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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I don’t feel a spark with her but I still had sex with her!
Q. Me and this girl broke up a while ago, after about a month she came over to play some video games and chat. It was getting real late and she was getting tired so I offered her to stay the night. During that we began cuddling and making out and it ...
A. 19 May 2018: There's a debate whether people need the spark to be in a relationship. Some people feel that the spark fades, what you are left with is deep connection and companionship. Some are lucky that they feel the spark is always there. It depends on your ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be in love and committed to a man, whereas developing only sexual interest in others?
Q. I will turn 30 next month and my life's in a big mess. I've a good career, a loving would-be husband (getting married in early fall this year). We've been together for 11 years. You're wondering where's the messy part? Well, the sex between ...
A. 17 May 2018: There is nothing to left out because we are not meant to be turned on to the same person forever. Biology wants variety. The constitution of marriage is to protect property rights and to make sure children have the same set of parents. The hallmark ... (read in full...)
Does he love me? Or not? Is he worth the wait or is he spouting empty words? Must I risk it all and take a chance with him? Help!
Q. I am hoping to get perspective on an issue more to reflect on it and process it before deciding what to do. This is the situation: My first love and i were together for a year and a half before a very silly solit. He thought he wasn't ready as ...
A. 15 May 2018: You take your time and be cautious. You have nothing to lose by waiting. You don't have to risk it all if you take it slow. He rushed into his first marriage so he can be understanding why you both need more time. Some people do romanticize the one ... (read in full...)
I can’t get the thoughts of her having sex with her exes out of my head!
Q. Hello, my girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months now. I am 17 and she is 20, I know most people would say this is a recipe for chaos and it probably is.. In 2 months I will be going to Brazil (I am from Belgium BTW) ...
A. 15 May 2018: Ending the relationship is out of the question. Like, forever? Why lock yourself in this pain and how can you be so sure that this 4 month love is what you want for the rest of your life? I think retroactive jealousy is more of a stubbornness to end ... (read in full...)
Am I being used? I believe deep down that he is a good person but I am worried that I'm just there to teach him how to be in a relationship!
Q. have been seeing someone new for 4 months. When we first met, it was unlike anything I have ever experienced – I felt a real chemisty with this person and we hit it off straight away. Despite the distance (he lives in the south of the UK and me the ...
A. 15 May 2018: I am not sure if he is a good person. If he is, then anyone could have the potential to be a good person. He is with you to make him look better in life on the outside. Inside he is still a mess. When men take steroids, it can cause erectile ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 15 May 2018: He's not done with punishing because he's enjoying her pleading. It feeds his ego. He maybe over the relationship but he's not over the enjoyment of hurting her. I don't think he's that emotionally involved with her to begin with. He doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Is this the end to our marriage? He loves porn more than he loves me
Q. We have been married for two and a half years and the sex life has become boring af. I feel like it’s all about his pleasure. When he wakes up at night his reaction is : babe want to suck my dick? Like I’m some kind of sex slave that enjoys only ...
A. 15 May 2018: You both went into marriage when he didn't know how to behave in order to sustain a long term relationship. Maybe he thought all he needed was to ensure he stays hard, no matter what it takes. Porn is the quickest way for a man to get hard but the ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 15 May 2018: He is stringing along his ex. Seems like he never broke up with her. He only "broke up" with her to make her jealous. Then they were flirting back and forth to make you jealous. The plot to see you lose fuels her passion to be back with him. It's ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be in love and committed to a man, whereas developing only sexual interest in others?
Q. I will turn 30 next month and my life's in a big mess. I've a good career, a loving would-be husband (getting married in early fall this year). We've been together for 11 years. You're wondering where's the messy part? Well, the sex between ...
A. 14 May 2018: For me, I can't. I can only be in love with someone I am physically attracted to and emotionally connected to. When there's no sexual attraction, I just won't be with that person. There are people who do have complexes such that there are people for ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my upbringing ?
Q. Hello aunts How can I forget my childhood? I come from a communist country (Europe) was basically raised here my whole life so I am Americanized but my parents had an arranged marriage - I still live with my folks as I am saving to buy a ho...
A. 14 May 2018: When you get a house you want, you just tell them you saved enough and show them the address you are moving to. They can't legally restrain you from leaving.
Many of us have to come to terms that we don't have warm loving parents as we grow up. ... (read in full...)
He’s taken to sleeping on the sofa! How do I approach this?
Q. Hi I’ve been with my partner for 5 years our relationship has always been good we rarely argue but just lately he has taken to sleeping on the sofa it started out cos our daughter was poorly with a virus so I put her in bed with me so I could look ...
A. 8 May 2018: I've always been sleeping in my own bed. I only slept with my ex husband in the same bed. For other relationships I slept in my own bed. That's not because of lack of love, or even snoring issues. It's to improve my sleep quality. I have my cat and ... (read in full...)
