How much porn use is too much?
Q. How much porn use is too much? I am a 19 year old virgin and am single. I have only one ex where I did not use any porn for most of the relationship until the end when we broke up over distance issues (college). It's been about 5 months since our...
A. 9 January 2013: Listen... I bet there are oodles of guys on this site who could tell you this:
If we (all) had a nickel for every time we put ourselves down for "lack of success with females".... we would constitute a rich contingent of men-of-t... (read in full...)
I do not like the fact that my B/f was previously engaged and shared so many great memories with his ex
Q. I have a boyfriend who was with a woman for 7 years they were engaged (I do not know for how long). Anyways, their relationship was mainly long distance with her in Europe and him in the U.S. He would basically fly to Europe to be with her multiple ...
A. 2 January 2013: No... it's not "wrong" for you to feel as you've described, OR any other way....
What's out-of-sync - as you describe it - is that you would like to be with a man who is not too worldly.... and you'd like to share your exploration of this world wi... (read in full...)
My husband watches porn while I am at work.
Q. I have been with my husband for three years marrird for two.I am very depressed .my husband watches porn while I am at work.He doesnt work or do anything around the house.I tried to talk to him about this but he days he doesnt have a problem.He lies ...
A. 2 January 2013: I can't resist to ask: Are you the breadwinner for this household?... (read in full...)
The psychic has poisoned me against my lover, and I'm a believer in self-fulfilling prophecies!
Q. I am perfectly, ecstatically happy with my boyfriend. We've been together for eight months, and have learned how to open up, how to love, how to communicate, so many "how"s, and we absolutely adore each other. We're compatible emotionally, ...
A. 2 January 2013: May I apologize in advance? .....Then, tell you that I got a fortune cookie at Chinese restaurant tonight, and it said: "Tell her to ignore the psychic"
Good luck........ (read in full...)
Is having a threesome a good idea to spice up our sex life?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm 23 year old turning 24 in 2 months..I'm married to this gorgeous man I love and everything is going great,but we always need something to spice up our sex life.rather I need something to spice up our sex life..so I decided to sugge...
A. 2 January 2013: After you've asked hubby for this, and he's consented,... then I give it a 50:50 chance of ruining your marriage in less than a year.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
His mother is terminally ill, what is the right thing for me to do?
Q. I started dating a guy at the beginning of November 2012. We hit it off right off the bat, and we both agreed that it felt like we have known each other forever. Holidays were coming up and so was his mothers lung cancer progression. He started to ...
A. 1 January 2013: The "right" thing to do is to let HIM have total control of what is going on between the two of you...
HE has the ultimate stress on his plate.... so you can be his best friend simply by letting him know. TELL HIM, in a brief phone call, that you... (read in full...)
My mother's boyfriend treats my brother very badly
Q. I've spent a lot of time at my mum and her boyfriend's house this week and I've heard him call my brother a little scrote, douchebag, idiot, prick, pillock. He also threated to smash his wii and cut his signed football in half. He has also banned h...
A. 1 January 2013: LISTEN TO (read) those responses which have preceded mine (this one).... and be prepared to intervene if your brother actually IS in danger, as I suspect. THAT is what great Sisters do (mine would!).....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's past threesome never bothered me before but now it does
Q. I've been seeing this girl for about a year now. She told me about 6 months ago that she had been involved in a threesome. It'd happened about 15 years ago. It honestly didn't really bother me at all. I know girls experiment and everything and it ...
A. 1 January 2013: While I understand - and largely agree with - the "let it go" sentiment that several have posted.... I DO have this one caveat:
The description you gave of her and these several incidents would make me believe that she "uses" sex as a carrot A... (read in full...)
My friend stuck her used vibrator in my boyfriend's face
Q. So recently ive found myself in a strange situation and its one i never thought i would expect to deal with in a relationship and i truly hope no woman ever has to deal with this. I know your all thinking you boyfriend cheated on you. Wrong. So it ...
