Did I cheat because of how he behaves on line?
Q. i have been in a relationship for 14 years. started dating him at the age of 17 him 27 now aged 31 and him 41. im confused. i cheated on him with a friend of ours. i have seen his facebook over the last couple of years with all porn sites and stuff. ...
A. 31 October 2014: Yes to all that YouWish said.
OWN your actions, be they good or bad.... (read in full...)
Can steroids and ice be reason for cheating?
Q. Hi I'm going through a tough experience. My partner and I were in an amazing rship for almost 2 years everything was perfect we were best friends and lovers n I couldn't fault him and then things changed n he was snorting ice and taking steroids.. ...
A. 31 October 2014: There is nothing wrong in wishing he would be THAT guy again, the one you feel in love with and spend 2 good years with. BUT it's not helping YOU, to pretend what he did, never happened.
I know HE wants a clean slate, but what about you? Does tha... (read in full...)
How can I get my partner to drop his friends without making an ultimatum?
Q. I don't like my partner's friends and it is pulling us apart. 18 months ago we made friends with a couple that live close by. The friendship began with dinner once a month at each others homes. After only meeting a handful of times my partner was ...
A. 31 October 2014: I agree with WhenCowsAttack - what exactly have these people done that is so horrible you don't want to associate with them? And don't want your BF to do so either?... (read in full...)
He wants to live with us and I don't want him to think it's a free ride
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I guess I need some advice from strangers purely because everyone who knows me or my boyfriend seem to be giving their opinion based on how things were between us before. We have a four year old son, and he wasn't plan...
A. 31 October 2014: Well IF you even want to consider letting him move in, SET some rules.
1. let it be a 3 months trial period. That way if you after a month or two feel like it's NOT working out, you can ask him to move back out. Which means... He can't bring a ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much from him --- drinking and sexual abuse
Q. Sorry this is so long. I hope someone takes the time to read it. I've been recently dealing with some guilt involving my relationship with my fiance. We have an awesome relationship first of all. I know we are meant to be together and we talk abo...
A. 31 October 2014: I think it's kind of simple, ALCOHOL is a trigger for you. NOT every time, but DRUNK MEN are (in your mind) NOT a good thing to be around. It kind of makes the most sense.
Start your counseling as soon as possible, and I'm sorry your BF doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can steroids and ice be reason for cheating?
Q. Hi I'm going through a tough experience. My partner and I were in an amazing rship for almost 2 years everything was perfect we were best friends and lovers n I couldn't fault him and then things changed n he was snorting ice and taking steroids.. ...
A. 31 October 2014: Well, I DO think drugs change people. He is NO longer the guy you dated. Seriously.
If you have ever dealt with an addict you will find that they will lie, steal, hurt others to get what THEY want. Mostly that is the "drug" (or whatever they are... (read in full...)
Is our sex life suffering because of what he's doing on his phone?
Q. My husband comments on my clothes if he thinks I look sexy in them, then there are days he doesn't even notice anything about me. Another issue is, he gets turned on by me, starts getting intimate, touches, undresses me, he gets sexually aroused,...
A. 31 October 2014: Instead of guessing what he is doing, TALK to him. And don't accept a lame excuse, like oh it's nothing..... (read in full...)
Can a man commit to just his wife?
Q. wow... its been a couple years of being a part of this site.. i look back at the past questions i have asked. lol... but here i am again. i have feelings that my amazing husband is cheating on me. is here such a thing of a man to be committed to one ...
A. 31 October 2014: If he is cheating he isn't as amazing as you had hoped or wished, but that is besides the point.
I've been married 17 years and we have had no infidelity. My brother have been with his wife for well over 25 years, no cheating. My bestie have bee... (read in full...)
Can steroids and ice be reason for cheating?
Q. Hi I'm going through a tough experience. My partner and I were in an amazing rship for almost 2 years everything was perfect we were best friends and lovers n I couldn't fault him and then things changed n he was snorting ice and taking steroids.. ...
A. 30 October 2014: Steroids are known for increased aggression. And for MANY users it turns into hardcore drug use to counteract insomnia and irritability resulting from anabolic steroids.
It doesn't TURN a guy into a cheater and liar. THOSE are choices.
