He moved in and I feel trapped! How do I handle this situation?
Q. My bf and I started dating about 4 months ago. We were in a LDR where we would see each other one weekend a month (we had a previous long distance friendship for about a year). One month ago he came to visit me... and since he has gotten a job in ...
A. 29 May 2015: Is life easier for you now? When not sharing a place with him?
If the answer is yes, then GOOD.
And good for you to FIND your voice and tell him your concerns.
Good luck... (read in full...)
How do you ask your boyfriend, who is a recent IV drug user, to get tested?
Q. How do you ask your boyfriend, who is a recent IV drug user, to get tested? We are reaching the point in our relationship where we are going to be taking things to the next level physically, but I am terrified of putting myself at risk for StDs...
A. 14 October 2014: Well, you suggest to him that BEFORE you two get intimate you BOTH get a full STD + HIV panel done.
Getting yourself tested is a smart thing for several reasons, YOU have a sexual past, HE has a sexual past. And you are both old enough to know tha... (read in full...)
Should I help my friend financially for divorce or counseling?
Q. I have longtime female friend. I'm separated and in the middle of the divorce process. She's married, very unhappily. We talk often and get together every now and then for dinner. She told me she was jealous I'm getting out of my marriage saying she ...
A. 13 October 2014: You know if they don't have kids under 18 or own a house, a divorce can be less than $300. If they CAN NOT save that money up, how do they live?
It can be done without a lawyer (especially) if they share no property or debt.
All she has t... (read in full...)
Was it the drink or is he really a snob?
Q. Hi, I'm a bit confused by some actions of my boyfriend, we were visiting his family on the weekend, we all had a nice dinner a few drinks, and then went upto bed. We were having chit chat before sleep, and he said something like all Londoners ar...
A. 13 October 2014: I think if anything that HE feels inferior. And talking these kind of "truths" (to him), shows you a bit of those insecurities of his.
He knows you went to a better school, he knows that you can not stereotype people as easily as he does, but he s... (read in full...)
If we did get together I'd be paranoid that he'd cheat on me the way he cheated with me
Q. Over the last few months I've been speaking to someone I used to work with and we've been out a few times. He has a girlfriend so we've always made a point of saying we are only friends. Then when we were out with a group of mutual friends we ended ...
A. 13 October 2014: Well, you fears are pretty natural and there are no guarantees that he will be faithful to you, why should he?
But this is what happens when YOU decide to sleep with a guy who isn't single. Give it a year or maybe less.. and you might be in his G... (read in full...)
I've lost my sex drive and I'm starting to resent him
Q. My sex drive has completely disappeared but my boyfriend still initiates sex every time I see him. I usually end up having sex (or at least using my mouth or hands) because I feel so awful for not wanting to, but I'm really starting to resent it. I ...
A. 13 October 2014: Well honey, I can TELL you why your libido is so low. I don't think it's your BC at all.
I think it's having had sex for YEARS with a guy who ISN'T taking his time to get you off. What a selfish lover. NO wonder you just don't FEEL like sex. Her... (read in full...)
Torn between my ex husband and the other guy. What should I do?
Q. I am torn between my ex husband and my new guy. Here is the story, My life overal was not too bad but I have been unhappy from some issues which my ex wouldn't do anything about it. The main issue was him being over passive and his family over ...
A. 13 October 2014: Whatever caused the marriage to end was never really resolved. YOU chose to cheat over divorce. YOU chose to cheat over getting counseling/help to fix the issue. YOU assumed it was your ex-husband job to "magically" fix the issue. And that is what ... (read in full...)
Seven years?? Am I wasting my time waiting for my married lover to leave his wife and children?
Q. I have left my husband but I have been involved with a married man for 7 years.I said I wanted a proper relationship but he said he can't leave his kids who are 15 and 17. We haven't really talked about our future it's like he lives for today yet ...
A. 12 October 2014: You may not even consider this, but what are you teaching you daughter in all of this?
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he's not sexually attracted to me because I put to much pressure on him
Q. I'm 23 and my bf who is 27 won't have sex or even make out with me. we were both each other's first, and we've been going out for almost 2 1/2 years. The few times that we have "had sex" were only mins long because something would interrupt us and ...
A. 12 October 2014: It sounds to me like he is USING you "pressuring" him as an excuse for not really wanting sex with you.
