Would it be better to take anything I can get or is being conscious of compatibility a good thing?
Q. In high school, I was an overweight awkward boy who had no chance of getting with any girl. At the end of junior year I slimmed down a lot, changed my style, started working out to this day and I keep going with it. I had a girlfriend for a bit over ...
A. 8 April 2014: Reading up on social interactions is a good thing, but you NEED to put it to use. WITH real people (aka girls).
You can get companionship from family and friends you DO get something a bit different from a partner. But to think that you are not ... (read in full...)
Would it be better to take anything I can get or is being conscious of compatibility a good thing?
Q. In high school, I was an overweight awkward boy who had no chance of getting with any girl. At the end of junior year I slimmed down a lot, changed my style, started working out to this day and I keep going with it. I had a girlfriend for a bit over ...
A. 8 April 2014: You said (and I quote):
****I'm kind of two-sided when it comes to expressing myself as alone I'm very insecure, but when I'm out with friends/at school I tend to be confident.****
You might THINK you come off as confident, but I don't really... (read in full...)
Is one month too soon to be feeling like I'm falling in love?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a month now. Everything is going great. His awesome, I have no complaints. This has been the best month I've had in a very long time. I know its only been a month but I have very strong feelings for him. I think I could be ...
A. 8 April 2014: I agree with YouWish.
It's a state of mind. It's a GOOD thing though. I would honestly enjoy the buzz, but be aware that it takes ACTUALLY knowing a person to truly LOVE them. You don't KNOW a person after a month.
I too would slow down, just ... (read in full...)
I look so long at the photos all I see are the flaws, is this one of those OCD issues?
Q. This isn't a relationship problem, but more of one that I can't figure out if it's an issue mentally or if it's something other people experience and is normal... I've noticed over the last few months that I'm starting to really grow negative di...
A. 8 April 2014: I don't think it's OCD - If anything it's more likely to be Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) - not OCD.
If STARING at your own pictures makes you feel bad, then why do it? It's like banging your head against a wall, it hurt so the sensible per... (read in full...)
Why do my relationships never work out but then with the next girl the guy dates they work out fine?
Q. Dear Cupid, I keep getting into relationships that burn out at around 6 months. Afterwards, the guy seems to move on quickly and find their ideal match, and is completely different with the new partner to how they were when we were dating.The ...
A. 8 April 2014: My guess is that you hold back BIG time. Which makes them withdraw and it fizzles out in the sand.
Being willing to have sex early on can also make you seem as you aren't really as serious about a relationship. And Most guys enjoy a women who is u... (read in full...)
I really like him -- what should I do?
Q. I really like this boy. He looks at me a lot and we talk sometimes. He has a gf but they never talk. He knows I like him. But what should I do....
A. 8 April 2014: If he has a GF, he should be off limits. How would you feel if you were dating a guy (any guys) and some girl had a crush on YOUR BF?
If you are looking for a BF, he isn't it.... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my boyfriend and his gay friend and the facebook friends list!
Q. What is going on with my boyfriend?. He recently added a gay man that he knows. They haven't been in touch for a long time. This man was going to have an operation to become a woman (I'm not sure if he has had it). My boyfriend told me that his ...
A. 8 April 2014: I think people need to accept that FACE BOOK isn't the gospel.
YOU BF is behaving oddly. HE added a friend who is the past have hit on him and he claim he isn't interested in. However your BF might see this guy as JUST a friend. Gays and tra... (read in full...)
The PMS is so bad it's threatening my relationship
Q. I suffer from pms. Probably pmdd. A week or two before my period I can literally turn into the incredible hulk. Waves if negative emotions that includes outbursts , rages, irritability, sadness, anger, and low tolerancy levels. So I went to my gyn ...
A. 8 April 2014: Talk to your doctor. Don't self medicate with otc stuff. It might help, but it might not BE what you need.
Dropping caffeine, salt, sugar from your diet can help a lot. Exercise can help as well, the endophines can even it moods out a little. ... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone but medical staff in the room during delivery!
Q. I want to be on my own when i give birth in july...i would like my husband anf family waiting but for my own personal reasons i dont want amyone in the room with me (obviousley apart from any midwives or doctors) but i know my husband really wants ...
