My relationship's been ruined by my boyfriend taking drugs. Advice?
Q. I've broken up with my first boyfriend of 9 months today for the second time. I lost my virginity to him, he was my first proper love and i planned to have a future with him. We first split up 2 months ago shortly after he...
A. 25 November 2012: IF.... you get a call like that again..... call 911 or 999 (I think it is in the UK) and pass on the information.
He could have overdosed, he could have acute alcohol poisoning BOTH need serious medical attention.
And GOOD FOR YOU in deciding ... (read in full...)
My relationship's been ruined by my boyfriend taking drugs. Advice?
Q. I've broken up with my first boyfriend of 9 months today for the second time. I lost my virginity to him, he was my first proper love and i planned to have a future with him. We first split up 2 months ago shortly after he...
A. 25 November 2012: If he is getting into Meth, is abusive and not able to trust you then YES of course it was the right thing to end it.
Someone in their teens, like yourself is NOT equipped to help someone stop doing drugs - and as drugs go Meth is pretty hard cor... (read in full...)
Was it acceptable for my boyfriend to be on a dating site?
Q. My friend found my boyfriend on a dating site so I dumped him. He didn't care that I was upset, he didn't try to prove it wasn't him just said I should believe him. He got angry with me and called me an ugly fat c***t, so in a temper went out on a ...
A. 24 November 2012: It depends.
How long were you two dating? If is was less them 3-4 months I don't see it as being totally "wrong" - if it was more and you two and taken the step to be exclusive, then YES, VERY WRONG.
Did you two meet on that dating site and ... (read in full...)
I had a fling with a married co-worker now he's seeing another worker but he treats her so much better than he did me! WHY?
Q. I am so mentally messed up over someone and i don't know what to do about it! I can't stop dwelling on him! And I am driving my own self crazy!! So here is the story...... I started a fling last year with someone at my work. It was mostly sexual. ...
A. 24 November 2012: Everyone wants to be loved - there is no shame in that. And I do think you can "excuse" your behavior (up to a point) due to the loss of your parents. And may I say, I'm sorry you lost your parents. Having SUCH a big loss in your life and so ... (read in full...)
I had a fling with a married co-worker now he's seeing another worker but he treats her so much better than he did me! WHY?
Q. I am so mentally messed up over someone and i don't know what to do about it! I can't stop dwelling on him! And I am driving my own self crazy!! So here is the story...... I started a fling last year with someone at my work. It was mostly sexual. ...
A. 24 November 2012: Everyone wants to be loved - there is no shame in that. And I do think you can "excuse" your behavior (up to a point) due to the loss of your parents. And may I say, I'm sorry you lost your parents. Having SUCH a big loss in your life and so ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to the cute girls at the coffee shop without coming across as creepy?
Q. I go to this coffee shop alot to study and there is always a couple cute girls there and i always want to go up to them and talk to them but i don't ever know what to say to not seem like a creeper or a weirdo. any advice?...
A. 24 November 2012: Next time buy then a round of cookies and have it sent to their table :)
If they have any manners they will thank you and then you can strike up a conversation. Just don't expect long existential conversations to start out with, just some sim... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I were in car accident and he didn't even ask if I was ok?
Q. Please tell me if I'm overreacting here because I can't work it out. My boyfriend of 4 years and I were just in a car accident (he ran into the back of someone on black ice). I am ok for the most part, although I hurt my neck a little bit and I ...
A. 24 November 2012: My guess, he is embarrassed that it happened - HE could have gotten you killed - he could have killed someone else and even himself.
There is nothing like a bit of reality to show HOW people react to various situations. HE did not react very cla... (read in full...)
How has he found it so easy to move on when I still cant?
Q. Why do men find it so easy to move on? I was in a relationship with a wonderful man for almost 2 years and we split in march. We were madly in love but due to circumstances beyond our control (which I won't go in to,) we decided the best thing we ...
A. 24 November 2012: People don't move at the same speed and not always use the same methods to "get over" someone or "move on".
I think the reason he will NOT accept your calls is because he believes that NO CONTACT is the best way to "get over" you. ANd I think he... (read in full...)
If his one night stand with my cousin was ancient history why lie about it? Was breaking up the right thing to do?
