Is it possible to be a semi-reclusive artist and still contribute something of value to the local town? Please share similar experiences!
Q. Has anyone here got any experience of settling in a new country where you don't speak the language and are not sure how to fit in? I am thinking of buying a 2nd home - which I will spend about 6 months of the year in. I know that sounds extravaga...
A. 22 December 2018: I'd say MAKE an effort to learn the language. You wouldn't be the first artist to settle in a smaller town, though a town of 2,500 is tiny.
Will EVERYONE accept you? Probably not. Nor do they need to. you might put their town on the map (in a sm... (read in full...)
Why did my husband lie to me that he picked up a female coworker?
Q. I have been married 25 years, recently his work hired a female, he had mentioned to me he was asked by his boss to pick her up for work. One morning he dropped me off and my friend called me saying she just seen my husband and a female in his truck, ...
A. 21 December 2018: You know him better than ANY stranger on the Internet. So you might know WHY he lied, why he got pissed off etc.
If you don't... how well DO you know him after 25+ years?
And why simply not ASK him, why he felt the need to lie about it?
It ... (read in full...)
My friend has been asking why she can't get a partner. Should I tell her what I think?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles! My friend recently started asking me seriously (up until now it was purely rhetorical) why she can't find a partner. Should I tell her what I think? It's just an opinion, I'm not a shrink. I'm afraid that she migh...
A. 21 December 2018: Do you think she would WANT to hear your honest opinion? Do you think she would take it to heart?
My guess is actually NO to both (but.. YOU know her, I don't - the reason I say I don't think she really WANTS to hear the truth is because she KNOW... (read in full...)
I’m having trouble forgiving and forgetting! How do I get past this?
Q. I posted about a month or so back about a situation with my boyfriend. In the mist of an argument i took him to his old roommates place to check his mail and after about ten minutes inside i finally walked up to find out what was taking him so long ...
A. 21 December 2018: Forgiveness takes time. REAL forgiveness.
You won't ever forget. We just aren't wired that way.
If you KEEP starting arguments or conversations about the issue (whenever his mother brings it up or it pops into your head) you NEED to nip this... (read in full...)
My ex took out credit cards in my name without my knowledge is there anything I can do?
Q. Hi. I broke up with my ex about 2 years ago and it was not an amicable break up. It was tough. And very difficult. During the break up he told me he had taken out 3 credit cards in my name totalling about £4/5k of debt. He also told me that he had ...
A. 21 December 2018: You do know in order to take out a credit card you need to fill out a form ON paper? Right? Which means HE would have HAD to fake your signature or use his own. THAT is how you SHOULD have gotten him by going DIRECTLY to a solicitor about the cards. ... (read in full...)
Why did he still help his supposedly awful ex despite whatever she did to him? Is he lying to me about his feelings for her?
Q. Hi, i hope i can get some advice here to move on in my life. I have been with my boyfriend coming up two years, we get on well and i feel we are compatible. but there is a problem. My boyfriend went to America when he was 19 years old, stayed with...
A. 20 December 2018: Thank you, OP
Glad to read that you didn't take offense to what I wrote.
If he REALLY had deep feelings for her, he would have stuck it out with her, or continued to be at her beck and call... He hasn't. Which would suggest HE has moved on.
... (read in full...)
Is the whole world incapable of keeping a date? Am I doing something wrong? Am I just unlucky?
Q. I’ve been trying online dating for the past month or so. I’ve been using Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid because apparently they are the 3 most popular dating apps. I figure the more people I talk to, the better my odds of success are. I’ve talked with ...
A. 19 December 2018: I think regardless of how "popular" a dating site is, the 3 you are using isn't working for you.
Or maybe it's a combo of your approach and pick of dating/pick of partner.
Your approach:
1. you think quantity over quality will land you a ... (read in full...)
Should your spouse be prioritized over your adult children?
Q. My question, Should your spouse come 2nd (God is always 1st) or your adult children? My wife's daughter (my stepdaughter) is a full on alcoholic/drug addict. For over 3yrs now I have delt with the constant absence of my wife because her daughter ...
A. 19 December 2018: For me this would be an easy choice.
My GROWN child would come AFTER my spouse. And if that "child" were and addict on top of things, she would come AFTER the husband, the grand-kids and just about anyone else.
I think you need to put your foot... (read in full...)
I have a crush, should I add him on Facebook?