A. 1 January 2013: I see that this was posted on December 31, 2012.... and can't help but imagine that it is an attempt to win the
"Goofiest thing I and my friends did whilest under the influence of alcohol" contest for 2012. It's a late entry, but it's a dand... (read in full...)
We feel like we are playing with fire and we're trapped in an emotional stalemate. What can we do?
Q. I've fallen hard for a co-worker. I'm married, and she has a long term boyfriend. When I started the job we both noticed each other but neither of us were looking for anything more. I realised the crush I had on her was stronger than I had inten...
A. 1 January 2013: Yes... there is a great thrill in parachute jumping.... UNTIL the darn thing doesn't open.... and you experience the hard landing at the bottom....
Hope (both of) your 'chutes open soon....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Can I still get her back? Am I stupid to want her back?
Q. Three months ago I heard my ex flirting on the phone with a man (saying stuff like "I'm thinking about you too", they had obviously been meeting), which really hurt me and made me write a touching goodbye message to her. She told me she loves me...
A. 1 January 2013: Well... it's a gut-wrenching game that the two of you are playing.....
Maybe some day the two of you will decide to discontinue the game and something(s) will change. Until that day, steel yourself for more of the same....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My Cheating Boyfriend won't end his "affair" but I can't find the strength to leave him? How do I find the strength? What can I do?
Q. I am 22 years old and have been dealing with a major issue in my relationship with my son's father. I have been with him for 6 years and our son is 2 years old. A little over a month ago I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. He is 29 and ha...
A. 1 January 2013: Lets focus on this, from our submittal:
"I don't understand him. " I'll help.....
He's a dog... not a soft, cuddly dog... but a lying, cheating dog..... YOU (and your son) will be far better off WITHOUT him in your lives..... and he can go of... (read in full...)
Two months together but not "official" yet. Is he up to no good? I want to lose my virginity with him. Can you give me advice please?
Q. modnote: OP - People will ask so please advise in followup why you cannot obtain Birth Control in US?? Hi all, and Happy New Year! So I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now... we're pretty much a couple even though there isn't any o...
A. 1 January 2013: My response focuses on these two statements that you've made:
1. "I've come to really like him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way." and,
2. "..what if this guy is really up to no good? what if he ends up breaking my heart or somethi... (read in full...)
How much porn use is too much?
Q. How much porn use is too much? I am a 19 year old virgin and am single. I have only one ex where I did not use any porn for most of the relationship until the end when we broke up over distance issues (college). It's been about 5 months since our...
A. 1 January 2013:
There's a whole spectrum of how much porn is too much....
For a Catholic priest, a patch of bare skin might be outside the realm of acceptable.... For a well-hung porn star, he might be involved with porn every day, and see it as simply a rou... (read in full...)
Is she genuinely interested in me or desperate?
Q. I am writing this letter to seek your valuable advise. There is this woman working in the same building as me but in a different office. When she joined her office, she was introduced to me by the HR who is common to both of us. It has been alm...
A. 1 January 2013: Why ask such - and so many - questions? How about just "going with the flow" and seeing what plays out?
You've admitted that you fancy her... and, now, she's given you the opening to act upon that fancy....
You may find that you and she "hit... (read in full...)
I'm abstaining from alcohol for my health, but my family are making unhelpful comments!
Q. In September off 2011, I had way too much to drink. I was lucky I did not die from alcohol poisoning. After that day, I have not drank any alcoholic bevages. The problem is my sister-in-law and her family. They keep on trying to get me to dri...
A. 1 January 2013: This is your time to blend in with the surroundings and not let yourself take a martyr position......
If/when others offer liquor to you, you can simply decline, politely.... "No thanks, I'll have a soda (or juice, or, whatever...)" Don't as... (read in full...)
My ex said we can get back together if things don't work out with her current boyfriend, but I can't handle the thought of her giving her virginity to someone else.
Q. The relationship with my ex-girlfriend is a long and complicated one so I’ll try to explain it as clearly and concise as possible. (The names used are not the real names of people involved) We first started dating during our sophomore year o...
A. 31 December 2012: Think about it: She's telling you that you can be her "fallback" or "second-string" B/F... available in the event that she can't keep something/whatever going.....