Q. Did I do the right thing breaking up with him? I've been seeing a guy in another country for 4 months now. He's 35 and Im 29. I recently found out from my cousin (also in the same country where he lives) after seeing his picture on her black...
A. 24 November 2012: To me the lying about something as "little" as to sleeping with your cousin would make me pause and think what else would he be lying about?
And that right there would then snowball into distrust, and honestly once the trust is gone.. it is might... (read in full...)
Bi-curious...
Q. I'm a 49 year old male, I enjoy being nude a lot at home. I walk around the house naked when no one else is around. I'm married for 15 years. My question in this " I enjoy seeing my nude body and am getting an urge to try being bi-sexual. Is it ...
A. 24 November 2012: Personally, no.
If my husband decided that this was something he wanted to try men, the marriage would be over. Because not only could it put me in danger from STD's as well, but I would see it as a slap in the face. And maybe because I'm not inte... (read in full...)
I had a fling with a married co-worker now he's seeing another worker but he treats her so much better than he did me! WHY?
Q. I am so mentally messed up over someone and i don't know what to do about it! I can't stop dwelling on him! And I am driving my own self crazy!! So here is the story...... I started a fling last year with someone at my work. It was mostly sexual. ...
A. 24 November 2012: ******Please knock some sense into me and help me!!!****
OK - honey, here is my advice - STOP mucking about with married men! It ought to be beneath you! And RARELY EVER does something GOOD come from this.
My suggestion, look for a new job. L... (read in full...)
I'm a secret cross dresser. Wife is threatening divorce and friend wants me to perform sex act on him! What should I do?.
Q. Hi, I'm a married guy of three year's and been a secret cross dresser for 15 year's. The problem is my wife has caught me and has said if I don't stop then she will divorce me. When I spoke to a friend about it he asked to see me dressed up, he a...
A. 24 November 2012: ****Should I sell myself or try and ignore my desire to dress?****
To answer question #1 - No, it will ONLY make you feel worse. AND really, do you think you wife would be MORE OK with the cross dressing if she knows you are prostituting yourself... (read in full...)
Did I miss my chance with her by waiting too long?
Q. "Dear Cupid" or whatever, I really like this girl, and we're in a complicated situation. Well, I am in band and I play trumpet, and she was on dance team, and I have liked her since the first week of school. Well, after our first home football...
A. 24 November 2012: I don't think the D-bag and her managed a whole lot of "serious relationship" time so I would tell her. You don't really have anything to lose, do you?
She might not be ready to date, but at least she will know how you feel. The ball will be in HE... (read in full...)
I am in love but he doesn't want to commit!
Q. I'm in love with someone who at the moment doesn't to commit to a relationship. Right now, we both are good friends, we help each other, hang out, text and call each other regularly. We have grown to trust each other and have each others'backs. When ...
A. 24 November 2012: It's not really that complicated. He doesn't WANT a relationship, he wants to have several girls he can screw around with and the have you who he almost treats as a GF, but without the commitment/responsibility.
Friends do not kiss and cuddle. ... (read in full...)
I want to give myself the same pain he said I caused him!
Q. My friend and I had this experience with this older man and at first he showed me attention, etc. but once he saw my friend he completely forgot about me and started being rude to me and then one time he said he almost died and blamed it on me and ...
A. 24 November 2012: Honey, stop being so dramatic.
There is no need for cutting yourself over a dude, EVER and I seriously doubt you caused him that much pain if he is chasing after your friend.
Take a break from this "friend" let her find out for herself that... (read in full...)
He cried, real tears, but guess what!
Q. Just over two months ago I left my dating site obsessed boyfriend of four years. I accepted dating sites were part of his life and always will be. He has suddenly started trying to get me back again with the same old bull shit and accused me of ...
A. 23 November 2012: Well, he showed his true colors fast didn't he?
Of course he didn't like being called out on his behavior, but on the other hand now you know 100% that he really doesn't give a flying fart about your feelings.... (read in full...)
Bi-curious...
Q. I'm a 49 year old male, I enjoy being nude a lot at home. I walk around the house naked when no one else is around. I'm married for 15 years. My question in this " I enjoy seeing my nude body and am getting an urge to try being bi-sexual. Is it ...