Q. Hello, I'm starting to have a crush on a guy I met a few months ago. I felt a strong connection when I met him and during a few other times I saw him. Although, I barely spoke to him much. I just like being around him. I recently felt a strong gu...
A. 19 December 2018:
Nope, leave it alone.
YOU both have partners and you are NOT looking to make a new friend. You are CRUSHING on him. so you HAVE an ulterior motive in wanting to add him...
HOW would you feel if your BF did this? If he started adding women ... (read in full...)
How do I accept that he’s moved on with his new girlfriend?
Q. I am struggling to get past the fact that my ex-husband (of 20 yrs) has met a woman from another country on a dating website whom he has visited 3 times and holidayed in Europe with. We have a child who he is supposed to have for part of Christma...
A. 19 December 2018: I'm sorry, OP I can't imagine it feels nice at all to be "replaced" by someone you have spend 2 decades with.
The thing is, you can't change HOW he feels, thinks or whatever he chooses to DO.
So in your shoes I would do whatever I could... (read in full...)
I do not want my kids to inherit my partner's health problems!
Q. I am in a moral dilemma. My partner has some health conditions such as endometriosis, which means she has a harder time falling pregnant with a chance of not falling pregnant at all. She has other minor health conditions which after thinking about ...
A. 18 December 2018: Well, ONLY a female child would possibly get endometriosis. No one in my family has it but two of my kids do, possibly from my HUSBAND'S side.
Genetics is a draw of the luck. You just don't know what you got, what you pass on and what you don'... (read in full...)
I want to show him I care but I also don’t want to be a burden or an annoyance
Q. I was dating a guy for only 6 weeks. Things were going really well other than he wasn’t feeling good. Long story short, his symptoms have gotten worse and he’s not been working much and under going testing and imaging to see what’s wrong. So far, ...
A. 18 December 2018: How long has it been since he told you that he needed some time/space to figure out what's up?
Because I think I remember you other post about this guy. And if you are the same poster, it's been at least 2 months since you two had your last dat... (read in full...)
Why did he still help his supposedly awful ex despite whatever she did to him? Is he lying to me about his feelings for her?
Q. Hi, i hope i can get some advice here to move on in my life. I have been with my boyfriend coming up two years, we get on well and i feel we are compatible. but there is a problem. My boyfriend went to America when he was 19 years old, stayed with...
A. 17 December 2018: You are DIGGING in his past, why? And digging around HER Facebook page, in her OLD stuff from PRE 2013! seriously, OP - that's obsessive and intrusive. And not helping you ONE bit.
Whatever dysfunctional marriage and then relationship they HAD... (read in full...)
He puts sex before my needs. Is it time to walk away?
Q. My partner and I have been in a relationship for just over 3 years and have a two year old child. I’ve been struggling to hang onto our relationship for a while but when I try to tell him what I need in the relationship he makes it out as if he’s ...
A. 17 December 2018: No, I don't think you are being unreasonable.
My advice? WEAN your daughter. She is 2. There is VERY little (if any) needed nutritional value in your breast-milk now. All nursing is doing is draining you. Quite literally. UNLESS you feel it's imp... (read in full...)
Has anybody else ever missed out on time and then got past it and been able to get on afterwards without too much regret?.
Q. Confidence has never been my forte in life and it is holds me back in so many things. In my early 20's I had even lower levels of confidence and has stuck with me since. I am now 30 and have missed out so many opertunitys in life.. ASKIN women out, ...
A. 17 December 2018: You can either LIVE with that regret Or ACCEPT that THAT WAS the old you, and then start to live in the here and now and look to the future.
Sure, there are things I wish I had done differently or thing I had went for with more confidence and gust... (read in full...)
I met a cute guy at a job interview, when can I make a move on him?
Q. I had a interview and I was given a tour of the place and met this VERY VERY VERY CUTE GUY who told me about the area he works in etc.. which is the area i would be in if i get the job... well he came out the back area, with such confidence as he ...
A. 17 December 2018: I had to re-check your age... I thought you were a teenager with that attitude!
Seriously! You do not TROLL your workplace or potential work place for CUTE guys and potential dates!
The ONLY time (in this scenario) I think you COULD contact hi... (read in full...)
I'm waiting for someone who clearly doesn't want me
Q. I met this guy a year ago and we’ve sort of been in and out of each other’s lives since. He’s struggled with his feelings and knowing what he wants, I finally thought we were in the same place but he completely backed off, saying that his heart an...