And unf... (read in full...)
How can I keep the night going, tactfully?
Q. I'm going on a second date with a girl in a couple of days. We went out for drinks on our first date, which was also the first time we met. Overall, the date went well; it wasn't a smash, but we chatted for over an hour and seem to have some things ...
A. 30 October 2014: I'm with Ciar, I'd ask her out for a late snack or drinks afterwards NOT back to your place, because even IF you are not trying to pressure for sex, it can EASILY be construed as such.
And then when you ASK her out for the 3rd date GO somewher... (read in full...)
I don't trust him, don't accept his baggage, but he won't leave me alone
Q. Hello dearcupid, I've gotten great advice here before so now I'm back again. I have been seeing somebody for the last 10 months. I ended up falling deeply in love with him. He's the drama, when we first met it wasn't long before he found out she was ...
A. 29 October 2014: Just because he CALLS you his soulmate, doesn't mean that you ARE his soulmate. And it certainly doesn't mean you CAN'T find a BETTER guy with a LOT less baggage and drama.
His life is kind of sucky - having 3 (THREE!!!!) kids with a woman he... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he be nicer to me? Should I ignore him, just as he did to me?
Q. I am attending a course at university. I go to this course once every week with my friend. There is a guy that I like. Today in the end of course this guy talked almost all the time to my friend and not to me and also he gave his number to my fri...
A. 29 October 2014: He gave HER his number because he was either interested IN her or she seems interested IN him. Since he had NO idea that your friend already HAS a BF, there is nothing WRONG in giving HER his number. HOWEVER, your friend.... could have declined.
... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I'd rather have a piece of jewellery than chocolates as a present, and not sound ungrateful?
Q. So, on my birthday my boyfriend (of about 9 months) bought me chocolates, along with taking me out for dinner and dessert. I enjoyed it, afterwards we spent some time together on the beach and I acknowledge he did spend a fair amount of money on...
A. 29 October 2014: Have a chat about how much you both think is fair to spend, first of all. If you spend a BUNCH of money on him that is kind of YOUR CHOICE. He didn't MAKE you do that, so don't EXPECT him to spend the same amount back, unless you two set a spending ... (read in full...)
Is my Boyfriend more likely to cheat because 4 of his friends are cheaters?
Q. Four of my boyfriend's friends (both females and males) have cheated on their partner. Does that mean he is more likely to cheat?...
A. 29 October 2014: I agree with SVC's analogy about cocaine.
The important thing here, is HOW he think/feel about cheating, personally. If he thinks it's no big deal, then yes, obviously, he is more likely to cheat. If he doesn't condone his friend's actions,... (read in full...)
Should I go with girl A? But what can I do about Girl C's jealousy?
Q. Hello DC, it's been a little while. I need some help. Girl problems, as usual. Pretty wordy, this one. Sorry. There's a girl, let's call her Girl A. She's new to my life, but when I met her, I knew something good would happen. I had asked her ou...
A. 29 October 2014: ***Should I give Girl A a chance and see how it goes?***
If you have a school dance coming up or may ask her to a haunted house/hay ride thing? Why not? If YOU like her and she seems interested, but when you ask her out, make sure it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy, but I can't figure him out. Any tips please to help me understand?
Q. I've been hanging out with this guy I met in class. He's 23. At first, he would just text me about school stuff. Then, he started asking me to hang out with him. We would talk almost everyday and its mostly him contacting me first. So, the first ...
A. 29 October 2014: Maybe back off a little? Stop pursuing him? LET him get some time in there to "miss" you?
There really IS no need for you to apologize to this guy. You aren't dating and you don't OWE him to blow off your brother for him. Nor do you OWE him an e... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend and his ex-sister in law! I am incandesant with anger over this. What could or should I do?
Q. My boyfriend slept with his ex sister in-law, so that now has a baby by his brother. I can't get over the past and I don't think I ever will. I hate that "BITCH" and she's part of their family which I can't stand!!!What should I do about this s...
A. 29 October 2014: I have to say there is an EASY way out of this drama..
GET A NEW BF!
"Hating" the ex-sister-in-law doesn't fix a thing. What is done is done. And I SERIOUSLY doubt she put a gun to his head and said have sex with me or else. My guess is, your B... (read in full...)
