My boyfriend spends more time with his ex than he does with me!
Q. My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with his ex girlfriend. This has been going on since they split up a year ago. I tried to be tolerant of the situation as I didn't want to control his life. I did however bring it up with him once an...
A. 7 October 2014: Yes, to what Auntie Bim Bim said.
You can't "make" either of them stop this. Unless they SHARE a child together there is NO real reason for her to be stopping by 2-3 times a week, except for then starting something back up.
He called you insec... (read in full...)
Please stop this ride, I want to get off!
Q. Dear cupid,I still find myself still crushing over a guy I met years ago.We talk on and off from time to time.I still keep in contact with his family even though we aren't together.This man keeps sending me on a emotional ride and I really don't ...
A. 7 October 2014: If this guy is married - wish him well and CUT the contact. He ISN'T the one sending you on the roller coaster ride, YOU stepped into the cart yourself, and by "playing" along (that means keeping communications between you open) you are just as ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem, and should I confront my husband about it? Am suspicions that he's cheating, but have no proof.
Q. A few months ago I posted about my husband coming home from a branch office visit for day (the branch was closing down) and I saw long scratch marks down his arms and small bruises around his wrists. They scabbed over and the marks were there for ...
A. 7 October 2014: You are already out of the marriage in your mind, you are just looking for "justification" to leave. You don't trust him and you are so obsessed with "spying" and "catching" him that you are turning into very insecure person. ANYTHING he says or ... (read in full...)
Disappointed that I had a lesser role at wedding of my cousin. Should I tell the bride how disappointed I was?
Q. I can't help but feel a bit hurt over my cousin giving a more important role at her wedding and more thanks/attention in general to her best friend. My cousin made her best friend her maid of honor, and me her matron of honour. I thought it was s...
A. 7 October 2014: I think you're being a drama queen.
This isn't about blood. It's pretty NORMAL that your Maid of honor is your BEST friend. Just like the BEST man is the grooms best buddy, and not a male family member.
However, IF you did most of the planning ... (read in full...)
Why is this guy's behavior so odd? Have I done anything wrong?
Q. There is a guy at work who behaves very odd around me. I've noticed that when I'm either speaking or just listening to a conversation in a group, he will stand off to the side, like he's avoiding the group. When I leave to take care of something he ...
A. 7 October 2014: Why wold you assume that YOU have done anything WRONG? For whatever reason he is avoiding you. Doesn't mean YOU DID something wrong, maybe the guy is shy or not comfortable around women, or strangers (if you're fairly new) or he is just an oddball. ... (read in full...)
I snooped ... and I think he's cheated on me!
Q. I know what I did is bad, but I think what I found is worse... I snooped on my boyfriend's facebook account and found him talking to an ex flame which he told me they're just friends now... I would like a stranger's opinion on whether these...
A. 7 October 2014: You didn't snoop by mistake. You snooped because somethings weren't adding up and you don't trust him.
And guess what? You were right. He ISN'T trustworthy.
When people feel the NEED to go through their partners phone/FB/e-mail it's because the... (read in full...)
Does it make me a bad wife to exclude my husband from my social life and travelings?
Q. Doesn't make a bad wife that I don't want to travel with my husband anymore, and more...I don't really want to involve Him in my socialiZing anymore also. We are married for 23 years. I married very very young right after high school, had a ch...
A. 7 October 2014: My husband hates to travel. If he was to choose we would stay put and wait for people to come visit. I like to explore and see new places and re-visit olds ones.
We took the kids to a huge interactive museum a while back - and after 2 hours he... (read in full...)
Dated a guy who gave me HIV yet he's not supportive to me. What are my options?
Q. I've been talking to this guy since early summer. He was unaware he was HiV. We had sex and I was given the HIV virus. It has been a hard depressing Time for me. He is the only one that knows I'm postive. To me he is not showing no support t...
A. 6 October 2014: I'm so sorry you are in this situation. And I hope you are being PROACTIVE about your medical treatment. You can live a long and healthy life with HIV+ IF you get on the treatment plan asap.
I get that you don't want to put others at risk, I ... (read in full...)
My bridesmaid told me she is a recovering alcoholic! How do I deal with this when I know there will be drinking at the wedding?
Q. I'm getting married next year and I asked one of friends who I have known since college to be a bridesmaid. She had said yes but then proceeded to tell me about being a newly recovering alcoholic. I never knew that she had problems with alcohol or ...
