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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Passion has gone from our private life. We don't get out socially together enough. How do I woo her back again?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 8 years now. We met in China and for several years, things were rocky. Then after so much conflict and so many problems, things settled down. We are looking forward to our first home settling so we can move i...
A. 1 July 2016: Just assert your happiness and "personhood." You can be a man with a fragile heart. It's the same with two females living together and one of them is abusive and disrespectful. One of them has to go. It doesn't have to be about gender roles.
S... (read in full...)
It's my first date in years! Help?
Q. Hey, I'll make this as short as I can. I finally asked out the girl that I'm infatuated with and she said yes. We're supposed to go out for dinner in a few days. Problen is, I haven't been out on a date in so long I don't know what to do. I've been ...
A. 1 July 2016: If you can enjoy yourselves at dinner and you get the feel that she's single and focused on you, then you can walk her home holding hands and kiss her goodbye. The magic of the first date is that dates are unpredictable, you never know what to ... (read in full...)
He's giving me the silent treatment right now, Will he return to me? I know he's abusive but I want him back
Q. I recently learned that the guy im dating is a narcissist. We've been through at least 3 cycles of devalue/discard and a recent cycle of re-idealization. He's giving me the silent treatment right now, will he ever return my calls or come ar...
A. 30 June 2016: You don't want him back, you just want the idealization part of the cycle but not what follows after. True, there are people, if rarely die of broken heart syndrome. Similar to alcoholics dying if they cut off alcohol cold turkey. The difference is ... (read in full...)
Passion has gone from our private life. We don't get out socially together enough. How do I woo her back again?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 8 years now. We met in China and for several years, things were rocky. Then after so much conflict and so many problems, things settled down. We are looking forward to our first home settling so we can move i...
A. 29 June 2016: You finally got yourself a home, congratulations. It would be a shame to end it now, after so many of us had told you to do so before when your living situation was not ideal. Another way to say it is, if you didn't leave when you were rock bottom, ... (read in full...)
Is something going on, or am I reading too much into this?
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we get on really well and his family are like my family the problem is any woman that walks past he stares till she's out of sight now he received a text this morning asking saying is this for instance john ...
A. 26 June 2016: If she works for him then there's nothing suspicious. If there's nothing work related in between still, there's not much they can do in a shop while she's working besides flirting back and forth. What I find weird is that he doesn't have his own ... (read in full...)
Why do men always lose interest in me?
Q. Why do men always lose interest in me after two months? I dated three men for two months each and suddenly, at the two month point they cool way off. Communication drops, they stop making plans, and we just stop talking. I do my part. I don't over ...
A. 26 June 2016: I don't think the number 3 is enough to say that men, in general, all do this to you. The thing is, when you take things slow, there are always other women who do it fast and snatched up your guy. Maybe they work out or maybe they won't. I don't see ... (read in full...)
Do I trust my instincts or wait till he asks me to visit him at his place?
Q. Am in a relationship with someone I met through a dating site two months ago. he is very nice and everything seems to be going on well. however he always comes to see me over the weekend whenever he has time due to the nature of his job.. Have n...
A. 25 June 2016: Could it be because he's still living with his parents and is embarrassed to say so? At 2 months you should have a glimpse of where the relationship is going in the next few years. If he's hiding something, it could be because he has a wife already, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!
Q. I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...
A. 25 June 2016: His fetish is not just getting with a fat woman. It's the process of fattening someone up. The more weight gain, the more better for him. Fetishes are not all equal. Some are fun and harmless, others are dangerous and gross. The most extreme of it ... (read in full...)
He was respectful and did not try anything. Was he expecting me to make the first move?
Q. I am 31 yrs old and i met a 32 yrs old online. So we started to talk back and forth for a couple of month. It was nothing much just friendly talk. When he had to go on a bussiness trip we decided to meet up because it was a neighbour country of ...
A. 20 June 2016: I think the last date you had was his first move. He might follow the 3 day rule to contact you again and he wasn't sure if you liked him enough. It seems like he's handsome enough that you could get over his shyness and quietness. It takes two ... (read in full...)
