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Is cell phone snooping okay?

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2014) 12 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2014)
A male United States age , *rollf writes:

Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2014):

I don't think there's a yes or no answer to this one.

If you've got suspicions of cheating or wrong-doing then I think it's fair enough. If your partner's behaviour has changed or they're being very protective of their phone, then I'd say it's ok to check.

If you have trust issues and always check up on your partner, if they've given you no reason to suspect then I would say no it isn't ok.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (31 May 2014):

llifton agony auntAbsolutely not. Total invasion of privacy, as well as a lack of trust. Deal-breaker for me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2014):

No, its not okay, its wrong. However I can agree with the poster that said if you are hiding your phone or taking it with you everywhere and acting sneaky, then I can understand why one would snoop. If they find something, shame on them for snooping, but shame on you for violating trust (Not that YOU did, just in general) I will admittedly say I have done it and found things that caused me to leave the relationship. So, I accept what I did as wrong, but in my case dont regret it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2014):

Never would this be okay.

It means you don't trust your partner (and a stable relationship should be built on trust) and it is an invasion of privacy (what if he has a private/embarrassing secret he doesn't want you to know about? Or a friend/relation of his does?)

Snooping will only lead to you getting more and more worked up, and if he catches you than he will lose trust in you too!

If you have a mature relationship then if you are bothered about something you should talk to him first. Or if he is acting shady, ask him to show you his phone yourself (although it shouldn't have to come down to this)

Hope this was helpful.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (30 May 2014):

chigirl agony auntNo, that's not okay, and I would stop dating that person.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (30 May 2014):

Anonymous 123 agony auntIts not OK but its something that most of us have done accidentally on purpose at some point of time or the other.

You have to define the context and be more specific. Who snooped? Was it you or your partner? Is there a history of cheating involved? Are there trust issues in your relationship?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 May 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntnot unless you want them to

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2014):

boo22 agony auntI am sure this opinion won't go down well, but i think if your partner is acting shady round their phone, then somethings up. If they take it with them everywhere they walk, even to the bathroom and keep it in their pockets at night etc... you get the picture don't you?

Then i say YES SNOOP!!

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (30 May 2014):

Ciar agony auntDefinitely NOT okay. It is so NOT OKAY that if this is someone you've only recently begun dating I would recommend you dump them on the spot.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 May 2014):

Honeypie agony auntNo, I don't think it's OK either.

I think it show a lack of self-control, trust issues and respect for the other person and his/her's privacy.

ONE thing is to SHARE a text conversation with your partner or friend but for them to go through your phone, no.

And ONE thing is IF you have been "caught" before in doing things you shouldn't behind your partner's back and one of the "stipulations" in re-building trust is showing that you are totally transparent (as in you have nothing to hide, go ahead and look).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2014):

No it isn't

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntNo it shows a lack of trust, and any relationship needs to based on trust, and also shows a lack of respect for privacy.

Mark

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