A. 6 October 2014: Ask HER if she can handle it. Im my book I think it's LOVELY to think about her wellbeing, but this is also your fiance and your wedding.
I would presume she understand that people often drink at weddings.
TALK to her.... (read in full...)
My friend's dad is cheating and his children don't know what to do!
Q. My best friend is having a real life crisis! Any help would be really appreciated. Her brother was helping their dad link his emails to his phone. When doing this he found that their dad has a profile on a sex website. (Where people message ea...
A. 6 October 2014: Wanting to cheat (as in signing up) and actually cheating is not always the one and the same.
He might be unhappy in his marriage and fantasize about a fling. And he might be a full fledged cheater.
I would NOT get involved with their famil... (read in full...)
Will the Doctor respect my privacy or is it likely that the Doctor will tell my Mom that I'm not a virgin?
Q. I'm 17 and my bf and I got carried away in the moment and so three days ago I lost my virginity. My mom is making me go to the doctor for a yeast infection. I know they will ask if I have had sex without my mom in there but can they tell her I'm ...
A. 6 October 2014: No the doctor can't tell her unless you want her to know. Just ask her to wait in the waiting room you want to go in alone. You are 17 and she doesn't HAVE to go with with you.
It could be UTI and not a yeast infection so you REALLY need to see t... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and pregnant, yet my Bf is denying that the baby is his. What can I say to my parents?
Q. I'm 21 and pregnant and my boyfriend is denying that the child is his child. Now I'm stressed. I don't know what to tell my parents please help....
A. 6 October 2014: He can deny it, but if HE is the father a DNA test will prove it.
And whether he denies it or not you will HAVE to tell your parents and figure out your next move.... (read in full...)
Is there something hypocritical about this relationship?
Q. How should I understand this situation? History of a relationship 1. Been dating someone for 2 years. 2. We have had some arguments and she says we are through. Has been like 4 times and we don't speak for a few weeks then everything goes back to ...
A. 6 October 2014: So, with all this drama.. WHAT do you get out of the relationship?
HER issues are HERS, you can go blind tomorrow and never look at another girl and she would STILL have those issues.
SHE is the only one who can "fix" them. You can't do it FOR ... (read in full...)
He's a childhood friend. Yet due to his Gf's request he is now snubbing me. How do I handle this?
Q. I know this might seem trivial, but this has been bugging me. A childhood friend of mine has just randomly started ignoring me. We were such good friends in high school, and although we fancied each other for years nothing actually happened beca...
A. 6 October 2014: He is following GF orders. Some women are NOt keen on their BF having female friend that they had feelings for or slept with in the past. Some don't care. HIS GF does care.
Let it go.
And I have to say if these two break up I will bet he will... (read in full...)
Am I being too persnickety? Should I see this man again?
Q. With a track record of attracting and dating emotionally unavailable men, I've been working on trying to be more open and emotionally available myself, and dating more men, basically accepting most dates from men who ask online. I've been on t...
A. 6 October 2014: I think he is trying WAY to hard to "make it happen". Now I do think it's nice that he is showing that much interest, but I would be a little creeped out.
If you don't feel like talking to him as much as possible and going for a second date, th... (read in full...)
What do I do? Which girl do I choose? How do I let my ex down?
Q. Hi, Basically I am in a big dilemma in my life. I am 24 and had a ex gf for 3 years (she is 22 btw) and we split up 4 months ago. Due to the fact that we kept arguing, she lived too far, her parents didnt like me, she didnt want to leave home and...
A. 6 October 2014: Why the hurry to marry?
You second GF (the 19 year old) still has some growing to do before getting married and SO do you. And with you NOt being over your first GF ( don't lie, you know you aren't) you really should SLOW down. You are trying t... (read in full...)
Was this office hug inappropriate?
Q. I started a job a couple months ago. I work with a group of Christians. My boss is a woman and her boss, the big boss is one of the owners. He and I had a meeting the other day and after the meeting was over he asked me for a hug. I said okay and ...
A. 5 October 2014: All I can say is I find it weird. BUT I'm NOT a hugger of people I don't know well. And hugging my boss's boss? Not really my style.
I don't even know what a side hug is, but I think he asked for one of those because they are not deemed inapprop... (read in full...)
My Husband sent a text to another girl in the middle of the night ...
