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*hellycg agony aunt


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This is me .... a kind, genuine , tolerant person, who through life has had some colourful experiences to say the least has seen some things and met some colourful and not so colourful characters, ive had a very shall we say interesting past which i believe is now helping me find my goal for the future , i always believe in treat people how you would like to be treated yourself and believe you cant go wrong with that philosophy - my family and some of my friends have tried to fit me into the the normal box (but what is normal ) but unfortunately the more they try the harder it gets, i am who i am and im so happy for that... ive been silly in the past and made some really hurrendous mistakes but im the bigger person now and know where i went wrong and what to do if it does start to go wrong and also know that its not always my fault.... We all need help and advice at some point in our lives and people who arnt your close friends or family can always have a very different spin on things , "the outsider looking in" syndrome...

I found out my girlfriend is cheating and want to give her a taste of her own medicine!

Q.   I have been dating my girlfriend for about seven months now, we separated for a month and then got together. Things haven't been the best but we have managed to be together. Last month her friend, G, came to live in our town. I talk to her a lo...

A.   1 September 2013: Hi There, after reading your question I want to ask you why you felt the need to go through her phone, there are obviously some trust issues there? Now going through her phone you have found something that has upset you or made you extremely ... (read in full...)

Am I going to lose my husband to his female business partner?

Q.   I think my husband is in love with his female friend of 2 years. I think I should be worried. I check the phone bill and her number is almost the only one on it that he calls and he calls often. They talk for hours every day. This is strange becau...

A.   1 September 2013: HI There I can understand your frustration totally as I too have been in a similar situation. First of all look at the positive side, your husband has made a success of his own business, and just so happens he has a lady business partner, making ... (read in full...)

What to do? I'm older, alone and along comes my sexy sister in law? Will it cause problems to date an ex-inlaw?

Q.   I'm a widower, I have dated a few women over the years and was not looking for a relationship,I just wanted to get out of the house and have some fun. My wife's brother's X wife called me to ask me how I was doing, I haven't talked to her since my ...

A.   20 April 2013: Well here's the thing ... first of all you can't help who you fall for, its life and it happens, and it just so happens to be your ex sister in law... It is very difficult when there are children involved younger or older but they will come around t... (read in full...)

B/f and I have been into swinging and I HATE it!

Q.   About 4 - 5 years ago, me and my boyfriend of 6 years decided to finally try swinging after playing around with the idea for a while. I was scared out of my mind that I was actually going to go through with it, but chalked it up to newbie nerves.  ...

A.   31 August 2012: HI It saddened me when I read your column This man you are with sadly has no compassion, respect or even thought of your well being, your physiological state of mind and also what must it being doing to your friends ships with these guys he wa... (read in full...)

Relationship is going down hill, after boyfriends comment about my weight!!

Q.   Good day! Well what I am asking is down to this situation here me and my boyfriend of 8 month have decided to take a break after a long argument that blew the holiday to pieces. About a month ago we had wonderful holidays together. whiles watchi...

A.   31 August 2012: Hi There. You asked a question to him, you pushed for an answer, you got an answer that you didnt particularly like, then you had a argument but you did ask him !!!! see the cycle?? Ask yourself this how would you feel if the tables were turn... (read in full...)

Am I the best my older b/f can get? He makes me feel really bad!

Q.   Help! I can't figure out what to do. I'm a beautiful, fit, extremely intelligent young woman with a great sense of humor and acceptance. I get along great with almost anyone. Most men I meet develop crushes on me, and a lot of women at work ar...

A.   28 August 2012: HI Would you be surprised to know that most men infact nearly all are more insecure than us girls... well its true... He sees you , as all of how you described and more, but feels the need to knock you down by making what he thinks are smart ... (read in full...)

I'm not as interested in sex now. Plus he complains that he has to do too much. Have I been cool? Is my behaviour rational?

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. We became friends through my ex-boyfriend - who was his friend - while I was living abroad. My new boyfriend and I started dating a week before I was returning home. Shortly after I'd moved back, it j...

A.   28 August 2012: HI You need to ask yourself is he the right person for you? where do you see yourself in say 3 years time, still with this person? Sexual side of the relationship is important as any other part of a relationship and if you are just... (read in full...)

Am I calling too much? Will he forgive me? I don't know what to do.

Q.   3 days were gone and he didnt call me , A year we are together never apart from telephone and calls, every time sayed to each other Ilove you and miss you , and qe really do, I think I have done e little mistake to telling him in the phone , I was ...