I push people away because I'm scared that they will leave me!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating this really sweet guy for a little over two weeks and things are going well. I am happy but I’m scared that this happiness will only be temporary. I do not fall for people easily and I have a tendency to push...
A. 8 May 2018: You are magnifying the effects of someone leaving you. The most that will happen is that you will be single again and you can start afresh. If your mind tells you to believe that you will go into depression, that you are not worthy of love, that you ... (read in full...)
Is having a child something that you can end up thinking wow this is the best thing I have ever done or do you stick with your gut feeling?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are just in the process of buying a house. She is wanting to have children in the next 2 years. The problem is I have never really been interested in having a child. I have a good job which I ...
A. 7 May 2018: I had a son at 24 and got married. Looking back I was too young and not good with decisions. I was never against having children or not having children. I did have my mother instincts but not to the point that I love baking cookies and planning ... (read in full...)
Why did our date not work out?
Q. A few weeks ago I went on a date with this guy. He wanted to take me out for about 3-4 years and I was always so uninterested. He grew up to be a nice gentleman. During our date he was super funny, and sweet. We had a lot in common and we talked ...
A. 5 May 2018: There can be many reasons why dates don't work out. He could be rebounding. He could be moving away. He could be waiting for his next paycheck. He's super busy that he finally found an open slot so he asked someone he knew from before, someone he's ... (read in full...)
I love her and really don't feel like breaking up. How can I handle this situation?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a girl for more than a year now. At first it was all going really well but then in last few months we have not stopped fighting. This is frustrating and it's taking A toll on this relationship. She has this habit of over ...
A. 5 May 2018: Encourage her to express her feelings rather than overthinking. I am guess she has fears of you leaving her or cheating on her. She has to own up to her feelings and take responsibility for them.
All relationships start well. Then comes a time when... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date someone just for fun?
Q. So here’s my story. I’ve always kind of been a sap for relationships and I tend to over think things. I’m an ENFP and I’m kind of at a cross road in my life. I’ve never really liked to just jump into relationships with people or dating. I don’t feel ...
A. 3 May 2018: It's not wrong in the sense that it's immoral. There are people who can do that and good for them. I've never been dating just for the sake of it because I am not outgoing, I am allergic to alcohol, and the dates always turned into relationships. If ... (read in full...)
Either there's something lacking in my looks or I'm choosing the wrong men or both!
Q. I need help in what to look for when choosing men who are not superficial . I feel like men care only about having women who look like what they see online and in magazines . My husband was like this and constantly made comparisons and other men ...
A. 3 May 2018: Wrong men. Men who put women down need to feel superior to them to keep them in check. Some are narcissistic. They make women feel insecure so they feel like the powerful one in the relationship. There are men who are respectful and attentive to ... (read in full...)
My marriage in in crisis because I've decided my wife is too skinny and her boobs aren't big enough.
Q. Hi everyone, Thank you so much for reading this. I am genuinely looking for advice regarding my marriage which is in a state of crisis right now. I will keep it as short as possible. TL;DR: I met my wife in an online relationship. We got marr...
A. 2 May 2018: Estrogen supplements can be dangerous. Please don't ask her to do anything drastic. She has a high metabolism. As long as she is healthy you should not change her. Your post made you sound very entitled. You are free to have your fantasy but reality ... (read in full...)
Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 1 May 2018: I would just say leave him alone and don't expect to get back. People who are rejected suddenly feel they lose something good and valuable even when that's not the case. When you were overthinking and tweeted you were single, I guess that's the time ... (read in full...)
Dating an older guy. One year on he still hasn't said he loves me
Q. I have been seeing a man 24 years older than me for about a year. He's never told me he loves me. He says I mean the world to him and that he loves being around me. He looks at me "moony eyed", sometimes he just holds me and looks at me. He is ...
A. 1 May 2018: The true definition of I love you is that both of you are suitable for long term and that you accept each other's imperfection. Otherwise you just love how you feel as long as the endorphins/oxytocins still pumping. He could have reservations ... (read in full...)
Am I on my way to being hurt?
Q. I just turned 40 and I’m divorced. I met a man one day outside and thought him and his friends were trying to rob me (lol) Im a professional, educated woman and I have two sons 20 and 17 one in college and the other on his way in the fall. ...
A. 1 May 2018: The reason why the connection is so "strong" is because he's a con artist and he just knows what to say and behave to make you fall for him. He's a guy I want to stay away from. You have two sons, so you have developed a motherly nature not only to ... (read in full...)
I'm a hopeless romantic who all the girls want as a friend, not as a date.
