Post-abortion relationship problem
Q. I had an abortion about three weeks ago. I was feeling fine about it the first two weeks but now I'm not feeling so great. I feel like I see babies everywhere, and I'm sad about it. I want to talk to my boyfriend about my feelings but I'm real...
A. 12 May 2011: 3 weeks ago you were pregnant with all that it entails. That means crazy hormones as well. They don't go away the moment the fetus is gone. It takes the body ( I believe) 6 weeks to readjust. So accept that part. Secondly, even if abortion was the... (read in full...)
My bf is now bi curious and a x-dresser....help!
Q. Ok so... my bf and I have been dating for over 3 years now. He has admited to being a crossdresser. I have seen it, was fun at first now hes really into it. AND now is bi-curious. We had talked about him trying a tgirl and i was alright with it....
A. 12 May 2011: Sorry I would be done. Neither is a turn on for me. If he wants to be with others, I'd let him, but he would lose me.
As for the X dressing.. meh.. doesn't bother me, but again, it would be a bit of a turn off. Since I am not into women. And what... (read in full...)
The first time we tried a relationship, he said it was too fast. Now, the "fast" behavior is happening again -what does he want from me??
Q. First Story: (Sorry its long but it is the whole story) This guy I briefly went out with (a week and a half) broke up with me because he said we moved to fast and he needed time to find himself (Hes 26 im 19). To me he wasnt over his ex wife. He ...
A. 11 May 2011: To me it seems like he's told his mom that you are his GF. Otherwise why would she want to say hi?
But then again who knows ?!
Ask him. Tell him what YOU want from him (relationship or friendship NOT FWB) be honest.
Also, why did you sle... (read in full...)
Sex advice needed!
Q. How do I get over my boyfriend touching me down there while we're having sex? I don't really get any physical feeling from sex unless he does but then I get squirmy of the fact that he can feel everything including hair or his... I am 20 years old ...
A. 11 May 2011: Well maybe.. you two could just light a few candles and give each other massages. Get familiar with every nook and cranny. Intimacy is not just about sex. or get in the shower where you have less to focus on.
Learning to relax, to receive & give i... (read in full...)
He won't text me back!
Q. Basically this guy and I have been great friends for a while. Then, he did everything he could to make me think he liked me - flirting, texting, etc. But recently, he won't text me back, and when I ask him why, he just gives me a stupid answer, like ...
A. 11 May 2011: I would stop texting him as well. IF he is interested he will find SOMETHING to talk about...
Also I know it's common for many "young" folks to conducts relationships and friendships through text, but to me (old person) it seems so shallow,... (read in full...)
Still can't come to the conclusion of why he text his ex, who interfered in our relationship so much!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nine months now and everything was great at first. I'm 17 and he's 18. Just before he went out with me, he was with a girl for 6 months and apparently they were 'first loves'. This girl came back into the picture...
A. 11 May 2011: Tell him to piss or get off the pot.
It's time for him to make up his mind, If he wants to be with you he needs to "let her go". If he wants to be with HER , he needs to let YOU go, so YU can move on. He can't have it both ways.
Then the two ... (read in full...)
She didn't want me 6 years ago, but now she's all over me. Shallow, and how do I get back at her?
Q. Dear cupid, 6 years ago I asked out a certain woman i was 22 she was 20, she is very beautiful,smart and fun. She rejected me bluntly because am 5'7 and she needed to feel protected shes 5'2. It hurt very much but she said it was her preference. ...
A. 11 May 2011: Ehh, don't stoop to her level. Just tell her politely that you aren't interested and move on.
Just because she hurt your pride and ego doesn't give you the right to be a prick. However, letting her know she doesn't rock your boat and then ignoring... (read in full...)
Why does he keep leaving me and then come back?
Q. Me and My ex boyfriend were broken up for two month now he Left Me Because he said that we Just weren't right for each other. Well it's been sometime Now and I was starting to be okay with out him in my life. Until he called me saying stuff like ...
A. 11 May 2011: Well you keep taking him back, so what does he have to loose by dumping you every time he thinks the grass is greener elsewhere?
Yes, I do think he is using you, but.. YOU are letting him.
FWB is not a very healthy situation for anyone who a... (read in full...)
With all of his problems, what can I do aside from leaving him?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now and I'm completely confused as to what to do. I have no doubt that we completely loves me and wants to have a future with me, but he is unemployed and has been since I started going out with ...
A. 11 May 2011: I don't see any way to improve this situation other then leaving him. Is this really how you see your life? your future? taking care of a grown ass man? If he doesn't want to help himself there really isn't much you can do.
As for him joining ... (read in full...)
I want children, but he's ambivalent. What goes through his mind, and is there hope for having children with him?