Sorry, I think you two have very different sex-drives.
A guy at 27 who doesn't WANT to have sex with his GF? Who isn't happy that his G... (read in full...)
He's in a relationship. I think he and I may have a connection. How can I say it without sounding pushy or desperate?
Q. I have known this guy for about a year now. We met through working with a service organization and have been friends ever since. I like him and think there might be a connection . I have been wanting to tell him and see where it leads. However,...
A. 12 October 2014: I'm going to be blunt here.
DONT be stupid.
HE already has a GF, so you confessing how you feel is not going to change how he feels about HER.
IF he had wanted to stay single or DATE you.... HE wouldn't be DATING her.
Why wait till... (read in full...)
Does sex always result in soreness for the next day or two?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I've been with my BF for about a year, and things are going pretty well :) I do have one issue though…if we have sex for a long time (say, 30 minutes or even an hour), I will be VERY sore the next day, and sometimes it l...
A. 12 October 2014: I's not because he is circumcised. It honestly sounds more like YOU are probably excited/wet before sex OR your BF is rough?
Besides 30 min-1 hours worth of friction CAN leave anyone sore.
Are you two using condoms? Because it can be the type ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband continue to destroy me like this? What do I do?
Q. Please please help me, im so hurt, demoralised and depressed, i really am breaking down. Ok, so, we've hardly spoken for 4 weeks now. I only speak in reply to him when i am spoken to, that way, he cant accuse me of prying or accusing him!! After 20...
A. 12 October 2014: My advice,
Hire a lawyer.
He can't hide all your shared assets from them.
... (read in full...)
Seven years?? Am I wasting my time waiting for my married lover to leave his wife and children?
Q. I have left my husband but I have been involved with a married man for 7 years.I said I wanted a proper relationship but he said he can't leave his kids who are 15 and 17. We haven't really talked about our future it's like he lives for today yet ...
A. 12 October 2014: Yes, You will be old and grey with married "boyfriend" in no time.
Unless HIS wife leaves him, he isn't going anywhere. He get the whole family thing with his WIFE and KIDS. He gets the "fling" with you.
Why on Earth did you think it was a g... (read in full...)
Why does he always say such horrible things to me?
Q. Why does he always say such horrible things to me:( So my bf hasn't been working for 9months now and I've been supporting him with money for food. I don't think he's trying hard enough to finding a job but says we should get married. and...
A. 11 October 2014: I agree with Tisha.
You STICK around for this treatment, you STAY with him even though he really has NOTHING to offer. He isn't helping with bills, food, roof over your heads, he isn't supportive of you and he is making YOU think that YOU are in t... (read in full...)
I'm looking for some insight. Why does he stay in his relationship if he is not fully satisfied?
Q. I am friends with a guy with whom I have a strong attraction. He feels the same but the problem is that he is already in a relationship for more than 7 years. He confesses that sometimes he gets bored and needs something new in his life now and ...
A. 10 October 2014: Block him, delete his number.
He was hoping you liked him "enough" that he could MANIPULATE you into a FWB thing. Because he CAN NOT really have a "relationship" with you, while he is still with his GF - at least you seem smart enough to see the ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he wants to see me still if he doesn't want a proper relationship.
Q. Hi, I've been dating a guy on/off for over a year. The reason we ever go off is because he doesn't commit to calling me his girlfriend. Every time I try to move on he continually texts me asking to see me. I don't understand why he wants to see ...
A. 10 October 2014: Like Cindy, so simply put it, if he can get you to stick around without HIM having to commit... he gets the whole GirlFriend Experience without having to SACRIFICE his independence and "freedom". He can still call himself single and if he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Going from sex partners to friends, back to potential sex partners? What's her deal?
Q. I have a female friend. Her and I have had sex together in the past, maybe 6 months ago. We had sex on multiple occasions. She is actually straight, and I a lesbian. One major reason, I believe, as to why we don't have sex anymore is because we no ...
A. 10 October 2014: Well, for one, she isn't straight. She is (at minimum) bi sexual or bi-curious.
I think she hasn't made up her mind as to what "label" she wants to stick on herself (if any) and thus all the conflicting messages.
I think she might want some ... (read in full...)
Am I holding on to this marriage for nothing?