A. 8 April 2014: I had 12 people in the delivery room with my first child. I was honestly just so focused on getting the whole thing over and done with.
The second time it was just a mid-wife, my husband and me in there, the doctor didn't show til after the baby... (read in full...)
Why is he pushing me to drink alcohol? Is there something weird about his actions?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for a little while now and we met at the club, and i was drinking a little and just being fun. ( no sexual stuff involved.) After that I've noticed that everytime we go out, and alcohol is present he pushes me to drink...
A. 8 April 2014: If you said, no thanks to a second beer or even the first beer, HE should respect that.
Why not ask him? ... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend stands too close
Q. My daughters boyfriend is getting too close for comfort, he seems to stand too close to me from behind...at first I didn't pay any attention but now he does it all the time!! I feel stupid, am I making something out of nothing ...inside I feel ...
A. 8 April 2014: Age gap shouldn't matter. I don't find THAT disgusting personally, I DO find it disgusting that he is trying to "hit" on you when he is dating your daughter.
Just tell him, Hey buddy get out of my personal space. It's actually pretty easy.... (read in full...)
We had one threesome and now my partner wants to do it and I don't!
Q. Hi Ive been dating a guy for a little over a year now. We see each other every weekend and once maybe twice through the week. We have an amazing sex life and we enjoy each others company, we have the same interests and everything is just...
A. 7 April 2014: Don't beat around the bush. TELL him.
And remember JUST because you two tried it once DOESN'T mean you have to try it again.
But also remember that he might not stop trying to push for it, so avoiding it isn't going to do any good, for you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me badly and calls me names when he's drunk
Q. I really need help, I have a boyfriend who treats me bad and calls me names when he gets drunk! He accuses me of cheating and I never have. every thing is fine when he's sober, he says he loves me and wants to marry me, but when he drinks he ...
A. 7 April 2014: What can you do, really?
Walk away seems like the only sane option. Whether you love him or not, the fact that YOU allow to be disrespected because you LOVE him makes you the one with no power in the relationship. You are his verbal punching... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend stands too close
Q. My daughters boyfriend is getting too close for comfort, he seems to stand too close to me from behind...at first I didn't pay any attention but now he does it all the time!! I feel stupid, am I making something out of nothing ...inside I feel ...
A. 7 April 2014: Turn around next time and tell him to please respect your personal space.
Creepy.... (read in full...)
A bridal shower the second time around?
Q. Ok, so if you have been widowed young and get remarried again, is it improper to have a bridal shower if you had one the first time?...
A. 7 April 2014: Why would it be? I can see it being improper if you got married every other year and this was attempt #12... but your second marriage? Why not? It's your FEMALE friends CELEBRATING your upcoming nuptials. Nothing improper about that if you ask me.
... (read in full...)
Still a virgin at 23. Am I damaged goods?
Q. I apologize if this comes off a bit long but I type too much. I am a male virgin, I've never kissed a girl or been on a date. I'm finishing up an associates and looking to get a bachelor's. I'm a geeky type of guy who's field of desire is art (i...
A. 7 April 2014: The reason women stay away is because you reek of inferiority and insecurities.
Not many guys look like Chris Evans, body wise. He puts in (without a doubt) a LOT of hours to look the way he does physically.
No GIRL will expect you to lo... (read in full...)
Men: is this a real belief?
Q. Question for the gentlemen only please :) This doesn't actually relate to me as such, but it's something that I heard and thought was ridiculous. I was talking to my male friend and we were discussing girlfriends and things and I ask...
A. 6 April 2014: That is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Where the heck did he get that notion from?
Grey strap means it's an older bra that has been worn and washed a lot, THAT is all.
What a delusional dude!
If he wasn't kidding, he is ce... (read in full...)
Relationship went from bad to worse after I moved in with my boyfriend, but I don't dare leave him.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years and two and a half months ago, I moved into his one bedroom flat with him. Our relationship has been far from perfect but since I moved in with him, its gone from bad to worse. I agreed to mo...
A. 6 April 2014: You DO need to leave. You little escapism with other men online is NOT OK. You use that to "boost" yourself instead of LEAVING this man who tries to BLACKMAIL you into staying.
Chatting up other men won't FIX your situation and you need to stop ... (read in full...)
I support my boyfriend financially, so why does he still complain?
