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*aula4u agony aunt


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123Next > [3 pages, 65 answers]

We've never met but after three months of chatting she says she loves me

Q.   There is a woman whom I met online, who lives in another country. We communicated for quite a bit of time without meeting in person. After about 3 months of emailing, and one Skype call, she told me she loved me. She asked how I felt. I said I liked ...

A.   8 December 2016: Actually perhaps you are the only person she talks to. You can fall in love with an person you have never seen, think about the snail mail romances but... what you write is totally different of the person you are. So give her the benefit of ... (read in full...)

A threesome with my wife and another male was my fantasy. So why couldn't I get hard looking at my wife?

Q.   How would you explain this? What I am about to say was totally MY idea, even though my wife was very into it once it got started...My wife and I were in a male friends house initiating a threesome with him...up to this point you could say it was ...

A.   8 December 2016: I wonder if your wife agreed to this just to please you? by now she will also feel a failure, she doesnot turn you on at all, not even after doing that.. think on that , easier to fantasy in your head than take things to reality. My g... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks he is funny. I don't. I'm tired of it

Q.   My boyfriend finds his jokes funny but I don't. I have a virus and am feeling low and mentioned that I was in a pantomine next month. His reply was "Well Im sure they can find another ugly sister somewhere." Im not even playing that part and just ...

A.   6 November 2016: Sadly it is also his sneaky in a jokey way of demeaning you. Ie keeping upperhand. There are jokes and jokes but it grinds you down. Why is he so insecure that he needs to do this? Not my favourite type of personality, is he always doing this?? ... (read in full...)

How do I get her back without pushing?

Q.   My ex left me a year ago, because I broke her trust. I didn't cheat on her or anything like that. I went through her phone because I thought she might have been cheating. I told her what I did because I felt guilty for what I did, and she said that ...

A.   16 January 2014: If the trust had been there you could have just talked, the gf used this to end it. Nice one! After 6 years just like that? She walked away right over you, now you walk leave the past behind.... (read in full...)

What can I do really quickly to improve my skin? I am attending a wedding and I have too many pimples and other issues.

Q.   Hi friends. My problem may sound really silly but I really need some help please. I have a marriage ceremony to attend day after tomorrow and I have soooo many pimples on my forehead. I understand that having pimples is normal but it’s too much and...

A.   23 November 2013: Well everyone has given great advice reference acne but so apart from cleanliness little make up, find every day sunshine and sun your face for 10 mins only. I call it the vitamin D. Treatment... (read in full...)

Is my husband happy that I asked for the divorce?

Q.   After 11 years of marriage I found out that my husband was completely diferent of the one I though he was.He always had female friends which he always helped,send some gifts...but since a while he was connecting a lot with them and I was feeling ...

A.   23 November 2013: Yes sadly I concur, you were setup babes. Some men are just nluke that. They even get caught my n purpose so you walk out. Good luck don't look back.... (read in full...)

Does this sound like a happily married man?

Q.   I am 35 single female never married, has a crush on a manager 35 (he is married with 2 kids under 7) in the same office building. We connected on linkedin and after that it was non stop emails from him to me telling me about at first how he(only he ...

A.   9 November 2013:  What ever he is after, you deserve better than a man that is playing about.. walk away.... (read in full...)

I´d apprecaite any suggestion and any comment about his propose to me.

Q.   My BF is from another country.I was there,in his country for 5 years on a scholarship, when I met him. My impression of him was that he was a womanizer,but all his friends were telling me that he is great. We were together for 5 years,and for 1 ...

A.   9 November 2013: Sorry darling, this is already starting bad. Walk away, hard line .. walk away. You deserve better than this.... (read in full...)

Is 6 guys alot for a girl to sleep with?

Q.   I need some advise, please be honest and tell me what you think and what you would do in this situation. I recently found out my fiancé of almost 6 years had been with 6 guys before me( she was my first- she's 3 years older than me I was 22 when we ...

A.   9 November 2013: Six is just a figure , I dont feel its much. Why worry about the past, isnot the future more important. What do you want perfection? No one is. More important make up your mind what true love is and follow your heart.... (read in full...)

Could he really be happy with his wife and act that way with another woman?

Q.   I am single and met a married man recently. We spent a lot of time together talking and the chemistry was intense. We both said some extremely suggestive things we probably shouldn't have. We both wanted to go home together but he couldn't do it as ...

A.   9 November 2013: yes he can be happy but you are his little bit of fire and excitement. He wants a home, a wife, a cleaner a social standing.. and then it gets a bit boring at home so he goes out for a bit of fun. walk away. I see these guys all the... (read in full...)

I need to break things over ASAP but don't know how to go about it?