I do miss him. But first I want him to miss me. So HOW do I ensure that he really misses me?
Q. Okay so there is this guy I like. recently we hung out and he told me how he thinks i'm beautiful and that he likes my personality. I like him a lot too hes really cool, and we seemed to have been getting a long just fine, but the problem is. ...
A. 29 October 2014: You need to learn to SAY what you MEAN and MEAN what you say. Not play passive-aggressive games hopping the people around you will READ your mind and know what you want from them.
IDK and Whatever are VERY passive-aggressive "IDGAF" comments... (read in full...)
He was just being friendly, right?
Q. A young guy has recently started at out workplace and was being introduced to everyone and he came into the room I was in, smiled and said hello but as he left and while I was talking to his manager he winked at me. I know I should probably ...
A. 28 October 2014: I think he is just being nice and a little cheeky.
... (read in full...)
His apartment is freezing, but he doesn't turn up the heat! Do I stop visiting?
Q. Perhaps this is a weird question, but some suggestions on how to best deal with this would be nice. I've got a key to my boyfriends apartment, and I have been staying at his place for about every other day these last months. It's usually his plac...
A. 28 October 2014: I agree with the, STOP visiting, advice.
He knows why, and if he asks just explain it calmly. ... (read in full...)
It seems he doesn't want me in his life anymore, what do I do?
Q. We met 6 years ago in college and since then he have been talking on the phone and he said he used to care about me and all that but would always ask for sexy pictures. At first I refused in doing so and then I gave in. So then, he came to town to ...
A. 28 October 2014: He sounds like he got seriously damaged in that car accident. And I mean psychologically and physically.
He is using such an insane push pull method that I would have walked a long time ago. The thing is, HE has blocked YOU. Which means you don'... (read in full...)
Should I stay away from her until she's officially divorced? Right now she's separated.
Q. So, this is a new one for me... There is this girl that I got acquainted with recently. We really hit it off well and have a lot in common. We do seem to connect well on an emotional level and she says that I bring out the best in her and stir ...
A. 28 October 2014: Not really knowing much about the husband/divorce (other than what she has told you) I'd try and keep it on "neutral ground" so to speak.
It's a complicated situation, no matter what and walking a "mine field" of potential drama can be avoided ... (read in full...)
Should I stay away from her until she's officially divorced? Right now she's separated.
Q. So, this is a new one for me... There is this girl that I got acquainted with recently. We really hit it off well and have a lot in common. We do seem to connect well on an emotional level and she says that I bring out the best in her and stir ...
A. 28 October 2014: I agree with SVC. KEEP it at a friend's level and LET her know why you're doing so.
The time it takes to divorce is the time SHE should work on getting over the past relationship - NOT go look for a replacement before the ink has even been put... (read in full...)
I resent her, and feel bad about not forgiving her, this time. Is it time to break up with her?
Q. On Wednesday night I found out my girlfriend had been actively looking for someone on a dating site, after logging into the account I seen she was flirting/dirty talking with this other person, I confronted her the second I found it. We've been...
A. 28 October 2014: In time you will come to realize how unhealthy this relationship is.
You have spend 2 YEARS dealing with this HOPING that LOVE will "fix" her. MAKE her a good and faithful GF, but it won't.
Having been together for 2 years, doesn't mean you... (read in full...)
Can a married man fall in long with his mistress? Or is the lover just used for sex on the side?
Q. Do married men only use their lover on the side just for sex only? Can they actually fall in love with their mistress, despite being torn because of the children? ...
A. 28 October 2014: I think a married man CAN feel love for his WIFE and his MISTRESS - but if he stays with the wife and the marriage - he really only LOVE himself.
There are VERY few marriages where a divorce would be almost impossible in this day and age. So stayi... (read in full...)
He's controlling and abusive. What's the best way to handle this situation?
Q. Been with my partner almost five years, we have a four year old son together. For the last two years our relationship has been very rocky. It has been an unhappy relationship for me, since being with him he has stopped me seeing family and frien...
A. 28 October 2014: Why wait till you have saved enough? Why not ASK your family for help? Move in (temporarily) with family till you can get a place for you and your son.