She's giving me mixed signals. Does she like ? Is she being genuine?
Q. While I was at work, I noticed that a female has taken a shine to me, I don't know if I read into the wrong or she genuinely liked me. I've not asked her out, but I'm thinking of doing and im not sure what to do for the best. While I was making m...
A. 19 June 2016: If it's long then just erase the second paragraph. It only reassures women who are paranoid in nature but for most of us we don't want to be assumed that we are. Yes there are creeps out there but we don't live in fear that we are going to meet one ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going on a "men's day out"? no women allowed.
Q. Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going out for the day with his male friends?. He is going out for the day with his male friends this afternoon. He said no women are allowed. He said they go on a day out together every year. He also to...
A. 19 June 2016: Your former ex's brother sounds better than this moron, but still, there's a code that you don't date ex's family members. If the only thing you like is that he's your age, and he doesn't drink, that still doesn't make it right. The reason that your ... (read in full...)
Help ! What should I do? He treats me like someone he wants to string along
Q. I was with a relationship for 2 years. A few months ago i found out he had been two- timing me with his ex (i was apparently the side chick). I broke up. He pursued her like a crazed stalker for a month but she left him for good. Then he came for...
A. 18 June 2016: There's really no reason to stay with him. He is abusive and you are treated as second fiddle. If there's one that's because you want to prove that you won, and that his ex lost. You don't better yourself by staying with him and sucking up the fact ... (read in full...)
How should I behave when I meet his parents? They live abroad and I don't speak their language.
Q. Hi agony aunts! So my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and we've decided to take the next step. Meeting the parents! Problem is his parents live abroad and I can't speak a word of their language. We're staying at his parents...
A. 18 June 2016: I would learn a few phrases of their language and their customs. Offering to help is always good, no matter what country the parents are from. The best is to act like they are any other parent and pretend whatever cultural gap isn't there. If they ... (read in full...)
How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention?
Q. How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention? The earlier posts are EXACTLY what I keep running into! They get all flirty, talk to me for hours, text me cute things all day and when we finally have sex or try to, they say I'm ONLY in ...
A. 18 June 2016: I don't think you are as clueless as you seem. Your last girlfriend needed help and you took a risk, you took her on as a project and hoped that she would turn out to be the daughter that her family wishes she was. You are still very young and your ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish? Should I persist and continue with this relationship?
Q. Hello, I have a lot going on in my life right now. I just got a new job that I love and my youngest just graduated from high school and is leaving the nest soon. I also started dating a new guy. He is very handsome, sweet and is in good shape. I like...
A. 12 June 2016: No I think he is the selfish one and quite high maintenance in the bedroom. For him, women are in his life to serve his sexual needs and he couldn't care less if you don't get enough foreplay. If you continue with him you will feel more alone ... (read in full...)
Do relationships that start as affairs go the distance, or do they fail?
Q. My dad left my mum (who his disabled with MS) for the 'other woman' - do these relationships that start as an affair (lies, deception) typically last? How can his new parter trust him? She must be insecure that if he can do it with her, he will DO ...
A. 12 June 2016: I understand that you feel your dad betrayed your family when you needed him the most, and that there's never an excuse for affairs. In your dad's mind, the marriage was over but he did not do the legal thing before looking for another ship to jump ... (read in full...)
The quietest guy I have ever met! Is he elitist?
Q. Dear Aunts, I have a question about attractive reserved men. If a man had good looks,height,a good job,an IQ of 130+ and was blessed with good health; deep down,he's gotta know that he's better than most people he encounters,right? My qu...
A. 10 June 2016: If he's a self made man, and believes that success comes from hard work and that lazy people get nowhere, then he can come across as arrogant. You are probably not going to figure him out unless you get to date him. Quiet people only open up to ... (read in full...)
I want my Bf back. How can I attempt to achieve that aim?