A.   28 August 2012: Hi First of all STOP CALLING HIM make him miss you if his last memories of you are from your constant calls and text, sms etc he will be angry, when a man is angry its the wrong time to call or even communicate, also dont apologise anymor... (read in full...)

We broke up he wants to get back together. What if he comes back changed?

Q.   Hi all, just wondered if u cud help. My by has split up with me yet again (we had just got back together) he used to do this all the time but up untill last time hadnt for a year. I have now realised that I am acting like a door mat and so asking ...

A.   28 August 2012: Hi... Have you ever read the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' ? if you havent I strongly recommend you do... Its a brilliant yet common sense book that we should all be given especially us women when it comes to the workings of men ... (read in full...)

Understanding Emotional Needs

Q.   Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...

A.   5 July 2012: Hi Frank, Just read your article what a relief... Ive been seeing this guy who i have known for 22 years has been one of my best friends and we got to gether a year ago or so... i dont know why we didnt sooner, he absolutely meets all my emoti... (read in full...)

Cheating? Trust broken? But can we make this work, despite the past?

Q.   My girlfriend (X) and I have been together for almost 4 years now. I like to think of myself as an open minded guy. I'm not morally opposed to having an open relationship, and at times have tried to(and sometimes succeeded) at bringing other people ...

A.   5 July 2012: Hi .... If you have an open relationship it has to be just that, and if you are both willing to have an open relationship thats fine..for some people they are happy with that kind of relationship and you wouldnt think that honesty and open rel... (read in full...)

Is this a good text to send my ex?

Q.   Is this a good text to send my ex? We ended on alright terms due to external reasons (though reasons that could be worked through in my opinion) and he seemed DESPERATE to stay friends, however 2 weeks down the line we had an argument basicall...

A.   20 June 2012: its always hard when people break up and trust me i feel for you totally, I do think tho that he was testing the water with you, to see what reaction he would get from you, as a man likes to feel wanted , trust me on this, men need space and time... (read in full...)

Be the Puppet MASTER

Q.   It does feel good to be working like I’m IN CONTROL. It’s nice to be the puppet master and not the other way around. The key is CONFIDENCE. Something I ALWAYS thought I had.. till I got tangled with a man. Yes.. a man… how could I let a man let me ...

A.   12 June 2012: Hi can i just say to all you people out there ... life is a game in some way shape or form ... if its not working for you the way you have always played and i use played in lose term then you change tactics, its not about us women being scorned or ... (read in full...)

How can I keep it a secret if I get involved with a married man?

Q.   I posted a question earlier about a relationship with an older man who is married with children. I thought he was flirting with me and it turns out he was. We met to talk about the project we're both involved in and he drove me home (again!). I...

A.   5 June 2012: Hi Please dont be fooled by his advances he is in it for one thing and think about if you had a husband and how would you feel if he did this with someone else behind your back - the whole thing is bad news - you be the one to say no to his adva... (read in full...)

Be the Puppet MASTER

Q.   It does feel good to be working like I’m IN CONTROL. It’s nice to be the puppet master and not the other way around. The key is CONFIDENCE. Something I ALWAYS thought I had.. till I got tangled with a man. Yes.. a man… how could I let a man let me ...

A.   5 June 2012: HI ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT - that sounded just like i was with my ex partner (notice the ex)? I did everything you did it was like reading about myself and him - definately learnt my mistakes - i too read the books and men are from MARS definate... (read in full...)

Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it

Q.   Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...

A.   5 June 2012: Hi The thing is ... ever heard the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder ? well you obviously love each other very much and its only human nature to be upset the first day he went... but think about it just for a minuate - try and find som... (read in full...)

Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure

Q.   Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...

A.   4 June 2012: I love your articles they are just great a true inspiration and insite into behaviour patterns... Thank you again. :) x... (read in full...)

How do I confront him?

Q.   I met this guy 3 months ago and we have been seeing each other since then. He told me he is in love with me and wants to be with only me. But still has feelings for his ex which he has a child with. Well she called wants to get back with him and ...

A.   4 June 2012: Hi My advice to you would be to confront him - he obviously is torn and do you really want to be with a man who is torn between 2 women? Him also being secretive with his phone is warning sign to me and signals that there is stuff on there th... (read in full...)

Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?

Q.   Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...

A.   3 June 2012: A B S O L U T E L Y BRILLIANT, ive just broken up with someone who we have had a very on off relationship and i think this time he is actually seeing someone else, but it could be a man or a woman , he has been the one to break it off everytime and ... (read in full...)

Why is everything conditional in this marriage to her? Am I way too forgiving?

Q.   Firstly, a big thankyou to the agony aunts who helped me through some past difficult times :) I can bring some good news. I'm still married (I'll get to that in a bit) and my work situation has improved so much. I went through a rocky period of ...