He's taken YEARS to slowly isolate you from your friends and family and you LET him, it seems... (read in full...)
Should I go along to the Doctor with my fiance when she visits the Doctor to talk about contraception?
Q. Hi everyone. I am engaged to get married next year in june. It is about my fiance going to be using birth control. She plans to go see the doctor and get all that figured out. But when would be a good time to go to the doctor and should i go alon...
A. 28 October 2014: That would be her call, not yours.
My guess is she is QUITE capable of going to see the doctor and get this sorted out herself. To be honest I think MOST women rather NOT have extra "audience" in the exam room WITH THEM when they have a OB/GYN a... (read in full...)
Can you help calculate the maths to perhaps arrive at which guy is the likely father?
Q. This is kind of embarrassing but i just want an opinion im fairly sure i know the answer would like some opinions though. I am 6 mths pregnant. at the time of falling pregnant i slept with 2 guys. im fairly sure i know who the dad is but was w...
A. 28 October 2014: I would say it's so close that no one here can predict who the "daddy" is, only a DNA test will tell you that.
And (without bashing) you HAVE to own up to the fact that they BOTH have the right to know you will be testing after the baby is born.... (read in full...)
Met online. He's separated but still married. Did he break up due to me questioning him?
Q. I really need your advice here- I'm female (27) been dating this amazing man (35) who's separated but still married that I met online, -we went on four amazing dates (2 dinners, drinks and an art exhibition). We instantly clicked and we had amazing ...
A. 28 October 2014: Good luck and in the future I'd stay clear of married ones... They may call it separated, they MAY not live with that person, but if a divorce hasn't been initiated there is a REASON for that.
Less drama, less baggage.
Good luck!
... (read in full...)
My Gf is seeing her ex, but has not told me. What is the best way of dealing with this?
Q. Hi, My girlfriend is still best friends with her ex boyfriend, which I aren't really okay by, but I know that if I confront her about it then she will just say don't make me choose, so therefore that means that she will chose him over me. I woul...
A. 28 October 2014: I would tell her that she obviously DID make a choice and that was NOT you. Then walk away. She isn't having out with this guy because he is SUCH a good friend. And HE didn't give her a new Iphone because she is his best buddy.....
She is seeing H... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking this? My friend wants me to accomodate her friends at my home. I don't know them and feel uncomfortable about her request.
Q. Friends question. I got a bit bewildered to day by friend's request. She is my very good friend, I know her for 15 years. They have this friends a couple from a different city who comes on vacation to our part for New Year's Eve and stay for ...
A. 28 October 2014: I wouldn't make a big deal out of this. I DO think she was being kind of rude to OFFER your place for someone to stay at, specially when you don't really know them. Sorry, I would let stranger come stay at my house, not while I'm there, not while ... (read in full...)
Met online. He's separated but still married. Did he break up due to me questioning him?
Q. I really need your advice here- I'm female (27) been dating this amazing man (35) who's separated but still married that I met online, -we went on four amazing dates (2 dinners, drinks and an art exhibition). We instantly clicked and we had amazing ...
A. 27 October 2014: You write:
**I really regret questioning him about the bikes and his ex**
WHY? It was an honest question. It made SENSE to ask.
HE IS still married. For all intent and purpose. Separated doesn't mean single, because LEGALLY... HE is still m... (read in full...)
Did hiring a escort make me look bad?
Q. I'm doing an update since my post "I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?" (I'm 28 now)and have not post anything for few months. Well I hired a escort and done the deed, and I can my experience was not bad as ...
A. 27 October 2014: Well good luck with a life of escorts.... (read in full...)
I told him if he wants to be with me he has to break up with his partner first
Q. So being a 29 year old and single for a year I seem to have gotten myself into a rather difficult situation ... Whilst recently on holiday I met a guy who i noticed, and few days over the holiday the usual eye contact etc. We exchanged numbers and ...
A. 27 October 2014: Honestly, the best thing you can do (for yourself) is walk away. Let him know that you really DO like him, but you don't think it' fair on his BF to keep it going.
IF he genuinely care for you, he will end it with the BF.
NEVER settle being som... (read in full...)
Is it mean to take back my necklace that my boyfriend wants to keep?
