I had a vasectomy 4 years ago...so why was my wife was taking birth control pills?
Q. Quick question for any women out there. I am married for 12 years, 3 kids, no "issues" per se. I’m a good dad, provider, etc. My wife is a good mom, hard worker and loves me. We went through a period though about 2-3 years ago for around 12 ...
A. 14 December 2012: Yes, she could be telling you the truth.
If I didn't take the BC pill I would have periods from Hades and PMS from Hell... BC helps keep my hormones in relative check.
Using the pill makes it easier to know exactly when it shows up and if ... (read in full...)
Why am I so sad, instead of being mad at the way my married ex pressured me?
Q. I am in a really difficult situation. I have been in love with a man for 18 years. When I met him he was separated from his wife and I was newly divorced. We were together 4 years and then he returned to his wife and children. I was hurt but I ...
A. 13 December 2012: I think perhaps because he dropped of the pedestal you had put him? He showed his true face and it was Ugly? That you loved a guy who would treat you THIS bad?
And maybe because you are a little mad at yourself for still "wanting" to have done the... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend blows hot and cold about getting back together
Q. So here it goes. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years just broke up on Thanksgiving and it was a pretty rough break up. The thing is this Friday would have been our 2 year anniversary which is going to be a really rough day for me. Heres my question...
A. 13 December 2012: Stop having contact with her. She likes the fact that all she has to do is YANK your chain and you are there with bells on.
She likes that she has you to fall back on. That doesn't mean she really cares, it just means you are "useful" til she find... (read in full...)
I don't think I'll ever measure up to society's standards
Q. I'm a university student in a major that I enjoy. I've also been in a relationship for two years with a handsome man I love. But I just don't feel good about myself. I don't feel like I'm smart enough to get into graduate school like my boyfrien...
A. 13 December 2012: What ARE you good at? FOCUS on that - let that part of you thrive. EVERYONE is good at something. FIND your niche and stop measuring yourself to others. YOU are YOU, not jenny or Jill or whomever you compare yourself to.
There are MANY women ou... (read in full...)
He is updating his profiles on dating sites and this is unsettling me, what should I do?
Q. I've been with a guy for close to 8 months now. He has helped me a lot with issues from my previous relationship. (Had gotten out of a 2 year relationship and cut myself from my friends who dragged me out 7 months after when I met this guy). He's b...
A. 13 December 2012: I think if this is a problem you BOTH need to quit playing around in CL and dating sites.... (read in full...)
How faithful can a girl can be in a LDR when temptations are everywhere?
Q. Hi, im in a ldr for about 7 months and we both are in love. due to our job and school compromises we wont be able to move together until in 2 years or so. so far we have been seeing each other every two months and will be on the same basis, maybe ...
A. 13 December 2012: How faithful can YOU be? Honestly, it shouldn't be any harder for her then it is for you.
First of all FORGET about the cheating ex. Your current GF i NOT her. So don't punish your current GF for past GF's mistakes. That is not fair.
Secondl... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend said we need a break so I can take some time to think about myself and my feelings, what does he mean by this?
Q. My boyfriend said this classical line "We need a break". I was shocked and all, but to tell the truth I was expecting it. Why? Well... you see... He's like 24 years older than me (he's 42, I'm 18), he's divorced, has 3 kids (two girls, 22 and ...
A. 13 December 2012: I think he realized just how young you are and how much growing up you still have to do. Since he already have "grown" kids he might not feel like he want to date one too (no offense) just trying to explain that he LOVED the idea of the two of you, ... (read in full...)
What will I do if he ends up in Jail? What I should do right now given the situation?
Q. To start off with, I'm a nineteen year old girl dating a nineteen year old male. We've been dating a little more than ten months now. There has never really been a fight between the two of us either, we get along quite well. Anyways, like all rela...