Q. I want my ex boyfriend back , when i first met my ex there was something special there and i felt so comfortable with him as tho i had known him years . But after our first meet he kept cancelling we had a break and decided to try again but agai...
A. 9 June 2016: Did you only meet one time? Is that because it's a long distance relationship? I think if he cancels after one date then it can't even be called a relationship. I see that this relationship lasted for several months and that besides that first date ... (read in full...)
Not long before we started to date he had sex with a girl who is one of my friends. Now I know I feel uncomfortable about it. How should I respond?
Q. Would you date a guy who had slept with your friend not long before you decided to date? Note that it was not a one night stand, but happened a few times... I have known this guy for a while and only recently have we hung out a lot and gotten t...
A. 9 June 2016: When it comes to casual sex, there will always be people who are not okay with it. For those who try to accept it, it's always okay for other people, but not for people closest to us. Whenever you see your friend you will always be reminded. I think ... (read in full...)
Dumped and I don't know why
Q. My bf of six months just broke up with me and I am devasted - to begin with I don't know how to deal with the fact that I am turning 30 in three months and still alone- he broke up over a text message because we don't see things eye to eye- meaning ...
A. 6 June 2016: You knew that him being not available and being broke were warning signs, but you ignored them because you thought having a boyfriend was better than nothing. He, on the other had, should never had started a relationship but I guess he wanted to ... (read in full...)
How can I ensure that I don't get myself into such a scary situation again, where the next guy might not be so considerate?
Q. Hi, So last year I was talking to a guy online. We met online and spoke for a while, including messaging and video calling. And yes the messages quickly turned quite sexual as you'd expect. It was all just innocent "fun" but then he suggested we...
A. 6 June 2016: The subject of sex will turn up sooner or later. It's up to you to stop it, to not discuss it. You didn't stop him, so he saw it as an invitation to go further than just talking about it. You can say to a guy, that you don't talk about sex until ... (read in full...)
What would be causes of concern if your new BF said he had never dated before?
Q. So, I just started dating a guy, and I really like him. He is 29, dorky, cute, kind, compassionate, and we share a lot of the same interests. He is definitely a bit awkward. He confessed that he'd never been in a relationship before. When I as...
A. 5 June 2016: Even for virgins, some have a lot of preconceived notions about relationships. They don't like the fact they know nothing about relationships, so they read and read and found something like women are attracted to alphas. They would have lots of sex ... (read in full...)
Why has my husband's sense of self-identity changed?
Q. I've been married to my husband for almost 15 years and we have had good days and rough patches. My husband suffers from anxiety and extreme bouts of moodiness in which is rationale for things seem altered or out of context. My husband is n...
A. 5 June 2016: What is holding him back from plan B is that it is just a fantasy. Reality needs a back up from a solid financial plan. If he is retired, then where is he going to get that money. I am sure you would use your money on your children, and not to fund ... (read in full...)
Enough is enough. Is walking away a solution? my adult son has mental health issues and my ex-husband does help with our son.
Q. Hi, I was married for many years and my ex-husband, although he does not live with me, spends a lot of time at my home to help me with our son, 24, who has always had a number of mental health issues and now drinks heavily. I am so depressed with...
A. 5 June 2016: If my son was like this at 24 (he's 10 now), I would lay down the boundaries and tell him that he has a few options. I don't know how much disability pays but in Canada it would be like 400$ a month. He has to stop using that for alcohol. That 400$ ... (read in full...)
He still lives with his ex. What can I do. ?
Q. Hi guys thanks for reading, I am open to all the advise you can give me. I have been dating this guy for a few weeks, but I barely get to spend time with him because he has a son. I haven't met his son yet I would like to but not till we are in a...
A. 31 May 2016: I don't think anyone who's still living with an ex should be out dating. Casual dining, hanging out maybe. Definitely not leading someone one until there's strong feelings. I know housing can be expensive, and under rare occasions you see can ex ... (read in full...)
Seeking your opinions, please! Is he covering up dating another woman?