Q. I have a very simple question. Should I be worried? I got off work today to find a fb message from a girl my husband used to be friends with. It had a picture of a iPhone convo and her message to me read "this is not the first time your husban...
A. 5 October 2014: I don't really believe his excuse. That he saw her mom and then at midnight while being drunk he decided to send her a "how you doing ?!" text. Yea, that doesn't add up.
Now, SHE might want to start drama or she actually don't WANT to be one of "... (read in full...)
I feel unsupported by life, but I don't know how to solve this!
Q. Dear cupid. I'm upset and feel unsupported by life and intuition is saying that I'm subconsciously running behavior patterns that keep eliciting the same responses in others but I can't see where I'm going wrong. Please will someone offer some...
A. 5 October 2014: Can you give examples?
Kind of impossible to offer any advice with the little you have written.... (read in full...)
He's 17 and he said he would wait, if I did, or we could sneak it? What should we do?
Q. Well, I'm 13 and My best friend has a brother named Jack. Jack is turning 17, and i started seeing him more often and began to realize i had strong feelings for him. I told him I liked him. That night i slept in his room with him we didn't have s...
A. 5 October 2014: No, no no and just no. YOU (whether you like it or not) are STILL a kid. He is a young adult.
13 is WAY to soon for sex. Your body and mostly your MIND is not ready for this, not matter how mature you think you are.
The minimum age for consensu... (read in full...)
I love my partner's kids, but it breaks my heart to watch them walking on eggshells so they don't upset their mummy!
Q. Hi Basically I am due to be getting married next year to my wonderful partner of 3 years. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship (we met 2 years after the break up) and we are all close. I love his children to bits. When he proposed, immedi...
A. 5 October 2014: I think you should sit down with your soon-to-be husband and ask him how HE wants to handle this. These are "his" kids and she is "his" ex.
She sounds like a selfish cow.
I would also tell your SD that you don't want anyone to get upset, most ... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me! What happened?
Q. A co-worker and I really hit it off when we met. He kept calling me pretty and beautiful, he kept telling me the dates me wanted to take me on, he said I was an amazing girl and he couldn't get over how I could be single. He would call me and we ...
A. 5 October 2014: When you say hooking up, do you mean sex?
If so, he got what he wanted from you, he is on to the next unsuspecting new female employee.
YOU listened to his word-vomit and you DID NOT pay any heed to his actions.
Words:
He SAID he th... (read in full...)
Is my husband of 20 years getting ready to have another affair?
Q. my husband has contacted an old flame on facebook said he has been very happy with me, but after 20 years things are not what they used to be. He told this person he has been searching for her for 20 years and has never been so happy to see anyo...
A. 5 October 2014: He's got you second guessing yourself now. Calling the woman HE reached out to crazy, makes him seem absolutely innocent. He was "just" being nice (according to him) and she is nuts...... Funny enough SHE was the crazy one, but she blocked him?
... (read in full...)
Should I change my style of dress for my boyfriend who says I'm too old to wear certain things ???
Q. I just recently found out that I am the oldest women my boyfriend has ever dated minus his ex wife who was 5 years older than me. I have been dating my boyfriend 6 months and he has already said he loves me and I don't doubt that he dose , but I ...
A. 5 October 2014: He sounds like a moron.
Now I don't believe you can't DRESS up (more "fancy") when going out to dinner once in a while, but for HIM to try and dictate your dress? Nope. Not OK.
I'[m sorry picking out your underwear? What are you 3?
Tell h... (read in full...)
Every time I try to ask her out, I fold
Q. For the past few months now ive had really strong feelings about a girl i work with, its now got to the point where i cant stop thinking of her all day and night! This girl is amazing, tall, funny and mind blowingly stunning! Where as im just your ...
A. 5 October 2014: Well if you KNOW a girl well enough to ask her out, why not send her flowers and ask her out in the card? Or if it's too hard to do in person, ask in a text?
Only thing I think you REALLY need to consider is, CAN you handle going to work with her... (read in full...)
I want to see a doctor about a reoccuring UTI, but I have some concerns
Q. My age is kinda important in this so, I'm 16. Every time I've ever had sex I've gotten a uti afterwards. I always pee when we're done, but I still get one. I've even tried peeing at different times afterwards. One time I peed right after me a...