A. 13 December 2012: Do you actually KNOW what he was charged with?
And honestly this is something HE HAS to work out himself, you can't do it for him. Seems to me that he isn't taking responsibility AT ALL for his actions.
And what does that tell you about him as... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: Sorry I don't see her changing anytime soon. She might have fears that YOU could/would cheat and thus project her worst fears onto you, but all she is really doing is pushing you FAR FAR away.
If she FIRMLY believe that you can't be trusted,... (read in full...)
I just found out a girl I really like has a boyfriend. Should I still attempt to get to know her?
Q. First, just a short question, should I feel sorry for flirting with her a little bit before I knew she's already seeing someone? She was really nice about everything towards me. Anyway, I asked this girl I like for her number, but she said tha...
A. 13 December 2012: I agree with person12345 - she is off limits. If you start to try and make friend but honestly have an ulterior motive, that makes you shady and you might actually end up being friend-zoned if her relationship doesn't pan out.
How would you feel... (read in full...)
Was it wrong of me to tell my boyfriend to touch another part of my body as I don't enjoy him fingering me?
Q. Sex Question: I have been with my boyfriend for about two years and we have a great sex life. The one thing that I do not really like is when he fingers me. Everything else is great,but I feel like he can be a bit to aggressive in that department ...
A. 13 December 2012: YES, it is OK to say what you like and don't like. BE honest with him and tell him he is too rough and that it stops being enjoyable, now if he WANTS to participate take his hand and guide it show how fast, how hard and so forth.
Just moving h... (read in full...)
The only way he'll let me break up with him is if I tell him the truth!
Q. So im kind of stuck in a pickle. what do you do when you dont want to hurt someones feelings, break them by telling them the truth ? That after 4 years of dating you went away alone for acouple months and in just 3 months felt happier with someone ...
A. 13 December 2012: I think if you have been together for 4 years you kind of owe him the truth? Don't you?
I understand that you don't want to look bad, but you need to own your choices and actions.
You can put it to him gently though, no need to be "mean" about ... (read in full...)
In a troubled relationship should I tell him I had a miscarriage?
Q. First of all, please don't judge my relationship. I'm not asking a question about how to "win his affections" or anything, I'm asking if I should tell him about a miscarriage. My boyfriend and I are in a complicated situation right now. He's abo...
A. 12 December 2012: No, do not bring in his friend. She is HIS friend. And will feel obligated to tell him or voice her opinion about this to him.
THIS is between you and him. And if he can't handle the "work" it takes to be a BF, do you really think he can handle t... (read in full...)
I get very upset when my partner sees his child from a past relationship! How do I deal with this?
Q. I have been with my partner for 15 months. We love each other very much. However, 7 months into our relationship I discovered that he has a child with his last partner of 2 years. I was skeptical throughout these 7 months as I had heard roumors, and ...
A. 12 December 2012: I'm sorry - dating a guy who doesn't tell you up front he has kids, well that is shady, but not totally strange. I guess he didn't want to scare you away, but that the same time he took away "the easy" way out for you. He waited to tell you til you ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend left me pregnant, doesn't care to see our child or pay for anything,
Q. My ex boyfriend left me pregnant, we already have a child together and he has two before me. When we broke up the first time, he was on craigslist looking for men and women for sex and i took him back, he was looking at porn also and when we were ...
A. 12 December 2012: Cerberus, whether he pays Child Support or not - he can walk into the child's life anytime he sees fit - UNLESS he chooses to give up his parental rights. Just like she can decide, at any point in time, to sue for CS.
Not paying CS doesn't ... (read in full...)
Fertility doubts!
Q. hi! i seem to have a 32 days based period, does that make one less fertile? i wonder, i sometimes don’t get periods for 2 months do i still have a chance to conceive?...
A. 12 December 2012: I would talk to your doctor and maybe try a ovulation kit. The ovulation is more important then the frequency of your periods.
And if you are trying to get pregnant don't forget that 12 months may SEEM long but is the average most couples ... (read in full...)