Q. I have been seeing this man for quite awhile now. Recently there were some pics of him on Instagram with another girl. I questioned him about if he was seeing anyone and his reply was no. I then sent the pic to him and he still says this is not h...
A. 31 May 2016: It may be quite a while for you, but for him, he is not at a point where he freely shares stuff with you. If you don't know where you stand, you have to ask him, the make your decision based on his response. You can always drop him if you feel he is ... (read in full...)
Will I ever measure up to his ex?
Q. I've been dating a nice guy for 4 months now. I really have a lot of feelings for him and we have a great connection. There is a big issue though. He got out of a serious 7 year relationship about 6 months before we met. I knew about this from ...
A. 30 May 2016: "No one can replace her" does not mean she is the best, and always will be. It means no one resembles her, and everyone is unique in her own way. So it helps him move on that he would not look for a replica of his ex.
Not everyone speaks lowly of t... (read in full...)
Why does my heart warm up when I see my ex? What's up with my current relationship?
Q. I am now into my third year of a wonderful relationship. We got together about 6 months after breaking up with my daughters father, which was a very turbulent time. Some his fault, but I admit, I never made things easy by cheating several times(he...
A. 29 May 2016: Maybe you only want things you can't have, and that explained you cheating. Now that your ex is single and free, suddenly he is more attractive again.... (read in full...)
When my BF was younger, before he knew me, he slept with some women who, then, were in their 40s. Why didn't he tell me earlier? I'm disgusted and very upset
Q. My boyfriend is older than I am. It seems like he loves me very much but yesterday, I found out that he slept with a couple of some who were in their forties when he was about twenty years old ( he slept with them at different times). This really h...
A. 29 May 2016: People do stupid things when they are young. Some mistakes are costly that have life long consequences. Such as alcoholism and drugs. True that neurotypical people have the same probability of getting mental health issues. I would say for people in ... (read in full...)
Feeling obsessed and desperate. Who really is my baby's Daddy?
Q. Hello there, I am really hoping someone can help me here with some advise and no judgment. I am 31 years old and married for 5 years. My husband and I share a daughter that is 3 years old. Last year we are having a lot of trouble in our marriage ...
A. 29 May 2016: The time to think about babies needing a father is before you fell in love with someone else. You were ready to forgo the marriage, regardless of whether that man would fall back in love with you.
The most you would have is a depressed father half... (read in full...)
Do I love this girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Basically I have a lot of friends who are in the mindset that they don't want a relationship. I feel as though I'm in that category as I never feel the desire that I actively want to seek a girlfriend and I also really like my f...
A. 29 May 2016: When girls have casual sex, the typical reaction is that she's damaged, she's looking for approval from guys, her heart is closed. Is it possible that she is a pansexual, and she loves everyone she sees. She is the real definition of polyamory? ... (read in full...)
Feeling obsessed and desperate. Who really is my baby's Daddy?
Q. Hello there, I am really hoping someone can help me here with some advise and no judgment. I am 31 years old and married for 5 years. My husband and I share a daughter that is 3 years old. Last year we are having a lot of trouble in our marriage ...
A. 29 May 2016: You have to tell your husband. You can't predict what you baby is going to look like. He may have distinct features like height, nose, eyebrow shape. He may even have something genetically passed down that affects his personality and health. If he ... (read in full...)
I have anxiety and trust issues. What can I do to trust my BF?
Q. Is it normal to worry that anytime your boyfriend is out of your sight, that he is cheating on you? I worry constantly. And it is affecting my peace of mind as it is eating away at me and causing me great anxiety and stress all of the time. I h...
A. 29 May 2016: You have to realize that it is not something outside that's causing you anxiety. You have anxiety in you and everything you see becomes fearful.
There is no guarantees in life. The only control you have is within yourself. What you should trus... (read in full...)
When my BF was younger, before he knew me, he slept with some women who, then, were in their 40s. Why didn't he tell me earlier? I'm disgusted and very upset
Q. My boyfriend is older than I am. It seems like he loves me very much but yesterday, I found out that he slept with a couple of some who were in their forties when he was about twenty years old ( he slept with them at different times). This really h...