Not much of a boastable position to be in, is it?
I suggest you wait until s... (read in full...)
When a guy writes "xxxx" to you, does it mean he likes you?
Q. Well, there's this guy I like. I have known him for awhile. We hugged and stuff but just recently he has been talkin to me more than usual. After talking with him he put after his text, xxxx. Now I know xoxo means Hugh's and kisses but could xxxx ...
A. 31 December 2012: Sure. It means four kisses and no hugs.... IF your shoulders are killing you and you could use a little rub, there, you won't find it at the end of his missive.... Maybe next time???
Good luck....
P.S. Be happy that he doesn't close wi... (read in full...)
I want my BF to grow up and save $ - Am I controlling?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for two years. He doesn't have a car or a license. So I drive him to and from work and everywhere else every day except on his days off. He pays for gas, most of it, and buys a few groceries since I stay with him at h...
A. 31 December 2012: Doesn't sound to me like you're "controlling" .....
"sounds" like you're expecting him to grow up and become a real adult. What's the harm in that?????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is this guy just a user?
Q. When dating a guy for 2years he is laying in bed with me present girl freind a ex girlfreind calls while we are in bed making love.She tells my guy she loves him and he responds back and tells her he loves her to. Then hang up the phone and tells ...
A. 31 December 2012: Well.... you can continue to be his fool.... OR, you can decide NOT TO BE (his fool).......
Figure out which you prefer to be... then play that part in his life.... (If you choose NOT to be his fool, then you can drop the ".... in his life..."... (read in full...)
How do I help my b/f get over fights without always breaking up?
Q. Me and my boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend have been dating on and off for the past year. He was the one who always broke it off because we'd get in a fight. How do I help him over come the fights we have without breaking it off all the time?...
A. 31 December 2012: Don't bother. Get a B/F who doesn't walk away any time there is a little stress or strain between the two of you...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Help me give advice, is her guy drawn to her because he needs her?
Q. If a man is 39 years old and has his own house that he gets behind on payments with and the only thing he does is sit and play video games and watches movies when he's not at work or at his mom's house where she cooks for him and does his laundry. ...
A. 30 December 2012: You write: "...but I don't want to give advice to someone because I'm not good at relationships at all, just need some honest opinions..."
Soooo, tell her that this guy is a jerk and isn't worth her time or attention...
Tell her "Good luck" ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend suffers from OCD and is too set in his ways. How can I get him to change?
Q. My boyfriend is too stuck in his ways.. He suffers with anxiety and ocd, its really quite bad but I knew this before I stated going out with him, I just feel its getting to much for me even though I love him. He won't get on buses to go places w...
A. 30 December 2012: You can't. IF he is OCD you have to learn to accept it.... and either LIVE with it/him.... or separate from him because you can't tolerate it......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I seen photos of b/f with girls in his hotel room. Did he cheat on me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. we both went out on a night out with our mates and i ended up going into the place he was and seen him with girls i have never seen before. He went on a lads holiday to zante last year and i ...
A. 30 December 2012: I think the only way that someone/anyone could more clearly make you see that this guy is a creep... would be for them to imprint those pictures on a baseball bat (a cricket wicker?) and smack you on the forehead with it....
WHY bother to give thi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes much younger women and I'm worried about him leaving me for someone younger than me
Q. I have two problems which are really causing me a lot of stress. You see, I am a 22 years old and looking to get married. I've lived in 4 countries, speak multiple languages, don't drink/smoke/go clubbing, and am almost finished with university. I ...
A. 30 December 2012: I see THIS: "He started dating the coworker, soon found out she was cheating on him, and punched her until she bled. He has 2 kids with his ex wife, but is hardly in their lives, has been in many fights, involved in mafia(ie. human trafficking), ... (read in full...)
Since my miscarriage and his uncaring attitude I don't think I can love him any more. What are my options?
Q. I have really been feeling like I've grown to hate my boyfriend at times. There are times when I think what would I do without him? I feel I don't want to leave him because all my friends either live on the other side of the country or I've ...