Q. Dear Cupid Well, I think I would like to hear if anyone has been in a similar situation like me and how they decided... I am in a very happy and stable relationship and it is save to say that this is it for both of us. We are both 32. Ther...
A. 11 May 2011: Well either he want children or he doesn't. For me that would be a deal breaker. IF I WANTED children and my partner didn't. When it comes to having kids you KIND of have to be on the same page.
Talk to him and ask for a straight answer.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a slag even though I lost my virginity to him!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 to 6 months and have a good relationship we were getting over an arguement that was his fault so i was a bit heated at him when the question about sex came up. he was being abnoxious at the fact that i l...
A. 11 May 2011: He sounds like a Douche-bag in training.. You are both so young, but he behaves like a 5 year old. Honestly I would dump him. No matter what you say he will only believe "his" version.
... (read in full...)
He's put me down and I want to show him I'm improved...should I show him a picture of my new living space?
Q. I met a guy not too long ago whom I thought was really nice and cool. He was very sweet at first, and came on very strong (falling for me hard within a couple of weeks). He eventually changed, and started putting down my apartment (it wasn't the ...
A. 11 May 2011: Dude no! He sounds like a moron! STOP trying to change to please some guy. If you want to make changes, make them. FOR yourself.
He sounds, jsut eww. YOU DO NOT need his approval. Delete him, block him and ignore him. REALIZE and ACCEPT that you... (read in full...)
My friends have all turned against me and now I'm afraid to go back to Uni!
Q. I have fallen out with my friends at university, they have been leaving me out for months due to my depression. (Long story but basically they see me as a psycho). Anyway, we have all recently been on quite civil terms verging on friendship again ...
A. 11 May 2011: Focus on yourself and YOUR education, SCREW EM! They seem like a bunch of drama mamma's who's got nothing better to do then cause trouble.
CONSENTRATE on your education. THERE will be other people then THEM to make friends with.... (read in full...)
Fiance went AWOL; can we work this out?
Q. To be completely honest i'm not sure if i seek guidance or reassurance but as of right now i think i just need to know i'm not alone even though i am both mentally and physically . theres no good or bad way to say it so i'm flat out gonna sa...
A. 11 May 2011: 30 days is a mild sentance. He should be glad. There are many ways to leave the military with out going AWOL. Specially if he was having mental problems, but I guess that is all besides the point.
Is he going to get chaptered out ? If so he will ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend gets upset if I don't call when I say I will
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months gets upset if I don’t call when I say I will. Sometimes I say I’m going to call, then something will come up or work will get busy. Then I call later. What’s the big deal?...
A. 11 May 2011: It's about having enough respect to keep your promise to her. If you aren't sure you are going to call, don't make the promise.
It comes down to respect and trust. If you keep a promise it shows you have respect for her and she in turn can trus... (read in full...)
Should I enlist with the Military?
Q. I've been looking into joining some type of reserves for law enforcement, but I hear that people in the reserves are often first to get deployed opposed to people in active duty. Is this true? I would talk to a recruiter, but I do not think they w...
A. 10 May 2011: I would suggest Air Force, personally. IF they do deploy their deployments are shorter. They also have a much nicer variety of bases (compared to Army that is).
If you do NOT want to deploy, don't join the military.
And reservists/versu... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel sick during your period?
Q. Is it normal to feel really nauseous during your period? I feel like I'm constantly car sick. It's awful....
A. 10 May 2011: Some women do and some don't. I would ask your Mom if I were you. It may not be a topic you "want" to discuss with her, but it's quite common to follow the same "pattern" with pain,migraines, bloating, fatigue and so forth as your Mom.
I'm n... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's ex is putting me down in front of their children
Q. My boyfriend has two children, aged 11 and 13 and shares custody with his ex-wife. He has no contact with his ex herself, all communication regarding the kids is done through an intermediary (normally the kids or grandparents). I have never met her, ...
A. 9 May 2011: Honestly I think if things need to be said, it needs to come from your BF. He ought to call her out on it.
Also, the kids might like the drama/chaos this creates. If they still have a mindset that they want mom & dad together they might try and ... (read in full...)
Stunningly beautiful girl, 28, never had a relationship: red flag??
Q. Dear Aunts: I met this girl who seems real nice, sweet and down-to-earth from Europe (Poland). She seems to like me, flirts a hell of a lot, and I been thinking of asking her out. She is stunning, does some modeling, is here on a work visa. On...
A. 9 May 2011: Just because she is stunning doesn't mean she would have had lots of BF's. I have known many really pretty girls who have had a hard time getting dates.
The only red flag I see is that she is here on a visa. Which mean she might have to go home ... (read in full...)
How can I speed things up and make my period start?
Q. I am 13 years old and I have all the signs for my period but i havent gotten it yet and i want it to come faster... Is there any way that I could speed it up just that little bit without pain or pills? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!...