A. 28 May 2016: I don't think this is an issue of ageism but more like it felt like a mother son relationship. It's the pedo factor, the incest factor that made it disgusting for you.
We women in our 40's are still attractive, full of life and passion. I am sure... (read in full...)
Should I stop cooking for my Bf after what he did? Any suggestions on how to get him to appreciate me more?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, living together for 1 year. He can be super sweet, loyal and sensitive and we have a lot in common... but sometimes he can just 'lose it.' Though he would never be violent he has lost his temper over ...
A. 26 May 2016: Abusive people are not abusive all of the time. Even monsters can be sweet and loyal. The thing with game addiction is that the pull can be so strong. The game has team members and it is a true commitment. Any interruptions can throw off the game. ... (read in full...)
What should I do? Things don't feel right in our relationship. I still feel betrayed at times!
Q. My husband and I are having a major problem and I come to you for help. We've been married almost 3 years, no children. He wanted to separate for a bit and so I agreed. I went to go stay at my dads. Out of hurt and anger I told him I would be filin...
A. 26 May 2016: Been there, done that. I would get a divorce. This on and off thing is not good for you. Once someone says he wants to separate, he can't expect things to go back to where they were at the beginning. A separation with no intention to work things out ... (read in full...)
What can or should I do? I can't stop thinking about another man
Q. So I'm in big trouble. I haven't been happy in my marriage for years now. I still love my husband and like him but not like I used to, he is an alright person but does some questionable things. He has been unfaithful with another woman. However he ...
A. 25 May 2016: It's normal to fall out of love after a spouse cheated. He tarnished what you had, and made the union less special. Of course he is against divorce, but you have to think about what you want too.
"If my husband and I weren't married I would love... (read in full...)
Age gap. Is our relationship destined to fail or can we make it work?
Q. Is me and my boyfriend's relationship destined to fail or can we make it work? I'm an 18 year old girl dating a 39 year old man. We have been dating for 3 months now and it has been amazing he is the best relationship I've had so far. He really...
A. 25 May 2016: The first few months can be the most romantic, but at the same time the most challenging also. Once you get past your fears and build trust, it can be a smooth ride.
One thing that catches my attention is that, you will go out with your frie... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 25 May 2016: So you get the two extremes of date behavior. I don't like what he said. I would be inclined to say he got bitter from women who freeloaded from him. It's kind of a baggage to carry when people make it such a big deal of who pays.
I would not want... (read in full...)
Do I love this girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Basically I have a lot of friends who are in the mindset that they don't want a relationship. I feel as though I'm in that category as I never feel the desire that I actively want to seek a girlfriend and I also really like my f...
A. 25 May 2016: I actually first wrote the exact same thing as anon, but I erased everything because I am not certain if you are convincing yourself. I am aware that times have changed, and the mentality is different when you are 40, 30 and 20.
Sounds like you ... (read in full...)
He said I was 'the one' but I found out he has a girlfriend
Q. my ex and I have been having a fling for a couple years, I had hopes and though it would lead us back together. he would say I love you but I don't want to settle just yet but when I do your the one. I always had the impression we were very clo...
A. 24 May 2016: You were "the one" that put up with this on and off thing. Welcomes him back when he misses you, then off again when he got bored or found someone else. Don't listen to his words, but to his actions. If you were really the serious one, you wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 24 May 2016: I wouldn't immediately think he meant it's your turn to pay, but rather, he wants to see your area and you get to pick your favorite place. The main point is that he wants a second date, and he's the one driving over. You can still offer to pay if ... (read in full...)
Do I love this girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Basically I have a lot of friends who are in the mindset that they don't want a relationship. I feel as though I'm in that category as I never feel the desire that I actively want to seek a girlfriend and I also really like my f...
A. 24 May 2016: You can love a person as a human being, or you can love a person to want to possess her and think about long term. It's easy to confuse the two. It's fine that you can't elaborate on your feelings. What's more important is that your interactions ... (read in full...)
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