Q. Why is he always complaining about money and his life? I'm tired:( So my boyfriend had to stop working because his visa expired and he has to wait till he gets his renewed one. He didn't save up while he was working so I've being supporting hi...
A. 6 April 2014: Why?
Because he takes YOU for granted and HE is UNGRATEFUL as get out of town.
I don't even know why you feel you HAVE to do this.
I get that you love him, but what does he do in return for you? Anything besides the moaning?
If his Visa ... (read in full...)
What do people think of Facebook and people who post endless photos of their children?
Q. Good evening everyone, I have a friend on Facebook - I do know her in the "real" world - who is posting endless photos of her children. Her little girl is maybe 5 or 6 years now and her new baby boy is under 1 year. I find it very odd that sh...
A. 6 April 2014: Hide her feeds?
She is entitled to do/say whatever she likes on Facebook. YOU have the choice to ignore it or block her feeds/status. Or ignore it all together. Does it matter what SHE does? To you?
Personally, I think people who do (post exc... (read in full...)
Blend in or be myself? I just want to be accepted!
Q. Dear Reader, I'm getting so caught up in stereotypical-ism :( I'm really loosing who I really am as I don't want to be a 'stereotypical' teenage girl. But, on the other hand , I just want to be excepted and not judged for being different. Doe...
A. 6 April 2014: You will be judged no matter what. That is what TEENS do. Be who you are and who you WANT to be.
Blending in is good if you want to hide yourself, however you will always be a follower, copy-cat, unoriginal. People won't like you for WHO you are ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go?
Q. Hi I’m getting so fed up of my wife. Over the years she’s accused me of affairs, routed thru my phone and laptop, accuses me of the most ludicrous things, shouts and screams unnecessary. I cant talk to her cos I know she’ll raise her voice. ...
A. 6 April 2014: I agree with Caring Guy - CALL and get LEGAL advice.
As for the Visa, who's name is it in? If it's YOURS and from YOUR income cancel it.
Look into council flats/housing for you when you leave.
But be aware that any debt incurred while marr... (read in full...)
You shouldn't hide anything in a relationship, right?
Q. Hey everyone, Me and my boyfriend been dating for like 2 weeks I know it's still short but he thinks it's disrespectful to look through his phone... I don't have a problem with him going through my phone but he claims he doesn't go through my messa...
A. 6 April 2014: 2 weeks and you want to go through his phone? Seriously?
Do you not grasp the concept of PRIVACY?
YOU are being disrespectful to think you somehow OWN him now. That you should have full court access to his whole life.
I have been married a... (read in full...)
I want to use this meeting to get closure
Q. Hi My question is next weekend I will meeting my ex to return his dvds. It’s been 3 months since our breakup and this will be the first time we’ll meet. I am dreading this meet up but another reason to meet up is to get closure. We were togethe...
A. 6 April 2014: It was a 4 months relationship that just didn't work out, it happens. Getting closure is such a trite idea. Because no one really get "closure" after a relationship ends. The only way you REALLY achieve closure is to accept that the relationship ... (read in full...)
Another lecherous lecturer story.
Q. Ok, so i've some how developed a lot of strong feelings for my male lecturer. He's definitely hitting the late 30s even 40s and I'm 21. There's something about him I love, we've talked a lot on a personal level too, we just ... click. I guess t...
A. 6 April 2014: I agree with the first poster. You were given good advice last time and nothing has changed.... (read in full...)
Am I being horrible to ask him to get tested?
Q. What should I do? Why won't he get tested? Am I overreacting? So I haven't being with a guy sexually for 3years now and I've been dating this guy for almost a year now and I want us to start a sexual relationship. He says he hasn't been with any...
A. 6 April 2014: So go with him? It does seem like he IS scared of going. Maybe he can't put it into words why, so I wouldn't pry, I'd just go along.... (read in full...)
It was as if I was with a zombie.
Q. Teenage problem. I recently went on a first trip with my friend's daughter who is almost 14. My daughter is grown up and live in a different city. I went to visit her and took my friend' s daughter who I know from her birth. We have, or had very...
A. 6 April 2014: No 14 year old child NEEDS a phone. SERIOUSLY. My oldest is almost 14 and doesn't have a cell phone. I know that is hardly the norm these days but I think it's ridiculous how people (young and adults) think that they can carry on their lives by ... (read in full...)