A. 28 December 2012: You write: "I don't think I can love him the same anymore."
Note: HE didn't/doesn't love YOU even a LITTLE BIT.... so, swallow hard and chalk it up to "experience" that you found a loser-of-a-guy.... and consider that - perhaps - your miscarry... (read in full...)
How can I ask my LDR about his reluctance to find time for me without me sounding clingy?
Q. hello guys, happy holidays! anyway having this things in my mind is really confusing me, i really dont know if this could be a problem, or im just needy and demanding girlfriend, here it is im with a amazing man right now were been 3 years kn...
A. 27 December 2012: Do you and he communicate in any form of text when you cannot Skype or telephone one-another????
It's a long-lost form... but many of us used to send MAIL (letters) to one-another whilest we were courting.... it is a great way to put thoughts... (read in full...)
How do I converse with my clients in the beauty industry? What can I say or ask or not ask?
Q. I am a quiet, more reserved person but I just recently got a position in the beauty industry Now I am required to conversate with clients.. I'm not sure what topics to talk about. What should I do to maintain long term relations with clients?...
A. 27 December 2012: Ciar is quite-right... HOWEVER you will have to make sure that you are not so quiet as to appear disinterested and standoffish......
The best and easiest way to start and keep "conversations" going is to ask open-ended questions that let the othe... (read in full...)
Ruined meal! I am disappointed with my friends and I don't know how to tell them how much. What can I do?
Q. I know there are people on here with real problems but if you could please take a minute to read my post I'd appreciate it. I feel really let down and annoyed by my so called friends. The 4 of us were trying to arrange a meal out before Chr...
A. 27 December 2012: While it's tempting to give them a "pass" for their impolite and inconsiderate behaviour.... IF you like them and wish to hang together in the future.... HOW ABOUT you suggest that the NEXT TIME they want to "share" a dinner, you do it AT SOMEONE ... (read in full...)
He needs to accept that NO is an answer. Surely, if he cared, he's stop asking for anal?
Q. So I've been with my partner 2 years. He wanted to try anal since we got together but until a few months ago I said no. Well a few months ago I let him try and I hated it. Add to this I was in pain for 3 days. I thought to let him try twice mo...
A. 27 December 2012: SVC: You did a good job putting the "question" (and, more importantly, the ANSWER!!!) in perspective..... and you didn't mince any words....
Case closed........ (read in full...)
I want a relationship with trust and honesty!
Q. I have caught my boyfriend on dating sites 5 times this year. He has promised to stop doing it from now on. He said that all the other times too. I find all i do lately is look for evidence of him doing it again. Just like i have done in the past ...
A. 27 December 2012: Just a few days ago we had this very same question.. with the sexes reversed (She went to the dating sites)... and the concensus was: End it.....
Case closed...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My bf likes to sleep with other people and doesn´t mind if I do either
Q. I recently met this guy online who has since told me that he thinks we were made for each other. I was totally into him from the second we first met. We have mind blowing sex and he says he has never loved anyone or anything until he met me. He a...
A. 27 December 2012: BieneMaya: You write that you are "still confused"....
WHY bother spending even a moment in time, or an iota of mental energy being confused?
You met this guy ... were attracted to him... He CLAIMED that he was attracted to you... then, he ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I love my wife. I miss her. It's no no no too often. It hurts.There is no romance or passion in our marriage
Q. To start with I know woman like to say stuff like "your wife just needs you to be more affectionate" on these types of forums when men say they have this problem. This isn’t one of those situations at all...let me explain. Me and my wife have been ...
A. 27 December 2012: May I post again?
My "point" was (and is) that, when two people try to make a relationship happen.... but those two people have a mismatch of their desires relative to sensuality/intimacy and sex.... then they are NOT a compatible couple..... (read in full...)
How long does it take to heal from your first serious relationship?
Q. So my ex and i have been broken up for about 1 1/2 months..and its gotten easier..but ever once and a while ill have flash backs of our relationship and feel sad...so I havnt completely healed. Turns out hes been asking around about how iv been to ...