Q.   I went on a date with a guy and then got into a relationship with him, but I have since realised we are not suited/ I am not happy with this. I need to end it ASAP so as not to lead him on, but I need some advice on how. I'll give a bit of 'back st...

A.   11 March 2013: Just call him, tell him you don't want to carry on, you want to end the relationship and you are very sorry. Hang up and don't take his calls again, stock answer is no no no at the door, sms, on the phone. No sorry but no. ... (read in full...)

How can I trust that he will never hurt me again?

Q.   Hi aunts, I have written about this man on a couple of occasions in the past 3 years and got very sound advise. I thought I'd try again. So, to make a loooong story short, I met him, I was not interested, gradually he won me over comletel...

A.   11 March 2013: I've just come out of a 13 years relationship like that, yes I still love him but he lies and cheats. On top of it he us a narcissist or darned close to it. Even though he dumped me in the end, I knew he would not let go. He did not but I've... (read in full...)

Does she have feelings for me? How can I determine this by her words and her actions?

Q.   Dear all I know a woman who is single and she is aged around 42-45. We speak openly and are good friends too. When talking to me she told me that she is bored and needs company. She told me she wants to start a new life. I understand her d...

A.   11 March 2013: I would say perhaps here any guy will do, take a step back just be a friend and watch the situation. Unless you are attracted to her, what type of woman is she. If life is boring she has the power to change that herself, you are not responsible ... (read in full...)

Does anyone else feel cursed?

Q.   I wonder if anybody has the same experience I do? It is very hard to find any info on this subject, and Im hoping someone might knows the right resources for me, So I have this strong feeling, that I have been ''cursed'' or something like that. So...

A.   4 February 2013: You make your own happiness in your life, you are in control so.. yes things can go wrong, but nothing stops you from jumping up n down as soon as you see the sun and fill the room full of laughter .. Laugh at the stupid wrong things, dont ever ... (read in full...)

I don't want to be my boyfriend's doormat but I am!

Q.   Hi My bf of 3 years didnt contact me for a week, tod he called me and said he was busy. Thats it no explanation watsver for his behaviour and no aplologies and now he is not picking up his call again. I know he is not treating me right. I want...

A.   4 February 2013: Make a list of plus and minus points.. which bit is the largest? That should answer your own heart. xxx... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting to feel hurt, upset and objectified?

Q.   I hope someone can help. I'm a black woman who's been dating a white guy for the past four years. Recently I found myself with his computer. I was surfing the net and ended up peeking at his Facebook messages, which I know I shouldn't have done. ...

A.   4 February 2013: No I dont think you are over reacting, it seems a bit disrespectful.. So here is a huge hug for you, why did you look at the data? What were you looking for? If you are uncertain, ask him what is going on but he wont like that you looked at ... (read in full...)

Any tips to help me get over this and move on? I am about to break up with him. He's happy I'm leaving. His teenage children rule the house. He refuses to back me.

Q.   Hi, I won't make this too long but would really appreciate some of your views. My partner has asked me to move out of his house. We have been together 5 years and i moved in 3 1/2 years ago away from all my family and friends. He has 2 kids tha...

A.   29 January 2013: It takes two parents, two in a relationship and if communication totally breaks down....... than try to leave with as much dignity if you can. Seems talking was not enough. Once you are gone, the household will lose a valuable member so perha... (read in full...)

What is the difference between gut feelings and anxiety regarding cheating in a relationship?

Q.   Dear all, Can anyone please give advice from experience about the difference between gut feelings and anxiety regarding cheating in a relationship? I've been with my BF for over a year now and I've had a bad feeling about his female work co...

A.   22 January 2013: Walk away with your head up high .. trust your gut.... (read in full...)

Should I ask my friend for permission to sleep with her husband?

Q.   Apologies for the length of this but I think it's important to have the details.. the devil is always in the details... Me: I'm single and approaching 50. It's been a few years since my last serious relationship but I'm fine with that. Having see...

A.   22 January 2013: Walk away, not that guy, it is not worth losing a friend over. Honest!... (read in full...)

Fallen in love with my husband after our arranged marriage, but struggling to say "I love you". Any advise?

Q.   I recently got was an arranged marriage..after marriage I fell head over heels in love with my husband....idealising him like anything..a month or so he went to the states while I have to wait for my visa process to finish..long story ...

A.   22 January 2013: go to and find a really nice card to send him that tells him you love him. Thats the easiest way and its nice to be in love.. go for it girl ..;-)... (read in full...)

My niece is sleeping with my ex boyfriend. Should I confront her?

Q.   I was involved with a guy for a period of time. I left him because of his womanising ways. Since then my niece saw it fit to contact him and send him dirty pictures of herself to him and he send to her. My niece knew he and I were involved. I ...