A. 5 October 2014: My advice - try using condoms.
Well, FIRST - go see your doctor and get the UTI treated. Some women get UTIs at the drop of a hat. You might be one of those.
Prevention - By Mayo Clinic Staff
Take these steps to reduce your risk of uri... (read in full...)
My 17 year old niece was extremely rude to me
Q. Hi everyone, this might sound trivial but it is really upsetting me lately. My niece is 17 and throughout her teenage years she has been a typical sulky teen. However since her 17th birthday she has been downright rude to me. She lives in another ...
A. 4 October 2014: No more presents, money or messages to her. I would still send a paper birthday card, because.... well, no need to be rude like she is. But everything else that comes with Birthdays and Christmas.. NOPE - she would get a card and no more.
I thi... (read in full...)
My mom is going to visit me but I cant stand the way she constantly criticizes me. How do I handle her?
Q. My mother and father are visiting my brother and his family today and tomm its my turn, they will be staying with me. I live alone. They live interstate and I see them maybe twice a year, I enjoy catching up with them, and we mostly get along, a...
A. 4 October 2014: Switch subject EVERY TIME she starts getting critical. Ignore what she said just move to another subject. Sooner or later she might actually catch on that you don't want to hear her "opinions".
It's called deflecting.
I think she wants you to... (read in full...)
I thought it was a relationship, but he was just "test driving the car"!
Q. Dear cupid.. Did I over react? I was talking to my bf the other night, and we talked about sex in relationships and I was saying how I prefer to wait until its been a little while in a relationship before sex. So as to get to know the other person. ...
A. 4 October 2014: I think YouWish kind of nailed it.
He is parroting some "crap" he heard, because he thought that it sort of makes sense.
I would let it go, but I WOULD tell him how misogynistic his little speech was and WHY you found it hurtful I think ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend and don't want to leave, but how can I make him see what a monster he is when he's drunk?
Q. My fiance has a binge drinking problem. When we are on a night out, its as if he just can't get enough and he doesn't know when to stop. He blows all our money on it too! And he gets violent.Last night, he was invited with me to a function and I was ...
A. 4 October 2014: I have to say, he might be violent while drunk, but you are NUTS and ENABLING him by staying. When you STAY with a guy who think it's OK to punch you in the nose and break a cup (WTF?!) over your head, HE is going to start thinking that HIS actions ... (read in full...)
She's a silly 19 year old with a baby and an overbearing mother! How do I withdraw my offer to talk to her?
Q. I have a lodger who is in his early 20's. He has a 19 year old girlfriend who stays over 3 nights a week. This is fine with me. I find her silly, stupid and totally lacking in the brains department but it's none of my business. Recently my lo...
A. 4 October 2014: I agree with YouWish here.
I would rather lose him as a lodger then have to take on the "extra" person. Mostly due to the legal side of it (like YouWish) pointed out.
I would also tell the lodger that you thought it over (about talking to her) ... (read in full...)
Why would he call me ugly and deny liking me?
Q. Hi. This story is slightly complicated. A few months ago a group of guys started working at my workplace. They were there to do some building work for a couple of months. They left last week. I got quite friendly with two of the guys. One of the...
A. 4 October 2014: Well, take it as a lesson in how fake people can be.
First of all the rumors might NOT have been started by guy A, but one of YOUR co-workers. You went of on "A" half-cocked, and he retaliated in full, by calling you a ugly B. So it's NOT like... (read in full...)
Should I just give it up and stop wasting my time on him?
Q. Hi. I'm confused and need advice. I like this guy and love talking to him. He admitted he also likes me and would go on a date with me when he is in the city. We have had all night long conversations but why am I ALWAYS the one to initiate? ...
A. 4 October 2014: I would back of for a bit and see if he starts to initiate, if he doesn't then you have your answer.
Being shy is all good and fine, but if he is so shy he can't show interest or text/call you, then I would look elsewhere.... (read in full...)
His daily gambling is getting in the way of our relationship!
Q. I'm with my fiancee two years and for the first time ever I feel like he prefers his phone more than me. 2 months ago he told me that he would set up a betting account and make very small bets to make money for a savings account. He said his limit ...
A. 3 October 2014: Time to end it. I agree that if you two live together, NOW is the time to ask him to leave or you leave (who ever had the place first) and break up the engagement.
HE is like SVC mentioned addicted to gambling and he won't stop. If you two star... (read in full...)