A. 17 December 2018: I'm with N91.. WHY waste any more time on this guy? In case he "changes" his mind? (or gut, rather)
OP, the REASON he texted you drunk was because he KNOW you would answer. He just wanted attention, ANY attention... Not because he CARES about yo... (read in full...)
Why do men string me along?
Q. Hello. I am a 43 year old woman who asked for advice with her I’ll health and dead end personal life last hear and I got good advice. This year, I worked in a better job and started dating people in may. I do meet men but they are usually youn...
A. 16 December 2018: OP, It's not easy for anyone to date, regardless of age or whether you have kids. the older we get, the more set in our ways and likes/dislikes we develop as well.
In a sense it might ACTUALLY be easier without the kids (as long as you don't da... (read in full...)
Is this co-worker friendly or testing out to be more flirty?
Q. At work there is a guy about my age who recently when around me or talking to me seems to want to touch my arm (shoulder area). He is a lovely guy to chat too but it dawned on me that no-one else seems to do it/not seen him do it to others). The ...
A. 16 December 2018: I think you should focus on your job and not look at your work place as a dating site.
FIND romance and love OUTSIDE of the work place (WHERE it belongs). Flirting don't belong in the work place either. Be professional, OP.
The guy isn't a shy ... (read in full...)
I've met a lovely man but my ex wants to pick up where we left off.
Q. right now im feeling meh . everything but my love life is going great. I got into online dating and have met a fantastic man we get on so well apart from odd times he acts like a 5 year old espesh around his 8 yr old nephew. He really acts like a ...
A. 16 December 2018: Amen to Code Warrior,
I'd go with NEITHER as well.
One is an ex, it didn't work in the past, it probably won't in the future either. It will just be YOU wasting MORE of your time on the SAME guy, the SAME issue and problems.
Guy #2 seems sw... (read in full...)
I sent the online guy my nude photos and initiated phone sex. Will he lose respect for me?
Q. I have been talking to a guy I met on the internet for about 3 months. We have always had great conversation, we like each other alot. We skype, phone call, text, IM, etc every day. Last week, I made the decision to finally start talking about sex. ...
A. 16 December 2018: OK, OP I'm going to be blunt and honest with you. And you might not like what I have to say, and that is OK. As long as you hear it.
1. 3 months is NOTHING. They aren't "solid" months because you haven't meet and interacted in person, ALL you know... (read in full...)
When he is sober he's nice, when he is drunk its a big downfall.
Q. Hi, I'm kinda dating one man few months, but I'm quite worried about him, because many times we go out, he drinks. While I'm having one beer or glass of wine, he has few and often some hard liquors too..he gets pretty drunk often to the level th...
A. 16 December 2018: Oh he remembers..... Unless he is absolutely black out drunk. It might be fuzzy but he remembers.. He just knows he can pull the I don't remember.
He IS NOT going to change, OP Not for you. He has already told you in his own words.
"When i... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refuses to use his sex toys with me
Q. Hi I'm having a sexual problem with my boyfriend any advice you could give would be helpful thanks.. My boyfriend never tells me what he likes in bed he always says he likes what we are doing.. The thing is I know he likes porn actually I think it...
A. 15 December 2018:
You are trying to FORCE him to share something he doesn't WANT to share with you. THAT is quite obvious. HIS toys are something HE doesn't WANT to share with you. Why? It's hard to guess.
Could it be that he feels "his" toys are for when he CAN ... (read in full...)
Why do men string me along?
Q. Hello. I am a 43 year old woman who asked for advice with her I’ll health and dead end personal life last hear and I got good advice. This year, I worked in a better job and started dating people in may. I do meet men but they are usually youn...
A. 15 December 2018: I agree with both malvern and Code Warrior,
You need to SLOW things down. What you also need is a BETTER class of men. You mention that you have dating many that are younger than you, so maybe try someone a few year older or the same age as you. ... (read in full...)
What is my sis in law suggesting here? That I'm a loser??
Q. Was this fb post directed at me? and my “ettiquette” in talking with my sis in law and 11 yr old neice when I see them over new year? They live 2 hours from me in a small town. Im driving to see them in early Jan, sometime when its ok for ...
A. 13 December 2018: Ignore it.
Whether it was directed at you or not, doesn't mean you need to take it to heart or ... take offense. After all, the only one who looks like an idiot IS her if she posts "how to talk to a young girl" instructions. I mean seriousl... (read in full...)
How can I approach faith and dating ?