I was put in an awkward position.
Q. I was put in an awkward position. I have a friend whom I've known for almost 10 years. About 4 years ago she got with this guy who to be honest I'm not that keen on. She has a child with him.He's very lazy - he doesn't work and doesn't help he...
A. 6 April 2014: What a creep.
So he tries to DICTATE what you should buy HIS wife and then run around and tell everyone what you got? Seriously? That is deranged!
I would avoid this man as much as you can, if you go visit her, go out WITH her alone. He can do... (read in full...)
Is he trying to scare me or does he like me?
Q. Ok, so I'm in a odd situation. I'm a college freshman and I go to a small private college (around 1,000 students). Anyway, for about 3 months now I've been seeing this same guy everywhere, even if I change up my schedule. I see him about 3 times a ...
A. 6 April 2014: I'd try the saying hi first.
If that gets a weird reaction, I'd talk to a school counselor/teacher and ask when you need to do.
His behavior (in my eyes at least) are odd.
If he normally is a social butterfly it is doubly odd that he is "s... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my reputation by going on a dating site? Did I need to defend myself?
Q. Hello everyone I hope you won't be too hard on me. I may have ruined my reputation a little. My sister told me to join a free dating site to sort of distract myself from my boyfriend's absence. So I did and I tried it out even though I was hesitant...
A. 5 April 2014: I agree with Cerberus.
Why would a woman with a BF go on dating sites for shits and grins?
One thing though, putting trashy pictures up attracts men who are looking for sex only and yes, you will be JUDGED by others for those pictures. You di... (read in full...)
Is he trying to scare me or does he like me?
Q. Ok, so I'm in a odd situation. I'm a college freshman and I go to a small private college (around 1,000 students). Anyway, for about 3 months now I've been seeing this same guy everywhere, even if I change up my schedule. I see him about 3 times a ...
A. 5 April 2014: Do you have a Facebook (or other online social site pages) that is view-able for anyone? or have you set your privacy setting?
If you have some and they are PUBLIC - get your privacy setting added.
Specially if you are one of those people who... (read in full...)
Job interview included working for a full day, for no pay!
Q. This isnt a relationship question but im hoping someone can help. My niece who is 19 and currently an office temp wants to get in to hairdressing. She saw that a well known salon in our town was looking to hire trainees so she applied - sent h...
A. 5 April 2014: Personally, it sounds awfully like taking advantage of people for 8 hours.
I get that as a trainee, they hair dresser wants to see what kind of a person you are, one that get on with her chores, duties or one that doesn't.
But basically asking... (read in full...)
How can I respond to his declaration of love when we're just friends....
Q. I'm so confused with this guy!? I've been working with this guy in the past 3 months. We get along very well and started chatting immediately. There is chemistry although recently when it's just the two of us it feels a bit nerve wracking and the...
A. 5 April 2014: Eh, I think it's all a bit too much and too fast.
4 months of chatting at work here and there and he declares his love, yet sit and SULKS at his desk when everyone else celebrate YOUR birthday? You don't find that odd?
I would tread cautiously... (read in full...)
Am I being horrible to ask him to get tested?
Q. What should I do? Why won't he get tested? Am I overreacting? So I haven't being with a guy sexually for 3years now and I've been dating this guy for almost a year now and I want us to start a sexual relationship. He says he hasn't been with any...
A. 5 April 2014: No you are NOT being horrible, you are being SMART.
It's not like you are saying HE is full of STD's - you are just saying you want you BOTH to test so there will be no surprises.
He could have several STD's that doesn't affect him, but would a... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pretending to be separated from his wife so they can collect additional benefits?
Q. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago. He'd separated from his wife a year before we met but they weren't divorced yet. He'd managed to get his own council flat so I took that as proof that he was single. I now start to wonder if they are just pretending ...
A. 4 April 2014: So you want to have a baby wit ha man who is still LEGALLY married? Who have NO intentions of divorcing her.
You obviously don't trust him any further then you can throw him (otherwise why would you go through his phone?)
You are setting your... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend tell me he wants a baby when he doesn't even want to live with me?