A. 27 December 2012: My first "relationship" began in Dacember, 1966. I'm STILL trying to get over it.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship revolving around sex good or bad?
Q. Hi, I have a man I met on this blogging website. Naturally people tend to meet kindrid spirits there. I met a man and we both wanted to meet so bad. So we did and hit it off hard. Now we are in a long distance relationship, from florida to idaho...
A. 26 December 2012: "Sounds" like you've found yourself a compatible "phone-" and "cyber-sex" partner......
What you've described is a little short of realistic... but it can be fun, until life bursts in and makes you see just what you (and he) "have".....
Prepare... (read in full...)
My bf likes to sleep with other people and doesn´t mind if I do either
Q. I recently met this guy online who has since told me that he thinks we were made for each other. I was totally into him from the second we first met. We have mind blowing sex and he says he has never loved anyone or anything until he met me. He a...
A. 26 December 2012: Let's boil this down to the specifics:
1. HE'S a man-slut,.... and you've fallen for him,
2. HE sez you can become a girl-slut, if you'd like. That means that YOU can reduce yourself to HIS primative level, and he'll grant you a "pass."
... (read in full...)
Am I being a complete fool?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a man I'm very much in love with for the past 2-1/2 years. We are both going through a separation however he's a very kind hearted person one of the reasons I love him so much but he also enables his wife quite a ...
A. 25 December 2012: The two reponders prior to me have given you a pretty straight "scoop" about what is happening.....
YOU are "in a relationship" with a man who is NOT "in a relationship" (with you).... but he IS in one with his wife!!!...
The decision is clea... (read in full...)
What can I do? I love my wife. I miss her. It's no no no too often. It hurts.There is no romance or passion in our marriage
Q. To start with I know woman like to say stuff like "your wife just needs you to be more affectionate" on these types of forums when men say they have this problem. This isn’t one of those situations at all...let me explain. Me and my wife have been ...
A. 25 December 2012: This is one of my "pet" questions.... since I - like you - endured 5 years in a "relationship" in which there was a sexual-desire/preference/frequency mismatch.....
My "take" is that you knew of this mismatch, going in,... but were unawares... (read in full...)
Would he really leave his baby's mother for me? Or is he just telling me what I want to hear?
Q. I have been with this guy for seven years and during the process of five years we were facing problematic issues because he was cheating. It happened that he made love with this other gal and she became pregnant, I left this guy immediat...
A. 25 December 2012: I'm reading a story (your submittal) of two people who are not only unawares of what "committment" really means... but who prefer to remain blind to the fact that fathering children is a little more complex than going to the grocery store for a loaf ... (read in full...)
Child Support issues. Am I asking for too much? He thinks so.
Q. After separating from my husband if many years, I started to claim for child support When he got to know this from the agency he sent me a text saying, "can't believe you're doing this to me, taking my kids and family away and now also causing ...
A. 24 December 2012: Don't even BEGIN to think that you should compromise what your ex- (the FATHER of these kids) should be required to pay toward their support.....
Several have pointed out that "the Courts" have means by which to determine what is "fair" (to the ... (read in full...)
Was he over the top to break up over this after 2 years together? Was he looking for an excuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up in April of this year. He had found out I was on dating sites again. I did not want to meet anyone, because I was in love with him. I used to go on dating sites to tease the guys on them and had no intention of meet...
A. 24 December 2012: The "Father" in me wants to scold you for behaving childishly.....
Your "explanation" of going on dating sites to TAUNT the men on them is something that a young, inexperienced and naive girl would do.... rather similar to what one might expect f... (read in full...)
Ended affair last night.What can I do? Is there any point in hoping she could leave him? Or was I just played by her?
Q. I have no one else to talk to. For past year I have been in affair with coworker. Last summer we agreed that we will leave our partners and be together. I did it, she did not so I went NC for next two months. This autumn she started chasi...
A. 24 December 2012: When two attached people find one-another, strike up a romance/tryst, and claim that they are in love and wish to spend life with one-another, they are entering a minefield of emotions laced with acres of hurt, anguish and broken promises and ... (read in full...)
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