Q. I realize my question is towards faith and love but I wanted to come here since I got fantastic advice during my abusive relationships. I have been in what I would say emotionally neglectful combative home - my youth was always comparative to what ...
A. 13 December 2018: We all seek out things that help us cope with life, helps us through life. For some (like you) it turns out to be faith and religion.
Nothing wrong with that. Especially if you have found some semblance of peace in your life.
Perhaps your ... (read in full...)
I'm being used by a totally useless boyfriend and I feel trapped
Q. When me and my guy first got together about 8 months ago, he had his own vehicle, his own place to live with a roommate, a good paying job, and was easy to get along with. After about 5 months i agreed to let him move in with me but things went ...
A. 13 December 2018: I'm with YCABS,
You really have to ask?
Your BF is a mooch, his mom an enabler and you.. a doormat (sorry).
The BEST thing you can do for yourself is to LEAVE him alone. Break up and move on. Tell him to MOVE back in with his mother ASAP.
... (read in full...)
I'm not happy with my girlfriend and my crush is now single.
Q. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for past year and half. Because of her excessive mood swings, things have become difficult for me. I tried talking to her about this but she says this is how she is. We love each other and try to ...
A. 13 December 2018: You definitely shouldn't approach your crush until you have decide whether you want to continue dating your GF or not.
Do you really see a future with your GF? THAT is the question. Leave the "crush" out of it for now.
YOUR GF will likely NOT ... (read in full...)
I wonder if forgiveness is the key to moving forward
Q. I, like many grew up with a toxic family. My parents where not there and pretty much abandoned me. I have struggled alot of my life due to this but also the last few years I have done alot of work and had therapy on this. This has made things easier ...
A. 13 December 2018: Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. Forgiveness is (in this case) more for YOUR peace of mind that hers.
So yes, if you can, forgive her. Doesn't mean you HAVE to tell her that you have forgiven her, or even have anything to do with her, but thin... (read in full...)
This guy has a girlfriend, should I forget about him?
Q. Hello, I know a guy for almost three months now, who I thought I was getting along with well and gave him my number because we work together. He's the only person I talk to, really. I told him I was finishing school, he mentioned he's finishing s...
A. 13 December 2018: Yep, step away from this guy.
He is only using you for entertainment. Someone to flirt around with, talk to and joke with. He hasn't asked you out because HE HAS A GF.
He hasn't told you that he has a GF, because he knows you would probably b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is obsessed with sex!
Q. My boyfriend is obsessed with sex! He constantly tells about sex, tries it on.even when I have been ill. I had a colopscopy procedure a few months ago and it was meant to be 6 weeks recovery time..after a few days he told me I should be having s...
A. 13 December 2018: He sounds pretty immature honestly?
You have to decide if this behavior is OK or not. Personally, I would want to date someone who thinks I am a leg to hump whenever HE wants to.
The fact that he seems to think can can't go without sex whil... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that I am dating his ex wife?
Q. I'm dating a freiends ex wife. He's a good friend but don't see him much, 1 time in the last two years. He remarried and his ex wife was also remarried and divorced for 5 year. Is it important that I still tell him?...
A. 12 December 2018: Um, yes?
How do you think he won't hear about this from other and wonder why you haven't told him?
While I don't really think you need his blessing or permission, I think telling him is just what a friend would do.
Now YOU can CHOOSE to... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my friend isn't supportive
Q. I am pregnant and so excited about it but my best friend isn't really happy for me and keeps saying all the wrong things time after time. I've told her I don't need her input but she just won't shut up. The worst thing is she thinks she is my...
A. 12 December 2018: Maybe just tell her you need some space from her negativity?
The last thing you need right now is stress.
While I can see why she might be a little disappointed in you getting pregnant so young, unwed and probably not in any kind of career-p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is obsessed with sex!
Q. My boyfriend is obsessed with sex! He constantly tells about sex, tries it on.even when I have been ill. I had a colopscopy procedure a few months ago and it was meant to be 6 weeks recovery time..after a few days he told me I should be having s...
A. 12 December 2018: First of all, OP
YOU need to learn to say no. He is manipulating you with name calling, lies (probably) and pouting to make you give in. And you cave.
While it's GREAT that he find you attractive and wants to be intimate (a lot) - either yo... (read in full...)
Should I include her son for the first date or should it just be between the two of us?