Why do I find so many similarities between my dead boyfriend and my current one?
Q. Dear Cupid; I was one of the most blessed people alive, I had everything, the family, the friends and a love story that blossomed since I was young, I fell in love with my high school sweetheart and we went to collage together then got engaged...
A. 12 December 2012: Well part from the birthday, maybe the similarities are there because you have a "type" ?
My first BF and my now husband do look alike on many aspects down to quirky personality traits and hobbies. Which I have noticed over the years.
They ar... (read in full...)
Can chemistry be built up over time??
Q. I currently have an intimate relationship with my best friend, but when I bring up being in a relationship, she says the chemistry isn't there. I really think it's just because im not a big muscle tatted bad boy. We already get along great and ...
A. 12 December 2012: No I don't think chemistry is something that happens over time. There has to be something from the get go, that makes you want to be with a person. Call it chemistry or attraction - I think it's a must.
Personally, I don't think she really w... (read in full...)
In a troubled relationship should I tell him I had a miscarriage?
Q. First of all, please don't judge my relationship. I'm not asking a question about how to "win his affections" or anything, I'm asking if I should tell him about a miscarriage. My boyfriend and I are in a complicated situation right now. He's abo...
A. 12 December 2012: I think if anything this should be a wake up call to ensure a pregnancy doesn't happen in the near future again. With him "needing" a break this strongly, getting pregnant would not be a good thing for either of you right now.
Would I tell him... (read in full...)
He says he's using porn to remind himself of me
Q. My ex boyfriend and i fell out over his porn use. He claimed he looked at women who look like me to recreate the joy he had from the night before, he was a virgin and claimed it left him buzzing. However he didn't say he often used to it to think ...
A. 12 December 2012: He is your ex, why worry about what he does with porn or anything else for that matter?
... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend, don't want to break-up, but she doesn't make me laugh. And there is another woman in the wings. What should I do?
Q. I have a really great girlfriend. She's beautiful and sweet and kind and I love her. When I first met her I was completely overwhelmed by her and fell in love. We have been together since March. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, and I ...
A. 12 December 2012: I agree with CaringGuy too.
You are turning into a rather unpleasant fellow and honestly, you are not being fair to your GF at all. You are only holding on to her because she has a connection to your child? At least that is how it seems.
YOU ... (read in full...)
My married lover and I have ended our affair, but I want to stay in contact with him. What should I do?
Q. I have posted a question 3 months ago about my married lover cutting all the ties off with me and I suspected him moving on to some other girl. But now I know the reason why he cut all the ties off with me ( we had a dicussion when I come to know ...
A. 12 December 2012: Why the need to stay connected? That certainly will NOT help you move forward or give you reason to work on your own life.... (read in full...)
Why did he end it? I am confused!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been feeling incredibly confused and feel that I need some advice before I can let this go.. Im 29 and the guy in question is 26.. we dated for only 3 weeks. He is quite an introvert and definitely not the player type. The...
A. 12 December 2012: I think you posted this already, but I will give you the same answer as last time..
He is embarrassed. It's a jab in the pride when he couldn't perform.
There is nothing YOU can do. You were willing to give him time and try this a few times... (read in full...)
Is he using me? I just don't feel special anymore.
Q. Been seeing a married man, on and off for 4 years...did try ending it but we soon got back together, I guess we missed each other. We are in contact on a daily basis...emailing for hours on end plus texting by phone. Iv never asked him to leave his ...
A. 12 December 2012: Saying he LOVES you doesn't mean he actually LOVES you. It means that he THINKS that is what you want to hear - and it does seem to make you stick around.
I have to ask, WHY do you think it's OK to be someone dirty little secret? Does it give you... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend left me pregnant, doesn't care to see our child or pay for anything,
Q. My ex boyfriend left me pregnant, we already have a child together and he has two before me. When we broke up the first time, he was on craigslist looking for men and women for sex and i took him back, he was looking at porn also and when we were ...