Q. Hey, so I'll make this short and sweet. I needed a second opinion, because my friend said that this was a bad idea. Last week when I was over at my boyfriend's house I left my FAVORITE guitar pick necklace, it's my absolute favorite necklace...
A. 27 October 2014: Should you "just" let him keep it? NO. It's yours. And not only that it's YOUR favorite.
Like Cindy said, you tell him, THANKS! for keeping it safe, I want it back now.
Doesn't mean you can't still have one made for him for Christmas, but t... (read in full...)
My parents need me to get in contact with my ex?
Q. I have an issue. My mom and dad need me to get in contact with my ex. My ex and I dated last year, and it was a horrible, horrible relationship. He broke my heart, and made my life miserable. By far, the worst relationship I ever had. He left me ...
A. 27 October 2014: Pretty much all that Arabella wrote.
No need to contact the EX. Your Dad needs to contact the mom/dad.
You don't know her maiden name, but if you do search ( you might have to pay $6-12 for a background report) on their married address (might e... (read in full...)
Did hiring a escort make me look bad?
Q. I'm doing an update since my post "I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?" (I'm 28 now)and have not post anything for few months. Well I hired a escort and done the deed, and I can my experience was not bad as ...
A. 27 October 2014: I can't believe you give up on "life" like that. The whole "woe is me" is what's not getting you a GF, not visiting a "escort".
Most women would not want to be with a guy who have had sex with a prostitute. Some women would understand that it'... (read in full...)
Why was this girl so rude and tried so hard to dominate the conversation and make me feel uncomfortable
Q. All of my boyfriend's friends live on the opposite coast, where he grew up, so I don't get to meet them often. One of his friend's came out to visit our area with his girlfriend last week. I was so excited to meet them. I had heard all about this ...
A. 27 October 2014: She might actually also have been uncomfortable. I have a friend who turns into a VERBAL waterfall when nervous, I mean she DOESN'T shut up lol. She is better now, than she was when we were in our 20's though.
So all in all, don't assume she did ... (read in full...)
Am I right to stay with him when there are so many issues in our relationship?
Q. I'm so confused. I don't know if I want to be with my partner of 7 years any more?? The trouble is we have been together for all this time and I wouldn't know what to do or who I am without him. It has been getting clearer over the last year that we ...
A. 27 October 2014: Maybe it's time to sit down and see if you are STILL on the same page Or if you two have grown apart.
Seems like you two want different things and that your BF is taking you for granted OR he is "ignoring" you to make YOU the one to end the rela... (read in full...)
My ex chose to become engaged 6 days after we broke up. Should I even listen to her explanation?
Q. My ex left me for another man who is fat, creepy old, and has a 19yr old daughter. The next day after breaking up, shes in a relationship. 6 days after, they are engaged. She is 23, he is 36. She Is a model and gorgeous, and he is disgusting. I su...
A. 26 October 2014: As much as it goes against your moral grain, I would BLOCK, DELETE and REMOVE her from your life. Block her number, delete it, block,un-friend her from social media. SET yourself free.
Obviously SHE has a LOT of drama going on, add drug use and ... (read in full...)
Only ever had sex with my BF so how could my BF have given me HPV? Is his excuse plausible? Or has he been cheating?
Q. It seemed really strange I developed HPV from my boyfriend. I confronted my boyfriend after my doctor told me I had HPV. At this point I'm sure he was cheating, how else would he get it, how else would I get it. We lost our virginity together, so I ...
A. 26 October 2014: You can get HPV by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the virus. It is most commonly spread during vaginal or anal sex. HPV can be passed even when an infected person has no signs or symptoms.
SO unless YOU had SEX with som... (read in full...)
Why was this girl so rude and tried so hard to dominate the conversation and make me feel uncomfortable
Q. All of my boyfriend's friends live on the opposite coast, where he grew up, so I don't get to meet them often. One of his friend's came out to visit our area with his girlfriend last week. I was so excited to meet them. I had heard all about this ...
A. 26 October 2014: She is an attention whore, pure and simple.
It's look at ME! Listen to ME! I'm the center of the universe!
Some people are like that. Mostly because they really aren't all that interesting themselves so they pull the "memory lane" routine, t... (read in full...)
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