Is he remotely into me? Is this a crush? What kind of guy does he seem to be to you?
Q. Hello, I have only been in my school for a month and there is a boy who has caught my attention. But I have no idea of how to know if he likes me and my friends aren't the greatest help, either way here is what has happen. 1. I'll catch him starin...
A. 3 October 2014: I'm with both eyeswiseopen and WiseOwlE.
REALLY consider quitting the smoking. I smoked for 7 years and it's a nasty habit. Not only will quitting save you money, but you will also feel and smell better.
That aside... If he telling another ... (read in full...)
He broke up with the real me, but not before agreeing to a date with the fake profile I made on a dating site! Should I cancel in advance or just stand him up?
Q. I was seeing a guy from work for about 4 months but nothing was too serious as I had just come out of a long term relationship. One night as we was snuggled on the sofa, his phone went off and it was a notification from a dating website. I didn'...
A. 2 October 2014: This would be funny if it wasn't you getting hurt here. In a way the "fake you" save the REAL you from a long term relationship from a cheater.
So while I don't condone making "fake personas" to "catch" BF, fiances and husbands online - you actu... (read in full...)
I can't be with both girls! I have a lovely girl here but what about the one who I met in Florida?
Q. Thank you for reading - it's quite funny as I'm normally the one my friends ask for advice, yet here I am asking you all... It's been hard and I haven't been able to sleep much so I really need an outside perspective- thank you. I met a girl about...
A. 2 October 2014: I agree with SVC
Neither.
YOU wouldn't have "fallen" for the Florida girl, if your UK girl was the one for you. And you wouldn't have gotten sidetracked from your RELATIONSHIP (with the girl from UK) just by talking to a chick in the store, if... (read in full...)
Why does he only interrupt me when I'm studying?
Q. I'm married 34 year old woman who recently started school. I am in my second term now and have an established schedule for study, family and spouse time. I love my husband dearly and openly he says he is happy that I am in school and how proud of ...
A. 2 October 2014: Do you inform him that you will now STUDY and do NOT want to be disturbed for the next 1-2 hours? Or did you inform him when you first started that, this is how you want it?
Honestly, that would DRIVE me mad!
Here is my advice.
HAVE ... (read in full...)
Do I end a 3 year relationship and take a gamble on someone I think I have stronger feelings for or do I stick with what I have?
Q. I have a bit problem, and subsequent decision to make... two girls fighting for me and my affections. On one side i have my patner who i've been with for 3 years, i'm happy / content with her but id say not madly in love. the other side ...
A. 2 October 2014: I think if the relationship you are in was something you wanted to continue you wouldn't have cared as much about the co-workers "confession". I don't think ANYONE should settle for what they have, because it's familiar and convenient. THAT IS NOT ... (read in full...)
I've been trying for six months -- what else can I do?
Q. Need some advice from bros/sis, this might be a little lengthy. I know that she have other suitors, and i know its common thing for girls.. :(:( Her short background: [SPOILER]Shes Malaysian and divorced before have a kid around 5/6 years old i...
A. 2 October 2014: She has tried for 6 LONG months to let you know she doesn't WANT to date you or go out with you, so maybe you need to ACCEPT that.
And remember you CAN NOT buy love. And expensive bracelet isn't going to change her mind either.
I think you a... (read in full...)
How long does it take to forgive cheating and rebuild trust?
Q. My bf cheated twice and he has slowly made changes since then and im on guard but sometimes I feel like he is quick to jump on me about things I do wrong yet I had so much patiences towards him and his wrong doing. Am I wrong for feeling like im not ...
A. 2 October 2014: You are not over it. Once you don't feel like throwing it in his face, you have forgiven it. What people forget is, you CAN forgive (it takes time, with him having done it TWICE, no wonder!) but you will NEVER forget. It might be that you can NEVER ... (read in full...)
Is my husband of 20 years getting ready to have another affair?
Q. my husband has contacted an old flame on facebook said he has been very happy with me, but after 20 years things are not what they used to be. He told this person he has been searching for her for 20 years and has never been so happy to see anyo...
A. 30 September 2014: I would ask him. Or you can sit back and give him enough rope to "hang" himself first.
Is he just reaching out to feel a bit of the glory-days - a blast from the past or because he wants to reconnection in an emotional and physical way? That is ... (read in full...)
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