A. 12 December 2012: Be glad he is out of your life. Go down and talk to Child Support Services and they will help you file for CS.
He sounds like he never wanted to really date seriously or have children, and he really should have used a condom or not have had sex ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks.
Q. I need some outside advice... We've dated for over 2 years now. My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks. Each time, she had what sounds and feels like a reasonable excuse why it happened. First time, she had fallen asle...
A. 12 December 2012: I agree with Yos, let her make the next plans for getting together.... (read in full...)
How can I get closure with husband weeping around about lost young lover?
Q. How to get closure when husband's young EA lover keeps him hanging on? I recently found out my husband, 58, of 30 years, had been having an emotional affair for the last 18 months with a young female friend, 28, who already has a live in boyfrien...
A. 11 December 2012: I would quite honestly kick him out. Christmas or no Christmas. That is just ridiculous behavior for a grown man.
I would also (for YOUR peace and quiet) tell he if she doesn't stop texting/calling your husband you will call HER BF. Normally... (read in full...)
Is there a disease that gets worse when you have sex?
Q. Is there such a disease that gets worse when you have sex and therefore the doctor will be able to tell whether you're having sex or not?...
A. 11 December 2012: Well certain diseases are transmitted sexually so yes. ... (read in full...)
I walked away from a man I cannot be with. Have I made the right choice?
Q. Hello Cupids. I made a decision. It was agonizing and emotionally painful for me. And it took me a long time to get to this place...I would like to know if you think I made the right choice. There is this man who I have known for some time. ...
A. 11 December 2012: No you did the right thing for you. However I think you are putting a lot of the responsibility on him. It's not his fault that he didn't see you as a potential mate/partner.
I think going no contact is the best for you. Because what you two have... (read in full...)
Do I honor his original request for "no contact" and ignore the e-mail he just sent?
Q. Long story short, a really good friend of mine recently confessed his feelings for me. Things would not have worked between us (and I told him this), first off because I'm not attracted to him in that way and more importantly because he was, and I ...
A. 11 December 2012: I would UTTERLY ignore it. YOU can not go back to being friends, you know that HE knows that and specially when he is still be delusional about the TWO of you.
If you have no interest what so ever in him romantically, I would ignore the e-mail. ... (read in full...)
Took DearCupid's advice and now I don't know what to do
Q. I posted a question on this site a few weeks ago, and I took the advice of the helpful aunts and wanted some help out of a situation I've caused for myself. http://www.dea...
A. 11 December 2012: It's OK to flirt and not take it further. And really, there is only one way to get good at stuff - practice!... (read in full...)
I gave him my number, didn't hear from him. He said I gave him the wrong number and now I'm not hearing from him again.
Q. I just started a new job where the building was having major renovations and met one of the guys doing it - he will not be working with me permanently. He is extremely attractive so naturally spent lots of time ogling him! Which seemed to be a ...
A. 11 December 2012: He isn't really interested. He likes the random flirts but that is it - OR he would have asked you out already.
... (read in full...)
My FWB says that he's not cheating on his girlfriend with me because apparently I'm not a service , I'm just a girl who he likes in lust
Q. I am 19 years of age and now is in an affair with a man who is 29 who has a girlfriend he has been dating for 8 years. He says shes his best friend, with her he has a so called life , clean clothes to wear. But he is unsure if he wants/or is going ...
A. 11 December 2012: That has got to be the dumbest excuse I have ever heard, and honestly girl.... if you believe him I fear for your IQ.
I mean REALLY? Seems legit, right? NO.
You know he is cheating on his GF with you, you KNOW you are his dirty secret - the fac... (read in full...)
My sex life with my boyfriend of seven years is unsatisfying.