A.   22 January 2013: Let it go, dirt attracts dirt, rise above it, find happiness and ignore them. Good luck. Hugs... (read in full...)

Is spotting normal with the pill?

Q.   Hi everyone About a month ago I had unprotected sex, he didn't actually go inside me anytime but thought it was best to get the morning after pill anyway. After getting the morning after pill I was told to come back 4 weeks later and as I was ...

A.   22 January 2013: Do not stop taking your pill. So no its not exactly normal but do not panic. Carry on taking the birthcontrol pill and hopefully things will be ok, if not.. you will know in a few days. Its not a matter of life or death a few days wont hurt. OK? ... (read in full...)

Feeling neglected. Why doesn't my partner want to make love?

Q.   Me and my partner have been together 2 and a half years and we love each other dearly. He is very affectionate and cuddles me and kisses me but when it's time for bed he just turns over and goes to sleep. Leaving me feeling frustrated, hurt and ...

A.   22 January 2013: See if there is anything you can do to improve it, sexy nightie etc etc. Is he watching porn, is he a lot on a computer? Little signs.. has he put weight on? Is he ill diabetic, prostate cancer etc etc.. Talk to him. xx... (read in full...)

Is he too comfortable with me?

Q.   hello so my question is that normal ify boyfriend masturbate in front of me while were making love, cause i feel uncomftable looking to him ? we are ldr so im might been shy to express myself in bed with him...

A.   22 January 2013: Take time out, If you feel uncomfortable, you are not with the right man. Time is what you need. Love and Sex are intertwined, is it sex you have or love, If you feel uncomfortable and he loves you, he would take the time to guide you. Neve... (read in full...)

Partner's mother belittles me. What can I do?

Q.   Hi everyone , I'm in a long distance relationship, we see each other every 2 weeks or more . The problem is his mother, she belittles me quiet a lot, she talks to me as a child and i am finding it really annoying now . I told him how I felt in a ...

A.   22 January 2013: You are in a bad place, sorry to say. Unless he understands and stands up for you. If you cant get on with family they will also never support you when you need them. Sorry.. ... (read in full...)

My father wont allow me to marry the man I love and wants to force me into marrying someone of his choice, is there any way to escape this?

Q.   Dear All I am in a state of dilemma these days. I am in love with a guy since past 3 years, we both are settled doing private jobs, he being at a senior position, me at mid level in different companies.We were together in our last organization whe...

A.   22 January 2013: you are not alone in this, have a read of this.. (read in full...)

My father wont allow me to marry the man I love and wants to force me into marrying someone of his choice, is there any way to escape this?

Q.   Dear All I am in a state of dilemma these days. I am in love with a guy since past 3 years, we both are settled doing private jobs, he being at a senior position, me at mid level in different companies.We were together in our last organization whe...

A.   22 January 2013: Please be very careful, its easy for us in Europe but you are vulnerable. Do you have family in another country that you could go and visit? Maybe in England? If your beloved truly loves you he must find a way to protect you. If you have not... (read in full...)

My father wont allow me to marry the man I love and wants to force me into marrying someone of his choice, is there any way to escape this?

Q.   Dear All I am in a state of dilemma these days. I am in love with a guy since past 3 years, we both are settled doing private jobs, he being at a senior position, me at mid level in different companies.We were together in our last organization whe...

A.   22 January 2013: My heart goes out to you. You are in such a difficult position. 1. Please be careful we hear many terrible stories , some parents are very radical. 2. Is there an organisation near you to help you? Going to do a bit of searching for you... (read in full...)

How to cope when told your husband doesn't love you the same as he used to? A 40 year marriage down the drain?

Q.   After almost 40 years of what I thought was a happy marriage my 62 year old husband said he needed space and I spent all my time and energy on the family and looking after the grand children, he felt lonely. We had had our daughter, her husband and ...

A.   22 January 2013: I would let him go, you can't force him to love or stay. Once he is alone he may find life not as nice. Then you will have the upper hand. Meantime, protect your financial status, stand straight tell him you love him and you sorry that it di... (read in full...)

Bf cheats and lies. I'm scared that breaking up will leave a void. How do I get the courage to leave?

Q.   My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me a year and a bit ago and I only recently found out. We broke up last January and got back together in May. I found out about the cheating 3 months ago after his sister had enough of his behaviour and set me s...

A.   6 January 2013: How will you ever trust again... there is no easy answer on this.. take your time next time with the next love . Take your time ... (read in full...)

She totally destroyed my confidence. How to get her out of my head? How to move on from the hurt?

Q.   Hi my girlfriend I had for two years was paranoid about me thinking I was looking at other girls eying them up and kept on saying that someone else comes along I would be off ,I kept on reassuring her and telling her I loved her ,she turned her ...