Q. So a while back I met a woman through my sister-in-law. We've been talking on the phone a lot, and met up for lunch a couple times since we work near each other. It's obvious there's a chemistry between us. I'd like to ask her out. She has a ...
A. 12 December 2018: No, don't involve the kid yet.
You have NO idea if you two are as well suited as you hope/want. And really the LAST thing the kid needs to to see guys come through a "revolving door" of suitors.
You getting to know him should WAIT until you t... (read in full...)
I'm keeping it light and my options open, does this make me a bad person?
Q. Hi, so I’m a single mum, I’ve been on my own for about 7 years now, I haven’t dated in a few years as I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. But recently on a Facebook group I’ve met two men, I like them both, and they are both aware of each other, ...
A. 12 December 2018: How will you get to know these guy if they both live far away? Over text? Facetime?
So getting into a LDR?
And yes, at some point if you WANT a relationship to function, to have a real future you kind of have to spend time WITH the other p... (read in full...)
How do you cope with losing a parent or a loved one?
Q. So, about a year ago I lost my father to stage 4 cancer. I cry and have break downs, when I see his photo, or if I see a video of him, or if hear a voicemail he left. So, now I avoid looking at his photos and things that remind me of him. It’s just ...
A. 11 December 2018: I would suggest grief counseling, if you can't afford it, I would look into online self-help groups perhaps.
Maybe even considering talking to your siblings about your dad and how you feel. They probably feel the same. They might just deal wit... (read in full...)
Am I being unrealistic. Is it too late to change my thinking?
Q. I really hope that men in particular won’t take this question. Personally because obviously it’s not aimed at anyone and I realise that there must be good men in the world but I want to ask if any women have experienced similar to me and how they ...
A. 11 December 2018: Are you being unrealistic?
In thinking that you can change your belief on how "MEN" are or meet a GOOD man at all?
I'm a strong believer that
1. abusive women AND men have an overdeveloped sense of detecting people who have been victimized... (read in full...)
Why am I so scared to be in a relationship?
Q. Why am i so scared to be in a relationship? Im 26 with 2 kids, my baby father is the only guy ive been with sexually and all he was my first everything lol..im probably ashamed because im 26 with little to no experience, and am i weird because i ...
A. 11 December 2018: I think for you to be single for now is actually a good idea. Focus on YOUR kids and yourself. Make a happy little family. Keep moving forward.
And really, if someone is SUPER flirty with other women, then yes, take that as a cue that HE isn't a ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my pregnant friend without upsetting her?
Q. My friend recently got pregnant. Now everything i do results in fight. I try to look after her but she tells me i am being irritative. I try to make her mood happy by sending nice texts so she says she is bored of them. Yesterday she said somethings ...
A. 11 December 2018: Just leave her be.
She isn't being a very good friend. You weren't giving her "emotional trauma" by trying to cheer her up or when you called her on her uncouth manners.
Step back. And IF she figures out that she misses you, LET her do the w... (read in full...)
Date wanted me to add him as a friend when I did he said I didnt need to
Q. I went on a date this weekend and had a great time. The man i was with said he wants to see me again. We had been chatting on social media and i decided to add him as a friend. When i checked if he had added me he had changed his settings so i ...
A. 11 December 2018: Maybe he was being polite, but then realized he might be going a bit too "fast" for his own liking.
Adding people that you are getting to know is not a bad idea, HOWEVER, I would wait until there is a few more dates under the belt, that you two ... (read in full...)
I'm keeping it light and my options open, does this make me a bad person?
Q. Hi, so I’m a single mum, I’ve been on my own for about 7 years now, I haven’t dated in a few years as I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. But recently on a Facebook group I’ve met two men, I like them both, and they are both aware of each other, ...
A. 11 December 2018: If they BOTH live far away is it really realistic to pursue this?
Are you in any position to move (and still work) near one or the other? Do you really WANT to relocate? Uproot your child and yourself?
I mean, an LDR is not exactly optimal ... (read in full...)
I'm keeping it light and my options open, does this make me a bad person?
Q. Hi, so I’m a single mum, I’ve been on my own for about 7 years now, I haven’t dated in a few years as I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. But recently on a Facebook group I’ve met two men, I like them both, and they are both aware of each other, ...
A. 10 December 2018: I think as long as they KNOW you talk to the other and STILL want to talk to you, it's not an issue.
But WHEN/IF romantic endeavors - like romantic dates, sex (even cybersex, if you are into that) happens then you need to consider how YOU would fe... (read in full...)
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