be his "girl" regardless of what he does....
This is the classic story of a guy not/never making any kind of committment to a girl until/unless SHE forces it.
I suggest you forc... (read in full...)
I think I want to split with my BF of 3 years but I'm scared I won't meet anyone else and doubtful about ending it. Any thought?
Q. I think I'm having a bit of a quarter life crisis right now and I'm looking for some advice. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Recently I have come to realise that I don't think I can't see myself marrying him. He is quite a ...
A. 6 January 2013: You write: "I have got it into my head that I am too old to meet someone else now...."
C'mon down here to Florida and see how many of us old codgers are having VERY active dating and fooling around and socializing and everything-else lives...... (read in full...)
My BF of 7.5 years, father of our son, won't propose! I want us to be married, but he says he's not ready now.
Q. I am 29 years old and live with my boyfriend, who is 31 years old and we have been together for over 7 years. Together we have a son of 3 1/2 years old. We have lived together most of our relationship. We fell in love fast and knew immediately we ...
A. 6 January 2013: This is really all about how YOU handle his failure to make a committment to you and your child.....
You can continue as things are.... indefinitely.... which would make him happy, indefinitely.... OR,
You could say to him, "You know, lovey... (read in full...)
I have no motivation. How can I stop procrastinating and enjoy life?
Q. Not sure what is wrong... I have been feeling sad, lack motivation, and interest. I just want to watch tv all day except when I have to go to work. I have tons of things I need to get done in life, but I just sit on my couch and put it off. What c...
A. 6 January 2013: I used to procrastinate. In fact, about six months ago, I subscribed to a publication titled "Procrastinator's Monthly"....
I sent in my subscription information... and I'm STILL waiting for my first issue to show up!!!!....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is being evasive. Is he scared of change?
Q. When my husband left, my daughters and I were left with nothing. We had to start from scratch. I started dating my boyfriend 3 1/2 years ago, after my husband left. 6 months later he asked me to marry him when my divorce came thru. We are finally ...
A. 6 January 2013: What he's REALLY afraid of is the encroaching ADULTHOOD.. with its attendant RESPONSIBILITY and DECISION-MAKING that he has successfully deflected, up until now....
YOU can either make the decisions FOR HIM... or sit on the side and wait for him ... (read in full...)
BF of 2 years either doesn't pick up the phone, or he's verbally abusive. Is this because he got sex and doesn't need me now?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 2 years lives in a different city, I visited him 2 days back and we spent a day together. I came back to my work city yesterday. From yesterday he is not picking my calls or calling me back. Even if he picks up, he calls ...
A. 6 January 2013: You can take a shower and - figuratively - parse the "dirty" from yourself.....
As to the rest of your "question"...... YES, this cad USED you for s*x.... and got what he wanted... so he did what so many guys do.... he cast you aside...... (read in full...)
He is special to me. What can I do to make my husband feel like he is really special to me?
Q. im a stay at home mom with three children aged 2 to 7 years. Last night my husband said i don't do half of what he does. i feel bad. i take care of house hold and kids no break. i keep a clean house. He takes care of us to the max. always buyi...
A. 5 January 2013: While my first reaction is to suggest that you take him aside and tell him how much of an A$S he is being.... I'd like to put that aside and suggest this:
He's saying things to you, which things are hurtful and divisive..... They're really k... (read in full...)
Why does my wife insist on lying about my penis size?
Q. As I have said on previous posts, my wife has had about of 25 sexual partners before me (we met each other when she was 40). She is a very well educated and very kind person. At the begining we were very open during our conversations and at that ...
A. 3 January 2013: When I read your submittal I couldn't help but imagine two people - a man and a woman - in bed.... and him with an enormous "manhood"... and her saying to him: "My, what a cute little peeny you have there....."
C'mon, wake up!!!! Fixating... (read in full...)
How much porn use is too much?
Q. How much porn use is too much? I am a 19 year old virgin and am single. I have only one ex where I did not use any porn for most of the relationship until the end when we broke up over distance issues (college). It's been about 5 months since our...
A. 1 January 2013:
There's a whole spectrum of how much porn is too much....
For a Catholic priest, a patch of bare skin might be outside the realm of acceptable.... For a well-hung porn star, he might be involved with porn every day, and see it as simply a rou... (read in full...)
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