A. 23 November 2012: I think being curious in normal at any age. Though perhaps more common in the younger and the middle aged. Why - well the young because the surges in hormones and the middle aged because they think they might have missed out of stuff in their ... (read in full...)
Need some help from you guys regarding a delusional husband!
Q. Help!! My husband is delusional from day one of out marriage. He is very strong, arrogant and refuses to listen anything negative about himself. He keeps talking about the past and always brings examples from the past and emotionally abuses me. His ...
A. 23 November 2012: I agree with SVC - I don't see what you are asking.
And I seriously don't understand why you think staying married will FIX anything, you are in lack of a better description sticking your head in the sand by working in another city.
Why sta... (read in full...)
Do I send him a note???
Q. Ok there is a guy at the gym, he is one of the trainers, I am always in a hurry and barely ever get a chance to stop and talk to this guy but I have liked him for ages. Whenever we do talk he is quite shy with me and often looks away when I ...
A. 23 November 2012: Hmm, how about MAKING time to chat with him first, gauge his reaction to that before sending a note?... (read in full...)
Why am I a born again virgin with no one to love?
Q. Hi , I am a born again virgin who has not had sex in ten years I am a young woman still I just turned 41. I want to get back to the love making days but now it's kind of hard to trust people now. I want to get married now and I just haven't ran up ...
A. 23 November 2012: What exactly is a born again virgin?
Not having sex for 10 years doesn't make you a virgin IMHO
But I guess that is not the main question here. I would suggest you get out there, take some classes, find a hobby and meet people with some of the... (read in full...)
He cried, real tears, but guess what!
Q. Just over two months ago I left my dating site obsessed boyfriend of four years. I accepted dating sites were part of his life and always will be. He has suddenly started trying to get me back again with the same old bull shit and accused me of ...
A. 23 November 2012: I'm sorry. To be honest.. He thinks he can do better. That is why he is still looking. But that he would like to keep you around til that day the "greener grass" is found.
Doesn't mean you aren't good enough, it just means he thinks he can do b... (read in full...)
My girlfriend stalks guys on facebook, meets them and then tells them she has a boyfriend and only wants to be friends!
Q. So I have been dating this girl for a while about 8 months now and we seem to be good for eachother. The relationship is difficult to explain because we live so far away and it gets difficult sometimes. Anyways i have been noticing something about ...
A. 22 November 2012: My first thought about your GF... WEIRDO!
She does it because she think it makes her "popular" to have all these "male friends" chasing and wanting her and for the attention. Both seems somewhat pathetic. No offense.
No (sane)girl stalk... (read in full...)
Why did the evening start out date like and at the end she made it clear we were just friends?
Q. I met this girl in August and we hit it off straight away. So we started going out on dates, going to the cinema, meals out ect, which would always end up with us passionately kissing and cuddling till the early hours. We even performed oral sex on ...
A. 22 November 2012: If you are looking for a GF, not a friend - then I would cut the contact.
If you want to JUST be friends with her, no more cuddling & kissing.... (read in full...)
It seemed like a perfect time for a kiss but she wasn't up for it. Why does she act like she is and then turn off?
Q. A girl friend of mine asked me to go watch twilight. So i went along as I kind of got forced to. She was holding my hand in the film. Squeezing it and than putting both her hands on mine. Anyway she enjoyed the evening. I'm near her road dr...
A. 22 November 2012: Does she WANT to date you or are you her "friend" ?... (read in full...)
I feel like I guilt tripped my boyfriend into being my boyfriend
Q. I met this guy and we were both in Biology in college. We instantly hit it off, but I was afraid that getting into a relationship atm would make my parents think he was distracting me from school, and thus not like him. So we decided to wait until ...
A. 22 November 2012: Honey, if you think HE might have had doubts, then sit him down and TALK to him.
Tell him HOW you feel. That you feel he "only" asked because you freaked out.
My guess is, he ALREADY thought you were his GF and he was your BF. He didn't know h... (read in full...)
She's the woman of my dreams but her ex is a thorn in my side
Q. Ok i am with the woman of my dreams.. i would go to the moon and back for her she is just so sweet. But i think that jealousy has gotten the best of me. We have been together for two years, she used to be married and i use to be married, she has ...