Q. I was 8 months pregnant with our third child when I found out my husband was cheating on me. We reconciled I though. After I had our daughter on his birthday 2 weeks later he left me and moved in with her ( He did support us financially the whole ...
A. 10 October 2014: "Am I holding on for nothing?"
Yes, him living somewhere else and NOt engaging in his FAMILY and not wanting to try and fix means THIS is a good as it gets. And honestly, it's not good for either of you.
Go and file, rip that band aid off.... (read in full...)
I can't get over my girlfriend not being a virgin!
Q. Hi, I have a serious problem that I don't know how to adress. Me and my girlfriend have known each other since we were in our teens. It's been about 8 years now that we've been friends. We've always gotten along great, been best friends and fel...
A. 10 October 2014: First of all your relationship sounds kind of unstable as it is. With her doing the vanishing act every now and then when it PLEASES her.
Secondly, YOU as a woman should know that the "virginity" of a woman means nothing. It's a man made social c... (read in full...)
Is my request for her not to speak to him unreasonable?
Q. Ok. a few months back i posted a thread where my girlfriend had went to stay with her male best friend for a while and he'd declared his love for her etc etc she never told me about him telling her he loved her until a few weeks after it happene...
A. 10 October 2014: I'm sorry she is so full of it. She is with you because YOU are paying HER way? through medical school, my bet is, as soon as she is done.. she will be DONE with you too.
Sorry, this would not work for me. When you tell her she is lying and it n... (read in full...)
He's enlisting in the Air Force and wants to get married and try for a baby before he leaves!
Q. Dear Cupid, I know it's been awhile since I last wrote and a lot has happened in that time I'm with someone new for starters and we've been together for a year with no breaking up or taking a break. I know I've said it before but with...
A. 10 October 2014: I had this long post written out on the subject and the site ate it.. so this will be a shorter version.
1. getting married is not a bad idea overall, but WHY the big hurry? He will be gone for a good 3-8 months in basic training and then tech tra... (read in full...)
He spends money on stupid stuff!
Q. My bf/father of my baby and I are are currently in a LDR. He is working a lot trying to get back on his feet so we can get a place together and be a family again. I've been very supportive bc he says he wants to go back to school so i don't push for ...
A. 10 October 2014: $20 is two packages of diapers. Which in turn "might" be enough diapers for a newborn to last 1 week (maybe a little less).
So for him to say.. it's not a lot.. shows JUST how little he knows about the cost of a child.
With that said, if th... (read in full...)
I'm looking for some insight. Why does he stay in his relationship if he is not fully satisfied?
Q. I am friends with a guy with whom I have a strong attraction. He feels the same but the problem is that he is already in a relationship for more than 7 years. He confesses that sometimes he gets bored and needs something new in his life now and ...
A. 10 October 2014: He is staying because he gets something OUT of that relationship. Either a sense of security (financially, sexually and/or emotionally) or familiarity. He's been with her so long she feel like an extension of himself.
By making friends with you... (read in full...)
Is she using me, or is she really interested??
Q. I am usually i'm good at telling if the other half likes me or not. I have been seeing this girl since August. We have been out 10 times or so, so far, mainly just dinner or cinema. She has been to mine once and we just watched a movie, we ...
A. 10 October 2014: I think Janniepeg is partly right.
She is bring her sister and sister's BF to the movies to keep you from initiating touch. She didn't respond positively to your last attempt ( the whole crossed arms may indicate anxiety which is either driven b... (read in full...)
I've been thinking about unfriending these awful former co-workers on social media, except for one. Any advice?
Q. I used to work in a not so nice place. The boss' where horrivle to staff, the working conditions were poor and the staff as lovely as they seemed the vast majority where extremely bitchy. I worked predominately with 2 other girls. They were lovely...
A. 10 October 2014: Unfriend them and never look back, honey. Don't keep toxic people around in your life.
They are nasty people and they won't care.
Let em go!
Enjoy life!... (read in full...)
My dad told my fiancé he can cheat on me!
Q. I don't know what to think of my dad anymore. my fiance works for him, and my dad tells him dont tell my wife or daughter but if my wife gains anymore weight i wont be attracted to her and tell her im gonna sleep with other woman id understand if ...