Q. Just a little background: I'm a male virgin who's never been kissed and I've only been on one date. I'm usually the friend, not the boyfriend type. I still am friends with girls I've met and befriended. However it is a little frustrating bein...
A. 26 April 2018: Women are not attracted to hopeless romantic guys. Although they want to be romanced, something deep in them believes that relationships are not a guy's domain. A guy should be focused on his career and his passions. A woman wants a man to treat her ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend upsets me then gets mad at me and ignores me instead of making it better.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR for a year and 2 months. It started out slow but now we have spoken about marriage, a child and me moving to his town. Trouble is - in 2 is our most recent fights - he did something to upset me, I got upset, and then...
A. 26 April 2018: I would take that as a sign that he didn't really want you to move to him. All he could handle is LDR. He didn't know how to break it off without looking like he's playing with your feelings so he got mad at nothing and gave you the silent ... (read in full...)
I cant get the "cloud 9" feeling!
Q. hello dear aunts! Don't want to go too long or detailed about this. I'm going to cut it short. I 'm seeing someone who is great. He is known to be an honest and decent guy. I've known him as a friend for a long time but we started seeing e...
A. 26 April 2018: I know how cliché it would sound but my advice is to focus on the now. Your reference point was the past and you carry your fear into the future. Being careful and guarded will not stop someone from cheating. The only thing you can do now is to ... (read in full...)
Why the mixed signals?
Q. Me and this guy have been casually seeing each other for a year; he would come over from nights out etc and we would just cuddle and kiss and act romantic even though we were not together. We got close in the sense that he started to trust me and we ...
A. 25 April 2018: He doesn't know what he wants. One minute he wants to be close to you. The next, he's fighting that dependency on you. He got into fights with you to sabotage everything. He has inner issues to deal with. You gave him one year and still he hasn't ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my professor and it's making me depressed
Q. I have a massive crush on my professor. I assure you it's completely platonic but it's still causing me much trouble. I think there are 2 main aspects to my feelings for him: 1. Admiration: He's the exact kind of person I want to be when I grow o...
A. 21 April 2018: Your crush on your professor did not cause your depression. You were depressed to start with. Trust me, I thrive on crushing on people. I've crushed on different people for years. Sometimes they are mutual crushes but we decide to say or do nothing ... (read in full...)
Is he oblivious or selfish?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles It’s never a good sign when I appeal to the internet but here goes. I fell crazy in love with someone but he had a lot of financial issues. I still dated him and loaned him money which he did repay me for. Now that he’...
A. 21 April 2018: It's obvious you love him more than he loves you. Money can't buy love. If someone risked and loaned me money without knowing me much, I would be so grateful that I would want to marry that person. Men don't work that way. They want to be the hero, ... (read in full...)
He said he loved me but then he dumped me out of the blue! Do I just walk away and forget it all?
Q. Hi Everyone I have a really big dilemma and don’t know what to do. Long story short. I was seeing this guy for a little over 2 months. Things were going amazing, we got along well, we wanted the same things out of life, we had many of the same ...
A. 20 April 2018: Missing his family doesn't mean he can't go into a new relationship. He didn't say he missed his ex wife. It's normal for people to dream of exes even if it means nothing.
I had a guy who "loved" me too. I also met his family after 2 months. I was ... (read in full...)
He said he loved me but then he dumped me out of the blue! Do I just walk away and forget it all?
Q. Hi Everyone I have a really big dilemma and don’t know what to do. Long story short. I was seeing this guy for a little over 2 months. Things were going amazing, we got along well, we wanted the same things out of life, we had many of the same ...
A. 19 April 2018: There are men and women who knowingly know they don't want long term relationships but still date and say "I love you" to people. When you were on vacation, who had the kids? His wife. That was a precious time for him to getaway, forget about his ... (read in full...)
Am I being self sabotaging or are my feelings enough?
Q. I feel like i'm going through a bit of an internal crisis and i can't understand why i can't just be happy. I'm 23 and only been with my boyfriend 7 months, however I knew him for a yr before that. It took me a while to take the plunge and allow ...
A. 17 April 2018: I don't know what contributed to your anxiety so I am guessing it was your upbringing or a stressful relationship in the past. Something in your life trained you to think that drama and excitement is love. Peacefulness is boredom. It is as if you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't tell anyone about me but wants me to move in with him ... what should I do ?
Q. I've been dating a guy for 5 months and were exsclusive.. I'm finding myself in love with him he treats me well except for one issue he doesn't tell anyone about me, not friends which he only has a few not co workers not his family... He tells me ...
A. 17 April 2018: This guy is ridiculous. He probably has a wife somewhere. 5 months is a short time to say I love you but once he said he doesn't love you, that's the time you should have ditched him. He wants you to move in with him because when he's relieved from ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriends past?