A. 9 May 2011: No there isn't. BE GLAD you don't have it yet you will most likely have it for 45+ years.. once a months.. TRUST me it is NOT something FUN/GREAT/EXCITING! It's pain, mess and emotionally annoying.. EVERY month.
... (read in full...)
I am crushed. I read what she wrote about my size and don't how I am going to work this, or our new LDR, out with her.
Q. I need help with a difficult situation. I met a girl about three months ago through a work friend and we hit it off. We have been dating since then and I feel as if the relationship is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. ...
A. 9 May 2011: Honestly, if that is how she talks about you behind your back WHY would you even WANT to attempt a relationship with her? Be in LDR or not?
I would be honest with her (once she gets to her destination) say sorry, but I don't think you and i will e... (read in full...)
Duel finances in preparation for moving together, I want to pay exactly equal but as he has more expenses he thinks I'm being mean. Am I?
Q. My boyfriend and I are trying to come to an agreement on finances before moving in together. We earn similar salaries, and have similar expenses for cars, insurance and so on but he has to pay maintenance for a daughter and ex wife. I don’t have ...
A. 7 May 2011: His maintenance and child support should NOT be in your common budget, those expenses are HIS alone. Sorry there is no way I want to be financially "responsible" for his past life.
You (in my opinion) should have a budget on the SHARED expenses... (read in full...)
Why am I so upset by this guy?
Q. A guy I used to be sort of "friends with benefits" with, and who I still like a lot, wants to sleep with me even though he now has a girlfriend. He's been with her for nearly 2 years but he's been coming on to me for about a year and a half. We he ...
A. 6 May 2011: female reader, YouWish + ?, writes
You should give him a dose of reality, as in "Maybe we were FWB at one time, but I don't sleep with cheaters."
I agree.
He is making you into "the other woman" eww.. who wants that? Who wants to feel ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat on my bf by "cybersexing" with a random guy I don't know? If so, what should I do now?
Q. Hi, Im a gay guy who got into a relationship about 2 weeks ago with someone who I think is "the one". I feel like it was love at first sight. However I am too scared to tell him I love him because of how quickly it has been since we got together. ...
A. 6 May 2011: Yes, I would consider it cheating.
I think you need to dig a little deeper for the reason as to WHY you did it. You say you don't know.. I don't believe that for a minute.
You knew it was wrong, yet you still did it, so there has to have been... (read in full...)
School reunion trauma.....my husband kissed his ex while I was there!
Q. We traveled far to his 50th class reunion. His ex greeted him very affectionally.They were talking as I came up and my husband never introduced me to her or anyone else. She shoved a photo of them and said she was infatuated with my husband.At the ...
A. 6 May 2011: Err, I woulds sit him down calmly and ask him to explain it to you.
Sounds like she still has the hots for him or maybe doesn't have a life herself.
Did he think it was ok? Was it really jsut a kiss on the cheek and SHE made it into something e... (read in full...)
Bf and I haven't had sex in 7 months. Should I be concerned that the spark is fading?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for three years and we haven't had sex in seven months. I realize that most people would leave in that situation or at least try to to do something about it but oddly enough, we're both perfectly content. We do get ...
A. 6 May 2011: YES! Specially if you are in the 18-21 age group I would worry a LOT.
I have been married 13 almost 14 years and we still have very regular sex. Only times we haven't is when he has been deployed overseas.... (read in full...)
Waiting For Sex : Am I Making A Mistake?
Q. I'm just 22 yr old virgin whose never dated, and would prefer waiting to have sex until around the 6th or 7th month in a (long term) relationship. But it seems most men can only wait for 3 weeks. I actually wanted to wait until marriage, but as I ...
A. 6 May 2011: I wouldn't "lower" my standards one bit, if I were you.
I don't think 5-7 months is too long before sex, AT ALL. Though I wouldn't rigidly stick by it, sometimes you just know. But if a guy is telling you that he isn't going to stick around t... (read in full...)
My bf still chats with his exes, even though it makes me upset. Am I right in letting this bother me so much?
Q. Hi, I'm in a troubled spot. I'm dating a great guy and we're perfect except... He still talks to his exes. Once or twice things got slightly inappropriate... with one ex, he made a few comments that were sexual--not directed at them having sex, ...
A. 6 May 2011: I agree 100% with Cerberus. ... (read in full...)
He raised this girl for 7 years but she is not his daughter, and now she is calling him a bit too much and it is making me uncomfortable....
Q. So my bf of 1 year had a previous relationship 12 years ago and supposedly raised her daughter for 7 years. well last year before he met me he started talking to the daughter who is now 16 but she calls over and over, sometimes up to 7 or 8 times ...
A. 6 May 2011: He was there and raised her for almost half her life. Did you expect that he would just stop feeling like the "dad" he has been and move on? Or that she would just think :"Oh well he isn't my real dad..."