A. 10 October 2014: I would talk to your dad, because that is some rather crappy advice he is dealing out to his "son-in-law".
And I would tell the fiance that you DO not agree. Maybe this is actually the PERFECT set up for you and your fiance to talk boundari... (read in full...)
Is it bad to go on cam sites?
Q. Hey all, I'm a 21 year old Male In the last two year or so, I have been going on cam sites and looking at girls on and off. i used to pay money for it but stopped that about a year ago. I feel bad every-time I do it because within me I know I'm expl...
A. 10 October 2014: I think it's a little pervy to be honest, but nothing major, what I think is a lot less important compared to what YOU think.
Are you exploiting innocent girls? I think that comes down to what sites you are on, but like CMMP said, you are more exp... (read in full...)
Why did she marry me if she had no attraction for me?
Q. Wife suddenly tells me she has no attraction towards me... According to her this has happened 2 years ago. She stayed on to hope things will improve. I am devastated. She never really pull up major quarrels with me till she drop this bomb ...
A. 9 October 2014: She might have felt YOU would be a good partner and dad, and that she OVER time would grow love you, it just didn't happen.
DO you want to try the marriage counseling before tossing in the towel?
If you do, go for it. BE open and try.
If y... (read in full...)
He moved in and I feel trapped! How do I handle this situation?
Q. My bf and I started dating about 4 months ago. We were in a LDR where we would see each other one weekend a month (we had a previous long distance friendship for about a year). One month ago he came to visit me... and since he has gotten a job in ...
A. 9 October 2014: Ask him to find a place of his own. That this is TOO soon and too FAST for you. NOTHING wrong in that. Then either break up or go back to actually dating each other.
4 months (and a LDR to boot) is WAY to fast and WAY too soon to be living t... (read in full...)
Am I too shy? Am I not forward enough? What am I doing wrong?
Q. I feel a bit pathetic writing to an agony aunt site but i feel like nobody understands how i'm feeling. I've been single for 5 years now and i feel like i'll never have another relationship. The last guy i was involved with ended in disaster. I f...
A. 9 October 2014: She was EASY to get into bed, he didn't HAVE to put forth an effort whereas you might have seemed more standoffish because you are shy.
Honestly, I think him chasing the "easier" girl means he isn't for you.
If he had wanted MORE then sex fr... (read in full...)
He only lasts 3 minutes in bed so what did he do for 30 minutes with the prostitutes?
Q. I'm still suffering emotionally and mentally in finding out about my husband going to prostitutes across 2 years , he was visiting a brothel , he says he was going about 1 month and says we had problems , then he says that it's because he was ...
A. 9 October 2014: Just eww.... My husband would be out on his ear if he went to prostituted and then tried to get in my bed. GROSS. I wouldn't WANT him to touch me with a 50 foot pole, not for 3 minutes or 30.
First of all YOU and HE needs to get a STD panel do... (read in full...)
Are my doubts unfounded? He wanted to fly to Australia to visit a female friend!
Q. A few months ago my bf and I argued over him wanting to travel to Australia to visit a female friend. I felt extremely uncomfortable because 1) he refused to tell me what they would be doing there 2) I have never met this girl before 3) he wa...
A. 9 October 2014: He has checked out of the relationship and is pursuing what HE wants. He wants to spread his wings. And most of all he wants to spread them over the Southern hemisphere...
Has HE met her before? Or did he met her online somehow? Now if they kno... (read in full...)
He completely refuses to call me pet names!
Q. My boyfriend refuses to call me pet names. I feel so unloved. Especially after sex. Does it mean he does not love me? I only asked him to do that after we make love. Not all the time but he refused. I feel put off having sex with him. Being ...
A. 9 October 2014: I have to say I agree with Cindy.
Pet names should be the LEAST of your concerns.
My husband RARELY call me any pet names (other than momma) which is understandable as I am the mom of out children.. but honey, baby, boo, whatever - would... (read in full...)
She's exactly my type and we have had fun talking about stuff and joking around, but I can't help feeling like she's not all that into it. What do I do?
Q. I recently moved to a nee city and a new country. Since I don't know many people here, I decided to give online dating a try. I didn't have a lot of success at first but about 10 days ago I came across the profile of an absolutely gorgeous girl who ...