A.   3 June 2012: First of all you need to ask yourself is it really worth you staying around with a woman who for want of a better word takes the complete micky out of you, she takes your money, ignores you , treats you terribly and you are expected to stay around.. ... (read in full...)

Marriage of 20 years--I'm tired of looking the other way..I WANT OUT!

Q.   Help... In 2 weeks I celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary. but after dealing with the fact that my "loving" husband cheated on me with a prostitute i want out. He also contacted old girl friend on computer and flirts all the time with other ...

A.   3 June 2012: Hi there, its never too late, you need to look at the financial side of things of course and that goes without saying - but if you really want out then you have to do it for your sanity .. its never too late, also his past is never going to go away ... (read in full...)

7 months and he wont call me his girlfriend =[

Q.   Hi guys. I am having a problem right now and I would love for someone to help me. I met a guy in my city 7 months ago and we started communicating everyday and this has lasted 7 months. He lived 4 hours away before so meeting made it hard but rece...

A.   3 June 2012: Hi there, unfortunately or fortunately depending on which way you look at it... men are not like us women they have no concept of time and becoming exclusive or an item can scare some men they also go through different stages of dating about for ... (read in full...)

Do I send him a nasty letter or completely ignore him ?

Q.   Hi everyone, well the last couple of days have been traumatic for me to say the least, we had finished the relationship and i was doing fine, i text him to say basically do what you have to do but dont include me. He then said I had his motivati...

A.   27 May 2012: Thanks you guys , your answers are really helping me so much... he really is a horrible man - he text me this morning to say he has got the shakes (he has parkinsons) and doesnt want to talk and he will call me later, you know what im going to do ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's ex is a super model while I'm fat and ugly!

Q.   my boyfriend's ex is a super model. she is drop dead gorgeous with a perfect body. they broke some 2.5 years ago due to some misunderstandings. they really loved each other, ive seen their letters in his bag once. my boyfriend and i have been ...

A.   27 May 2012: The thing is everyone has their own insecurities, but taking it out on him is not the way, if he had an ex who is or was a supermodel, is just skin deep - he may have loved the idea but have you thought he maynot of enjoyed the attention she ... (read in full...)

What do I do about this cheating man?

Q.   I am ashamed to say I had a affair several years back and it resulted in my having a son. The man in question is over twice my age at 55 and has three grown up children. After publicly denying everything he then try's to ring and failing that starts ...

A.   20 May 2012: Get a dna test done first before you ask him for any money what so ever as the money he pays you you will have to pay back if the child is not his, also do you really want this man in your life you will never be able to trust him .... ... (read in full...)

Cross dressing has taken over his life

Q.   This is my first time on here so, here goes, ive known a man for nearly 20 years infact i was a bridesmaid at his wedding he split up from his wife about 3 years ago - she was very unkind and decided to tell everybody that he was a cross dresser ...

A.   20 May 2012: Well guys im back ..... where on earth do i begin, me and my ex partner (who is the cross dresser) started talking again, ending up going out for dinner, then i slept with him and we started seeing each other again, I did alot of soul searching and ... (read in full...)

Cross dressing has taken over his life

Q.   This is my first time on here so, here goes, ive known a man for nearly 20 years infact i was a bridesmaid at his wedding he split up from his wife about 3 years ago - she was very unkind and decided to tell everybody that he was a cross dresser ...

A.   12 April 2012: Hi to the person who is annoymous - many thanks for your mail, I cant tell you what a breath of fresh air it is talking to someone who really knows - friends can surmise and judge and give you reasons why etc... but someone who has actually been ... (read in full...)

Cross dressing has taken over his life

Q.   This is my first time on here so, here goes, ive known a man for nearly 20 years infact i was a bridesmaid at his wedding he split up from his wife about 3 years ago - she was very unkind and decided to tell everybody that he was a cross dresser ...

A.   11 April 2012: Hi everyone, just wanted to say a big thank you for those of you who have answered me so far - a big thank you for the anoymous reply - you almost seem to know him and me!!! im getting there feeling alot better have good moments and bad... thanks ... (read in full...)

Why is he still coming around when he said we didn't have a future?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for the last 2 and a half years on strictly a friends with benefits situation. Well he lived with me for around 3 months and the more I got to know him and we got along so good and he made me laugh and we just really had ...

A.   10 April 2012: Hi there , some men think they have the right to mess us around, I wouldnt take it personally , I think you may fit some of his subcontious criteria but not all , thats why he cannot commit to you properly, is it the person you are missing or the ... (read in full...)

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