Q. My boyfriend told me in January that he wants a baby. I was delighted and started eating a healthy diet and looking for a job in his area as I assumed we would of course be moving in together. I never discussed that stuff with him at the time tho...
A. 4 April 2014: Take a little break from all this and from dating. Going out and looking for a new BF, is not in your best interest. Because you want to find a new one, to punish your ex and in a weird way yourself.
Auntie SVC is right.
I'd say give yoursel... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pretending to be separated from his wife so they can collect additional benefits?
Q. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago. He'd separated from his wife a year before we met but they weren't divorced yet. He'd managed to get his own council flat so I took that as proof that he was single. I now start to wonder if they are just pretending ...
A. 4 April 2014: I think you are wasting your time with a man who is WAY to entangled in his wife.
I don't know what "rights" a separated man/woman are entitled to in the UK, but if THEY are doing this for some kind of scam, then maybe he has his wife convince... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend tell me he wants a baby when he doesn't even want to live with me?
Q. My boyfriend told me in January that he wants a baby. I was delighted and started eating a healthy diet and looking for a job in his area as I assumed we would of course be moving in together. I never discussed that stuff with him at the time tho...
A. 4 April 2014: OK, you did the right thing you QUESTIONED his "resolve". However, why do you still want to date a married man? YES he might be "separated" from her but he is IN the eyes of the law STILL married.
He LIKED to idea of you having a baby, but for ... (read in full...)
How do I end this relationship I regret getting into?
Q. Hey, so, about 4 weeks ago I got into a relationship with this guy. We met on a dating website months after my messy breakup with my last boyfriend, and I wanted to move on. This guy was sweet, but I don't think that he and I have ANY chemistry. ...
A. 4 April 2014: Dragging it out won't make his depression go away. Faking it will not make you feel better either.
End and do it in a nice way. Do NOT for goodness sake offer friendship to him.
Breaking up with someone is not easy, but sometimes it's w... (read in full...)
I thought getting married would fix her insecurities, but she is still acting abnormal and crazy on a daily basis. Do I let her file for divorce or stay and try to work it out?
Q. Its been a while agony aunts since I wrote in. Same or similar story, same girl. This time I really did it though. I went and married her on December 21st, 2013. Didn't take the advice, I tried, unplugged for a whopping 4 weeks, thought I was doing ...
A. 4 April 2014: So you DID live together and it was dysfunctional and abusive, so you solution is to marry her?
Then I HOPE for your sake (and for that of your child) that you IMMEDIATELY seek some kind of counseling.
We here at DC can give all the well mea... (read in full...)
This phobia is ruining my life!
Q. Seeing all of these comments about sickness phobia makes me feel a bit better it isn't just me. I struggle every day, If I try new food I have to try it in the morning because otherwise I wont sleep at night worrying I will be ill! I have only ever ...
A. 4 April 2014: CBT help give you tools to work on yourself. I was diagnosed with eating disorder and OCD in my late teens and CBT was without a doubt the best thing for me.
My OCD rituals do not control me to the extend that I will have an anxiety attack i... (read in full...)
I made a mistake. Now how do I choose between my pregnant wife and unborn child, and the love of my life?
Q. Between 2006 to 2009, I was dating this amazing and wonderful girl, due to the long distance of our relationship, she suggested we take a break from our relationship to finish our education, I was so hurt but I agreed. During this period, an old ...
A. 4 April 2014: I can't say it better then Auntie YouWish.
I feel sorry for your poor wife. She must feel like a TOTAL moron for having married a guy who didn't give a flying fart about her. Well, he obviously liked to have SEX with her and CREATE a child.
... (read in full...)
I thought getting married would fix her insecurities, but she is still acting abnormal and crazy on a daily basis. Do I let her file for divorce or stay and try to work it out?
Q. Its been a while agony aunts since I wrote in. Same or similar story, same girl. This time I really did it though. I went and married her on December 21st, 2013. Didn't take the advice, I tried, unplugged for a whopping 4 weeks, thought I was doing ...
A. 4 April 2014: Wow, you REALLY stepped on your dick (sorry to sounds crude here, but BOY.... WHAT were you thinking?)
Since when does a ring on the finger, some vows and spending BIG money on a girl, change her attitude 180 degrees? You shouldn't have married ... (read in full...)
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