Q. I would like to start out by saying that I consider myself very open minded. I am divorced from a 6 year marriage and am on good terms with. I have even made good friends with my ex-wife’s boyfriend and we hang out occasionally. My current ...
A. 17 April 2018: You don't. If there's only one quality that doesn't match your criteria then it's still a deal breaker. Don't be afraid to say you can't be with her even when you are still in your honeymoon phase. Or you will have to wait till you get settled after ... (read in full...)
Is there no one for me? How can I get a guy to be interested in me?
Q. I think I’m meant to be alone forever. I’m a junior in high school, and No matter what, I cannot find a guy who remotely shows interest in me. I am good-looking (not trying to be stuck-up) but I never talk in school. I go to school everyday without ...
A. 4 April 2018: It's not that they want a girl who's hyper and talkative. Girls who are talkative and sociable are easily approachable. Guys find that they do not have to try so hard just to break the ice. Quiet girls can give the impression that they are uptight ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my live-in girlfriend?
Q. I am in a long term relationship and my gf isnt interested in sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than her but she only wants sex when it is her cycle for a kid. I want a kid but college is starting to get stressful and I dont think I want to ...
A. 4 April 2018: Yes you should. Women who want babies but not want sex should not be relationships or either find a guys with no sex drive or a sperm donor. Women who don't understand why intimacy is important outside of procreation should not be in relationships ... (read in full...)
My ex is coming back into my life when I have a new partner!
Q. I need some advice, 4 years ago I started dating my best friend, we were together for about 8 months and it was perfect! However I made mistakes in the relationship such as being too close to her and so i drove her away and didnt handle the brea...
A. 1 April 2018: I don't think there is such a thing as being too close that causes a break up. I can understand being obsessive, controlling and smothering though. Anyone who said they need space as a precursor to break up is usually not that into you. When your ex ... (read in full...)
I wasnt able to get off during sex, want to break up but feel I cant.
Q. Okay so to start from the beginning, I met this girl on tinder about a month ago. Lets call her Amy, Amy and I finally met in a coffee shop after two weeks of on and off chatting. She is really cool, we are basically the same person but different ...
A. 30 March 2018: When women can't get off, we say the penis is not a magic wand, use our mouth, finger etc. When men can't get off, it's even more a mystery. Can't use the logic that you are not emotionally invested with her as you probably had gotten off with other ... (read in full...)
What’s wrong with people? Or am I the freak?
Q. What makes a good friend? I’m a quieter person, a little socially awkward but better than when I was in my 20s, when I was hopeless due to teen bullying and never having real friends, only users and fake friends. i am not intellectually i...
A. 29 March 2018: The problem with the world is that we are competing with each other for resources. That sense of competition starts with school age. The ones who are perceived as "weak" are bullied. Only the top ones with social value get noticed. People who would ... (read in full...)
Why did he refuse to cuddle me after being intimate?
Q. I knew this guy from uni a few years back, I think we always had a thing for each other or were always at least attracted to each other. Whenever he used to see me, he would get nervous. We ended up seeing each last night and I went back to his...
A. 25 March 2018: You are out of his league. If he has to ask you for money and uber eats it means he can't afford to date you. That's why even if he sees you as high value he can't go into a relationship knowing he doesn't have much to offer you. When people don't ... (read in full...)
Aren't children supposed to stay near to their family so they can comfort them? Not move far away?
Q. Ever since I can remember, my daughter, 30, has complained bitterly about the state we raised her in: North Carolina. When the kids were young, we moved our family from North Carolina from Florida for a better life in North Carolina, but she's so ...
A. 24 March 2018: I am attached to my place of birth and I was transplanted against my will. Now I am back to my place of birth and I am happy. I am not ungrateful to my parents, in fact quite the contrary. I will make my once a year meeting with them special, ... (read in full...)
Do the Aunts think this seems okay at face value?
Q. Okay, so this has been a big/hectic day. I've been in this relationship 5+ years. It's always been a life partner type scenario. Well today, we got into a fight, words were said, and she threw the "I want to break-up" card. We've had a really rou...
A. 18 March 2018: I am confused because she was okay with it then she got so angry that she talked about break up. I more inclined to say she's not okay but kept a straight face to cover her sadness. It is very normal about being angry over the open relationship ... (read in full...)
Do the Aunts think this seems okay at face value?
Q. Okay, so this has been a big/hectic day. I've been in this relationship 5+ years. It's always been a life partner type scenario. Well today, we got into a fight, words were said, and she threw the "I want to break-up" card. We've had a really rou...
A. 17 March 2018: I don't know who suggested open relationship but I guess it hasn't happened yet with other people. Part of the stress is the preconceived notion that the lack of sex causes tension and arguments, so the quick solution is sex with other people since ... (read in full...)
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