Q. I am 25 yrs old my boyfriend of 7 years just turned 24 and our sex life sucks we don't have one he sleeps all.day and plays video games all night we don't sleep together anymore when I'm in the mood he tells me I'm a freak to leave him alone he ...
A. 10 December 2012: I assume you two live together?
So he doesn't work? all he does is sleep and play video games and then of course berate you?
Why are you still with him? WHAT are you getting out of that relationship? What is about him that you love? The guy as... (read in full...)
I'm annoying myself with texting my ex and I don't know how to stop!
Q. I've really lost my temper with my ex today and I can't calm down. We split up because my friend found him on a dating site, when I asked him about it he went mad called me a fat ugly c**t and made out set him up. I'd had months of him calling me a ...
A. 10 December 2012: Well, I would look into finding an app for your phone so you can BLOCK your ex. IF that doesn't work, maybe it's time to get a new number.
And yes, YOU can stop yourself from letting him get a rise out of you. No one else can "stop" for you.
... (read in full...)
Do I leave my fiance because I'm not totally happy?
Q. I have been engaged to an amazing guy for a year, i really love him but there are a few things that i really don't like about him, one is that his a momma's boy who can't do anything without his mom's help and another is that he is not thinking ...
A. 10 December 2012: I think you need to stop and think. This new "friend" is taking you out on dates and that is OK by you and your fiance?
You share your relationship troubles with this "friend" and NOT your fiance?
If he is interested in you as more of a friend... (read in full...)
Boyfriend uses porn to "practice". Should I be concerned?
Q. Me and my bf have been together for a little over a year. He occasionally watches porn when im not around. we dont live together...and only see each other about once a week. hes always honest, caring and loving and we have a great relationship. we ...
A. 10 December 2012: I'm with Yos.
Porn has nothing to do with reality. You do not become an instant pastry chef by watching Cake Boss either.
Being a good and attentive lover takes PRACTICE with the one you love.
Now if he was watching INSTRUCTIONAL SEXUAL mov... (read in full...)
I thought it all went great....then why hasn't he called?
Q. I met a guy n have him my number. He called talked on the phone daily. We finally got up yesterday. For 6 hrs. He told me he was having a great time. He even came inside for a drink. We kissed he ttotally was liking our make out. He hasnt called n ...
A. 10 December 2012: Don't call, don't text.
Either he is trying to not look TOO keen or he just isn't interested.
I would give him a few days to call you back. If he doesn't forget his phone number, because if he really was interested, he would call and want to... (read in full...)
What is your position on living together before marriage?
Q. Hello dear Aunts :) and uncles :) What is your position on living together before marriage? Before engagement? What do you think the pros and cons are to each scenario? Some say that while living together, the man gains everything, while the ...
A. 10 December 2012: I personally think living together is the way to go. I don't think marriage is the "ultimate goal" for a woman (or man).
I think when you DO live together you get a much better sense of your partner and who he/she is and how they deal with var... (read in full...)
What's an emotional affair? Am I having one?
Q. Hi! I'm a single guy. And I was told that I'm having an affair with a married woman. It's not what you think were NOT sleeping together. We dated when we were younger, we lost contact after high school and have reunited about a year ago. A female ...
A. 10 December 2012: YouWish pretty much nailed it.
If either of you still have feelings for each other you two are NOT friends.
And her sending "dirty pics" that is NOT what friends do - if she needs a "pick me up" she should SEND those to her husband not her ... (read in full...)
We've only been married six weeks and my husband wants a divorce
Q. Hello Im in a big family trouble now. And I wish I could get some advice from here. ( I dont know hot to begin this question ...) Me and my husband we have knew each other more than a year then we got married 6 weeks ago. And yesterday he t...
A. 10 December 2012: You write:
***( Guess I just gave him too less space or its no big deal if a married man fun a wee bit fun from Internet. )***
I absolutely DISAGREE with you. A married MAN should NOT NEED to look around for his WEE bit of fun with random chic... (read in full...)
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