A. 22 November 2012: I think she didn't respond because she rather IGNORE his texts, then play his game.
And for the most part I agree with that action. If she responds to texts like that - she is playing along - no matter WHAT she texts back.
But instead of "conf... (read in full...)
I Don't want sexy undies for Christmas again!
Q. Im dreading my Christmas present from my partner, it will be 'sexy underwear' i dont know why he keeps wasting his money because ive told him time and time again that i dont like it and it makes me feel cheap. I dont feel comfortable wearing it at ...
A. 22 November 2012: If he buy you another pair ask for the receipt and get a refund, buy something YOU like.
Or maybe you should buy him something a equally silly.. like these.. see how he likes that.
http://www.wi... (read in full...)
How to win this girl back?
Q. So the story is that there's this girl who used to like me (a lot), as I myself was crazy about her. Things were going great between us until a little misunderstanding got in the way. She had heard from her nosy girl friends that I was into someone ...
A. 22 November 2012: If you are so shy that you can't even man up and tell her that her friend misunderstood or lied to her - HOW can you even conduct a relationship with this girl?
Honey, I understand being shy and non-confrontational - but look at where that got... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to win me back but has an online profile that he visits every day???
Q. Not sure if I want to continue reuniting with my ex-bf. We had been together for 12 years, living together for 6 of those, then he left me in a most cowardly sort of way. Then, after about two-and-a-half years of on-and-off luke-warm contact,...
A. 22 November 2012: Sorry any guy (or girl) with an ACTIVE dating profile that he updates and checks on EVERY day.... IS STILL LOOKING for "Miss Right" - or with the change in status "Miss Casual".
He is keeping his options open - which means his main goal is not t... (read in full...)
How do we bring back the fun in our sex life with 2 young children?
Q. How do I bring the fun back in my wife's and I sex life with two toddles ?...
A. 21 November 2012: Find a baby sitter - have a date night out every now and then. More romance = more sex :) specially from a woman's POW.
... (read in full...)
Is he attracted to me?
Q. Long story short: I was at a bar meeting a small group of male Z-list celebrities. One of the guys from this group that I have a slight crush on/attracted to took my arms as soon as I stepped in front of him and began caressing them. As we proceeded ...
A. 21 November 2012: He was buzzed and saw a pretty girl (you) so he hit on your/flirted with you.
Pretty sure if he thought you ought to wear a brown bag over your head he wouldn't have acted that way.... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? How can I deal with this issue? He regards his family as a higher priority over our relationship.
Q. I am in my late twenties and my boyfriend is in his mid thirties. We have been together for 4 years and discussed getting married. One of the issues I have, however, is his relationship with his family. Every Tuesday, he has dinner at his paren...
A. 21 November 2012: He could have family dinners on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday - thus making week-end plans impossible, but his WEEKLY family dinner is every Tuesday.
I have to ask WHY you aren't going to these weekly family dinners? IF you two have been together... (read in full...)
Did he really mean what he said or was he just trying to get into my pants again?
Q. I know this guy from a dating site. We plan for our first date out for drinks but he got tied up at work so he suggested to have drinks at his place. Long story short, i agreed to go over only if he's cooking dinner and he said yes so we hang out. ...
A. 21 November 2012: I wouldn't met up with this guy again - there is no excuse for his behavior.
Learn from this - DO NOT met up at people's houses - date a guy in PUBLIC places til you feel you actually KNOW the person. If he can't make it to a public place in time ... (read in full...)
He wants to hook up and I don't!
Q. This guy i really like (a lot) thinks I'm hot and wants to hook up... I dont want to- at all! And we had one class together and i tAlked to him a lot but now i dont know what to say or do because he doesn't text that much and i dont go to school ...
A. 21 November 2012: Sometimes people don't turn out to be who we think they are or who we want them to be.
You thought you liked the guy (a lot) but turns out he is just another horny dude, who wants to use the fact that you like him.
Forget about him.
... (read in full...)
He asked for my number but hasn't called!
Q. Friday night, as I was leaving the bar, a cute guy I had DEFINITELY noticed, who had introduced himself to me that night (but we were never really able to have a conversation), hurried over and tapped on my driver's side window. He said he something ...