My hubby dated a girl with two daughter... (read in full...)
I need to find a way to break up with him!
Q. I keep giving my boyfriend chances and he is clearly not changing .I need to find a way to break up with him ,but the thing is he is a controling person ,and I gave him to much power .He is expecting me to stay with him .To be honnest I read an ...
A. 6 May 2011: Pack your stuff and get out. Or if the place you live in is in your name.. pack his stuff and have a 3rd person present when he picks it up. Change the locks.
... (read in full...)
How do I convince her to ditch her new guy and give it a shot with me?
Q. Ok so here's the story. I've been in love with a female friend for the longest time. Just until recently she tells me that she likes me too but not just as a friend. She says that she wishes that they were more guys like me and that I was amazing ...
A. 6 May 2011: I wouldn't not try and force the issue, honestly. If she really is that into you she should make the obvious action and dump her current BF.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a woman says she feels smothered?
Q. My wife and I have been together 19 years. We have not had a normal or regular sex life for most of it. We have talked the issue to death and yesterday she agreed she will see a therapist. (I always initiate and she always refuses.) My own pop psyc...
A. 6 May 2011: Not wanting to have sex can also be hormonal. If she is in menopause or close it can make women turn off sex completely.
On top of the therapist (which I think is a good idea) she might want to get a doctor appt as well. (I wouldn't force it thoug... (read in full...)
How do you trust in a relationship after being cheated on and played so many times?
Q. How do you trust in a relationship after being cheated on and played so many times?...
A. 6 May 2011: You can't trust someone who is a "serial cheater". I wouldn't even try. What would be the point? They are not going to magically change over night and stop cheating. If they actually CARED about their partners feelings they would cheat, over and ... (read in full...)
How old do you have to be to buy the contraceptive pill in Queensland, Australia?
Q. I was looking into buying the pill. Not really for sexual reasons (although it will come in handy), mainly to help clear my skin up, and to help regulate my periods. I am also wondering how I get the pill? Do I just go to the chemist and ask t...
A. 4 May 2011: I don't know how it works Down under, but most places you have to see a doctor and get an examination before getting birth control, if you are under age ( under 16-18) you have to have your parents consent.
I'm not sure how many doctors will pre... (read in full...)
Do you still have periods if you have a STI?
Q. do you still have periods if you have an STI/STD? ...
A. 4 May 2011: Yes, you can even have what seems like your period when you are pregnant.
If you think you have a STI/STD see a doctor. Some STI/STD's are pretty serious.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me changing my mind about marrying my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, in this time she's had severe drug problems and has cheated on me three times, I love her. but now she wants a commitment and wants us to get married, I said Yes initially after we got back together but I ...
A. 4 May 2011: No, but ... why are you still with her?... (read in full...)
She cut contact after her husband made a pass at me. I miss her, should I contact her?
Q. Im not sure how to put this.....my life long best friend and I havent had any contact for more than 5 years and I really miss her. No, we didnt have an arguement or anything. Her husband made a pass at me and I did not tell her. He has done thi...
A. 4 May 2011: I would write her a letter. Also I would be apologizing for not telling her that her hubs were hitting on your. You should have known better.
... (read in full...)
If a guy has sex with a girl, does that mean he loves her?
Q. If a guy has sex with a girl does that usually means he loves her? Also If he didn't love her how can guys have sex with a girl without having deep feelings for them? Thank you just curious....
A. 4 May 2011: No, sex doesn't always equate love.
Sometimes it's jsut lust,boredom, curiosity, dare.. you name it...... (read in full...)
Do you regret having sex before getting married?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and he's 19 and I'm 17 and we've been talking about having sex for a couple of months now and my question is do any of you regret having sex before marriage or just having it at all when you ...
A. 4 May 2011: Not at all. I lost my virginity when I was 19 and didn't marry til 28..... (read in full...)
Fiance wants an occasional threesome and I can't handle it!
Q. i need help. my fiance and i just planned to get married. everything goes so well, i mean we went through many obstacles all the way here. but then he mentioned he would want threesome with me and another girl occasionally. i can't handle it. but he ...
A. 4 May 2011: Total Deal breaker there! The engagement and wedding would be off. He can go screw a 100 girls all at once for all I care, I wouldn't accept that from a guy I am about to marry, HECK no.
Sorry.... (read in full...)
Should I send this mail to my girlfriend?
Q. The e-mail she sent me: I don't know right now if we are in a relationship or just friends or even nothing. But i feel necessary to send you this mail. About the hurt feeling i gave you, i'm sorry about it. I know you have a lot of questions ...
A. 4 May 2011: Honestly, she seems very self centered and all about "ME". She is also all over the place.
If you mail her that, PLEASE use the space-bar a little.
... (read in full...)
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