A. 9 October 2014: I would just ask her out. Spending time online and text/chatting doesn't get anyone anywhere real or fast. Because it's still "fantasy" - it's not a real live and flesh person (yet) till you met in person.
Since she is visiting family, maybe as... (read in full...)
My girlfriend runs hot and cold. We are engaged but she has cut down the time we spend together!
Q. hi im a gay woman in my 30s and engaged to my girlfriend who i dont live with but i do stay most nights and go home a couple of nights a week because she did want space and not to live together until were married which is all fair enough. i know all ...
A. 9 October 2014: I think she feels smothered. I know I would. It's just too much.
Give her time during the day to MISS you and to LOOK forward to seeing you at the end of the day. Hanging out at her job is NOT OK, because she is there to work. To be professi... (read in full...)
Why would a guy avoid saying your name?
Q. I've known this guy for a long time through friends, and I've noticed he never, or rarely, says my name. In a group setting he always refers to me in a group as "she", rather than my name. He'll say things like "what is SHE doing?", "I think it's ...
A. 9 October 2014: I would assume he just doesn't like you.( If I were in that situation.) And here is the deal.
YOU may be a nice person, and people in general like you, and in general you don't annoy anyone, but this guy... you do. YOU (I'm sure) don't like E... (read in full...)
I don't think I am that much in love with him. Is it key to a happy marriage to be absolutely in love with your future spouse?
Q. The story of my life is that never ever a man who I was in love with and adored was in love with me back. Every time something starts and I feel incredibly in love, after awhile an interest in me fades. My boyfriend is a very nice man. He has...
A. 9 October 2014: Don't EVER settle. It's not fair on you, and mostly.. not fair on him.
And PLEASE read and take to heart WiseOwlE lovely post, he is spot on.
I do think it's rather cold to think marriage with a guy you do not love, adore, lust after, crave....... (read in full...)
Does this suppressing of feelings really work? Will she just eventually forget all about me?
Q. Does suppressing your feelings after a breakup really work? My ex of two years and I split up a few weeks back and since then, it has seemed she doesn't care at all. I seem to be the only one having a hard time. According to her, we are just coping ...
A. 9 October 2014: Sounds like she is better at compartmentalizing the you are. Some people are, some are not.
She might also have "left" the relationship (at least in her mind) a long while before the actual break up. So she has had more time to process it. And ... (read in full...)
I've discovered what he and his mother think about me and it's very hurtful! I don't know what to do next!
Q. My bf of 4yrs and I are currently on a sort of "break". It has been about a month now. The reason for the break is something very minor and working towards repairing our relationship. Today I logged into my other laptop and I realised that he...
A. 8 October 2014: Well, if you don't want to know what people think/feel about you, don't snoop.
I think this is a kind of Karma, yet I can imagine how hurtful it must be.
Now the MOM could be trash-talking you to boost him up or she is a total faker. And IF he... (read in full...)
Am I putting my own future first or am I being selfish? How can I improve?
Q. This has been happening for a long time now, and I always attributed it to a lack of confidence and trying to constantly please other people. I can be a really confident/outgoing person when I want to be, but recently, I have begun to notice things ...
A. 8 October 2014: "Is this me putting my own future first and waiting to become the person that I want to be? - Or I just being really egotistical and selfish to those around me?"
I think it's a bit of both. And I think for someone your age-group it's not rea... (read in full...)
Should I ask her if she wants a relationship, or just be friends?
Q. I'm divorced for 5 years. I'm looking for a relationship. I have a friend, a woman I've known for 15 years. I met her when our kids were going to school together. We've been dating, going out to dinner having drinks for about a year now, but she ...
A. 8 October 2014: If you have been dating or going out as companions. I don't see asking her if she wants more is "pushing" her. I would say she ought to know after a whole year if she wants to be more than friends or not.
If you are interested n more, why not ask ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends more time with his ex than he does with me!
Q. My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with his ex girlfriend. This has been going on since they split up a year ago. I tried to be tolerant of the situation as I didn't want to control his life. I did however bring it up with him once an...
A. 7 October 2014: Yes, to what Auntie Bim Bim said.
You can't "make" either of them stop this. Unless they SHARE a child together there is NO real reason for her to be stopping by 2-3 times a week, except for then starting something back up.
He called you insec... (read in full...)
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