A. 21 November 2012:
Eh don't sweat it, you got kissed by a horny toad, it happens.
There are decent guys out there :)... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me that my significant other will not buy me lingerie
Q. My fiance MO use to be to buy his ex girlfriends flowers, lingerie and a card I found out. He has never done this with me. Victoria's Secret catalog arrived in the mail and he said look it's Victoria's Secret. I said and so what you going to buy me. ...
A. 21 November 2012: Hmm, could be he bought his ex lingerie and ended up with DRAMA - as in he got the wrong color, too big a size or too sexy, not sexy enough.... you name it.
Or she hated lingerie. Some women find lingerie offensive because it is not realllll... (read in full...)
How do I stop being paranoid over his FWB ex?
Q. Okay, Aunties I need my fears eased. Seven years ago, my fiance had a friends with benefits relationship with a woman for a year. She ended it with him because another woman got jealous. The whole situation is bizarre. The fwb ex-girlfriend e...
A. 21 November 2012: First of all their relationship was a FWB so a strictly physical one and.. the woman dumped your fiance for another woman - so it seems like the "ex" prefers women over men, first of all - she has been with the same woman for 7 years, so that is ... (read in full...)
I just found out that a man I've been flirting with, is married. Any suggestions on how to back off politely?
Q. Help, At work their is this guy who has been flirting and I've been flirting back, I'm okay with that. But when I wanted to show a friend what he looked like a came across his public Facebook account and found out he has three kids and is marr...
A. 21 November 2012: I would just stop flirting back. Can be he is a slime-ball, can be this is just who he is (a super flirt) - either way if you find it inappropriate YOU stop. If he doesn't get the hint - I suggest when you are one-on-one with him that you set him ... (read in full...)
Is it common for people to be in a relationship and signed up to online dating sites?
Q. I have noticed this kind of question comes up a lot on this website. Is it very common for people to be signed up to dating websites whilst in a relationship. I have found my boyfriend to be doing it and lying about it. when he is not able to lie, ...
A. 21 November 2012: There s nothing "harmless" about signing dating sites. Whether he wants to admit it or not - I would assume that ANYONE signing up for dating sites are looking. Looking for casual sex, looking for a partner, looking for dates - but LOOKING is the ... (read in full...)
Is this rude behavior for his adult children to not respond to invitiations to visit for the holidays?
Q. My fiance's three adult children never respond to his invitations to visit us over the holidays. He has e-mailed them, texted them, left messages on their phones, but they never respond. Communication is sporadic at best. The two sons are single and ...
A. 20 November 2012: I'm with SVC, I would just assume they are not coming and show/prepare accordingly.
Is this the norm for the communication between your fiance and his children? The him reaching out and them ignoring him?
... (read in full...)
He will not be intimate with me re the little things...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years(I don't know how), because he will not be intimate with me like take my hand or touch me kiss me anything!!!! We have 2 children so sex isn't a problem obviously, but it's straight and to the point. ...
A. 20 November 2012: Stop giving him sex on demand.
I am NOT a fan of withholding affection or intimacy - but if you have TOLD him that you NEED a hug, a kiss and foreplay and he totally disregard it, I would try and not give him sex. When he asks why..
You rea... (read in full...)
My husband is terrible with money and blames me! I've tried talking to him but it doesn't work, what can I do next?
Q. My husband makes bad decisions when it comes to money. He will buy any thing from any body. We have a business in the city but he insisted on moving 1 1/2 hour away from work. We spent months driving to houses and land. Some of the were 2 hrs a...
A. 20 November 2012: I would evaluate if this is something you can live with or not in a marriage.
Your husband seems to use you for one thing, a scapegoat for his own bad choices. However, you LET him do this to you. This for now is his/your pattern of behavior... (read in full...)
He asked for my number but hasn't called!
Q. Friday night, as I was leaving the bar, a cute guy I had DEFINITELY noticed, who had introduced himself to me that night (but we were never really able to have a conversation), hurried over and tapped on my driver's side window. He said he something ...
A. 19 November 2012: I'm thinking this guy thinks he HAS to wait 3 days before calling you, or you will think he is way too keen on you.
So, if you like him I'd give him a day or two to call you back.
However, like Dorothy Dix said, don't sit around and wait ... (read in full...)
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