A.   5 January 2013: It will take time, I understand where you are coming from, give it time. Find a hobbie, learn something new. Support others that need support.. just do anything.. perhaps what you need is right under your nose but you cant see it because you ... (read in full...)

I prefer older men, am I normal?

Q.   I don't know why but I think I prefer much older men. It's not so much the maturity of older guys but the immaturity of guys my age. I don't know what it is but I just find myself being more drawn to them. This doesn't mean that just because a guy ...

A.   28 June 2012: I am married and my husband is 24 years older. When we first met I was in my mid thirties. I am now 58. Yes it works sometimes older men simply have more consideration and love and patience. The wise ones get rid of their wild hairs and have ... (read in full...)

Any advice on how to handle these unwanted situations?

Q.   I m 19 years old and I m constantly hit on by men the age of my dad or even older. My dad is 46. It's not just sometimes they hit on me, it's a ratio of 80/20 comparing to guys my age group. Not only it's embarrassing for me, I also don't know how...

A.   28 June 2012: Dont waste time worrying about it, these men arent getting enough at home and thats probably because the partner at home is wise on their games. Young partners are symbols on their arm. Its sad. Most of them think they are God's gift to ... (read in full...)

I stick to my values and principles, am I wrong?

Q.   I would be very grateful to get ladies view on this issue. I am a woman in my forties and very attractive, I started internet dating, I put on my profile that I take time to get to know someone and till I have feelings for them I do not have se...

A.   28 June 2012: Stick to your guns, and most sites I looked at the men are there for just playing around. Read the profile well, there are some nice men on line. Do you research and chat first before meeting them. I would advice that at the first meeting you ... (read in full...)

He has ignored me for 4 weeks, what shall I do?

Q.   Hello, I have been with a man for six years now and he has left me several times, not ever actually 'ending it' but just freezin me out, ignoring messages etc. I thought that we were done with all that and the last time was a year ago now, however ...

A.   28 June 2012: Easy to answer, sadly for you. Let him go, close the doors to him. Move on. When he comes back he will want to come back well dont accept that. Just move on and tell him you have. Get shot of this things. Sorry but when you meet a man that... (read in full...)

My sex drive has finished after a breakup, is that normal?

Q.   hey me and my girlfriend split up about 4 months ago now I'm pretty good with it not 100 percent but I'm pretty happy,rediscovered my self identity etc.anyway my labido/sex drive has pretty much vanished,i literally don't have one that ...

A.   28 June 2012: Yes to normal and sex isnot everything it will come back. There are two kinds of sex.. the passionate wow I have got to do this and stars and sparkles come, and the loving sex, like nudge nudge, a little signal of a woman or a man ... (read in full...)

Is he still upset? what should I do?

Q.   I have a friend, who had a gf and whilst we were talking he'd flirt and hint at our friendship being something more. Luckily I didn't fall for it but it turns out he was cheating on his gf and now that she's dumped him, he really really upset ...

A.   28 June 2012: Oh no! I would keep clear of him, he realised that his gf would not accept his playing away and now is trying to get her back. Its probably a power thing once lost he is back on the hunt again.. and some men will never stop, Once he feels ... (read in full...)

My boyfriends attitude has changed since I told him I loved him

Q.   helle my prob that there were a guy how loved me ; i guess ; he was nice to me , he took care of me and everything that i ever wish but i didn't love him i actualy taught that i hate him ; intel one day he totaly change he stop calling me akin me ...

A.   22 February 2010: You both are so young take time out please distance yourself. A few more years of growing up without the worry of men and love would be much better. Take time out for yourself. Good luck.... (read in full...)

I'm 16, my 46 yo relative has admitted he is in love with me

Q.   im inlove with my second cousin his 46 and lives in scotland and im 16 i want my feeling to stop but recently he told me he feels the same i live in the uk he doesnt know how i feel i just want to get over him but his texts are just solidifying my ...

A.   22 February 2010: The age difference alone shouts run girl run. No way. When he is 56 you will be 26 he will need viagra and more energy than ever for the children for the young luscious wife (YOU) when he is 76 you will be 46 u will be still young and sexi. Other ... (read in full...)

I was raped by my ex boyfriend

Q.   bout a month to 2 months ago i was at my babys dads house who i am not with we have been split for a while now well we were having sex and he asked me if he could put it in my ass i said no he said comeon y not i said no sorry i cant do that so we ...

A.   22 February 2010: Keep away from him he doesn't understand the word NO. Secondly it was assault because he said NO. Walk away my dear and make sure he pays support for his children if necessary get legal help . Good luck!... (read in full...)

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